By: Kali Blade
Chapter Four- I'm Your Reason
"Stop, Inuyasha. She's gone."
Inuyasha looked into Miroku's eyes, unwilling to believe what the houshi claimed was true. His eyes…such sadness… "No," Inuyasha choked, shoving Miroku away from him. "She's not gone. I-I've killed many. I know what a dying human looks like! She does not look like she's dead." His words seemed so frail to his ears. Squeezing the tears out of his eyes, Inuyasha went on. "She looks like she's sleeping…" he whispered.
"Oi! I sent a signal out to Sesshoumaru and I'm pretty sure the carriage is on its way…" Shippo trailed off as he saw Kagome held tightly in Inuyasha's arms. "W-what's wrong?" Swallowing a lump in his throat, the young kitsune child took an unsure step. "Kagome's not-"
"SHUT UP!" Inuyasha shouted, grief coating his voice with thick anguish. "She's not dead. I can't believe how blind you two are. She's NOT dead, do you hear me? She's not." Hugging Kagome closer, Inuyasha smiled softly. "Come on, Kagome. Show them how stupid they are. Wake up." Patting her cheek gently, he valiantly fought off hopelessness only to find that he was losing. "Wake up, Kagome. Wake up. Wake up!"
Miroku couldn't stand to look. Inuyasha had many faces, he knew. Irritation, sadness, happiness, anger. Anger the most. But this face was so foreign on the young demon. It was a face of utter and total loss. Shippo was backed up against Miroku's knee, trembling with a rampage of emotions. Putting a hand on Shippo's shoulder, Miroku turned him around into his arms and held the child while he cried.
Oblivious to those around him, Inuyasha saw only Kagome's face and felt only her cold, clammy skin. His helpless pleas gave way to heated threats. "Wake up, you stupid girl! Open your eyes or I'll- I'll…" He was breaking down, his heart sinking lower. "Gods, I don't know. I don't know! Just please, Kagome, wake up!"
~*~*~*
Wake up… Somewhere, inside Kagome's fading mind, Inuyasha's frantic calls echoed. Kagome looked sadly out the window of her mind, seeing his grief stricken face, his glistening tears. "Inuyasha," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I want to come back but I'm just so tired…"
Unable to stand bearing his beautiful face marred by such sadness any longer, Kagome turned away from the window and followed the thread of light that seemed to beckon her. Suddenly, that thread of light exploded, leaving her blinded, unaware that she was being thrust into another world.
When she could see again, she found herself in a small grass swept clearing. A small, burbling creek ran a finger through the green land, splitting it apart from the other side. "Wh- where am I?" Her voice seemed hollow to her ears. "Am I dead already?"
A deep voice chuckled at her uncertain puzzlement. "No, child," it said. "You are at the crossing between life and death. You are now standing in life, but being so close to the River of Judgment, one would wonder if you truly want to live."
Whirling around, Kagome stifled a gasp as she came face to face with a man that resembled Inuyasha so much that it ached. He was older most definitely. His face was broader, authority and hard knowledge chiseled in every plane of his features. He did not have the dog ears that Inuyasha had but rather the pointed elf-like ears Sesshoumaru sported. His golden eyes flashed with intelligence and wisdom. "W-who are you?"
His lips lifted in a grin, his fanged teeth flashing. "So you are the one who has captured my son's heart, eh?" Dragging his gaze up and down her length, Kagome suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. "Such beauty and a gentle scent also." Sighing wistfully, he looked off into the distance. "You remind me greatly of my second wife."
Blinking, Kagome swallowed what he said and it clicked. "You're Inuyasha's father?" Blushing, she thought, Oh my, now I see where he gets his good looks from.
"Aa, child," he said. "And what a prize you are. Such a pity that he lost such a treasure just when he was beginning to confront his feelings."
Kagome's brow furrowed in a frown. "How do you know all these things? And what are you doing here? I thought you died a long time ago." She had long ago cast away all thoughts of respect and talked to him directly. After all, she was dead so it didn't matter if he lost his temper and tried to kill her.
As if reading her thoughts, he smiled softly. "I know a great many things, human child. Inuyasha was the child of the woman I love dearly and I had made a promise to her that I would see that he was well off. I have been watching over him and it grieves me to see him in such pain. I have crossed the River to guide you to the Other Side."
Eh? She thought, her mind whirling in a storm of uncertain thoughts. A youkai that has such strong feelings for others? Sugoi… "I-I do want to go back but I'm just so tired. And I think he would be better off without me. You see, I think you are mistaken. I am not the one he loves. It is the miko, Kikyou. It's better if I'm out of the way."
