HOW DO I GET THERE

By: Sg1PhileShipper
Email: sg1phileshipper@skynet.be
Disclaimer: The SGC doesn't belong to me. They are property of Gekko,
Showtime, MGM and Double Secret. Please don't sue me, no fringe is intended.
The song "How do I get there" belongs to Deanna Carter and no fringe
intended either.
Spoilers: None
Season: Season 4
Rating: PG
Classification: S/J something, songfic
Keywords: Fluff
Archive: Sam and Jack, Heliopolis pretty please. Anywhere else would be just
fine, as long as it stays friendly.
Feedback: Pleaaaazzzzeeeee??????
Author's Note: This one popped up in my head while watching "The shopping
channel" during my lunch break. LOLOLOLOL. It's based on Deanna Carter's
"How do I get there"
Summary: A certain song makes Sam think about Jack and she writes him a
letter.





HOW DO I GET THERE


Sam was sitting at her desk; trying to do some work while listening to the
radio. She was looking to artifacts they brought back from their latest
mission. Somehow, she was unable to concentrate on anything than the soft
music playing in the background. It was her favorite music, but sometimes
she drifted off in her dreams while listening. She heard some lyrics that
were perfect for her and Jack and Sam gone. If no one interrupted her, she
could dream away for several hours. Sometimes she pictured them doing the
most romantic things. Because she had fallen head over heals for her CO a
long time ago. And nothing could take her mind away from him. She had it
bad, very bad. And the more time she spent with him, the stronger her love
got.

A very familiar melody filled the room again and Sam was daydreaming. It
was the most romantic song she heard in a long time and for some reason one
sentence popped up in her head the whole time.

How do I get there?

She wondered how her CO felt about her. She wished she could read his mind
and look deeper into him. Somehow, they had become very close over the three
years they worked together. She didn't know how close they were, but she
could say they were good friends. They way they cared about each other
proved it. But they question was if Jack cared about her more than a good
friend.

Sometimes she thought about going to see him and ask him how he felt. But
she never found the courage to do that. And when she did, she woke up
sweating; cause it had all been a dream. A dream she wanted to come true.
Even if that dream could turn into a nightmare. If Jack wouldn't feel the
same as she did, her world would fall down. She was glad she didn't know.
The result could never be negative. He couldn't hurt her by telling he
didn't love her. But sometimes it was to know, even if he didn't care, than
not to know at all. And Sam had been in this "I need to know"-mood all week
long. But she would never be able to tell him in the face. She decided to
write him a letter. It was not too personal and just personal enough.

Sam took a pen and papers and started writing. After a few lines she ripped
the paper in two and threw it away. She didn't like what she had written and
she tried again. Both her second, third and fourth attempt landed in the
bin. She couldn't find the exact words to express how she felt. It had to be
perfect. It needed to say everything she wanted to say. Although her
feelings were overwhelming her, the words wouldn't come. She kept staring at
an empty paper until that one phrase came to mind.

How do I get there?

SJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJR

Dear Jack.

I am sure you are surprised to receive this letter from someone you work
with. I don't want to excuse myself for this letter, nor for the fact that I
can't say this to your face. I just think it is time for me to start with my
life again and I can't do that as long as I can't this out of my mind. So
here comes what you could call the biggest confession in the life of
Samantha Carter.

First of all, I want our relationship to stay the way it has always been.
Whatever happens and how hard it may be for either of us, I want to remain
friends. I know that you're my CO and all that, but I think I can say we are
friends. Either that or I know nothing about human beings.

Before you get sick and tired of my rambling, I'll cut to what's most
important. Me and the way I see you. It may be hard for you to understand,
(or not), but I've known for a very long time there is a you. And there is
the way I see you. In my eyes, you are the most wonderful man in the world.
I love the way you talk and the way that you smile with your eyes. This of
course, is my heart speaking. But deep down I know you're not that perfect.
And don't give me one of your looks, cause I know no one is perfect. Not
even Jack O'Neill. But in my eyes, you are just perfect the way you are.

Please, don't be mad at me. I couldn't stand it if you never looked at me
again. But I know you wouldn't do that. You're too honest for that. And I do
hope you appreciate my honesty. Because I had two choices: Remain in the
dark by not telling anything or be honest and take the chance to ruin
everything I have worked for. I know I'm taking a big chance here, something
that could ruin my career as well as my life.

