Angelic Voice
By Hachi Mitsu
08.26.00 ~ 09.03.00
Phase Two
The breeze still blows about,
Carrying your voice far above,
The chaotic world burning beneath.
Confusion, hatred, anger, seethe.
But only your words still remains clear
Only you, I still can hear
Above all other noise
I still can hear your
Angelic voice.
I rubbed my arms as the handcuffs were removed. After
having them encased in those happy metal things for god knows how long, I've
reached the conclusion that circulation is indeed *very* important. Yeah. Learn
something new, *every*day. How's *that* for education? And I'm not even in
class. [1]
With a
silent sigh, I shifted my position on the couch where the zombies from hell had
dumped me, before leaving. After trying to communicate with them through
Nihongo, English and sign language for the past eternity or so, I've finally
decided that further attempt at humanly communication is just a waste of time.
Drawing
my rope of hair- no longer worthy of being called a braid- over my shoulder, I
attempted to pull it back into a somewhat decent manner. I slooooowly ran my
fingers through the silky tresses, peeking through the strands as I continued
in my futile attempt at looking human again. The room was actually pretty cool.
It seemed like some sort of library. The walls were covered with shelves and
shelves of leather-bound books. Pale light seeped through the stain glass
windows, casting beautiful patterns over the cream colored carpet.
Standing,
I strolled over towards a shelf, glancing halfheartedly at the various titles.
Halfheartedly, because its *soooooooo* hard to indulge yourself in reading
ancient junk when the only thing with a firm stay in your mind is the thought
that any minute now, the guards might return with my last meal, and then it's
off to execution. Aren't I optimistic. I pulled a slightly newer book out of
the shelf.
"Oi!"
I leapt
forwards just in time to catch the leaves of paper that flew out of the book.
Okay. I *really* hope that I didn't just desecrate anything important. I don't
need another smudge on *my* slate. As of right now, I've got enough to
redecorate the entire inner wall of the cavernous hole in the wall, also known
as the cafeteria, back in school. And I *don't* mean that in a good way.
"hm...?"
plopping down on the couch again, I flipped through the paper. It was mostly
dates.
1975-1985 AD... 1985- 1995...
1995- 2005(?)...
I skipped down the list, all the
way to the last dates.
180AC- n/a. _ORI ended 185 AC_
They looked
like birth/death dates. But that can't be right. First of all, they were way to
exact. 10 years each. Second of all, 10 years? Why would they all die off after
exactly 10 years of life? Something about this whole thing just really didn't
hit it off right. Especially that last date. 185AC. It tugged on something in
my mind that *shouldn't* be tugged on.
"What are
you doing?"
I
literally jumped out of the chair, landing –thankfully- on my feet. Quickly I
stuffed the papers back into the book, and then stuffed the *book* back into
the shelf. Oooookay! No one saw that.
I peek
from behind the veil of chestnut brown locks that still curtained my face,
reaching down past my waist like a golden brown waterfall. Obviously blinded by
my hair, I could only make out the vague shape of a ... person... standing by
the door. At least I think it was a person. I brushed back my hair, tucking it
behind my eyes. Okay. I like hiding, but being able to see is just a *bit* more
important. Especially when it comes to dodging bullets. Warily, I eyed the
handgun, which was all to visible now- tucked at the guy's waist. Right.
"Mmm...
nothing." My eyes were still locked on the gun. I tried to convince myself that
the only reason I did that was because if he did plan on target practice, I'd
realize *before* I get first price in the national Swiss cheese contest. But
something told me it was more. Like a little voice telling me not to look *up*,
cause if I did, my entire world will come crashing *down*. And as far as I'm concerned,
I can't get any lower without hitting the doors to hell.
"What's
wrong?"
My life
has hit rock bottom. I'm probably about to die soon. And the guy asks me
'what's wrong'. I shifted my gaze to the silver chain around my wrist, playing
with the rose that still adorn it. Ok, the gun was getting kinda boring.
I shook
my head. feeling the slick strands of my hair slide against the thin cloth of
my dress shirt. For some reason, it struck me as *wrong* to have to die in my
school uniform. I sighed. "why would anything be wrong"
I heard a
sigh echo mine. Okay, so the sarcasm in my voice wasn't as discreet as it
should have been. So shoot me. It's not like the story was going to end any
differently. I am completely and utterly convinced that I'm going to die. So
they might as well get it over with. It's not like I'm looking forward to
returning to school after missing, what 2 days of school, with *no* excuse
notes. Life is hell. Well, mine is in any case.
