pureVENOM: Wah ha!! Second chapter!! Reaad and reeview, peoplez!! ^_^
I don't own Legend of Dragoon. Sony does!!
I also don't own Mountain Dew. Pepsi does!! Yum!! ^_^
Chapter Two: More Nightmarez and Caffiene
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Downstairz
Dart: Sh!t!! (drinks some coffee and continues to curse)
Shana: (making drinks for Meru) Here, Meru done. But what are you going to do with all this?? (brings a bunch of tea, coffee, and Mountain Dew over.)
Meru: ^_^ I'm gonna drink 'em!! (starts mixing them all together) It's gonna be the most caffieneist drink in the whole entire continent of Endiness!!
Everybody: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;; Eww, gross!!!
Meru: (done mixing them) (starts drinking her coffee/tea/Mountain Dew concoction.) CAFFIENEY!!!! @_@ WAHHH HHHAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Upstairz
pureVENOM: Hee! This is kewl!! ^_^ Time for ALBERT'S nightmare!! Mwa hahaha!!!!
Albert's dream:
Dream Albert: That's it!! @_@ I have discovered the meaning of life!!! Mwa hah!! I'm a genius!!
pureVENOM: (pops into the dream) Wheeee!!! ^_^ Hey, Al!!!
Albert: Wh-WHo ARE YOU!?!? O.O
pureVENOM: Meeeeee?????
Albert: YES!!!
pureVENOM: Wahh!! Who carezzz!? (thinks of a way to scare Albert) WHO ARE YOUUUUUUUUU!?!?!?!??
Albert: ??
pureVENOM: Heh heh.... (makes Emille appear)
Dream Emille: Hiya, honey!! ^_^
Albert: Err, hiya...?
Dream Emille: Meow? (her eye-balls pop out) (Emille slumps to the ground) Owy...
Albert: (really freaked out) O_O;;;;;;;;;;; Ah?
Dream Emille's Eyez: Mwa hahahahahaha!!! We will not hesitate to strangle you!!! (start chasing Albert)
Albert: WAAAHHHHHHHH!!! THIS IS NOT LOGICAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!! (thinks) Wait a minute!! I'm a Dragoon!! I'm not scared of a pair of homicidal eyes!!
Dream Emille's Eyez: Oh really??? (scary evil glare)
Albert: EEPP!! (runs)
Bale inn
Albert: (wakes up) LOGICALNESSSSSS!!!!!!! O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Rose: (wakes up) What...?
Albert: (looks around) Agh!! Where is everybody!? (sees Rose) AHHHHHHH!!!!! ZOmBIE!!!! WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THIS WORLD!?!?!?! WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (runs downstairs)
Rose: Zombie? Whatever. (goes back ta sleep)
Downstairz
Meru: Wow!!Therezalottapeopledownhere!!!Kewllllll!!!!!/\_/\WAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Shana: Everyone except Miranda is down here because of a nightmare, right?
Meru: Yougotthatright!!!!Itwassobitchin'scarytoo!!!!
Everybody: Yeah...
Dart: There's only Haschel left now...
Meru: Yeah!!Ifwhat'shisnameLavitzandRosewerestillalivethey'dbedownheretoo,huh!?!?!!
Albert: O.O;;;;;;;;; I.... saw.... Rose.....
Dart: Eh? What do you mean?
Albert: She... was... ZOMBIE!!! ...upstairsssss..... LOGIC!!!
Miranda: Well, he's %&$*^(*^ &%&*%( up.
Shana: Don't be so mean, Miranda. Can't you see he's traumatized?
Miranda: @%%#^#@ yeah... Whatever....
Upstairs
pureVENOM: That was the coolest yet!! ^_^ Whoooooo!!! Haschel's nightmare, now!!
Haschel's dream:
Dream Haschel: Mwa haha!! Of course, I won!! (standing on a huge stage in the Lohan arena)
Dream Lloyd: Darn... I was soooo gonna win....
Dream Haschel: Yeah, whatever.
pureVENOM: (pops into the dream) WAHHHH HOOOOO!!!! Huh? Whaddidya win??
Dream Haschel: THE HERO COMPETITION!!!
pureVENOM: Geez, yer STILL thinking about that? The Hero Competition was like what, in the beginning of the game?? Ya must have some kinda lozing problem or something.
Everybody: ...???
pureVENOM: WHATEVER!! I have PEOPLE to terrorize!!! (makes little Claire appear)
Dream Claire: Hi, Dad!!
Dream Haschel: C-Claire!?!?
Dream Claire: Yep!! It's me, Dad!! And ya know what??
Dream Haschel: ...What?
Dream Claire: (evil look) I HATE YOU!!! YOU'RE THE WORSTEST DAD IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!
Dream Haschel: . Ouch. Er, why?
pureVENOM: (thinks) Crap!!
Dream Claire: Err................. JUST BECAUSE!!! (eviler look) Now I will destroy you with my powers from the God of War!!
Dream Haschel: You gotta be kidding me. You're an eight year old girl.
Dream Claire: I have the freaking powers of a God of War!!!!
Dream Haschel: I KNOW that. Don'tcha remember back in the Moon? I won the batte.
Dream Claire: Grrr... I was kicking your wrinkly, old ass!!! I only LET you win!!
Dream Haschel: LIAR!! I won that fight fair and square!!!!
Dream Claire: You wish!!
Dream Haschel: Oh yeah!!?!?!?? (tears Claire to shredz)
pureVENOM: Damn!! Why isn't this working!? (thinks) Hm... Hey Haschel!!
Dream Haschel: What?
pureVENOM: Turn into a Dragoon, will ya??
