Author note: Phi takes a tentative step into the world of yaoi. You all be damned afraid. Now.
This started off as part of my "Getting over writer's block" program (so reviews would help me know if I'm out of my slump yet) but then I realised it was an interesting idea. I've never done yaoi before, and I don't know if I'll do it again. Whatever the fans want *grin* Admittedly, there isn't much in the way of yaoi in this, but hey. You have to start somewhere, eh? Mind you, I never really wrote for Leo before. Wow. This really is a firsts fic, eh? *grin* I might do Kefka's point of view later, but I'm not sure...
I don't own the boys. Unfortunately. Don't sue.
Cookies to those who review. Stinky used nappies to those who don't.
Enjoy!
General Leo let out a deep sigh as he walked slowly through the darkened camp just outside of Doma. He took a moment to look up at the bright, twinkling stars above him. They were always so peaceful; unaware of the chaos that reigned in the world below them. He envied the stars sometimes. They would just sit in the dark blackness of space and watch; never getting involved. He, on the other hand, always had to get involved. He felt as if there was too much hanging on his shoulders; far more responsibility than he had ever wished for. But how could he escape from the burden that had been forced on him? He was a General in the Imperial army. Thousands of soldiers looked up to him to be the voice of calm in the midst of the chaos that reigned. They depended on him when all was lost. But who was he able to depend on?
He walked slowly through the mud to his own tent, making sure that the troops on guard were alright. Some of these kids would gladly freeze to death in the name of the Empire, and never complain about it. He could understand the loyalty, but he could not understand why someone would want to throw away their life needlessly. You only had one life. Why waste it? He would not allow the soldiers to cast away their one chance at existance, no matter how much they wanted to.
He reached his own tent and paused; flicking his eyes over the scenery around him. All was dark and quiet except for the occasional flicker of flame from a candle, or a quiet conversation between two guards. Above him was the void of space, and all around him was a void of existance. He shook his head, making ready to enter his own tent.
But he never got that far.
'Is it so early that the mama's boy has to go to bed now?' a voice said from somewhere behind him. Leo would have spun around in surprise, but he knew that voice; all too well.
'The attack is tomorrow, Kefka,' he started, not bothering to turn around just yet. 'Everyone needs their rest,' Kefka snorted.
'Excuses, excuses... I thought you would have a better response than that...' Leo shook his head, and finally decided to turn around; slowly. It was bad enough knowing that Kefka had crept up behind him without him realising. He didn't want the mage to know that he was a little shaken.
He was surprised not to see Kefka stood right behind him. In fact, he couldn't see him at all. His eyes darted around in the darkness, searching for the other man. Finally, he caught sight of his silhouette; stood inbetween the rows of tents. He tightened his jaw. Kefka was not the easiest person to talk to; he never had been. Even before the infusion, he had been so cryptic.
'Did you actually want something, Kefka, or are you just out to disturb the troops?' Even in the darkness, he could just see the smirk grow on Kefka's face. He always smiled; even in the most inappropriate situations. Leo was sort of glad for the darkness that seperated them. It meant he could not see Kefka's intense blue eyes, piercing through him as he stared. They almost scared him.
'Well, I was just out to disturb the troops, but now that you're here, I guess I can disturb you instead,' Kefka said, not hiding the glee in his voice as he stepped forwards. Leo clenched his jaw a little tighter. Kefka's appearance was enough to startle him, but in the dim moonlight, it was truly disconcerting. The heavy cloak and brightly coloured clothes were not the problem. The way the dull light highlighted Kefka's pale face; the way his eyes shone out from the pale nothingness around him. Leo swallowed. Now was not the time to show fear.
'I have better things to do,' he said, turning back and making ready to enter his tent; leaving the mage behind him. But he was stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
'Leaving so soon?' Kefka said; his tone suddenly softer - as if he hadn't expected Leo to withdraw so suddenly. Leo paused under the weight of that hand for just a moment. Years ago he might have succumbed to the gentle tone Kefka was using. But not now.
'Yes,' he replied; almost a whisper as he shrugged off Kefka's hand and walked quickly into the confines of his tent.
He got three steps into his tent and paused; just staring at the floor. A long forgotton part of himself told him to turn back and go out there. It wasn't often that Kefka softened in front of other people. Only Leo knew that side of him, and he wasn't too sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
He waited; listening intently for footsteps. Kefka wouldn't stand out there all night, would he? Eventually, he would get bored and would disappear off to his own tent. The footsteps did not appear, and Leo had a disturbing mental image of Kefka remaining out there all night, ready to jump him as he left in the morning.