Okay, here I go. I am in love with you, Jack. I have been for as long as
I can remember. I just never realized how much until a few months ago. You
were walking into the wormhole and it occurred to me how important you were.
I couldn't stand living a day without you. I would give my life for you if
that would save you. I know it probably sounds stupid and childish, but
that's the way things are. I am being completely open and honest here and I
hope you appreciate that.

It's hard to tell how you feel about me, but sometimes I get the
impression you more about me than you should. I know you are my CO and that
it's against the rules, but I couldn't live with myself if I never told you.
I need to get this out, even knowing there's a chance I might get hurt. But
I'll take my chances and confess to you. Or maybe you'll never get this
letter. In fact, there's a big chance I'll never have the guts to send this,
so why do I bother.

All I need to know is how you see me. Am I just Major Carter to you, you
2IC? Or am I much more than that? Maybe I'm imagining things and you never
had the slightest feeling for me. Or maybe I'm seeing everything through
pink glasses. I'll just hope for the best. Maybe some day I will know how
you feel.

My feelings for you are very deep. I have loved before in my life, but I
had never had feelings like I have now. I live with you in my heart for 30
hours a day. When I look at you, I see so much more than Colonel Jack
O'Neill. I see a tender and caring person. My father once told me that I
would recognize true love even if it bit me in the armpit. There's no need
for that now. My true love has been right in front of me for the past three
years. When I see you, I see an us. We could be so much more than good
friends. I could climb the Himalaya with you. I'd go swimming in my nude in
the middle of winter. I would lie on the warm, white sand, watching the
stars. I would sit on some rocks and watch the sunset and I would always be
by your side.

I know I'm making promised I can't keep. But one thing is certain: I
wanna love you forever. Even if it means risking my career. Because I can't
go on and deny this feeling. You started as being a friend to me, but over
the years you became so much more. There's even a song about it. I wrote it
a while ago and a friend of mine used it as the newest single of a star. Who
happens to me my cousin by the way. You probably don't know the song, so
I'll just write the lyrics down.


We've always been the best of friends
No secrets and no demands
But suddenly from somewhere out of the blue
I see a different light around you
One thing I haven't told you, I just want to hold you
And never let go, I need to know

How do I get there from here?
How do I make you see?
How do I tell you what my heart's been tellin' me?
Lost in your lovin' arms that's where I want to be
You know I love you
How do I get there?

You probably think I've lost my mind
Takin' this chance crossin' that line
But I promise to be truer than true
Dreaming every night with these arms around you
I can't wait any longer this feeling's gettin' stronger
Help me find a way

How do I get there from here?
How do I make you see?
How do I tell you what my heart's been telling me?
Lost in your lovin' arms that's where I wanna be
You know I love you
How do I get there?

I know the shortest distance
Between two points is a straight line
But I'll climb any mountain that you want me to climb
The perfect combination is your heart and mine
Darlin' won't you give me a sign

How do I get there from here?
How do I make you see?
How do I tell you what my heart's been tellin' me?
Lost in your lovin' arms that's where I wanna be
You know I love you
How do I get there from here?


I think this song says all I want to say. Can you believe I wrote it in
ten minutes? It may come as a surprise to you, but I used to be a great
music student. I can play the guitar, but my favorite instrument is probably
the piano. Before you can ask, I studies music for eleven years.

But enough of that. I'll stop here and hope that you understand my
motives. Or maybe you'll never get to read this.

All my love,


Sam


Sam sighed deeply and relaxed in her chair. She smiled to herself and put
the letter in a large yellow envelope. She closed it and wrote Jack's name
on the front. She laid it on her pile, took her stuff and walked out of her
office. She had to go home and get a good night of sleep.


SJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJRSJR

Sam had taken a warm shower and was relaxing in front of her TV. She was
watching a tape of the x-files. It was the last episode of the series and
she had seen it over twenty times. In her eyes, it was the most romantic
episode in the history of television. Mulder and Scully shared their first
kiss and they got married by the end of the episode. When it was over, tears
of happiness streamed down her face. It was almost nine and Sam took the
tape out of the VCR. She threw "up close and personal in. She went to the
kitchen and took a bottle of diet coke. She was about to sit down, when she
heard a very familiar melody coming from outside. It almost sounded like the
song she had written. She went to her window and stared open-mouthed at the
two persons standing under her window: Jack O'Neill was playing the guitar
and some woman was singing. She didn't recognize her at first. She got down
and when she came closer to them her mouth opened.