"Duo..."
Ok, I *swear*
that I can literally *hear* voices that were *screaming* at me not to look up.
So... I looked up. So sue me if I don't trust 'little voices in my head'.
"iya..."
It was
him. Standing in under the beam of the sun. The light hitting his hair just so
that it brought out a rich golden highlight. Like a halo. I froze. No, I'm
hallucinating. And this is a pretty bad time to hallucinate, not that there
ever IS a good time to hallucinate, mind you. But as of right now, I'm
*praying* that this is just an illusion. Why, you might inquire. Well, for one
thing, I *recognize* him. It was him! I remembered back to all those dreams. It
was him. Then that time, at the abandoned clubhouse. It was *him*! But the
thing was, he's not suppose to be *real*. People conjured by a messed up brain
and an overdose of sake aren't suppose to just walk up to you and *talk* like
they're real.
"Duo...
don't you recognize me?"
No, no,
no, no... I wasn't really sure what I was saying no to, but if I repeat it
enough, maybe a miracle will drop out of the sky and everything will be alright
again. I buried my face in my hands, hiding under cascading brown waves. I
giggled, my voice a bit too high pitched. Ok, remind me to check 'sanity' on
the list of things I've lost in the past 24 hours.
"Hm? What
are you talking about?" I felt another giggle slip from my lips as he grabbed
my shoulders giving me a hard shake. Putting down my hands, I gave him a long
hard look. Hey it aint *every*day that you get to meet your very own hallucination.
Then it stuck me, I've seen him somewhere else too. Weird girl. Endless
rambling. Oh my god! The picture. I let out another giggle. This one just a tad
over the borderline.
"You're
Heero!"
Backing
away almost in horror, I bit down on my lips. Ok, having hysterics is *not*
helping. He looked just as shocked as I probably did. Which struck me as really
weird and scary, even though I wasn't sure why.
Something
was wrong here. He's not suppose to be here! I clutch the side of my head with
my hands, fingers tangling in the loose hair. Something was really not right.
"Duo, I-"
"STAY
AWAY!" Stay away. Stayawaystayawaystayawaystayaway. It repeated itself over and
over again in my mind, like some twisted mantra, until I realized that I wasn't
saying it out loud anymore. And then, it came back to me. The blood. The scent
of death in the air. The feeling of the warm coppery liquid covering my hands.
Heero. Heero was dying. Quatre, Trowa, Wufei... Heero
I felt
tears slid down my cheeks. Warm, like blood. Salty on my lips and tongue. I
wasn't in the warm library anymore. I was on the floor of the cold dance floor,
covered in blood. Covered in my blood, and in the blood of friends I had
killed. All I could feel was my arms wrapped around an all too cold body.
"Iya...
IYA!"
"Duo!
Snap out of it!"
Suddenly
I realized that I was back in the present. Warm arms hugging me close as I
sobbed. I was safe. I tried to convince myself that what had happened was over.
It didn't matter that the person who was suppose to have died was holding me in
his arms. It doesn't matter that any minute now, I'll wake up, back at the
cell, with my memory back, but no Heero. I just wanted to stay here for as long
as I can.
"Heero, don't
leave. Don't ever leave again!" I murmured, not loosening my death grip oh
Heero. No way I'm losing him again. Nope. You'd have to pry him outa my dead
arms in order to get him.
"Alright."
I almost felt sorry for him.
Just for a second. With me here, acting like a three year old, he must be going
through hell. But what can I say? It's his fault for dying. Reluctantly, I
pulled away, still sniffling. "Honto ni?"
He smiled, which surprised the
heck outa me. "Hai. Ima, daijobu ka?"[2]
"Yeah. I guess." I turned away
from him, walking towards the couch again, still unable to take in all this.
Later, I'll ask him all the questions that flooded my mind. Later. Right now, I
just wanted to forget all my problems. Absentmindedly, I gathered my hair over my
shoulder again. Then winced. "Iya! My hair's a mess!" Ok, at least now I have
something else to occupy my mind.
I heard Heero chuckling softly.
