'Harold Pottery and the Warlock's Rock'
Narrator: Mr. and Mrs. Dumbsley were as normal as two people were. They lived in a normal American city next to normal American people.
Mr. Dumbsley: Goodbye, Violet, I'm going to the screwdriver factory.
Violet Dumbsley: Goodbye, Victor, do please pick up some honeydew on your way back home.
Victor Dumbsley: (nods) Bye my Dunderwundoms.
Dunder Dumbsley: insert fake baby noises
Victor Dumbsley drives in his *new* car and notices funny looking people.
Victor: Damn elderly, always dressing in the new style.
He sees a lion reading a sign.
Victor: We don't have lions in America. It must be those damned old people.
He arrives at the screwdriver factory, trying to keep his mind off of what happened to those old people. He then goes on his bathroom break. When on his bathroom break, he can't help but overhear people talking.
Unknown Person1:...says 'The-Bad-One' is dead...
Unknown Person2:...little Harold Pottery...
Unknown Person3:...John and Lilac Pottery are supposedly dead...
Victor is startled.
Victor: (to self) Isn't Violet's brother named John? Don't they have a kid named Harold? Or is it Harry? Maybe it's Lars..."
After a usual day at work, Victor went home, still seeing elderly people in funny looking clothes. He thought of mentioning John, but thought better of it.
Television: And next, Survivor 367: Ornskoldsvik, Sweden!
Victor: Speaking of Ornskoldsvik, I saw some weird things on the way to and from the screwdriver factory.
Violet gets a look of displeasure on her face.
Violet: What?
Victor: I saw a lot of old people, and a lion reading a sign.
Violet: So!?
Victor: Have you heard from your brother in awhile?
Violet: (snorts) No, not really.
Victor: Oh.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Victor opens door. A pint sized man is standing at the door. He stands no taller than 2 feet. In his hands he holds a baby.
Victor: What do you want?
Man: My name is Richard Ragdih.
Victor: So?
Richard shoves child in Victor's hands, he pulls a letter out of his pocket and throws it at Victor. He jumps on to a moped and flies away.
11 YEARS LATER
An older Harold wakes up in the cobwebbed attic. He hears his Aunt Violet pounding on the floors.
Harold: I'm getting up, I'm getting up.
Violet: I have a bone to pick with you.
Harold: Again?
Violet: I heard that.
Harold dresses and goes into the dining room.
Violet: How do you explain this?
Harold was amazed. He had an e-mail addressed to him.
Harold: I don't know. I never get on the computer.
Violet deletes it.
Harold: Hey! That was my e-mail!
Violet: Not anymore.
Dunder: What was that?
Violet: Oh nothing. Oh look at the time, it's 9:00, time for a snack. Harold, go back to your attic and think about what you did.
The next day, Victor had to talk to him.
Victor: What's this? You have three e-mails.
Harold: Can I read one?
Victor: No. Go to your attic and think about what you have done.
Harold awakes at 4:00 in the morning. He tries to check his e-mails before anyone else can. He sneaks down there to find Uncle Victor hunched over the screen looking at pornography.
Victor: Go to your attic and think about what you have done!
Over the weeks, more and more e-mails arrived. Finally Uncle Victor was sick of it.
Victor: Come on, we're going far, far away from here.
They hop into the car and drive and drive. Finally, they reach a cabin floating in the middle of Lake Michigan.
Dunder: I don't like the looks of that!
Victor: Get over it, boy.
They each take separate jet skis to the floating cabin. After much complaining, they settle down and sleep.
Harold is awaken by a mild knock on the door.
Victor: Go away.
A window opens and in comes Richard Ragdih.
He hands Harold a box of Cracker Jacks.
Richard: Happy birthday!
Harold: T-Thank you, Mr....
Richard: Call me Ragdih, most people do.
Victor: (pulls out light saber) Stay away from my family!
Ragdih: I'm just here to give Harold his e-mail. Fresh off the printer.
He hands Harold a piece of paper.
It says: Dear Mr. Pottery,
You have been excepted at Pigboils University of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You need to report to Platform 21 3/6 on September 2. We await your dragonfly no late than August 1st.
Melinda McGallbladder
Deputy Headmistress
Harold: What is this supposed to mean?
Ragdih: You don't know?
Harold: What?
Ragdih: You never told him?
Victor: We never got around to it!
Ragdih: Did you get around to telling him anything?
Victor: Uh, not really.
Harold: They told me my parents died in a stampede at Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh.
Ragdih: You what?
Victor: Well, it seemed believable.
Ragdih: Harold, you're a wizard.
Harold: GASP!
Ragdih: Your parents were killed by...hmmm...
Harold: What?
Ragdih: Egh - he's so EVIL I don't much want to say his name.
Harold: Why don't you write it down?
Ragdih: I'm illiterate, I reckon I'll just say it. Your parents were killed by the evil Lord Mauvaishomme.
Harold: (surprised) Oh. Well, I think I will sleep right now.
Ragdih: Yes, I am tired. Tomorrow we will go to Horizontal Alley to get your supplies.
Harold: Okay!
***
Okay, Disney is evil, that's why this is intended to be stupid, thus is. If I get nice reviews I'll post the rest of Harold Pottery and the Warlock's Rock!