'That's stupid, Leo and you know it,' he said outloud as he moved a few steps closer to the lone bunk in the middle of the tent. He sat down and tried not to look up the way he had just come. This was the last thing he needed. He didn't want the past to go rearing it's head again. Why had Kefka even come to Doma? Didn't Gestahl trust him to handle this alone?
Leo let out a low growl and lay back on the bunk, forcing his eyes closed. He would go to sleep now. He needed his rest for the attack on Doma tomorrow. He would not let the past haunt him.
'Damn you, Kefka,' he muttered, draping an arm over his eyes. 'Why did you have to make me remember?'
It was not long before he drifted off to sleep. Usually his nights were dreamless and cold. But not tonight. Tonight his sleep was full of the dreams that had plagued him long ago; of the past that he had long tried to forget. Back when he had been young and brash. Before all this responsibility had reduced him to worrying so much about those who cared so little about their own lives. Before Kefka had changed so much.
~#~#~#~#~
It was dark and cold, even though he was deep inside the Magitek research facility. After evading the scientists and guards, Leo had managed to sneak in this far. He knew Kefka was in here somewhere, and he knew that this was the worst possible time for him to be alone.
He crept through the silent passages, being careful not to alert anyone to his presence. And finally, he found him; stood in one of the observation rooms. He was stood in front of the glass panels, leaning his forehead against it; eyes closed but so distressed. Leo almost couldn't bear to see him like that.
'Are you alright?' he said softly. Kefka looked up and locked eyes with him. Only a moment passed, but to Leo it felt like an age. There was so much emotion in his friend's gaze; pain, anger, sorrow, fear.
'I...' Kefka started, suddenly breaking the locked stare and looking down at the floor. 'I...' Leo started to walk slowly towards him. He could almost feel Kefka's pain. Ever since they had heard that he would be the first - the first person to be infused with magic for a thousand years - Kefka had retreated into a shadow of his former self. Leo couldn't bear to see him like that. He used to be so confident and joyous. But now, to see him like this. It hurt. It hurt deep down, bringing up all the feelings that Leo had tried so hard to ignore. He had known Kefka since they were both children. He loved him as a brother... No, more than that. And now there was a chance that he would die tomorrow. It was almost too much to bear.
He finally bridged the gap between them, and stood there for a few seconds longer; watching as Kefka stared at the floor. He placed one hand on Kefka's shoulder and tried to smile reassuringly as the younger man looked up; his deep blue eyes still so full of fear. Those eyes always threatened to swallow Leo; to drown him. He had always loved those eyes, though he hadn't realised that fact until recently.
Kefka continued to look up at Leo; his brow furrowed slightly into an anguished expression. Leo could see that there was so much he wanted to say, and yet the words evaded him. His lips moved, but no sound came out. Eventually, Kefka swallowed deeply, and let out a small sigh.
'I'm scared...' he whispered; the anguish crumpling into a troubled moan. That did it. Those two words filled Leo with a sadness he had not felt in a long time, and as tears began to stream down the younger man's face, Leo stepped forwards to wrap his arms around him. It was a silent embrace, but so full of emotion. Leo suddenly realised how frail Kefka was while enveloped in his arms. So young, and afraid. It was almost as if he was relying on Leo to protect him from the horrors that could attack.
And Leo had failed.
They remained like that for an eternity; Leo tightening his grip as he felt Kefka's sobs wracking his body. He couldn't help but let a tear run down his face as he realised that there was nothing he could do to help. He wanted to stop Kefka's fear, but they were both powerless in this. He commanded armies, but he was unable to stop a mere injection from taking his friend away. How cruel could fate be?
'I'm so scared, Leo...' Kefka whispered again, trying to hold back the tears. Leo closed his eyes; swallowing the pain. He knew Kefka was scared, because he was scared too. He had never been so scared in his life, and he knew that his fear was nothing compared to what Kefka was going through.
'It'll be alright...' he said softly, though he knew he couldn't even convince himself of that. There was a good chance that Kefka could die tomorrow; that the one person he had ever come close to loving might be ripped away from him.
And there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing...
~#~#~#~#~
Leo awoke with a start; opening his eyes and almost expecting to see the darkened features of the observation room. But it was just his tent. He was alone in his tent, just outside of Doma; hundreds of miles away from the research facility. It had all been just a dream; a faint memory of the painful past.
He sat up slowly, and let out a deep sigh. There was no point staying in bed. He wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight, as the pain that he had so carefully buried deep sown in his soul reared up. The thought still hit him sometimes; when he was at his loneliest. He wasn't able to stop it. He wasn't able to save Kefka from the event that had changed him so much. And he still blamed himself.
He stood up, stretching slightly and felt something run down the left side of his face. He frowned and wiped his cheek.