Walking over to where I sat, mourning over my loss, he ruffled my hair. "Baka"
Throwing him a glare, I swatted
his hand away. *MY* hair. Glancing up again, I was surprised to see a serious
expression fall over his features again. "What's wrong?"
"Duo, I-" He started, but then
hesitated. "Iya, nothing. Come on, we have to get you out of here. There'll be
time to talk later."
Tilting my head to one side, I
gave him a bewildered look. I'd say it was half way between, 'what the hell did
you get me into this time' and flat out 'no'. *Don't* ask. "What do you mean?"
Suddenly, I heard footsteps
running, shouting coming from the hall, on the other side of the thick wooden
door.
"He must be here!"
Heero
glanced towards the door with a slight frown. "They caught on faster than I
thought..." Without further hesitation, he ran towards the window, pushing it
open. "Come on Duo!"
"Wait,
but what about Andre? Shouldn't we help him too?"
Heero
gave me a weird look. "What are you talking about? Hurry up! We don't have time
to deal with your delusions."
I glared at
time. But then, with a final glance to the door, hearing the sound of fists
pounding against the other side, I rushed towards Heero. Gomen Andre. I'll help
you out, I prom-
For some
reason, I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence.
***
I laid
back on the fluffy pillow, half asleep. I've currently listed a grand total of
231 ways to kill myself, a new record for me. So why, might you ask, that I'm
fantasizing about death? Well, for one thing, being back in school with Heero
is bringing back some unwanted memories. More than I can handle. I frowned at
the air above me, momentary wondering if I had actually expected for the
featureless ceiling to respond.
And beside, there was a
reeeaaally big test in history tomorrow.
I sighed,
sitting up. Apparently, my death wish wasn't going to come crashing down on me,
in any sense or form. I glanced around, barely making out the features of the
stylishly designed room through the dark. Actually, if it weren't for the sulky
mood I was in, I might have appreciate how *nice* our room was. There was a
balcony leading from the main room, over looking some nice greenery and a
pretty scene of the creek. The rest of the indoor decor was also a lot more
than you would expect from a boarding school. Smooth wooden desks, and real
couches, decorated, for the first time known to history, in *non* clashing
colors.
Strolling to nowhere in
particular, I ended up beside the balcony. Leaning against the wooden panel of
the glass door, I shut my eyes, feeling the breeze flow past me. For a second,
I wondered where Heero was. He was probably still in library studying, or maybe
out gathering information on our current dilemma. Then I found myself wondering
why I even cared. Besides, Heero doesn't need *my* help. And even if, by some
chance equaled to the possibility that I'm still sane, he *does* need my help,
he sure the hell wouldn't take it.
I sighed with utter frustration,
walking away from the balcony, it was late autumn and it was already dark out.
Tucking my handgun into the back waistband of my jeans, I grabbed a jacket,
stuffing some extra cartridge into its pockets. There was no way I was going to
sit here, rotting away. For a moment, my mind flickered over the fact that
Heero *did* demand that I didn't leave campus without telling him first.
But... I reasoned with myself, I
didn't exactly promise him. I smirked, heading for the door. A nice long walk
will clear my mind.
***
I had NO
idea where I'm going. Glancing around the wooded area, I made on last futile attempt
to conjure some supernatural power that might lead me back home. No luck there.
Ok, I'll settle for a phone booth. But all I saw was tons and tons of those
devilish oaks and pines. For a second, I lingered at the possibility that this
might be hell taken over by environmentalists. Arbor day, here we come.
I drew my
arms around myself, feeling a slight tremor run through me. The heavy mist,
which had settled in, was so thick that I could hardly see the ground. Which
ISN'T good considering the fact that the only way I would be able to find my
way home- in broad DAY light- is if a miracle came dropping out of the sky.
Halfheartedly, I glanced up through the thick blankets of whiteness. Nope, no
hope there.
I glanced around again, the
mists dancing between the bare branches of the trees. Um... I shouldn't
worried, right? I mean, what's the worst thing that can happen? Be chased down
by some misty-creature and never be found again? Nah. Heero would probably
realize I'm gone and come look for me...
Wait a minute. Get eaten by
misty-creature... face a pissed off Heero. Eaten... pissed off Heero. I was
starting to lean towards the 'eaten' idea.
Suddenly, my foot caught on some
hard root, causing to me pitch forward. Then, a moment before my face was about
to have an intimate moment with the hard soil, I saw a figure standing between
two trees.
