Angelic Voice

Angelic Voice

By Hachi Mitsu

09.15.00 - 11.13.00

Phase Three

The breeze still blows about,

Carrying your voice far above,

The chaotic world burning beneath.

Confusion, hatred, anger, seethe.

But only your words still remains clear

Only you, I still can hear

Above all other noise

I still can hear your

Angelic voice.

Lost and alone...

Alone...

And empty...

I almost didn't hear the sound of the book hit the smooth wooden ground. It sounded almost deafening, yet at the same time, muted. Like a muffled bell. It was unbearable. But then, everything got darker, as if the lonely library wasn't dark enough already.

The soft thud of my body hitting the ground, briefly echoed by a small gold cross, torn from my throat, skidding across the smooth floorboards.

            [backflash]

            It was bright out, he can tell even though the room they were in was hundreds of feet below the ground. The little boy sighed as he turned his attention back to the man standing in front of them. He was telling them something... about gravity? It was boring.

            The little boy sighed again as he played with his long brown braid. The people at the institution didn't want him to keep it. They said that it gave him a much too casual look for a soldier in training.

            "Duo," they would always say. "Do you have any idea how much money was invested in your creation? Don't mess up!"

            He hated that too. Like his entire life was based on freak experiment. Yes, he understood that much. It wasn't like they were hiding anything. Even his name, Duo, constantly reminded him of it. It meant 2 in Latin, representing his status number in the group ES-02-180. Elite stage, number 2, created in year 180 AC. Life was so unfair. He'll bet, that up there, in the real world, five year old don't have to go through all this work...!

            "DUO!"

            The unfortunate boy jumped up as a loud booming voice interrupted his thoughts... well, complaints. Smiling sweetly, he confronted the instructor. "Yes, sir?"

            The tall man frowned. Duo knew that he wasn't pleased. Neither were the other people in the small class. Although they were a hell lot better than the regulars, who, in his opinion, were nothing more than zombies, they still had this... this thing!... for strictness.

            "See me after class."

            The braided boy sighed again, silently this time, as he caught a glance of disproval from one of the other students, Heero. And Quatre... of the more, lively ones... gave him a look of sympathy.

            "Yes, sir" he replied in a tired tone.

***

            "I don't see how you can be so 'perfect' all the time!" Duo glared as he bit into the sandwich... and then grimaced at the horrible taste. Like everything else their little lives came in contact with, all their food and drinks were specially formulated to maintain their strength, stamina, mental and physical health. To be short, it taste like shit.

            "At least I'm not an annoying little brat." Heero glared back, his childish face set into its usual scowl. His voice was too serious for its alto boyish tone.

            It took both Quatre and Trowa, another one of their companions, to keep Duo from strangling Heero, there and then. Quatre shook his head, his baby blond hair tousled around his small delicate face. "You know, Duo, Heero does have a point. At least you use to *act*... well, quiet and ... well like Heero, over there," Quatre paused for a moment, pondering at his choice of words as he caught glance of the object of his comparison. The Prussian eyed boy was seriously going to start drilling holes in the wall with his glare. Quatre cleared his throat, nervously. "Duo..."

            "Ack! Alright already, Quatre, I get your point!" Duo pouted. "I used to act... the way I'm supposed to, I guess because I was so young. But now, it's different."

            "You're restless" Wufei, the dark haired boy contributed.

            He nodded. Wufei was right, he almost always is when it came to intuitions and stuff. Duo *was* restless, he didn't know why. Maybe the researchers and scientists *did* mess up when they made him.      

            For a moment he almost wish it were true. It didn't take a genius to figure out that none of them, the workers, really gave a damn about anything other than their own well-being. If Duo wasn't one of their newest 'experiments' they would have never tolerated his behavior and would have had him 'fixed' long ago. The little boy shuddered at the thought. If that did happen, he would end up like the 'regulars', a name they use to refer to the first batches of 'artificial humans' the scientists created. The 'regulars' have no mind of their own. They would do anything their creators asked, no free will.

            True, they have no use now, but as soon as the war reached a certain point of disparity, these 'people' would be sent out to fight. They were easily replaced and no one would miss them. Duo felt sorry for them.

