pureVENOM: Alright, peoplez!! The Dragoons and their fearz!! Wah hahahaha!! Be afraid!! Well, actually, I suck at humor fics. But still, read and review, please!! ^_^ Kay, in this fic everybody's staying at the inn at Bale for some unknown reason.
Bale rocks!!
I don't own Legend of Dragoon. Sony does.
I also don't own Twinkies. Hostess does.
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Nightmarez


pureVENOM: (lounging on a couch, drinking Mountain Dew.) Ahh, caffiene. The drug of the devil. ^_^ (suddenly gets bored.) Damn, I'm bored. (decides to go bother the Dragoons) Hm, I think I'm gonna go bug the Dragoons. Heh.

At Bale

Haschel's snoring is keeping Miranda up.

Miranda: %^#*(^^#$#(* Haschel... (goes downstairs to the inn's kitchen.) (drinks some coffee.) ^&#$***...

pureVENOM: Mwa haha... I shall give all the Dragoons nightmarez. Dat should be fun. ^_^ (decides to start with the youngest of the Dragoons. Meru!!)

Meru's dream:

Dream Meru: WHEEE!! (spins around with her hammer, knocking out all the enemies.) Mwa ha!! I am the strongest of all the Dragoonz!!

Dream Rose: (nodz) Yes, I must agree. She is the strongest of all of us. (Bows down to worship the all powerful Meru.)
All the other Dragoons do the same.
Suddenly the scenery changez to Meru's house.

Dream Meru: Wow, I'm so bitchin' hungry!! (goes over to the cabinet.) Sugar!!

pureVENOM suddenly pops into Meru's dream.

pureVENOM: Wahhhhh!! (falls to the floor.) Owy... (she notices Meru looking for something to eat.) Mwa hahaha... the perfect fear... (Makes all the Twinkies inside disappear.)

Dream Meru: (opens the cabinet.) What the-!? Where's all the Twinkies!? (startz to sniffle.) SUGAAARRRR!!! I NEED SUGARRRRR!!! WAHAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! (freaks out.) (tearz the empty cabinet to shredz)

pureVENOM: 0_0;;;;;;;; (is freaked out.) I think it's time for a tactical retreat. (disappears.)

In the Bale Inn

Meru: (wakez up.) WAHHHHHHHH!!! (sobz) Twinkiez, Twinkiez.... ;_; Wahhhhh.... (flyz downstairz.) SUUUGGAAARRRRR!!!!!!!

Rose: (wakes up to Meru's yelling.) Huh...??? (looks around) Oh well. (goez back ta sleep)

Downstairz

Miranda: (has huge circles under her eyes.) @^$&*^%((^%^%... %$&&^$ snoring Haschel... (drinks her twentieth cup of coffee.)

Meru: Miranda...? What're ya doin up this late at night?

Miranda: %#%&%&**& none of your #*&($ business. That #^&&%*% Haschel keeps %#*(%^$ snoring.

Meru: Err, okay. Um, mind if I sit here?

Miranda: Yes, I *&%&((*$$^$ do mind.

Meru: Kay. Whatever. (sits anyway)

Miranda: Well, that totally &%$^#**^&% defeated the whole purpose of ^$#^&&*&%$^ asking me that #%^&(@^ question.

Upstairs

pureVENOM: Alrighty! Another nightmare!! ^_^ Heh. How about Shana!?

Shana's dream:

Dream Shana: Oh, look Dart! Isn't it such a lovely sunset?

Dream Dart: (looks at the sunset) Yes, it is beautiful. But not even nearly as beautiful as you are, Shana.

pureVENOM: (pops into the dream.) Whoa!! (lands flat on her face.) Agh! Pain! I'm in pain!

Dream Dart and Dream Shana: 0_o;;;;;;;;;;

pureVENOM: (gets up) Okay! I'm ALLLLL RIGHT!! Mwa hahahaha!!! Hey, Shana, hey Dart!! ^_^ (thinks) Say, Shana... Are ya scared of this?!!? (transforms into Rose)

pureVENOM(Rose): Mwa hahaha!! Da MOOOON CHILLLLLLDDDD!!!! (raises a scarily big and sharp sword) DIIIIEEEE MMOOONNN CHIILLDDdDDDdDddDd!!!!!

Dream Shana: Daaaaart!! Help me!!!

Dream Dart: (attacks pureVENOM) Blazing Dynamo!!!

pureVENOM(Rose): Gah!! Aw crap. (fallz over) (leaps to her feet.) Oh, yeah!?!? The Blazing Dynamo doesn't stand a chance against Demon's Dance!! Bwa hahaha!!! Demon's Dance!!!

Dream Dart: Wahhh!! (get shredded into lotsa little tiny pieces.)

Dream Shana: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;; DAAARRTTT!!!!

pureVENOM(Rose): Mwa hahahaha!!! (chases Shana)

Dream Shana: EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!!

Back at Bale inn

Shana: EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKk!!!!

Rose: (wakes up to Shana's screaming) ...Eh? Shana, what's all this screaming about?

Shana: (sees Rose) YYYOOOUuUuUuuu!!! EEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!! (runs away, downstairs)

Downstairs

Shana: (quivering and drinking some hot coffee)

Meru: Wow, Shana. That coffee's at like a bitchin' two hundred degreez!! And yer STILL shivering!?

Shana: Eh? WAAAAHHHHHH!!!! %#&%*%&*$$@#&^^&%^#*&%$&$&%$^&*(%((^)&^&*^!!!!!!

