PrueNapped
[It's a regular day at the Halliwell manor, only Prue is missing. Phoebe goes downstairs and finds a note by the door. She picks it up.]
PHOEBE:
I-If...y-you...Piper! Come read this!
[Piper comes over and takes the note from Phoebe.]
PIPER:
It's okay. Someday you'll be able to read.
[Piper looks at the paper and begins to read.]
PIPER:
If you ever want to see your sister again, you'll bring twenty-five dollars and a crumb cake to the old spooky mansion. Signed...oh my God-
PHOEBE:
God kidnapped Prue?
[Piper smacks Phoebe upside the head.]
PIPER:
No, come on. We've got to save Prue.
[They get ready then begin to walk down the street, Leo orbs in and joins them.]
PIPER:
Phoebe, stop playing in the street.
[Phoebe comes off the street and picks up a rock.]
PHOEBE:
Yummy.
[Phoebe goes to eat the rock, but Piper slaps it away from her. Leo gives them a look.]
PIPER:
She's blonde.
LEO:
Oh right. I forgot.
MEANWHILE, at the spooky mansion...
[Prue is tied to a chair so she can't escape.]
PRUE:
You'll never get away with this!
VOICE FROM A PERSON WE CAN'T SEE YET:
Oh, but we will.
ANOTHER VOICE THAT WE...YOU GET IT:
Torture.
PRUE:
No! No more torture! Please!
BACK ON THE STREET...
PIPER:
What the nuggets? Just orb us to the spooky mansion.
[Leo grumbles something, then orbs them to the spooky mansion.]
PHOEBE:
Ugly. They need that Christopher Lowell guy to come and redecorate.
PIPER:
Just please...don't speak.
LEO:
Go in.
PIPER:
You're coming.
LEO:
No, I'm not.
PIPER:
Yes, you are.
[They argue like this for half an hour, then Piper picks up a board and knocks Leo unconscious. She throws the board down and wipes her hands.]
PIPER:
Alright...drag him in.
[Phoebe whines, but ends up dragging him in anyway. They leave Leo by the door and walk upstairs. They hear dreadful noises...torturous noises.]
PIPER:
Shhhhhh.
[Piper busts the doors down, while covering her ears.]
PIPER:
Back off you mother truckers!!
PRUE:
Piper! You came!
PIPER:
Of course I did. You're my favorite sister.
PHOEBE:
Hey, wait a second...
VOICE THAT WE CAN'T...YOU KNOW THE DRILL:
Stop! Who goes there?
PIPER:
Listen tritch, I'm takin' Prue home and you can't stop me.
VOICE:
Kill them.
[Suddenly, five looming figures appear from the shadows and walk towards the sisters. Piper backs away looking horrified.]
PIPER:
It's worse then I thought.
PRUE:
Don't listen to them! They tried to break me, but I told them nothing!
[One of them, a curly haired one, jumped at Piper, but she froze him.]
PIPER:
Stop or I'll blow your boyfriend here to smithereens!
VOICE:
You're bluffing.
PIPER:
Oh am I?
[Piper lifts her hands.]
VOICE:
Stop! [Pause] Get the other one!
[One of the looming figures with spiky hair grabbed Phoebe.]
VOICE:
Ha!
PIPER:
Go ahead, kill her.
PHOEBE:
Uh...Piper!
PIPER:
Afraid to fight me yourself?
[The voice comes from the shadows and we see it is-]
PIPER(with gritted teeth):
Britney Spears.
BRITNEY:
Ha ha! Who else would it be? Nick Carter?
[The looming figures come into the light and we see they are-]
PHOEBE:
*Nsync!
[I'm really getting sick of them stealing my lines like that.]
JUSTIN:
You said you didn't have a thing for him.
BRITNEY:
We aren't getting into this right now.
JUSTIN:
But-
BRITNEY:
Just shut up! [Pause...Britney smiles evilly.] No...sing.
PRUE:
For the love of Shannen Doherty, who is a most refreshing actress, NOOOO!!!
[*Nsync begins to sing and Piper falls to her knees and begins to cry. She looks at Prue.]
PIPER:
I'm sorry Prue...
[Prue hops and turns her chair toward Piper.]
PRUE:
Don't you give up on me! You get up right now! You can do it!
[Piper closes her eyes then opens them and clenches her fists, then stands.]
PIPER(singing along):
It's tearin' up my heart!!!
BRITNEY:
She's enjoying it! Stop!
[Prue hops and turns her chair back to Britney.]
PRUE:
Take that!
[Britney snarls at Prue then turns to Piper.]