            But if the war does eventually reach that point, *they* would be sent out as well. As pilots or assassins to take care of jobs that required a mind... what would happen to him then? Duo didn't know the answer. Maybe after a while, experiments like himself would be replaceable as well.

            "Duo, daijoubu?"

            The addressed boy looked up to see a pair of concerned blue eyes. "Sure, Heero, why wouldn't I be?"

            Heero shook his head, not as a gesture of denial, but more of just an expression of... confusion. "I... I didn't mean what I said before..."

            Duo's eyes widen for a moment, but then covered the surprise with a slight smile. Reaching up he ruffled the other's dark hair. "If you're trying to say sorry, well, don't."

            Before the other could respond, the braided boy retreated towards the door. "G' night guys." He didn't bother to turn around to see the other's reaction, or what the rest of them made of he and Heero's little exchange. Frankly, he really didn't care *what* anyone else thought about, it all.

            Duo paused in the hallway outside. He didn't know where he wanted to go now. The department was huge, but because of his young age, he was confined to the small section of his division. Duo started jogging; it doesn't matter where he ends up.

            Really, it doesn't. It was times like this when *nothing* really matters. When he's just so overwhelmed with confusion, that the only thing on his mind is... well... nothing at all. He glanced around as he ran through the hall. The walls and ceiling were all made from sleek metal. Nothing interesting. He wanted to... go up, to the surface and see the sun and the people... and trees and grass... Just to be carefree like a kid his age should be...

            Duo sighed tugging on his braid. He really didn't have time for all this self-pity. Hell! He wasn't *programmed* to have self-pity or any of these unnecessary emotions. He was just su-

            Suddenly the violet-eyed boy paused. Pressing his hands against the wall, he struggled to hear. Something was... trembling?

            Then with a force he had never known... even in all his trainings, he was knocked to his feet as the walls around him collapsed. Metal screeched against metal as oil pipes cracked, jumping into flames as the light bulbs shattered leaving the hall lit by only the fire.

            Duo, with all his installed instincts and taught knowledge jumped to his feet, avoiding the falling debris, quick and lithe as a cat. He had no idea what was happening. This has never happened before. This *shouldn't* happen! The place was guarded more than the gates of hell! Running through the now collapsing hall, he struggled to reach the main grounds, there had to be an explanation.

            When he finally reached the main gathering hall, all he saw where bodies. Bodies of instructors, classmates, and people he didn't know. It was clear that they were shot, execution style. Blood, limps and other unidentified things littered the ground. Suddenly, it hit him what had happened. The base must have been attacked. Though the organization should have been a secret, someone, maybe one of those pesky human rights groups had informed the enemy. The enemy country that is. They, who ever the enemy is, would want to stop them because if all these soldiers *were* ever released into battle, they wouldn't stand a chance. So obviously, they would want to end the organization when it doesn't have a fighting chance.

            Duo seethed in anger. Those damn cowards! Then, he froze. What about Heero, Quatre, Wufei and Trowa?! Were they still alive? Tears welled up in his bright violet eyes. Oh no, what if they were, down there, one of the bodies?!

            "HEERO! QUATRE! GUYS! Where are you?!"

            It seemed senseless to go out screaming like this when the enemies would still be around. But he didn't care anymore. He wandered towards where he had left them, the cafeteria. He wandered around the fallen tables. Meals knocked to the ground, suggesting someone was hasty to escape. Suddenly, he felt someone tugging at his braid. Looking down, his eyes welled with relief.

            "Heero!!"

            The Prussian eyed boy looked really beaten. His clothes were scorched by the fire and his leg looked broken. And a huge bruise covered his forehead. "Duo... you're alright."

            Duo nodded swallowed a light sob. It wouldn't fit to cry in front of Heero like... a kid. "Come on. We gotta get outa here! Everyone's dead." He slipped Heero's arm over his shoulders trying to carry him out of the wreckage.

            Heero shook his head. "I know. They came after you left. It was... it was so fast. We didn't stand a chance. They gathered everyone in the main hall, but Quatre and the others got out. They carried me back here, where it'll be safe for a while, I asked them to leave me behind. My leg is broken, so I'd just hinder them."

            He almost dropped the dark haired boy. "You asked them to do WHAT?!"