Narrator: Mr. and Mrs. Dumbsley were as normal as two people were. They lived in a normal American city next to normal American people.
Mr. Dumbsley: Goodbye, Violet, I'm going to the screwdriver factory.
Violet Dumbsley: Goodbye, Victor, do please pick up some honeydew on your way back home.
Victor Dumbsley: (nods) Bye my Dunderwundoms.
Dunder Dumbsley: insert fake baby noises
Victor Dumbsley drives in his *new* car and notices funny looking people.
Victor: Damn elderly, always dressing in the new style.
He sees a lion reading a sign.
Victor: We don't have lions in America. It must be those damned old people.
He arrives at the screwdriver factory, trying to keep his mind off of what happened to those old people. He then goes on his bathroom break. When on his bathroom break, he can't help but overhear people talking.
Unknown Person1:...says 'The-Bad-One' is dead...
Unknown Person2:...little Harold Pottery...
Unknown Person3:...John and Lilac Pottery are supposedly dead...
Victor is startled.
Victor: (to self) Isn't Violet's brother named John? Don't they have a kid named Harold? Or is it Harry? Maybe it's Lars..."
After a usual day at work, Victor went home, still seeing elderly people in funny looking clothes. He thought of mentioning John, but thought better of it.
Television: And next, Survivor 367: Ornskoldsvik, Sweden!
Victor: Speaking of Ornskoldsvik, I saw some weird things on the way to and from the screwdriver factory.
Violet gets a look of displeasure on her face.
Violet: What?
Victor: I saw a lot of old people, and a lion reading a sign.
Violet: So!?
Victor: Have you heard from your brother in awhile?
Violet: (snorts) No, not really.
Victor: Oh.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Victor opens door. A pint sized man is standing at the door. He stands no taller than 2 feet. In his hands he holds a baby.
Victor: What do you want?
Man: My name is Richard Ragdih.
Victor: So?
Richard shoves child in Victor's hands, he pulls a letter out of his pocket and throws it at Victor. He jumps on to a moped and flies away.
11 YEARS LATER
An older Harold wakes up in the cobwebbed attic. He hears his Aunt Violet pounding on the floors.
Harold: I'm getting up, I'm getting up.
Violet: I have a bone to pick with you.
Harold: Again?
Violet: I heard that.
Harold dresses and goes into the dining room.
Violet: How do you explain this?
Harold was amazed. He had an e-mail addressed to him.
Harold: I don't know. I never get on the computer.
Violet deletes it.
Harold: Hey! That was my e-mail!
Violet: Not anymore.
Dunder: What was that?
Violet: Oh nothing. Oh look at the time, it's 9:00, time for a snack. Harold, go back to your attic and think about what you did.
The next day, Victor had to talk to him.
Victor: What's this? You have three e-mails.
Harold: Can I read one?
Victor: No. Go to your attic and think about what you have done.
Harold awakes at 4:00 in the morning. He tries to check his e-mails before anyone else can. He sneaks down there to find Uncle Victor hunched over the screen looking at pornography.
Victor: Go to your attic and think about what you have done!
Over the weeks, more and more e-mails arrived. Finally Uncle Victor was sick of it.
Victor: Come on, we're going far, far away from here.
They hop into the car and drive and drive. Finally, they reach a cabin floating in the middle of Lake Michigan.
Dunder: I don't like the looks of that!
Victor: Get over it, boy.
They each take separate jet skis to the floating cabin. After much complaining, they settle down and sleep.
Harold is awaken by a mild knock on the door.
Victor: Go away.
A window opens and in comes Richard Ragdih.
He hands Harold a box of Cracker Jacks.
Richard: Happy birthday!
Harold: T-Thank you, Mr....
Richard: Call me Ragdih, most people do.
Victor: (pulls out light saber) Stay away from my family!
Ragdih: I'm just here to give Harold his e-mail. Fresh off the printer.
He hands Harold a piece of paper.
It says: Dear Mr. Pottery,
You have been excepted at Pigboils University of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You need to report to Platform 21 3/6 on September 2. We await your dragonfly no late than August 1st.
Melinda McGallbladder
Deputy Headmistress
Harold: What is this supposed to mean?
Ragdih: You don't know?
Harold: What?
Ragdih: You never told him?
Victor: We never got around to it!
Ragdih: Did you get around to telling him anything?
Victor: Uh, not really.
Harold: They told me my parents died in a stampede at Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh.
Ragdih: You what?
Victor: Well, it seemed believable.
Ragdih: Harold, you're a wizard.
Harold: GASP!
Ragdih: Your parents were killed by...hmmm...
Harold: What?
Ragdih: Egh - he's so EVIL I don't much want to say his name.
Harold: Why don't you write it down?
Ragdih: I'm illiterate, I reckon I'll just say it. Your parents were killed by the evil Lord Mauvaishomme.
Harold: (surprised) Oh. Well, I think I will sleep right now.
Ragdih: Yes, I am tired. Tomorrow we will go to Horizontal Alley to get your supplies.
Harold: Okay!
***
Okay, Disney is evil, that's why this is intended to be stupid, thus is. If I get nice reviews I'll post the rest of Harold Pottery and the Warlock's Rock!