by "Sol" SwordSkill
Author's Notes: I got the title from one of the reviews of my How Do I Love Thee? Yahiko's Story. (sweatdrop) I know it's terribly unoriginal of me to use your review, Karina-san, but I can't get a great phrase outta my head if I don't write it down. The least I can do is thank you for that and the great people who reviewed: arigatou!^^ Well, I didn't drink a tall glass of Mocha Frappuccino before writing this, so this may not be as good as my Yahiko's Story, but please, review as well!
I snipped the last of the herbal tea leaves from my backyard garden of medicinal plants and put it inside my apron pocket. Dusk had fallen, and I needed to collect my herbs so I can work on them as soon as possible.
After leaving Tokyo, I had settled back in Aizu and opened an official clinic. I had an assistant as well, a teenager named Tsubaki. The business was thriving; although we did not charge patients who were unable to pay for our services, they frequently presented us gifts in return.
I had given Tsubaki a whole week to spend time with her koibito in Tokyo. Ah, young love. I never had much share of that. When I stayed in Tokyo, people teased me about Sagara Sanosuke, but that didn't really go anywhere. Recently after I left, I heard that he fled from Kenshin and the others so they wouldn't be involved in his reputation as a wanted bandit.
Heh. I knew a long time ago that that was all he was going to amount up to.
I made my way back to the clinic and emptied the leaves into a clay bowl. I reached for the marble pestle and began grinding the leaves.
I wonder where Sano is right now. I wonder if he and I never left the Kamiya Dojo, would anything would have happened between us?
I shook the thought away mentally. Sano was a clout and an oaf, and that was all he was. Nothing more. And that was never going to change.
"Megumi-sensei! Megumi-sensei!" I heard some of the kids outside yell.
"Yes?" I yelled back. Nothing must stop my tea leaves. A patient would be expecting them soon and I need to have the medicine done quickly.
"There's a man here who says he needs to see you!" I heard them say. "He says there's something wrong with his hand!"
"His hand?" A vague notion popped into my head. But it was impossible. He would never...
"Tell him to wait for a second," I said, washing my hands and wiping them on a nearby towel.
I took off my apron and hung it on the peg on the wall. Then I hurried down the gate to open it, just to get the shock of my life.
My eyes widened and my arms fell limp. I gasped, "Sagara San-"
The runaway bandit suddenly clamped his rough and calloused hand over my mouth and dragged me into the clinic.
Needless to say, I was quite enraged over this treatment! Had Sano finally lost his last, living brain cell as I had predicted? It certainly looked that way. Making sure no was watching, I bit him right on his hand. That should teach him!
"Oww!" he yelled, wrenching his hand away from me. "Kitsune-onna, what the heck do you think you're doing?"
Well, it was Sano alright. His hair was longer, his headband was tattered, his face had grown more mature and rugged and there were a few scars on it, but it was him nevertheless.
"Me?!" I flared out angrily. I always found it hard to keep my temper when dealing with Sano. "What do you think you're doing, barging in here like that?"
He gave his trademark rakish smile that had always inexplicably given me a tingly feeling in my spine and said, "You did tell me that I'll always be welcome in Aizu in case my left hand bothers me again, riiiight?"
"I wish I didn't!" I retorted. "Not when I knew that you'd clamp me in the mouth like a low-down burglar!"
"Calm down, Fox," said Sano, raising his hands. "I did that within reason."
I folded my arms across my chest and gave him a dark look. "I'm listening."
"I just wanted to make sure no one called me Sagara Sanosuke here," he said. "Here, I'm known as Hiro Fujin."
"And why would that be?" I asked, not dropping the glare.
"For gosh's sake, onna, I'm a wanted man!" he said, looking irritated. "Naturally I have to change my name!"
"And why are you here?" I asked. "Judging from the way you dragged me in here, your hand doesn't have much of a problem."
Sano looked a little crestfallen. "Did it look that obvious?" he asked.