"Duo, you should be more
careful."
Scrambling to an upright
position, I pulled out my handgun, aiming it for the figure.
"Yeah, and unless you want an
extra hole in your damn head, I suggest you be, too." Ok, I think I have a
RIGHT to be cranky. Especially since I've been wandering around the happy woods
all night long, and just had my face dipped in muddy dirt.
Then something struck me.
"Andre?!"
Blink. Blink.
I couldn't see any distinct
feature about the figure, but even if I could, it wouldn't have mattered. I
heard a familiar soft chuckle come from his direction. "But... How in the world
did you escape?!" The last time I remembered seeing- or rather talking to- him
was back in the cell.
"They left the door unguarded
during the commotion you caused. It was easy from there on." Wait, how did he
know about me escaping? Before I could put my confusion into a question, he
continued with a certain urgency in his voice that demanded to be heard. Note
to self- learning that little trick might come in handy the next time I have to
inform Heero of some life threatening issue. "Duo, I have to tell you what I
didn't get a chance to say the last time we met. You have to find the whole
story."
I tucked the gun away, giving
him a confused look. "What do you mean?" I started to walk towards him, but the
mist thickened. I paused, leaning against a tree. I felt lightheaded. "Haven't
you already told me the entire story? Back in the cell?"
I think he shook his head. But
it was hard to tell. "Duo, I never got a chance to find out everything. *You*
have to." I felt my knees weaken. Mentally I kicked myself, wondering why I was
getting so dizzy. I pushed back against the trunk, trying to stay upright.
"Duo, this area has a secret. If you can find it, you might have a chance."
Andre gestured around him.
"Secret?" Andre turned away
without answering. Shaking my head to get rid of the cloudy feeling, I pushed
away from the tree, trying to catch up with him. "Andre?" the mist clung to me.
I felt like I was suffocating even though, technically it should be impossible
for air to hold that much moisture without turning into rain.
"Duo, you have to finish what I
never got a chance to." Andre finally stopped, giving me a final glance. "Duo,
there are things that you need to know. Things that I can't tell you, that no
one can. No one but yourself."
I wanted to growl. I was *not*
in the mood for any mystical shit. I just wanted to know what's going on.
"Andre..." I couldn't walk anymore. Slowly, I sank onto the ground, clutching
at the damp grass.
"You owe it to your friends. You
owe it to me. And even if none of that matters to you. At least know that you
owe your*self* an explanation."
I couldn't see him anymore.
Then, I realize that I couldn't see *any*thing anymore.
"Duo..."
Duo...
***
Duo...
The soft
voice echoed through my mind.
Duo...
Something
soft brushed against my face. Raising my hands, I tried batting it away with
annoying disturbance.
"DUO!!"
Suddenly,
I jerked myself into an up right position on what I presumed to be my bed...
unfortunately finding myself staring into the eyes of a VERY pissed off Heero.
I found myself slooooowly edging back, laughing nervously. "Oh... hi Heero."
"Hn."
Heero pressed the back of his hand against my forehead. "Are you alright?"
I pushed
his head away, giving him a weird look with a side of another nervous chuckle.
"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" Something was nagging in the back of my
mind, but I pushed it away.
It was
Heero's turn to give me a weird look. Well, he doesn't actually look any
different than any other time, but hell, I'll use my imagination. "Then explain
why you were out cold, when I found you in the middle of the woods?"
Huh?
Then, with the abruptness of being hit by a truck going top speed, I remembered
what had happened. Determined not to let Heero know about my sudden... er...
memory loss, I pasted my best 'I'm innocent, so please spare me' smile on my
face. "Oh, it was just the fog... I must have gotten lost or something."
Not
waiting for a reply, I slid out of the bed, entwining my fingers behind my
head, trying to look casual. Key word being 'trying'. I sighed silently to
myself, wondering what god I had pissed off *this* time.
Then
Heero said something that totally took away the whole casual approach.
"What
fog?"
"Huh?" I
peeked towards the open balcony, the night air was crisp and clear. The stars
shone through the cloudless sky.
I rushed
towards it, my mind in disbelieve. How did it get so clear all of a sudden? I
leaned against the wooden frame, not sure what to expect. Maybe that whole
scene was a dream.
"What are
you thinking about?"