Gently, Inuyasha's father put a hand on Kagome's shoulder and guided her to the River. Pointing a clawed finger to the water, he said, "Look, child. Look there and remember what you have gone through in this life and think hard about what you want to do."
"Remember…?" she repeated as she turned her gaze to the crystal clear waters. For a moment, all she saw was her own puzzled face and then the waters churned and cleared once again to reveal…
Inuyasha's face was distant and cold. "Oi. Do you think you can pull this arrow out?"
Kagome looked at the feathered tipped stick of wood protruding from the dog demon's chest. "The arrow…?
The image changed.
"I was scared." Inuyasha confessed. "When I thought you were going to die…I was scared."
It was just a small flash of a memory before changing again. Flash after flash.
Reaching up, Kagome's fingers barely touched the arrow before Kaede called out a warning. "Iie! You must not pull out the arrow! That is the spell which binds him. You must not set him free!"
Flash.
"Nani?!?" Kagome asked, the disbelief obvious in her voice. "I thought you said you hated my scent."
Eyes closed, Inuyasha turned his head slightly on her lap and said, "That was…a lie…"
Flash.
Inuyasha growled. "Do you want to die here with me, girl?" he asked when Kagome recoiled from the arrow at the snap of Kaede's words.
Flash.
His golden eyes flashed. "You were worried…about me?"
Flash.
Kagome's eyes hardened with a new determination. Iie, she thought. I will not die here. Not in this stinking hell! "IIE!!" she cried as she yanked out the arrow, thus granting Inuyasha life again.
Flash.
~*~*~*
Inuyasha's ears perked when he thought her heard a familiar voice echo in his head. Shaking his head, he shook Kagome's lifeless body. "Please," he moaned. Suddenly, he laughed. It was a sickly, panicked laugh. "I know. I know. She just needs some air but she can't do it herself so I'll have to give her some of mine. I-I just have to get her breathing again and she'll be all better."
Lowering his mouth to hers, Inuyasha filled Kagome's lungs with air and pushed down on her chest three times. "C'mon, Kagome. C'mon!" Sucking in a breath, Inuyasha did it again, this time with a panicked rush that made his hands tremble. Again and again. Air in, air out. The limpness of her body seemed to mock his efforts.
~*~*~*
Kagome still could not see anything but the images of her life but she could hear Inuyasha's father's sad voice inside her head. "Do you see? You had chosen life then. Are you so certain you want to choose death now? Think of what you have to live for. Your family, your friends…Inuyasha. So, what will it be, child? Life or death?"
Kagome couldn't seem to work her throat. Life or death?
~*~*~*
Breaking down, Inuyasha halfheartedly let his fist fall on Kagome's chest. "Please, wake up." Lifting his hand, Inuyasha brought it down with more force. "Come back." This time, Inuyasha did not hold back his strength, his grief chasing away all reason. Thump. "Come back." Thump. "Come back!"
Kagome was blinded by that same flash of light and she found herself back at the window. "Remember your own words those many months ago. Life or death?" his voice caressed her mind and then faded away, leaving her alone.
She saw Inuyasha pounding on her chest. Thump. Thump. Stepping back in surprise, she brought her hand to her heart. Thump. Thump. It was beating. Life… "Inuyasha," she whispered, lifting a knee out of the window. "I promise you… I will not die here."
I will not die here… Her words echoed through his mind. Still mercilessly pounding on Kagome's chest, Inuyasha felt disappointed and betrayed that she would go back on her word like this. "You said you wouldn't die," he sobbed. "You liar!"
"No, Inuyasha," Kagome said, knowing he could not hear her until she rejoined her body. "I'm coming back." Sparing a single glance back to that window, she said, "I choose…"
"Come," he shouted. And with one last strike, Inuyasha screamed, "BACK!"
Life. Kagome's eyes snapped open and she gasped, taking in air. The pain in her chest brought tears to her eyes and yet they were not totally tears of physical pain. They were tears of happiness and something she felt deep in her heart as Inuyasha stared at her face.
Crushing her to him, Inuyasha cried. "Oh gods. Gods, I thought I lost you…"
Still gasping for air, Kagome said, "Gomen…Inuyasha… I came…back…" Miroku and Shippo were frozen, stunned that Inuyasha had managed to literally beat the life back into her.