            Heero sighed. "It was for security. Long ago, they, the scientists, told me that if anything like this ever happens, one of us has to live to tie up the loose ends. To get rid of all the evidence and witnesses." Duo looked confused. "I was too, so I asked them, but all they said was that if I were the surviving ones, I would know what to do when the times comes."

            "So you thought that if you can't survive, then at least help the other three to?!" Duo sighed with frustration as he helped Heero down the hallway towards the elevator that would lead them out. The hallways were dark now, cast only in fiery red. "You BAKA!"

            Heero sighed again. He was about to reply when the screeching sound of metal against metal came from above. The two looked up just in time as a huge crack in the ceiling broke apart into thousands of metal fragments piercing through the white paint like a scalpel through skin. Oil pipes mixed with frayed wires and burst into crackling flames, which reflected off the metallic walls, giving the small hall a surrealistic and ghostly look. It was like a living nightmare; something that would sent you waking up in the night in pure terror. No, it was terror itself. The two boys never got a chance to utter a word, and if they did, the fires and explosions would have swallowed it.

            Duo didn't know what to do. It was probably the end, right there and then. But does it really matter? Did his life mean anything at all, so that it would be worth grieving for its loss? No one else would. No one else knows him, and still lives... maybe Quatre, Trowa and Wufei. And Heero? Was he still there? All he could see was whiteness, and heat. The kinda fire that's so hot that its no longer red, or blue, but pure white. Like the stars he's heard about, but never seen.

            Whiteness. It doesn't really matter anymore, he thought. It was something he could deal with. He's always known it. His earlier memories were those inside the tall glass cylinders, filled with the pale blue liquid. Cut off from the world, floating in an icy hell. But someone had come. He remembered, though details escape his mind. Someone had given him more than the consistency of the icy blue.

            When he left the watery grave, he had thought it was the end. But now, he's there again, only this time, its fire.

            Duo took a deep shuddering breath, or at least he thought he did. He couldn't feel anything other then the burning whiteness. Creeping up his skin and flesh. This must be the end...

            Is it?

            It all faded away until all he could grasp at was that last image of Heero, a pleading look in his eyes. But then that faded away too. And then... and then there wasn't anything else to hold on too.

            My lord, why have you forsaken me...?

[end of backflash]

***

            "Baka! WAKE UP!"

            Huh?! I found myself sitting in bed drawing in shuddering breaths. It took more than a few minutes for my scrambled brain to figure out where I was. Sleepily, I rubbed my eyes.

            Then I froze. Wait... wasn't I at the library? "Heero? What am I doing here?"

            Heero gave me a weird look. He had already returned to his computer and began typing with speed that I was surprised smoke didn't start coming outa the keyboard. "Where else would you be? You *were* studying, but you fell asleep."

            I sat up; pushing away the empty boxes of treats and chips. "But... I went to the library remember?"

            Heero actually TURNED AROUND. He gave me a look that pretty said it all. "Baka, you were probably dreaming. You didn't leave the room."

            "B-but..." he didn't even look at me, Heero-dear was already entangled in his obsessive habit of testing how fast he can type without having the computer blow up... or have ME blow up, with anger.

            I looked around me. Everything was the way it was before. I didn't have my jacket on, and my cross is still around my neck. What had happened? Maybe it WAS all just a dream. The library, the book and that... those, images from... my past?

            I rubbed my hands against my arms, trying to drive away the sudden chill.

            What had happened?

***

            I looked around me. Everything was the way it was before. I didn't have my jacket on, and my cross still hung around my neck. What had happened? Maybe it WAS all just a dream. The library, the book and that... those, images from... my past?

            I rubbed my hands against my arms, trying to drive away the sudden chill.

            What had happened?

            "Heero, are you sure I didn't leave?" It really disgusted me, how pathetic I sounded. Really. If it weren't for the traumatized mood I was in, it'd be enough to knock my entire line of faith from right under my feet. Which actually isn't much... but I digress.

            Heero sighed. "Yes, I am." It bothered me more than it should. Then again, maybe it was just the tone of voice he was using. He sounded like he was trying to convince a little kid that there wasn't any monsters under his bed. Well, I wasn't convinced. In my book, you just don't believe people who swear they saw something while at the same time, have their noses buried in a laptop- lost to the world. It just isn't very convincing.