I
startled at a light touch on my shoulders, until I saw Heero's reflection on
the glass. I sighed silently. There's no reason why I should be this... well
*tense*. I mean, there's probably a reasonable explanation. Heero gave me
another weird look; at least I think he did, 'cause I was still observing all
his action through my hazy makeshift mirror, the glass door.
"I- I
don't know." I shrugged, giving him a slight wink in an attempt to lighten the
mood. Something else was pushing itself into my mind. It bothered me- ok, more
like *scared* me- at times that I'm starting to become so *open*. Especially
around Heero. It's like someone is trying to break out of me, to make me
realize that there's more to me, than I let on. I gave me head a slight shake,
then whispered softly, not sure if I meant my words to be heard. "Things have
gotten so messed up lately, ne?"
I get the
feeling that Heero wanted to ask me. Ask me what had happened. But, well,
*something* is apparently stopping him. I felt sorta guilty for making him
worry, that is if he actually did worry about me. But then again, there were
still a lot of questions I wanted to ask him. Questions that I HAVE asked, but
never got an answer for.
Like why he was alive.
I closed
my eyes, giving my head a small shake. "Maybe after all the fighting's over.
Things will clear up then, right?"
"After
the war is over..." The low murmur brought me back to reality. Suddenly, the
hand on my shoulder lifted. It left me feeling strangely empty and cold.
I felt a
small mirthless smile dance on my lips. "After the war? The way things are
right now, I'd be damn lucky to get back *into* the war alive."
"Duo..."
I went
on, ignoring him. For some reason, I suddenly had the urge to get rid of all
this frustration that's been building up. I wanted to rant on and on, to tell
him what was happening to our lives, as if I was the only one that can see it.
"It's just going to go on and on. It's not going to end. Dammit, it's never
going to end!"
I paused, trying to breath. I
wasn't sure if I knew what I was talking about anymore. The war? The confusion?
Or my worthless life.
My face felt hot. And my heart
sounded like continuous shots fired into the night sky. Even if we *do* get out
of this mess alive, we'd have to go back to the war. Fighting again, with the
constant reminder that *they're* not here anymore- I still couldn't bring
myself to say their names. It's never going to end. It's never going to end.
Suddenly, a realization wash over me, soothing me. "But, you know what? Maybe I
don't *want* it to end."
I felt
Heero stiffen behind me, like he was startled by the sudden calmness in my
voice. I finally turned around, clasping the front of his shirt in my hands.
"Heero, what are we without the war? Without fighting? We're nothing."
"Duo..."
I shook my head, no Heero. This time *you're* wrong.
"No!
Listen to me. Can you imagine us, when the war is over? Heero, we're soldiers,
we weren't *meant* to live in anything but war. When the *war* ends *we* end!"
Something
was tugging in my mind again. Pulling at every word that escaped my lips. I
pushed it away, trying to convince myself that I was talking about the war, and
nothing more. I tightened my fists. Heero was literally trying to shake some
senses into me. Which technically should be hard to ignore, considering his
strength. But... my mind seemed to over load.
"DUO!"
I felt fist come in contact with
my right cheek. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, hugging my knees to
my chest. My eyes were squeezed shut, but I couldn't feel any tears. "Duo, stop
doing this to yourself." I felt warm arms encircle me, but my heart was numb
with cold.
There was silence, unbearable
silence that beckoned for me to bring up the final question.
"Heero...
what will happen to us?"
By then,
I knew that I wasn't just talking about the war anymore. There was more to it
all.
Silence took over the room
again. My eyes were locked on the wall over Heero's shoulders. I didn't want to
look at him and see the lost look that must veil his eyes. Heero, who was
suppose to know everything. What will happen to me Heero? What will happen to
*us*? Tell me. I need to know. I know I wasn't speaking out loud, but for a
while, it didn't matter so much. I was content with the silence, rather than
his words, which will confirm my fears.
"Wakarimasen.
I don't know Duo."
***
I glared at Heero's back as the evil
creation, known as his laptop, glowed with amazing similarity to the devil's
eyes. I sighed when it became apparent that glaring wasn't gonna get me
anywhere. Slowly, I shifted my position on the bed where I was attempting to
study. Key word being 'attempting' because so far, the labor of the past 2
hours or so, added up to a grand total of 2 sentences in the essay about
Shakespeare I was suppose to write.