BRITNEY:
That's it! I'm bringing out the big guns!
PRUE:
She's gonna whip out her boobs!
[Prue topples herself over in the chair and closes her eyes very tightly. Britney sighs.]
BRITNEY:
No, I'm not taking out my boobs.
*NSYNC:
Awwww...
[Britney gives them a death glare and they slink back into the shadows.]
BRITNEY(singing):
Oops...I did it again!
[Piper falls to her knees again.]
PIPER:
Dear God, no!!!
PRUE:
Will somebody sit me up right please?
BRITNEY:
Quiet you!
PRUE:
That's it! You're goin' down!
[Prue scoots over to Britney and bites her ankle.]
BRITNEY:
Christ!!
PRUE:
Heh heh heh.
[Piper grabs Justin and puts him in a headlock.]
PIPER:
Oh Britney...look what I got.
BRITNEY:
Put that down...it's my toy!
[Meanwhile, Prue uses her power and flings Lance out the window.]
JOEY:
Holy Superman...how did that happen?
PRUE:
Like this!
[Prue uses her power and Britney falls on her...rump]
BRITNEY:
What the-
PHOEBE:
Don't bother...it only makes your head go owwie.
BRITNEY:
Oh my God! Another manufactured blonde! C'mere gurl!
[Phoebe prances over to Britney and they start to chat. Prue rolls her eyes.]
PIPER:
I hate to break up the blonde fest, but come on!
PRUE:
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SIT ME UP RIGHT??
[Chris scurried over and righted Prue.]
PRUE:
Thank you...now die!
[Prue flung Chris and he smacked into the wall, then Piper blew him up.]
BRITNEY:
So, do you like S Club 7?
PHOEBE:
Totally! Did you know that I'm a famous singer in-oof!
[Prue had flung a board at Phoebe and it hit her.]
PRUE:
Watch what you say!!
PHOEBE:
Right...sorry.
[Prue rolls her eyes and gestures with her head to Joey, Chris, and JC.]
PIPER:
Right.
[Piper gets up and starts to beat Joey with a snowglobe.]
JOEY:
Does anyone feel a draft?
PIPER:
Why...won't...you...die?
PRUE:
He's too think headed! Blow him up!
[Piper tried to blow Joey up, but she just froze him.]
PIPER:
I'll come back to you.
[Piper puts Justin back in a headlock and punches him in the face.]
BRITNEY:
Hey! Stop it! If you're not going to play nice with my toys, you can't play with them at all!
[Prue rolls her eyes and flings Britney into the wall. Piper continues pummeling Justin.]
PIPER:
Say uncle you son of a-
[Loud CRASH from...somewhere. Then we hear voices downstairs.]
VOICE:
Come on Scooby, this is the wrong spooky mansion.
ANOTHER VOICE:
Rokay.
[The voices disappear and Piper continues to pummel Justin and Prue throws Joey out the window.]
BRITNEY:
Stop! You're killing them all!
PRUE:
Uh...duh!
[Suddenly, Buffy crashes through one of the windows. She stakes JC then he turns to dust. Buffy lowers her head, then walks out of the room. Everyone is silent for a while.]
PRUE:
Uh...let's just forget that happened.
ALL OTHERS:
Yeah, okay.
[Piper knocks Justin out then uses her telekinesis to throw him up to the ceiling and keep him there.]
PHOEBE:
Since when do you have telekinesis?
PIPER:
Oh yeah.
[Justin falls and crashes through the floor.]
PIPER:
You can't get away that easy you little pucker!
[Piper jumps down the hole and we hear pummeling noises.]
PIPER(from the next floor down):
I didn't know you could vanquish boy band members...
[Piper uses her Matrix powers and jumps up from the hole. She stays in place for a few minutes while the room spins a little, then she lands.]
PIPER:
Hoo-ha!
PRUE:
SOMEBODY UNTIE ME!
[Piper and Phoebe are too busy to hear.]
PRUE:
Fudge y'all.
[Prue uses her power and unties herself.]
PRUE:
Come on, let's vanquish the little tut.
[The three sisters join hands and began to chant.]
SISTERS:
The Power of Three will set-
[Britney is engulfed in flames and vanquished.]
PHOEBE:
We didn't even get to finish!
STEPHANIE18:
Are you complaining?
PHOEBE:
No, no.
PRUE:
Let's go home.
[The sisters go home...dragging Leo behind them. But wait, is that a hand on the windowsill?? No...my vision is just going.]
THE END
Sorry to Britney and *Nsync fans. I just had to do it...
