Dear Journal,
It has
been a week since I have completely lost my memory. The woman that goes by the name Mel has showed me around Costa
del Sol very well and I can almost call this place home. The man that goes by the name Cloud has
still been very to himself and he says that he doesn't want to discuss anything
until he is certain I can't remember on my own. He says he doesn't want me to "turn on him." I suppose I can give him credit about that,
but it still worries me that he is sulking around the bar. I guess only time can tell.
Chapter 2: Only Time
Cloud sat on the old sofa in the den, mindlessly watching the flames eat the wood in the fireplace that held the fire captive. This was the only place where he found comfort and security any more. His whole world fell apart the day when he had to say good-bye to his love. Not only did it destroy him, but also it left him scared, alone, and broken. He had been afraid to love ever since then for he may lose it again, and be left in a world of emptiness.
Why is the world so cruel? Cloud questioned himself as he continuously stared into the sparking flames. His hands began to sweat and he clutched them within themselves cracking his knuckles.
Cloud,
why can't you just tell me about my past? I feel so lost; my whole world has fallen apart, Elena thought as
she quietly and carefully placed her feet on the stairs to insure that she made
no sound as she descended. Why is
the world so cruel?
After reaching the bottom of the steps, Elena placed her eyes upon the almost lifeless form sitting on the couch. Cloud was sure that he heard her enter the room, but his own instincts had been failing him making him ignore whatever had intruded on him. Elena continued to look at him with worried and confused eyes, hoping that he would notice her sometime.
Fear began to run through her body as thoughts of men with knives and guns began to enter her head. The man's empty eyes of hatred and lust to pain people shot through her memory. Her mind came back to the real world forbidding her to take any more of those memories into her grasp.
She hadn't noticed the small gasp she had let out and had caught Cloud's attention. He sat backwards on the couch observing every move that she was making.
"What are you doing down here?" Cloud asked harshly.
"I…I needed to talk to you," Elena stuttered, frightened from the tone of his voice.
"About what?" Cloud turned away from her and made himself more comfortable on the couch so he could gaze into the heart of the fire.
"I want to know more about myself. I'm not going to wait around for you to decide it for me because I would like to get on with my life, unlike you."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Cloud darted his eyes back towards her, obviously offended.
"Look, I don't know what went on with you and that Tifa girl," Elena began to talk while walking around to the couch to sit next to him. "But you have obviously let that take your life away. I've only been here for a week, I have no clue about you, and I can still tell that you're shattered and broken."
Cloud's expression was hard and he refused to look at Elena, mostly because she had hit his weak spot. Nobody ever talked about him or Tifa like that nor did anybody seem to care, although the only reason why Elena was speaking of her was to find out the truth about her past. Cloud continued to stare into the depths of the fire hoping to find an answer for himself.
"Cloud, don't ignore me. You can't even imagine how scared I am rig-"
"Don't even start talking to me about scared!" Cloud stood up abruptly to finish his brief speech. "I have lost the one thing in my life that has made my life worth living. You know, I wish I could forget about it all. Right now the truth is too much for you to handle."
"Wish you could forget it? Why on Earth would you want to do something like that? I would give anything to know who I am, and where I come from. You don't know what you're talking about. It's so scary waking up in the middle of nowhere and realizing that there isn't anything there for you. No past, no future, no present." Elena looked up and tried to search for any type of expression to form on Cloud's face.
"Elena, you didn't have to watch the person that you love most in the world die in your arms because you couldn't do anything to help her. I felt so helpless and weak then because I knew that no power in the world could save her. It also happened to a dear friend of mine once before, but it was different with Tifa."
"So she had died," Elena said almost in a whisper. She held her head lower and took her eyes of Cloud and focused on the ground to avoid the pain across Cloud's face. He stayed silent for a few moments and walked over to the fireplace where he placed his hand on the mantel to lean his body weight on.
"Yes, she did. I think it was about two years ago, but I have never bothered to keep track. Anyways…"
Cloud slumped on the bar seat like he had done so for the past few weeks. It was the same routine for him everyday, get up, find some day job, go to Tifa's bar, and finally go to bed. He still hadn't the gull enough to confess his true feelings towards her, but he was slowly working up his composure.
"Hey
Cloud," the cheery voice greeted him like it had done so many times
before. Cloud smiled towards her and
gave a small wave with his massive hand. A shot glass sat before him full to the brim of some kind of alcoholic
beverage that he didn't even remember what it was not saying that he even
cared.
"Being
the strong silent type today?" Tifa asked as she walked over to him while
drying a glass. She set the glass down
in front of him, hard enough to make noise, but soft enough to not break the
glass.