"But you are..."
"Very pleased to meet you. Hi Sam."
"Deanna... How? What?"
"Let me explain. Jack is a good friend of mine. I met him a couple of
years ago. He called me this afternoon and asked me if I wanted to sing my
song for someone. When he said it was for you, I told him you were the one
who wrote the song. I could hear pride in his voice, Sam. So I guess this is
your source of inspiration?"
"Not so loud, Dee, he will hear you."
"Sam, he already knows."
"I guess so. What do I do now?"
"How would I know? Talk to him."
"I can't. He's my CO for heaven's sake."

Meanwhile, Jack had walked up to Sam and was looking at her.

"You know Deanna Carter?"
"She's my cousin, Sir. I've known her forever."
"Go figure. Who would have known?"
"I could say the same, Sir."
"I guess."

Deanna put her hand in the air to get their attention.

"I'll leave you guys to it. I have a plane to catch."
"Thanks, Dee."
"I'm glad I could help, Jack."

She hugged them both, leaving a very confused couple behind. Neither spoke
until her car had disappeared.

"Sam, I think you and I need to have a long talk."
"About?"
"Don't give me that! For starters, about a certain yellow envelope you
lost at the SGC."
"On no!"

Sam looked at Jack, panic evident in her big, blue eyes. She stood frozen
for a second, before she turned around and ran off. Jack followed closely
behind, trapping her against a tree. She freed herself and got away. This
time, Jack tackled her and they landed in the wet grass. Jack was lying on
top of Sam, chocolate brown staring deeply into crystal blue. She was about
to say something, but Jack silenced her by putting his finger on her lip.
The scare of what she had said in her letter was written all over her face.
She weakly smiled at her CO.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I was way out of line."
"Just stop, Sam. Do you really think I would have gone through all this
trouble if I didn't care about you? Do you really think I would play guitar
if I just saw you as my 2IC? And seriously, would Deanna have done this if
my motives weren't good? You don't really believe that yourself, do you?!"
"No..."

He was staring deeply into her eyes, looking through her soul and looking
straight into her heart. Tears were forming in his eyes and his voice was
barely above a whisper.

"Sam, I feel the same. I share those feelings. I care about you despite
everything that is against us."
"Jack..."
"Don't say a thing, Sam. Just listen to me. I love you. I have never
loved anyone like I love you. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again.
But you came into my life and all my walls crumbled. And nothing in the
world will stop me from loving you. You Sam, you are the most precious thing
in my life and I want to spend a lifetime with you."

Sam gave Jack the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He smiled back
and claimed her lips with his. He gave her the softest and sweetest kiss he
had ever given. They kissed for a few seconds before Jack pulled away and
got up. He offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet. They both smiled
and walked back to Sam's place. And it felt wonderful to hold each other's
hand. They got inside and Jack followed Sam into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to drink, Jack?"
"A beer would be nice."
"One beer coming right up."

Sam turned around and opened the fridge. She was about to take a beer when
she felt two strong arms encircling her waist. She smiled and leaned against
Jack. He kissed her neck and turned her around in his arms. He laid his
hands on her cheeks and tenderly claimed her lips with his. They kissed for
several minutes and Sam pulled away.

"I think my neck's broken."
"Sorry."

Jack grinned at her and she smiled sheepishly. She grabbed a beer and
managed to close the door before Jack was kissing her again. His kisses were
becoming deeper and more passionate. Sam pulled away, took Jack's hand and
led him to the living room. They curled up on the couch. Jack was lying with
his back against some pillows, with Sam curled in his lap. Her head was
resting on his shoulder and he had his arm around her waist. Jack spent a
better part of the evening holding her and looking at her. He enjoyed the
closeness-as did Sam- and he didn't care about regulations. For Sam, he
would give up his job if he had to. As long as they could be together,
everything would be fine.


The End. Feedback please? drools all over her keyboard