Sorry Frances, but I couldn't include the English. Maybe next time! lol
[It's a regular day at the Halliwell manor, only Prue is missing. Phoebe goes downstairs and finds a note by the door. She picks it up.]
PHOEBE:
I-If...y-you...Piper! Come read this!
[Piper comes over and takes the note from Phoebe.]
PIPER:
It's okay. Someday you'll be able to read.
[Piper looks at the paper and begins to read.]
PIPER:
If you ever want to see your sister again, you'll bring twenty-five dollars and a crumb cake to the old spooky mansion. Signed...oh my God-
PHOEBE:
God kidnapped Prue?
[Piper smacks Phoebe upside the head.]
PIPER:
No, come on. We've got to save Prue.
[They get ready then begin to walk down the street, Leo orbs in and joins them.]
PIPER:
Phoebe, stop playing in the street.
[Phoebe comes off the street and picks up a rock.]
PHOEBE:
Yummy.
[Phoebe goes to eat the rock, but Piper slaps it away from her. Leo gives them a look.]
PIPER:
She's blonde.
LEO:
Oh right. I forgot.
MEANWHILE, at the spooky mansion...
[Prue is tied to a chair so she can't escape.]
PRUE:
You'll never get away with this!
VOICE FROM A PERSON WE CAN'T SEE YET:
Oh, but we will.
ANOTHER VOICE THAT WE...YOU GET IT:
Torture.
PRUE:
No! No more torture! Please!
BACK ON THE STREET...
PIPER:
What the nuggets? Just orb us to the spooky mansion.
[Leo grumbles something, then orbs them to the spooky mansion.]
PHOEBE:
Ugly. They need that Christopher Lowell guy to come and redecorate.
PIPER:
Just please...don't speak.
LEO:
Go in.
PIPER:
You're coming.
LEO:
No, I'm not.
PIPER:
Yes, you are.
[They argue like this for half an hour, then Piper picks up a board and knocks Leo unconscious. She throws the board down and wipes her hands.]
PIPER:
Alright...drag him in.
[Phoebe whines, but ends up dragging him in anyway. They leave Leo by the door and walk upstairs. They hear dreadful noises...torturous noises.]
PIPER:
Shhhhhh.
[Piper busts the doors down, while covering her ears.]
PIPER:
Back off you mother truckers!!
PRUE:
Piper! You came!
PIPER:
Of course I did. You're my favorite sister.
PHOEBE:
Hey, wait a second...
VOICE THAT WE CAN'T...YOU KNOW THE DRILL:
Stop! Who goes there?
PIPER:
Listen tritch, I'm takin' Prue home and you can't stop me.
VOICE:
Kill them.
[Suddenly, five looming figures appear from the shadows and walk towards the sisters. Piper backs away looking horrified.]
PIPER:
It's worse then I thought.
PRUE:
Don't listen to them! They tried to break me, but I told them nothing!
[One of them, a curly haired one, jumped at Piper, but she froze him.]
PIPER:
Stop or I'll blow your boyfriend here to smithereens!
VOICE:
You're bluffing.
PIPER:
Oh am I?
[Piper lifts her hands.]
VOICE:
Stop! [Pause] Get the other one!
[One of the looming figures with spiky hair grabbed Phoebe.]
VOICE:
Ha!
PIPER:
Go ahead, kill her.
PHOEBE:
Uh...Piper!
PIPER:
Afraid to fight me yourself?
[The voice comes from the shadows and we see it is-]
PIPER(with gritted teeth):
Britney Spears.
BRITNEY:
Ha ha! Who else would it be? Nick Carter?
[The looming figures come into the light and we see they are-]
PHOEBE:
*Nsync!
[I'm really getting sick of them stealing my lines like that.]
JUSTIN:
You said you didn't have a thing for him.
BRITNEY:
We aren't getting into this right now.
JUSTIN:
But-
BRITNEY:
Just shut up! [Pause...Britney smiles evilly.] No...sing.
PRUE:
For the love of Shannen Doherty, who is a most refreshing actress, NOOOO!!!
[*Nsync begins to sing and Piper falls to her knees and begins to cry. She looks at Prue.]
PIPER:
I'm sorry Prue...
[Prue hops and turns her chair toward Piper.]
PRUE:
Don't you give up on me! You get up right now! You can do it!
[Piper closes her eyes then opens them and clenches her fists, then stands.]
PIPER(singing along):
It's tearin' up my heart!!!
BRITNEY:
She's enjoying it! Stop!
[Prue hops and turns her chair back to Britney.]
PRUE:
Take that!
[Britney snarls at Prue then turns to Piper.]