And then, almost as if he read my mind, Heero reached over, shutting down the computer in an almost apologetic way. "Duo... mind telling me what happened?" He walked towards the bed, sitting by the edge where the sheets weren't littered with stuff.

For some reason that unnerved me more than I'd like to admit. Crawly off the bed in almost mechanical jerks, I wrapped a long wool quilt around me, rubbing the soft cloth against my bare arms. It was too cold to still be wearing just a tank top. Ok, so I lie, the heater managed to keep the room in a comfortable temperature. But still. I've always loved snuggling with anything warm and fuzzy, especially now that I felt so desolate and lost.

I strolled towards the sliding glass doors, which lead to the balcony. Sliding the doors open, I stepped outside and immediately thanked -whatever gods that still existed in my mind- that I had wrapped the quilt around me. Despite the fact that it *was* freezing, I think this is becoming my favorite place in the dorm. Reasons ranging from a nice view to a quick escape. I peered over the edge. Ok scratch that last one. I didn't feel like breaking any bones tonight, which, unlike most... er... hobbies, experience *doesn't* lead to preference.

I sighed again, about to walk back inside. Turning away from my problems ain't gonna make them go away. I've learned that much from experiences. The only thing that *will* make things better would be to find out what the hell has been happening. I need to ask Heero what had happened... that night.

Avoiding the problem wasn't going to make it go away either.

Closing my eyes against the biting breeze, I took a shuddering breath. I have to ask him...

"Heero...?"

"Hai?" I head him answer from not far behind me.

"Why are you alive? Why am I alive?" That's the way to go. Blunt and straight to the point. But then again, as of right now, I don't think I can't think of another way to put it.

"Duo... what happened?" He sounded concerned, but it was so subtle that no one but me could have possibly noticed the softness in his voice.

I felt my breath catch in my throat. All in a rush, like some dam breaking loose, the story began. I had meant to tell him only after he had told me HIS story, but all the other time, I couldn't keep it back.

I found myself sobbing out the entire story. From that first day, when we were attacked, it had seemed so far away! That day when it was still spring and everyone was alive- when everything was still *normal*!

I told him about the dream, and photo book, even Andre.

Throughout the entire ramble, Heero didn't utter a single word, only leaned against the glass door, casting his shadow upon the smooth surface.

"Heero" I found myself asking, "When will things be alright again?"

Will anything *ever* be all right again?

Heero lifted his head for the first time since I started talking. The pale winter moonlight caste an almost bruising light on his cheeks. "I think you can answer that yourself. You know the whole story, now."

I felt my eyes widen. He knew...? Does that mean it was all real? The dream? I glanced down at my hands, then, I'm some sorta...

... but why didn't he tell me?! "You KNEW? And you never told me?"

Heero sighed, answering in a tone that sounded like it was rehearsed over and over again, to perfection in words, but empty of meaning. "Duo, I only found out myself after that... night. I woke up in some type of hospital created by a division of what I believe to be the current decent of the group which attacked us that day 10 years ago. They had managed to track us, the 5 remaining survivors down."

Suddenly, I looked up. "But the others. What about them?"

"I... don't know" Heero tactfully turned away. "Maybe... maybe I shouldn't have come back. I should have just let things go."

"AND WHERE WOULD THAT HAVE LEFT ME?!" I hadn't realized that I damn near screaming until I saw Heero jump with surprise. Lowering my voice, I muttered bitterly "rotting in some damn hellhole, that's where."

"Duo..."

I waved my hand, trying to dismiss the subject. "It's too late. Just forget it." Walking back to the warmth of the room, I sighed. It's weird. Just a few months back, I woulda probably been laughing my head off, seeing Heero acting as meekly as he does now. But at the moment, it just scared me. Scared me like everything else did now.

"Duo... I'm sorry."

I didn't turn around until I heard the light catch of the lock. Acknowledging the fading footsteps down the hall outside, I finally collapsed onto the couch, gathering the light woven blanket around me.

"It's too late..."

[backflash]

            It was dark, and probably a lot of other things too, but the only thing he could see was darkness. Well... that and the dark slim figure that stationed himself at the torpedo station.

