Disclaimer: Calvin & Hobbes *alter
egos are Waterson's and the syndicates, not mine, yadda yadda yadda
Narrator: Spiff flew through the bleak darkness of the
cold impersonal space…
Spiff: You're certainly cheery. And ain't I supposed to narrate?
Narrator: I have to fulfill a contract. Take it up with
the producers.
Spiff: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get on with it.
Narrator: just then, a Draconian laser beam hit our hero.
He shot out a few times at the war ship, before he crashed on the uninhabitable
surface below, with no sentient life forms.
Spiff: It's D.C., for one thing. It's habitable. And how
come I always get shot down when I wash and wax this thing? Huh? Why's that?
Narrator: The rouge ship is destroyed by the tazer satellite
defense system. The message center flashes on Spiff's computer.
Spiff: I wonder who it is.
Narrator: Answer it then.
Spiff: My agent's gonna get it. Let's see. Powerful laser
system… Regonian Empire… need crystal…
on Venus… needs help… with Love, President Hilary S.
Narrator: Love? Maybe it's time for her to resign…
Spiff: Wanna take it outside? It seems the Regonian Empire
has built a new laser weapon. They need a special crystal on Venus that will
make it invincible. The…
Narrator: Why does it make it invincible?
Spiff: Size, color, shape, clarity, the only known frozen
light beam in it…
Narrator: Frozen light beam?
Spiff: I ain't no post-Einsteinium physicist. Ask one of them.
It seems that president
Sloan wants me to help.
Narrator: Spiff hails a cab. A thieve robot tries to take his
cab and his wallet. Spiff calmly zaps him with his beam set on 'kill'.
Spiff: 'Frappe', actually.
Narrator: Whatever. The cab flies to the White House.
Spiff enters.
VP: Miss President!
Spaceman Spiff is here!
Spiff: Hello, Miss Derkins.
President: Thank God you're here, Spiff. Come follow me. The
rest of the squad I assembled is in there.
Spiff: You mean I gotta work with other people?
-To
be continued-