Miranda: ##&%*^$& wow.

Upstairz

pureVENOM: Heh, that was kewl. (decides to give Kongol a nightmare.) Mwa hahahaha...

Kongol's dream:

Dream Kongol: (is sitting with his teddy bear.) How are you today, Mr. Teddy Bear?

Dream Kongol(Mr.TeddyBear): (In a very high-pitched and squeaky voice that you would never expect a Giganto to even be able speak in) I am OK. How are you today, Kongol?

pureVENOM: (pops into the dream.) (Lands on the ground headfirst with a crash.) Ouch. I gotta work on landing with my feet...

Dream Kongol: (looks surprised.) Who are you? (A look of recognition appears.) Oh, you are the weird writing girl.

pureVENOM: Um, no I'm not...? Ergh, whatever. (tries to think of what Gigantos are afraid of, but can't come up with anything.) *Dammit! I shoulda planned it out before entering the dream! Well, I look pretty stupid.* Hey, Kongol, what are you afraid of?

Dream Kongol: Kongol is Giganto warrior. Kongol is afraid of nothing.

pureVENOM: Huh? C'mon!! Ya hafta be afraid a somethin'!!! Ok, what if ya WEREN'T a Giganto warrior, then what would ya be afraid of????

Dream Kongol: (thinks)

After ten minutes later

pureVENOM: -_-;;;;;;;;;;; Well...?

Dream Kongol: (shrugs)

pureVENOM: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;; Grrr... (thinks of what Kongol would be scared of) I KNOW!!! (a glowy light-bulb appears above her head)

Dream Kongol: (blocks his face) AGHH!! THE LIGHT!!! (starts screaming) NOOOOOoOoOooooOOoOO!!!!! THE LIGHT, IT BUURRRNNNSSSS!!!!! (freaks out)

pureVENOM: Huh? KEWL!!! (starts chasing Kongol with light-bulbs)

At the Bale inn

Kongol: (wakes up suddenly) AHHHHHH!!!! THE LIGHT!!!!!

Rose: (wakes up to Kongol's screaming) Grr... What now...? What are you screaming about, Kongol?

Kongol: (totally freaked out) TTTHHHHEE LIIIGHHHHTTT!!! THE BRIGHTNESS OF THE LIGHT OF THE BULB OF THE WEIRD WRITING GIRRRLLLLLL!!!!!!!! (runs downstairs to calm down)

Rose: (has a headache from waking up so many times and listening to Kongol's screaming.) (goez back to sleep)

Downstairz

Kongol: (sipping some tea.) ......

Meru: Wow, now Kongol's down here too!! Kewl!! We can have like a bitchin' party here or somethin'!!

Miranda: $@$^*&(*%&. Why ARE all of you &^$%#(*^%* down here, anyway? (drains another cup of coffee)

Shana: (meekly) Um, I had a bad dream...

Meru: Wow, really!!!??? Me too!!! It was so bitchin' scary!!!

Kongol: ... (sip)

Everyone looks at Kongol

Kongol: ...Kongol also have bad dream.

Shana: What about you, Miranda?

Miranda: #%^*&%@^& Haschel's %#^&(*&^( snoring. I can't %#&*(^(^& sleep.

Meru: Hey, Shana, you can make coffee right?

Shana: Yes, why?

Meru: Miranda drank bitchin' all of it!!

Shana: Oh, I could make some more.

Meru: Thanks!! ...And could you make some more tea too?

Shana: (nod) Sure.

Meru: Anything with ....CAFFIENE!!!!!

Shana: o_0;;;;; Okay...

Upstairz

pureVENOM: Alrighty. Time fer Dart. Heh.

Dart's dream:

Dream Dart: snore snore

pureVENOM: (pops into the dream) (lands feet-first) (Aren't ya proud of me??) Whoo hoo!! I did it!! Mwa hahaha!!! ^_^ I'm un-stop-able!!!!

Dream Dart: snore snore snore snore

pureVENOM: WTF? What kind of dream is this??

Dream Dart: snore snore snore snore snore snore

pureVENOM: Gah!! He's almost as bad as Haschel!!

Dream Dart: snore snore snore snore snore snore snore snore

pureVENOM: THE SNNOOOOORINGGG!!!! STOOOPPP!!!

Dream Dart: snore snore snore snore snore snore snore snore snore snore

pureVENOM: (slaps Dart with the flat of her sword) WAKE UP!!!

Dream Dart: Gah... snore snore

pureVENOM: Gah...? (bashes his head with a hammer)

Dream Dart: Owy... snore snore

pureVENOM: Dammit!! (drops a refridgerator on him)

Dream Dart: Ow... snore snore snore snore

pureVENOM: I hafta wake him up!! Grrr... AHAH!! (in a Rose voice) Da~art... It's me~e... Ro~ose... I lo~ove yoooouuuu....

Dream Dart: Eh...!? (wakez up.) What the hell are you talking about, Rose!?!? Don't you know how freaking WEIRD that is!?!? I mean, if my dad was your lover, what would that make us!?!?! Huh!?!?!

Bale inn

Dart: (wakes up) O. M. GGGGGGGGG!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!!!! (runs downstairs)

Rose: (wakes up to Dart's shouting) Can't a Dragoon get some sleep around here...? (falls back asleep)



pureVENOM: Well, I think it's getting kinda long so I'll stop now. Please read and review, peoplez!! Tell me whatcha think of it!! REVVVIIIIIEEEEEEWWWW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^