            It didn't seem particularly important to Duo at the moment. It was probably just some maintenance person on a late check. He glanced from the shadowing silhouettes to his watch. Only 5 more minutes till Deathscythe and that other Gundam he picked up arrives.

            No time to waste on some flicker of imagination.

            Picking up his light pack, he prepared to slide down the sidebars towards where the suits will most likely ashore. But before he made it over the sides, he spared the figure one last glance. But this time he had a girl, who was not previously there, pinpointed by a gun and annoyed glare.

            Point blank shot... won't be much left of that. Duo snickered. Every brain cell that remembered what Father and Sister taught him screamed for the dark clad boy to intervene and save the poor girl, but common sense warned against it.

            Deathscythe was almost here, he argued with himself, and besides, anyone stupid enough to wander around a military base in a dress as ostentatious as that piece of junk damn well deserved to have a hole in her head... ok make that a couple of holes.

            Turning back on course, he prepared to leave... but something was amiss. The air had a tight hold to it, even a bit smothering. Glancing around, all Duo could scarcely make out a slight figure walking towards him. Quickly, he drew his gun from its holster and took aim. It fired, but no sound came... and the figure came closer.

            "There is another more deserving of that bullet..." The voice seemed to tilt and change... from a dark serious voice to one that held a sweet tone, and then it became serious again, but unemotional this time. And back and forth, from one to another, as if its owner can't seem to find a right fit.

            Filled with horror and disbelief, he took aim and fired again. But this time, there was a loud shot, followed by the expected sickening thud. And the scream of a girl... all in which cleared Duo's vision to painful clarity.

            Sprawled before him was not some dark figure, but the boy he had observed before, and standing by the fallen one was the unmistakable glare of blue.

            Before he could put his confusion into words, he realized that he was already speaking and that he had been for quite a while.

            "...are you ok lady?"

            She was saying something back to him... screaming in fact, but he didn't hear her anymore. Instead, his eyes were locked on those of the bleeding boy.

            A spark of memory touched his mind like that of a hot coal filled with ice.

            You...

            It's you...

            The voice of the girl was lost in a swirl. Duo got the impression that he was saying something himself... but that was lost too.

            Where have you been?

            It's you...

            The swirl turned on it self again as he watched the guy launched himself at the torpedoes, setting it off before leaping into the water.

            "Ninmu Kanryo..."

            He could hear his voice from the deck. Voice that touched his mind like the fragrance of some long lost memory...

[end of flashback]

***

            I fingered the photo with remorse. It was the one that she gave me, Relena when we had met before I got my memory back...

            I finally remember where I first saw the picture. It was a morning, like right now, it must have been right after a mission, cause I remember being tired and not caring about anything except getting some sleep at last.

            But it was waiting for me. The picture. It was propped against a thick cream-colored envelope smiling at me through the morning gloom.

            I've always wondered how it got there. Heero kept denying that it was him but... well, it hadn't seem like much of a point to argue.

            That was right before we were called away for that final battle where Heero self-destructed.

            Something happened to the picture after that. Somehow Relena must have gotten hold of it.

            It was ironic like hell. That a picture could have survived all that had happened while half the people in it didn't. Like a bad joke. But then again life it self was a bad joke.

            I tucked the smooth slip of memory away.

***

            The gravel slid beneath my sneakers as I skid across the road towards Grace. I've only met her a few times, but I'm pretty sure she's in at least one of Heero's classes.

            "Hey! Have you seen Heero lately? He hasn't been back to his room for almost half a week." As much as I hate admitting it, I was a bit worried. It wasn't like Heero to just disappear all of a sudden without any notice...

            OK, that was a flat out lie. But I'm still a bit worried. A discreet cough turned my 10-second attention span turned back to the red-headed girl.

            "Heero? I dun think so. Ya know it's actually kinda weird. I mean, he never cuts class without sending in a notice. Did something happen to him? Is he sick? He hasn't moved away has he? Everyone's so worried, you must be too..."

            Somewhere throughout her ramble, I must have faded out cause the next thing I remember was catching something... or rather someone, dart between the trees and bushes beyond the road we were standing on. Slowing I found myself walking towards the edge of the pebbled ground and towards that faint shadow I saw.

            "... Duo-kun! Duo-kun!" The annoying chirps finally caught my attention again.