"KAGOME!!" Shippo screamed, flying to her side. Unable to utter anything but her name, the kitsune buried his face into her shirt and wailed. Miroku only smiled and sighed greatly in relief.
"Inuyasha," Kagome said softly. "I-"
"Shut up," he choked. Hugging her tighter to him, he was afraid to let her go lest she slip away from him again. "Just be quiet, you stupid girl, and let me hold you."
Smiling, Kagome let herself fall into his warmth. "Inuyasha…"
~*~*~*
"Oneechan?"
"Shh, Rin. She's sleeping. Why don't you go play with Jaken and I'll call you as soon as she wakes up."
Looking at Kagome's pale face with eyes filled with concern, Rin nodded and quietly slipped out of the room. Inuyasha turned back to her and felt a sharp tug at his heart. Sighing, he thought It's happening all over again. Why did I have to go and fall for a girl like you, Kagome?
As if hearing his thoughts, she stirred a little in her sleep. Twisting her head towards him, she smiled at something she was dreaming and settled down again. Inuyasha instinctively reached over to smooth the hair out of her face but stopped short. Look at what happens to anyone you get close to, the sneering voice in his mind said. Does she really deserve such torture?
Inuyasha pulled his hand back. Looking at her face longingly, he made his decision and left the room.
~*~*~*
Kagome's lids fluttered and opened as she emerged from her subconscious filled with warm and fuzzy dreams. A lick of fear flickered in her throat when she saw her surroundings: the fine furniture, the fragile pieces of art. She heard footsteps outside the door and suddenly found herself struggling to breathe. Backing up against her pillows, she waited, trembling in trepidation.
When the door opened, she nearly sobbed in relief. Miroku… only Miroku… "Oh Gods," she heaved. "It's only you."
Anger, hot and blinding, flashed through his eyes and quickly died. He had seen the desperate fear in her eyes before she slumped forward, the tenseness of her body, the broken despair of her voice. Clenching a fist, Miroku tried to calm himself for her sake. "There, now," he said soothingly. "You're safe here. Don't worry about a thing, Kagome-sama."
Taking three deep breaths, Kagome crammed all her fear down and looked up at her friend. She tried not the edge toward him when he sat down next to her on the bed. "W-where are we?"
Her valiant struggles not to lean into him for support ignited another explosion of anger in his gut but something else blossomed underneath that. An admiration, a kind of warmth he had not felt in the years of his travels. Pushing those unexpected feelings into a corner of his mind, Miroku turned his attention to the question at hand. "We're in Sesshoumaru's castle." He held up a hand to stop her from interrupting. "Inuyasha came to him to ask for help and he obliged because of Rin-chan."
It took a little time for Kagome to swallow that. One: Inuyasha went to Sesshoumaru for help and two: Sesshoumaru actually agreed. Blinking, Kagome let out a whoosh of air. "Wow. Where's-"
She was cut off by Rin, who came in carrying Shippo. Their eyes lit up as they saw Kagome sitting up against her pillows. "Kagome!" Shippo shouted as he leapt out of Rin's arms into Kagome's. "I'm so glad you're alright!" he wailed.
Kagome hugged the fox demon kit tightly. "Daijobu, Shippo." Looking over at her side, sitting next to Miroku, was Rin, quietly waiting for her attention. "Rin-chan!" Putting an arm around the child, she said, "How are you?"
Smiling prettily, Rin said, "I'm good, Oneechan but I was worried about you! Jaken-sama said some pretty mean things but don't worry! I kicked him into the pond for you!"
Kagome laughed. "Arigatou, Rin-chan!" Looking on this scene Miroku felt something tug at his soul. A woman and the children. What a fetching picture they made. Miroku sighed. "Ano…minna, where's Inuyasha?"
Hearing this question, Shippo burst into a fresh bout of tears. "Gomen nasai, Kagome! I tried to stop him but I couldn't!"
Kagome felt a black snake slide around her heart and squeeze. Fighting back tears, she said, "What happened?"
"H-he said," Shippo sniffled. "That he was going away." Hushing his tone, Shippo whispered, "And that he's never coming back."
~*~*~* To be continued….
Baka Inuyasha! He ran away! What's Kagome gonna do about this? And what is Miroku gonna do about these new feelings of his?
Next up! Chapter Five- In One Hour, In One Eternity
~*~*~*
Well, seems like things are getting really interesting. I know that the insertion of Inuyasha's dad was really random but it adds to the flavor of the story, don't you think? Anyways, I hope to get Five up soon so check back again, minna! Ja! Oh, and reviews please!!!