My heart skipped a beat. Maybe...maybe Sano came here to visit me and used his hand as an excuse...?
"Yes, it was pretty obvious," I said haughtily before I could get any more absurd ideas. "Out with the truth, Sagara!"
"It's Hiro Fujin."
"Whatever."
"Ano..." Sano cracked his knuckles. "I thought you really meant that I'd be welcome here anytime, and well, the police was really hounding me lately."
My glare dissipated. "Until now?"
"Yeah. So I thought that maybe you need a little help around here and..."
My castle in the sky came crumbling down, and I was furious. "...and you're going to make me hide you here, aren't you?" I screeched. "Well, let me tell you, Sanosuke, ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
"Aww, have a heart, Megumi!"
"Now don't you start sweetening me up!" I shouted, noting the "Megumi" instead of "Fox Lady".
"Megumi..."
"Do you know what you're asking me to do? Risk the reputation of me and the clinic!"
"Megumi..."
"I can't have you jeopardizing the clinic, do you hear?!"
"MEGUMI!"
"What?!" I glared back.
He looked very weary as he said, "Look, if you don't want to, you just have to say it once. I'll understand. I'm not baka, all right? I know you can't risk the clinic for me; I came to ask only as a last resort, since I have nothing else to lose. I know this doesn't sound like me, but I'm tired of running from the police every single time." He shrugged. "I'm just asking a favor from an old friend. If she turns it down, I won't hold it against her."
Somehow, I felt utmost sympathy for the man. I knew from experience that it was hard running away for a long time, and sometimes I had to settle down. I suppose that was what Sano was asking from me, and I suppose if I were Kenshin, I'd accept him into the clinic.
I looked back at Sano. His piercing eyes were staring at me, and suddenly, I felt very very shy.
"Well, it's night already, so you might as well stay," I said grudgingly, tearing my eyes from him. "You can stay here as long as you make yourself useful."
Sanosuke brightened up and he reached out to hug me, but I quickly stepped away and said "Don't push your luck, Fujin. You're here to help me, and not for funny business."
"No funny business," he solemnly promised. "I really owe you one, onna. I'll make it up to you someday."
I shrugged as an answer, trying hard not to blush. When did I start to become this irrational? First I agreed to keep him, and now I'm blushing like a giggly girl in love.
Love. Pah! With Sanosuke? Forget it.
"Megumi-sensei! Megumi-sensei! Somebody's been run down by a horse!"
I jumped up and barked at Sano, "Let him in and bring him into the sick room and don't waste any time!"
"I gotcha," he said, and dashed outside.
I quickly hurried to the sick room, where I treated patients in severe emergencies. I donned my smock, tied my long hair up, and washed my hands in water thoroughly. Patching up people was a messy business and needed to be done with utmost care.
"Megumi!" Sano came back to view, carrying a pale, little body on his arms. I took one look and bile rose to my throat. I almost threw up.
There was brown-haired Kawasaki Suzu, my seven-year-old friend, unconscious, her face deathly pale. Her petite body was covered in blood, each of her arms looked as if they were hanging by a single tendon, and her torso...poor musume! What did the sweet little girl do to deserve this?
Her father was behind Sano, fear and horror spread across his face. As Sano laid the mangled girl on the bed, Kawasaki Roku whispered in a ghostly voice, "Will she live, doctor? Will my little daughter live?"
I bit my lip as I took out my sewing equipment and my bottle of homemade disinfectant. "I will try, Kawasaki-san. That is all I can promise you."
I briskly bent down to disinfect her body, or what seemed to remain of it. As I cleaned her up and sewed the big, gaping holes, images of little Suzu flooded my mind. She was the first one who welcomed me in my new home here in Aizu with a big smile on her face and her eyes shining at the prospect of having a doctor as a new villager. Other villagers told me that Suzu was the most kind-hearted soul they had ever met. I have been witness to that fact many times. And here she was, her life hanging by every thread that I sewed in her.