"What's
on your mind?" Tifa questioned him trying to start a conversation.
"Uh…nothing. Just sitting here like usual," Cloud
stammered but quickly regained his cool attitude that the whole world knew.
"That's
the thing. You've been coming to my bar
every night for the past two months now. It's just strange to see Cloud Strife sitting around getting drunk
instead of risking his neck for a little pocket money."
"Oh, I'm
still doing that. Just not as often,"
Cloud replied to lighten up the mood. Tifa laughed in her normal cheery tone that could brighten up anybody's
day. The two soon ended up in a long
conversation starting from the day they had to the strange people they have met
and even the strange and mysterious colors of the sunset that seems to lure in
and calm the soul.
The
small clock in the bar struck two when Cloud finally realized what time it had
come to be. He said his good nights and
took her hand and gave it a soft kiss on the back before getting out of his
seat. He continued his way over to the
door when he felt a sharp pain stab through his side. A horrified scream filled the room as Cloud grasped onto his side
to try and ease the pain and stop the blood.
"Tifa!"
he cried out and turned back towards the bar table. Blood covered the counter and a knife was left, stained with the
same blood that covered the counter. He
stumbled over to the counter and found Tifa laying on the floor with her hand
cover her chest area to try and hide the wounds that were too visible for any
being to hide.
"God
Tifa," Cloud exclaimed and jumped over to the side of the counter where she was
laying. He knelt down to her and
propped her head up to help her breathing.
"Cloud…"
she spat out between her involuntary coughs.
"Tifa,
you can't leave me now. I need you, so
badly," Cloud confessed not even noticing the tears that began to streak down
his face.
"Please
don't cry…I…don't want you to be sad. I…can see Aeris again…" Tifa cringed in pain, although her life was
slowly slipping away, she wished that it wouldn't hold on so she could end her
misery.
"No…I
can't let you go Tifa. I love
you." Cloud's words brought tears to
Tifa's eyes. All her life she had been
waiting for those words, and she hated to hear them now when she wasn't going
to ever see him again.
"Cloud,
I love you…so much…but…you're…going to have to…let go," her dying words were
soft and almost breathless. Her rising
chest slowed down to a stop when her soul slipped away from her body, leaving
the world forever. Cloud was at a loss
of words. Her body hung limp in his
arms, leaving him to face the cruel world alone.
"Why…why?"
Cloud continued to ask himself as he rocked back in forth holding Tifa closer
to him than he had ever before. His
voice became raspy and broken as his heart and soul poured out of his tears and
out of his body. For the first time in
his life, he felt scared, lost, and alone.
"It's strange. You're the first person that I've been able to talk about that with," Cloud said quietly, still looking into the flame in the fireplace that had now died down a great deal.
"I'm so sorry," Elena apologized, not knowing what else to say. "I know, there are memories in life that you could live without, but at least you have some. It's one thing to have a broken heart and shattered soul, but to not know who you are; it scares the hell out of me."
Cloud shifted his gaze from the fire over to where Elena was sitting. Her cheeks were shiny and wet from crying; also her eyes were red and puffy. She had her legs squeezed tightly together with her arms wrapped around them, as if trying to make herself as small as possible.
"Give it some time, and then I will tell you. Right now, you're not emotionally capable of knowing the truth. It would scare you too much," Cloud explained calmly while still looking at her. Elena simply nodded in agreement before standing up and making her way out of the den and back up to the room where she was staying. Her journal lied on the bed stand with a small piece of paper marking the place where she had left off. The delicately crafted pen rested easily next to it, just waiting to be used. Elena didn't hesitate to begin writing away in her journal about the information that she had just received.
Date: Some time in April still, though I believe it's near the end. I will have the exact date figured out sometime.
Dear Journal,
For some reason, Cloud is really
opening up to me. He hasn't told me
anything of my past yet, but he has told me about Tifa, his love that died
tragically a few years ago. I hope to
never have to tell a tale like that to anybody, although I have no tales to
tell at this moment.
Although I should be thinking
more of myself, I still can't get my mind off Cloud. The harshness in his voice has lessened, just as his
coldness. Perhaps during this new
journey of mine, I can help Cloud move on with his life instead of holding on.
Author's Note: All right! Now I'm on a roll. Chapter 2 baby! Anyways, this chapter is kind of boring, but it does explain about what happened to Tifa *sob* but that's what this chapter was really for. Don't worry all you hard core Turks' fans, Reno and Rude will be making their entrance soon…mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!