Groaning
with absolute frustration, I buried my nose in the textbook, trying to drill
some of the stuff into my brain. Which, needless to say, wasn't working. Me and
ancient plays don't get along very well.
"Heeeeeeerooooo!"
I
flinched when I realized that I sounded extremely similar to a certain blonde
leach, but then dismissed it. But, hey, my sanity is a lot more urgent than any
excuse Relena could come up with whenever she screamed for Heero.
After
realizing that I wasn't about to get an answer, I finally dug myself out of my
little nest of textbooks, pillows and potato chip bags, and walked towards the
baka.
"Heeeee-chan!!"
I swear,
I could *see* his anger rise from his head in the ominous form of red smoke.
And like any other sanity-deprived person would do, I draped my arms over his
shoulders, peeking at the computer screen. "Whacha doing? Heero, I'm bored!"
"Duo, get
off of me."
I backed
away with a sniff. "Ch' somebody's grouchy today."
He didn't
even stop typing. I really feel like choking him, which would be something to
do, right? But then again, knowing Heero, which I actually don't very well,
he'd probably stop typing long enough to put a few holes in my head, and then
go right back to whatever he's doing. But at least I won't be bored anymore.
No, you'd be dead. A little voice reasoned inside my head. Sigh.
Walking
towards our closet- well, it's actually mine. I dunno where Heero keeps his
clothes, but I think that he decided long ago that it ain't worth the fight to
try to squeeze in his stuff into the tiny closets after I hang in my 100 and 1
different outfits- I paused in front of the door. Reaching in I grabbed my
jacket, the one with the gun and extra magazines already stored in its extra
large pockets.
Hn, I can
tell when I'm not wanted, and there was no way in hell I was staying here
another second. I didn't have the self-control to keep from bothering Heero. And
we all know what that means. The janitor's gonna start finding patches of blood
everywhere. And when a decapitated head, MY head, shows up under the sink,
well... so much for that.
I turned
around, heading towards the door, when I found myself blocked by the great
Heero Yuy himself. "Move it." Well, I figured if *he's* gonna act like some
jerk, well, two can play that game. I glared.
"Where do
you think you're going?"
This
*really* pisses me off. He's acting like I'm gonna answer to him like I'm some
sorta... kid! "I'm going to meet a study group for the test tomorrow."
Heero
raised an eyebrow, a small smirk played on his lips. Well, glad *some*one's
amused. "Its 12 at night, and the Duo Maxwell I know would never go out at such
a time to... study. Besides, you have a gun in your pockets." He said,
observing the lines made by my handgun with the conclusion that only Mr.
Perfect Soldier would be able to come to.
"Heero,
for once, can you just mind your own business?"
He
scowled. Kinda reminding me of a pissed off wolf... or maybe not. So shoot me.
"Duo, I don't want you running off with all that been happen-"
"All
*what*?!? Heero you haven't told me a single damn thing. And you expect me to
*understand*?!" I don't know why I was suddenly getting all hot and bothered.
But it was true, Heero never explained a single damn thing.
"Duo..."
He sighed, sounding for all the world like a little lost kid. Something that I
*never* want Heero to sound like. It just seemed so... *wrong*.
I nearly
shoved him aside as I rushed towards the door with the strength I never knew I
had. Slamming the wooden door behind me, I *stalked* towards the elevator,
ready to glare any unfortunate by-passers to death. I was really sick of all
these daily face-offs with Heero. He was the only person I have left, and
frankly, I was terrified of losing him... again.
I sighed,
rubbing my temples as I leaned against the wall inside the elevator. When is
this going to end?
+++++
I
chuckled silently to myself as I slid through the open window. If nothing else,
the fact that I'm willingly sneaking into the library was enough to set me off
for days.
I looked
around, it was... er... dark. The only thing that saved me from having one huge
nervous breakdown was the fact that the tall bookshelves created little closed
off spaces. I hated being out in the open when I can't see. It's always better
to have something around me, to hide behind.
I sighed
not sure of what I was doing here. When I was little, I always loved reading.
It was a secret passion that died along with the Maxwell Church. After I lost
everyone, I realized that life was complex enough without all those extras.
Slowly I ran my hands over the books. Some were old, bound in rich brown
leather, while others were new, sleek plastic-like covers with bright colors
that were dulled by the lack of light.
Slowly I
rested my gaze upon the book, on which my hand still laid. It was an older one.