I worked the hours away, sweat beading on my brow and bathing my back. Sano offered to get me some dinner, but I shook my head no. Nothing was more important than the life of this little one. Her father stayed with us, never ceasing to pray to Kami-sama. No one ate.
Midnight came, and I was half done. My face was splattered with flecks of blood. Sano took a wet towel and wiped them off for me, and as he did, he murmured with a wink, "Can't have that ruin your beauty." I took half a second to roll my eyes, then I was back on Suzu. As I worked on her, I said, "Kawasaki-san, you should probably go home. This will take another few hours to finish, and you must get your rest."
"But my daughter-"
"She's in capable hands, Kawasaki-san, and that I can bet my life on," intervened Sano. I gave him a grateful look, but Sano was already leading Kawasaki out of the clinic.
When Sanosuke came back, he told me, "That was all and well with her oto-san, but what about you? You need your rest too. Look at your shaking hands!"
"Quiet, Sano," I snapped as I snipped another piece of thread and slid it into the needle's head. My eyes twitched from fatigue, but..."Don't interrupt."
He didn't. He stayed there.
A hour dragged on as I did my best, until I suddenly realized...
No heartbeat.
I dropped my scissors with a clang to the floor. Sano jumped up and said, "What's the matter?"
"I can't find her pulse," I said frantically. My stomach knotted up as I quickly spread my hands over her body. "There's no heartbeat!"
My panic rose as Sano took Suzu's stiff arm, and the look on his face said it all. We were too late. She was dead.
Suzu is dead.
This was not the first time I had dealt with death, but did it have to happen to Kawasaki Suzu?
Dear, sweet Suzu...
I felt dizzy with remorse.
I had failed. I worked hard through the night, but I had failed.
My body went numb. My tired knees turned weak as a flood of sorrow hit me squarely on the chest. My hands shook. I was losing it bit by bit.
My sight was swimming in a rain of tears and I could feel myself falling, falling in space, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I had lost Suzu. A sob welled up and came out as a choke as my knees buckled and finally gave way.
I felt Sano's strong arms catch me as a turmoil of emotions threatened to suffocate me. I wanted to cry; oh, I dearly so wanted to cry my feelings out...but not in Sano's presence...I can't...I must be strong...must be strong...
Suddenly, I was in the middle of Sano's tight and warm embrace. His well-muscled arms encircled my shoulders and his rough hands gently stroked my hair. There were no words, but his comfort gave me all I wanted to feel. I couldn't help it as I sobbed and buried my tear-streaked face on his chest.
He was so warm...so warm...
At that moment of space and time, I didn't care about our differences. For once in my life, I cried myself to sleep in Sanosuke's arms.
I suddenly woke up.
I was in my room, lying on my futon with the blanket up to my chin.
Sano.
I looked across the dark room and saw Sano's figure near the shoji doors. He had no futon, but he was sound asleep, his chest heaving gently as he breathed.
I couldn't help a wry smile as I realized that I was still in my doctor's smock. At least Sano had kept everything in a respectable distance.
His arms had been so comfortable and so strong...
I felt guilty of how I had enjoyed Sano's arms at the expense of little Suzu. But I didn't asked for it nor did I expect it. It came by itself, and I was more grateful.
I turned over, thinking. Sano had changed a lot since I last saw him. He was older, more mature, and he certainly surprised me with his cooperation during the long night. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he knew how to care, only I never gave him the chance to demonstrate it. Until now.
I squashed the thought. Who was I kidding? Sano could never love me. Not only was there a three-year gap between us, but he must think of me as awfully haughty and too "Kitsune" for him, boorish as he is.
I could only dare to dream. I was no longer in a state of denial. The last time I thought of Sano, getting hooked with him was a fate worse than death. Now I didn't seem to mind. It even sounded appealing.
Love? If this was love, it felt more like butterflies. But I'm not in a hurry to jump to that. This event made me see a softer side of Sano, but I still had to be practical. He may only had been shaken of the sight of a little girl dead. But still...