It was a single tear; shed for the love he had lost.
This started off as part of my "Getting over writer's block" program (so reviews would help me know if I'm out of my slump yet) but then I realised it was an interesting idea. I've never done yaoi before, and I don't know if I'll do it again. Whatever the fans want *grin* Admittedly, there isn't much in the way of yaoi in this, but hey. You have to start somewhere, eh? Mind you, I never really wrote for Leo before. Wow. This really is a firsts fic, eh? *grin* I might do Kefka's point of view later, but I'm not sure...
I don't own the boys. Unfortunately. Don't sue.
Cookies to those who review. Stinky used nappies to those who don't.
Enjoy!
General Leo let out a deep sigh as he walked slowly through the darkened camp just outside of Doma. He took a moment to look up at the bright, twinkling stars above him. They were always so peaceful; unaware of the chaos that reigned in the world below them. He envied the stars sometimes. They would just sit in the dark blackness of space and watch; never getting involved. He, on the other hand, always had to get involved. He felt as if there was too much hanging on his shoulders; far more responsibility than he had ever wished for. But how could he escape from the burden that had been forced on him? He was a General in the Imperial army. Thousands of soldiers looked up to him to be the voice of calm in the midst of the chaos that reigned. They depended on him when all was lost. But who was he able to depend on?
He walked slowly through the mud to his own tent, making sure that the troops on guard were alright. Some of these kids would gladly freeze to death in the name of the Empire, and never complain about it. He could understand the loyalty, but he could not understand why someone would want to throw away their life needlessly. You only had one life. Why waste it? He would not allow the soldiers to cast away their one chance at existance, no matter how much they wanted to.
He reached his own tent and paused; flicking his eyes over the scenery around him. All was dark and quiet except for the occasional flicker of flame from a candle, or a quiet conversation between two guards. Above him was the void of space, and all around him was a void of existance. He shook his head, making ready to enter his own tent.
But he never got that far.
'Is it so early that the mama's boy has to go to bed now?' a voice said from somewhere behind him. Leo would have spun around in surprise, but he knew that voice; all too well.
'The attack is tomorrow, Kefka,' he started, not bothering to turn around just yet. 'Everyone needs their rest,' Kefka snorted.
'Excuses, excuses... I thought you would have a better response than that...' Leo shook his head, and finally decided to turn around; slowly. It was bad enough knowing that Kefka had crept up behind him without him realising. He didn't want the mage to know that he was a little shaken.
He was surprised not to see Kefka stood right behind him. In fact, he couldn't see him at all. His eyes darted around in the darkness, searching for the other man. Finally, he caught sight of his silhouette; stood inbetween the rows of tents. He tightened his jaw. Kefka was not the easiest person to talk to; he never had been. Even before the infusion, he had been so cryptic.
'Did you actually want something, Kefka, or are you just out to disturb the troops?' Even in the darkness, he could just see the smirk grow on Kefka's face. He always smiled; even in the most inappropriate situations. Leo was sort of glad for the darkness that seperated them. It meant he could not see Kefka's intense blue eyes, piercing through him as he stared. They almost scared him.
'Well, I was just out to disturb the troops, but now that you're here, I guess I can disturb you instead,' Kefka said, not hiding the glee in his voice as he stepped forwards. Leo clenched his jaw a little tighter. Kefka's appearance was enough to startle him, but in the dim moonlight, it was truly disconcerting. The heavy cloak and brightly coloured clothes were not the problem. The way the dull light highlighted Kefka's pale face; the way his eyes shone out from the pale nothingness around him. Leo swallowed. Now was not the time to show fear.
'I have better things to do,' he said, turning back and making ready to enter his tent; leaving the mage behind him. But he was stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
'Leaving so soon?' Kefka said; his tone suddenly softer - as if he hadn't expected Leo to withdraw so suddenly. Leo paused under the weight of that hand for just a moment. Years ago he might have succumbed to the gentle tone Kefka was using. But not now.
'Yes,' he replied; almost a whisper as he shrugged off Kefka's hand and walked quickly into the confines of his tent.
He got three steps into his tent and paused; just staring at the floor. A long forgotton part of himself told him to turn back and go out there. It wasn't often that Kefka softened in front of other people. Only Leo knew that side of him, and he wasn't too sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
He waited; listening intently for footsteps. Kefka wouldn't stand out there all night, would he? Eventually, he would get bored and would disappear off to his own tent. The footsteps did not appear, and Leo had a disturbing mental image of Kefka remaining out there all night, ready to jump him as he left in the morning.