            "Huh?"

            "Where are you going? You haven't answered my questions!"

            Questions? "Er... yes!"

            She gave me a weird look.

            "I mean 'no'!"

            She gave me a weirder look. " You haven't listened to a single thing I said, have you?"

            My eyes focused on the trees behind her again. I needed to follow the person.

            "...I asked you 'if you had any idea where he might be.'"

            It might have something to do with Heero. It was a weird idea but somehow it just stuck in my mind.

            "...and you're still not listening to me..."

            Oh boy will I strangle him when I find that baka. He had no right no scare me like that.

            "DUO!"

            "Yes!" I turned to her, blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

            "Oh I give up! Go find him yourself!" Grace. shunned away, stalking down the road with enough fume to heat up the school. And dorms.

            What did I do?

***

            ACK!

            I grimaced as a thick branch smacked against my face as I tumbled non-too gracefully through the non-too existing path.

            Between all the last few weeks of my life, I think I've got enough hiking-experiences to last me a lifetime. Not to mention the bruises to prove it.

            A flitting shadow between grooves of trees put an end to my whining. Darting towards I cursed my slow reaction. At this rate, I'll never get to the bottom of this and be semi-normal again.

            Heero no ba-

            Putting that thought on hold for the moment, I made a futile grab for nearby branches, as the forest floor seemed to rise up to my face as I tumbled down.

            "Itaiiiii."

            I twisted around, trying to see what had ensnared my foot. It was a metal bar, and upon further inspection, I suddenly seemed to take the form of a handle as the rest of the object appeared from beneath the dirt and leaves.

            Pulling my foot out, I got on my knees, using my hands to brush away the rest of the debris that was hiding the object.

            It was some sorta trap door. The wooden surface seemed to melt into the surrounding so that it would be nearly impossible to spot it unless you literally trip over it. Which I of course did.

            Bracing my feet against a dent in the ground, I pulled on the handle, trying to raise the heavy door. After finally moving it against the worn out hinges, I was dismayed to see yet another set of doors, and this time it was metal.

            I'm an idiot! The wooden part of the door was obviously just a façade to hide the real thing. I approached the second set of door with a bit more caution. The rusted surface suggested that it hadn't been used for a long time, but the basic design and structure of the door had a strange resemblance to those used in military bases.

            Bracing against the floor once more, I twisted the metal bars as they slowly began to turn on their hinges and open the door. The opening gaped up at me like something from a nightmare. Shards of glass littering the bottom of entry gleamed up like stars on a dark night.

            Slipping over the edge I drew a deep breath. This was it...

            I felt the glass and splinters of wood crunch beneath my feet as I ducked down in order to pass through the low door. Squinting through the darkness, I felt a sudden rush of claustrophobic fear. It seemed familiar... somehow, despite the fact that everything was still in the shadows.

            Shadows... hidden, like the skeleton in the closet. Something was here, something still is, or at least a fading shadow of it. But sometimes, the shadows are the worst part.

            Shadows.

            Almost as if by some inborn instinct, I started walking through the darkness. Following some unseen path as more glass and other fragments broke with every step before I finally came to a halt.

            Before I could stop, words began to slip from my lips, words that seemed familiar, words that were once repeated over and over again. Words that felt like home.

            Sounds of machinery whirled around me as a sliver of light fell upon my face. The wall before shifted, opening to a huge vast room, which started several stories beneath where I stood.

            For a while, I just stood there in shock. There was no living person here. You could tell from the dust that layered the floor. From the floor that little with evidences of the horror that had once occurred here.

            But other than that, it seemed as if this place... this building, was all prepared for it's residents and workers to return. Automatic computers began to flicker on for the first time in years and everything came to life...

            It reminded me of a story I read once, a story about a world where mankind's own weapons been their destruction. But amidst the rubble and death, a house still remained. It's computers running it as if the residents were sitting before the eaten plates. Laughing at the unseen TV. Sleeping in the untouched beds.

            It was a graveyard. Then I realized. The pieces fell together.

            "It is a graveyard. My graveyard..."

            Shuffles came from behind me.

             "It is... isn't it?"

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AN: hehe like? Please review!! =D I'll try to write more asap ^___^