BRITNEY:
That's it! I'm bringing out the big guns!
PRUE:
She's gonna whip out her boobs!
[Prue topples herself over in the chair and closes her eyes very tightly. Britney sighs.]
BRITNEY:
No, I'm not taking out my boobs.
*NSYNC:
Awwww...
[Britney gives them a death glare and they slink back into the shadows.]
BRITNEY(singing):
Oops...I did it again!
[Piper falls to her knees again.]
PIPER:
Dear God, no!!!
PRUE:
Will somebody sit me up right please?
BRITNEY:
Quiet you!
PRUE:
That's it! You're goin' down!
[Prue scoots over to Britney and bites her ankle.]
BRITNEY:
Christ!!
PRUE:
Heh heh heh.
[Piper grabs Justin and puts him in a headlock.]
PIPER:
Oh Britney...look what I got.
BRITNEY:
Put that down...it's my toy!
[Meanwhile, Prue uses her power and flings Lance out the window.]
JOEY:
Holy Superman...how did that happen?
PRUE:
Like this!
[Prue uses her power and Britney falls on her...rump]
BRITNEY:
What the-
PHOEBE:
Don't bother...it only makes your head go owwie.
BRITNEY:
Oh my God! Another manufactured blonde! C'mere gurl!
[Phoebe prances over to Britney and they start to chat. Prue rolls her eyes.]
PIPER:
I hate to break up the blonde fest, but come on!
PRUE:
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SIT ME UP RIGHT??
[Chris scurried over and righted Prue.]
PRUE:
Thank you...now die!
[Prue flung Chris and he smacked into the wall, then Piper blew him up.]
BRITNEY:
So, do you like S Club 7?
PHOEBE:
Totally! Did you know that I'm a famous singer in-oof!
[Prue had flung a board at Phoebe and it hit her.]
PRUE:
Watch what you say!!
PHOEBE:
Right...sorry.
[Prue rolls her eyes and gestures with her head to Joey, Chris, and JC.]
PIPER:
Right.
[Piper gets up and starts to beat Joey with a snowglobe.]
JOEY:
Does anyone feel a draft?
PIPER:
Why...won't...you...die?
PRUE:
He's too think headed! Blow him up!
[Piper tried to blow Joey up, but she just froze him.]
PIPER:
I'll come back to you.
[Piper puts Justin back in a headlock and punches him in the face.]
BRITNEY:
Hey! Stop it! If you're not going to play nice with my toys, you can't play with them at all!
[Prue rolls her eyes and flings Britney into the wall. Piper continues pummeling Justin.]
PIPER:
Say uncle you son of a-
[Loud CRASH from...somewhere. Then we hear voices downstairs.]
VOICE:
Come on Scooby, this is the wrong spooky mansion.
ANOTHER VOICE:
Rokay.
[The voices disappear and Piper continues to pummel Justin and Prue throws Joey out the window.]
BRITNEY:
Stop! You're killing them all!
PRUE:
Uh...duh!
[Suddenly, Buffy crashes through one of the windows. She stakes JC then he turns to dust. Buffy lowers her head, then walks out of the room. Everyone is silent for a while.]
PRUE:
Uh...let's just forget that happened.
ALL OTHERS:
Yeah, okay.
[Piper knocks Justin out then uses her telekinesis to throw him up to the ceiling and keep him there.]
PHOEBE:
Since when do you have telekinesis?
PIPER:
Oh yeah.
[Justin falls and crashes through the floor.]
PIPER:
You can't get away that easy you little pucker!
[Piper jumps down the hole and we hear pummeling noises.]
PIPER(from the next floor down):
I didn't know you could vanquish boy band members...
[Piper uses her Matrix powers and jumps up from the hole. She stays in place for a few minutes while the room spins a little, then she lands.]
PIPER:
Hoo-ha!
PRUE:
SOMEBODY UNTIE ME!
[Piper and Phoebe are too busy to hear.]
PRUE:
Fudge y'all.
[Prue uses her power and unties herself.]
PRUE:
Come on, let's vanquish the little tut.
[The three sisters join hands and began to chant.]
SISTERS:
The Power of Three will set-
[Britney is engulfed in flames and vanquished.]
PHOEBE:
We didn't even get to finish!
STEPHANIE18:
Are you complaining?
PHOEBE:
No, no.
PRUE:
Let's go home.
[The sisters go home...dragging Leo behind them. But wait, is that a hand on the windowsill?? No...my vision is just going.]
THE END
Sorry to Britney and *Nsync fans. I just had to do it...
Sorry Frances, but I couldn't include the English. Maybe next time! lol