'That's stupid, Leo and you know it,' he said outloud as he moved a few steps closer to the lone bunk in the middle of the tent. He sat down and tried not to look up the way he had just come. This was the last thing he needed. He didn't want the past to go rearing it's head again. Why had Kefka even come to Doma? Didn't Gestahl trust him to handle this alone?
Leo let out a low growl and lay back on the bunk, forcing his eyes closed. He would go to sleep now. He needed his rest for the attack on Doma tomorrow. He would not let the past haunt him.
'Damn you, Kefka,' he muttered, draping an arm over his eyes. 'Why did you have to make me remember?'
It was not long before he drifted off to sleep. Usually his nights were dreamless and cold. But not tonight. Tonight his sleep was full of the dreams that had plagued him long ago; of the past that he had long tried to forget. Back when he had been young and brash. Before all this responsibility had reduced him to worrying so much about those who cared so little about their own lives. Before Kefka had changed so much.
~#~#~#~#~
It was dark and cold, even though he was deep inside the Magitek research facility. After evading the scientists and guards, Leo had managed to sneak in this far. He knew Kefka was in here somewhere, and he knew that this was the worst possible time for him to be alone.
He crept through the silent passages, being careful not to alert anyone to his presence. And finally, he found him; stood in one of the observation rooms. He was stood in front of the glass panels, leaning his forehead against it; eyes closed but so distressed. Leo almost couldn't bear to see him like that.
'Are you alright?' he said softly. Kefka looked up and locked eyes with him. Only a moment passed, but to Leo it felt like an age. There was so much emotion in his friend's gaze; pain, anger, sorrow, fear.
'I...' Kefka started, suddenly breaking the locked stare and looking down at the floor. 'I...' Leo started to walk slowly towards him. He could almost feel Kefka's pain. Ever since they had heard that he would be the first - the first person to be infused with magic for a thousand years - Kefka had retreated into a shadow of his former self. Leo couldn't bear to see him like that. He used to be so confident and joyous. But now, to see him like this. It hurt. It hurt deep down, bringing up all the feelings that Leo had tried so hard to ignore. He had known Kefka since they were both children. He loved him as a brother... No, more than that. And now there was a chance that he would die tomorrow. It was almost too much to bear.
He finally bridged the gap between them, and stood there for a few seconds longer; watching as Kefka stared at the floor. He placed one hand on Kefka's shoulder and tried to smile reassuringly as the younger man looked up; his deep blue eyes still so full of fear. Those eyes always threatened to swallow Leo; to drown him. He had always loved those eyes, though he hadn't realised that fact until recently.
Kefka continued to look up at Leo; his brow furrowed slightly into an anguished expression. Leo could see that there was so much he wanted to say, and yet the words evaded him. His lips moved, but no sound came out. Eventually, Kefka swallowed deeply, and let out a small sigh.
'I'm scared...' he whispered; the anguish crumpling into a troubled moan. That did it. Those two words filled Leo with a sadness he had not felt in a long time, and as tears began to stream down the younger man's face, Leo stepped forwards to wrap his arms around him. It was a silent embrace, but so full of emotion. Leo suddenly realised how frail Kefka was while enveloped in his arms. So young, and afraid. It was almost as if he was relying on Leo to protect him from the horrors that could attack.
And Leo had failed.
They remained like that for an eternity; Leo tightening his grip as he felt Kefka's sobs wracking his body. He couldn't help but let a tear run down his face as he realised that there was nothing he could do to help. He wanted to stop Kefka's fear, but they were both powerless in this. He commanded armies, but he was unable to stop a mere injection from taking his friend away. How cruel could fate be?
'I'm so scared, Leo...' Kefka whispered again, trying to hold back the tears. Leo closed his eyes; swallowing the pain. He knew Kefka was scared, because he was scared too. He had never been so scared in his life, and he knew that his fear was nothing compared to what Kefka was going through.
'It'll be alright...' he said softly, though he knew he couldn't even convince himself of that. There was a good chance that Kefka could die tomorrow; that the one person he had ever come close to loving might be ripped away from him.
And there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing...
~#~#~#~#~
Leo awoke with a start; opening his eyes and almost expecting to see the darkened features of the observation room. But it was just his tent. He was alone in his tent, just outside of Doma; hundreds of miles away from the research facility. It had all been just a dream; a faint memory of the painful past.
He sat up slowly, and let out a deep sigh. There was no point staying in bed. He wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight, as the pain that he had so carefully buried deep sown in his soul reared up. The thought still hit him sometimes; when he was at his loneliest. He wasn't able to stop it. He wasn't able to save Kefka from the event that had changed him so much. And he still blamed himself.
He stood up, stretching slightly and felt something run down the left side of his face. He frowned and wiped his cheek.
It was a single tear; shed for the love he had lost.