Turning my head slightly to the side, I attempted to read the letters carved into
the dark leather.
Squint.
Squint.
I pulled
the book out with a hard tug. Screw the title. As desperate as I am, there's no
way I was going to spent the entire night trying to make out the title.
Dragging
the, surprisingly, heavy book towards the table lit by the moonlight, I pulled
open the cover.
"Nani?"
The pages
were worn, but still in good condition. But that wasn't what surprised me. The
entire page was filled with rectangular grids of pictures. I flipped through
the book, all pictures. Some sorta album?
I sighed.
Just my luck to stumble upon some sorta ancient photo collection. I flipped to
the front again. Oh well, might as well take a look. Maybe I'll even get a few
laughs outa it.
I swept
my eyes over the dull looking pictures until suddenly a sense of almost horror
washed over me. The book in my hands clattered to the table, the sound echoing
through the empty library.
The
pictures... they were, the same. Every single person looked almost exactly
alike! I picked up the book again. Maybe it was just the light.
No... I
studied each 2 by 3 rectangular picture. Same short dark brown hair, dark brown
eyes. Every face a replica of the one before. Almost franticly, I turned to the
cover. I need something, an explanation, something, maybe telling me its just
some freakish accident, a mess-up. When I finally got my wits together to read
the title, again, it only confused me even more.
Contingent
3.
Completion
of stage one.
It was some sorta record book. I
flipped through the book again. Something, *any*thing! Shinigami, I'm NOT ready
to lose what's left of my poor excuse for a mind yet.
Reaching the end of the 'book' I
came across a page labeled 'elite stage'. Heh. I laughed with sorta a nervous
relief. This outa be a change from the mono-faced groupie from hell. At least
the people looked different. They were all boys, really young, maybe 4 or 5 as
opposed the people on the other page that looked more of my age. On one page,
there was a boy that looked a lot like Quat- I caught myself. After all this
time, I still can't bring myself to say their names.
I sighed, squinting at the
picture. Hey, it *did* look a *lot* like what the blonde might have when he was
little. The only thing that labeled the photo was "ES-180-04".
ES-180.
There was something about the
feeling those words letters and numbers gave off that triggered part of my
memory. I couldn't quite place it.
Giving my head a little shake, I
flipped the page again. Once more I was struck with surprise. There it was
again. Two this time. They looked like... like Trowa and Wufei. There I paused,
my breathing a bit ragged even though I was just sitting there the entire time.
ES-180-03
ES-180-05
In a sudden rush, I flipped the
page with sense of urgency. I think that part of my freaked-out mind *knew*
what I was going to find. But... another one, probably the *conscious* part,
refused to believe it.
And then I saw it... promptly
freezing from shock and terror. What can I say? I probably deserved it. I can
here a little voice snicker. Yeah. Once again, glad someone's amused.
Now, what, might you ask, can
possibly cause the god of death to be literally frozen in shock? And we're
talking about mid December icicles here. Well, other than another picture, this
time of Heero, I- for the first time- saw a photo of what I probably looked
like at the age of 5.
Now, I've *never* seen such a
young picture of myself. Logic says, if you're starving off the streets, the
last thing that cross your mind is trading the next month worth of dinner for a
camera. Right.
Besides, I would never imagine
it would look like this. Yeah, I know that it's hard, being an orphan and
stuff, but I've always made a point about smiling and acting cheerful. A
permanent mask, of my soul.
The boy in the picture scowled
at me so much that it'd probably fit Heero's face a lot better. And in his
eyes, underneath the dull purple jewels, all I could see was blankness. Almost
like he was trapped inside his own body. An empty body that has lost its soul,
or maybe never had one to begin with.
Sold his soul to the devil.
I fingered the cross around my
neck. Suddenly, I was overcome by the same sensation as the first time when I
met Andre, that sense of familiarness. The feeling... of being... lost
Lost and alone...
Alone...
And empty...
I almost didn't hear the sound
of the book hit the smooth wooden ground. It sounded almost deafening, yet at
the same time, muted. Like a muffled bell. It was unbearable. But then,
everything got darker, as if the lonely library wasn't dark enough already.
The soft thud of my body hitting the ground, briefly
echoed by a small gold cross, torn from my throat, skidding across the smooth
floorboards.
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AN: hehe like? I actually like this very very much ^_^
hehe, the plot's finally falling together ^.~