I cast another glance at his still figure.
Arigato.
The next morning, Sano and I brought the body to the Kawasaki family and told them what happened. Kawasaki Roku's face was white as sheet, Oka-san Rei wept outright, and Onii-san Yayoi locked herself in her room and wouldn't come out. I wished I could have worked faster on Suzu, but time was irreversible. There was nothing more I could do.
On the way home, I noticed that Sano was quieter than ever. He spoke only a few words in the Kawasaki's house, and as we walked, he never spoke at all.
Well, I still had to do what I had to do. As we neared home, I said, "Sanosuke, I never did thank you properly for staying up with me."
He nodded absentmindedly.
I tried again. "Daijoubo ka, Sano?"
This time he gave me a curious look. Then a quiet "Daijoubo, Megumi."
The suspense was killing me! Not only had Sano's tongue been tied the whole morning, but not once did he call me "Kitsune" or anything foxy! Something was wrong with him.
I stopped at my gate and he followed suit. I faced him squarely and said, "Something's up, Sano. And if you're still going to stay here, I want to know what it is."
"Then it won't be necessary," he said gruffly.
I was perplexed. "Just what do you mean by that?"
He shrugged nonchalantly and brought out a fishbone from his pocket and chewed it, much to my distaste. Then he said, "I saw the policeman who's been trailing me since I left Tokyo. He's here."
I felt uneasy.
"I'm going to have to leave now," said Sano quietly. "And I wanna thank you for a roof last night."
"Oh." I suddenly felt very unsure of myself.
Sanosuke looked at me expectantly.
"What?" I blurted, not liking the uncomfortable stare he was giving me.
He shrugged again and said, "Just 'specting you to jump for joy."
I had never been so indignant! "Baka!" I cried out, unable to restrain myself. "You might think me as cold and calculating, or...or a fox, but compared to you...?!" I paused, then, "I've never seen anyone so insensitive in my entire life!"
Sano looked surprised. He pocketed the fishbone and came closer to me, saying, "What are you talking about, onna? You're the one who didn't want me hanging around here."
I could feel all my hard-steel resolve to hate this man melt. I faltered."Yes, but after last night..."
He snorted. "Ah, last night. Don't go bringing that up now. You may be mad at me for being over-affectionate; well susimasen, it just didn't look right with you being weepy and stuff, but I'd like to say goodbye unscathed please."
It hurt. It really did. I felt the tears start to sting, but I blinked them away. I refused to be "weepy", if that was his outlook of me. I wanted to shout at him, shout at what a boor he is, tell him what kind of scumbag he is, scream into that stubborn rooster-head of his that I had never heard such hurtful words...
Instead, I put up very coldly, "Fine. Leave. I won't lay a finger on you. Go away and make it quick before I change my mind and beat you into a pulp for all I care." I turned to go through my gate, but he took my shoulder. Firmly but gently.
I couldn't help myself. I turned back to him, and he leaned over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. Then he turned his heels.
I fought a tremendous urge to rush to him and kiss him back as he walked away from me. All that came out was, "You'll come back...right?"
It was a great humbling of myself when I said that, but it was well worth it. Sano stopped in his tracks, and gave a half turn. I saw his lopsided grin as he said, "I'll be back, Kitsune. Next time, make sure you have an extra futon for me. I couldn't find any last night. Ja!" He winked and resumed walking away with his hands in his pockets.
I leaned on the gate and put my hand on the cheek he had kissed me. Sure, it was pretty short, and it was only on the cheek, but we could work on that someday later. (Oho, Kitsune, aren't your ears just dying to twitch!^^)
He would come back. I dare to dream.
P.S. The ending of this particular fic did NOT satisfy me, and for hardcore Sano-Megumi fans, I know it also didn't for them. I want to make a full-length, chapterized fic for Sano and Megumi, so I suppose you'll be seeing ol'e SwordSkill's name again beside a WAFFy S/M fic soon. (Must stop by Starbucks soon.^^)