Dream Haschel: Why??
pureVENOM: Just 'cause!!
Dream Haschel: Er, OK. (turns into a Dragoon)
pureVENOM: Mwa hahaha!! (blocks Human transformation) Lloyd, get him!!
Dream Lloyd: (pulls out Dragon Buster) Now let's see who'll win!!
Dream Haschel: 0_o;;;;;;;;;;; Uh oh...? (runs)
Bale Inn
Haschel: (wakes up) Whoa. I'm never gonna turn into a Dragoon again. (walks downstairs)
Downstairs
Dart: Hiya Grandpa!!
Everybody: ^_^
Haschel: Never call me that again.
Dart: Heh. Why not? You ARE my grandpa-
Haschel: (knocks out Dart with a punch.) (tosses him into a nearby closet)
Meru: Whoooo!!Yeah!!VI-O-LENCE!!!
Upstairz
pureVENOM: Hm, what Legend of Dragoon fic would be complete without Lavitz???
Lavitz's grave in Hellena
Lavitz: (suddenly wakes up) OW!! (rubs his head) Damn coffin lid... O.O;;;;;;;;; COFFIN LID!?!?!!?!?!? EEEKK!! I'm a dead guy!! (thinks) Waiiit a minute.
pureVENOM: Hiya, Lavitz!! ^_^
Lavitz: Wahh!! Who said that!?!? (looks around but sees no one) 0_o;;;;;;;;;;;;;; GHOSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
pureVENOM: Er.... ?? I'm not a ghost.
Lavitz: WTF!?!? I thought I'm supposed to be dead??
pureVENOM: Ya are. I was jes visitin' ya!!
Lavitz: Uh.... Okaaaayyyyy... Could ya get me outta here before I run out of oxygen??
pureVENOM: Sure!! ^_^ Uh... @_@ What's oxygen??
Lavitz: 0_o;;;;;; That stuff that you can't see, but it's all around us and we breathe it so we can stay alive and we won't die and be dead.
pureVENOM: Oh. Okay. But since you died I don't think that oxygen stuff helped you all that much.
Lavitz: JUST GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! O.o;;;;;;;;; (beats on coffin)
pureVENOM: OK, OK. Hold on. (Lavitz teleports out of the coffin) Hiya!! ^_^
Lavitz: 0_o;;;;;;; Hiya...?
pureVENOM: Well, I'm off. Here, talk ta Lloyd ta pass the time. (disappears.) (Lloyd takes her place)
Lavitz: GAHHH!!! LLOYYYDDDD!!!!! (runs and hides)
Lloyd: Huh? Aren't I dead?
Lavitz: ... You too?? (comes out of hiding) How'd you die??
Lloyd: It's a long story. Geez, my life sucks.
Lavitz: Whatever. My life sucks more.
Lloyd: Oh yeah? How?
Lavitz: Well, 1- my totally cool Knighthodd was destroyed. 2- I was taken to Hellena Prison to get eaten by Jiango. 3- (looks around) I'm STILL in Hellena Prison. 4- That pansy Dart saved my life twice. 5- I got shot with an arrow at my ankle by one of Hellena's wardens. See? It left a scar. (shows Lloyd the scar)
Lloyd: Gasp!! That bastard!!
Lavitz: 6- Greham beat me up with some crazily strong attack while I was fighting him. 7- Rose beat me up when I tried to go out with her.
Lloyd: Gasp!! REALLY!?!? ME TOO!!!
Lavitz: 8- You killed me with that crazy sword.
Lloyd: . Sorry about that. No hard feelings, right?
Lavitz: Er... I guess it's okay. ...9- ALBERT TOOK MY DRAGOON SPIRIT!! That thing was soooo cool!!!
Lloyd: REALLY!?!? I alwayz wanted to be a Dragoon!!!
Lavitz: REALLY!?!?! Which one!?!?
Lloyd: The DIVINE DRAGOON!!!
Lavitz: Whoa. I never heard of that one!!
Lloyd: Oh, you died before that.
Lavitz: Dammit!! Why'd you have to kill me so early!?!?
Lloyd: I dunno!!
Lavitz: Yeah, whatever.
Lloyd: Well, what's it like ta be a Dragoon???
Lavitz: Well, whenever you attack, you get this weird powery stuff called Spirit Points!! SP for short.
Lloyd: Kewl.
Lavitz: And If ya get enough SP, you can transform!! Transforming is da best!! I love being a Dragoon!! ...Ya know, just as long as I'm not around a Dragon Buster.
Lloyd: Or a Dragon Block Staff.
Lavitz: Dammit!! I missed that too!? Man, I missed all the cool stuff!!
Lloyd: Aw c'mon. I'm sorry about killin' ya.
Lavitz: Ah, well, anyway, I'm not done with my 'Why My Life Sucks More Than Yours' list. 10- I was brought back to life to be possessed by a demon. 11- I was a really easy boss. 12- I died again. There, I'm done with my list.
Lloyd: Darn. My list can't beat all that.
Lavitz: Well, let me hear it anyway.
Lloyd: Fine. 1- I was tricked by this psycho-killer Wingly. 2- I got beat up by Dart and his friends. 3- I got killed by the psycho-killer Wingly. 4- I gave DART the DIVINE DRAGOON Spirit.
Lavitz: O.O Whoa, really!?!??
Lloyd: -_-;;;;;;;; Yeah!! I'm such an idiot!!! What the hell was I thinking!!??!
Lavitz: Sh!t!! I don't know!!! Dammit!! Let's go get our Dragoon spirits back!!! : D
Back at Bale Inn
pureVENOM: (yawnz) Gah...!! I was gonna give Rose a nightmare last... But I'm too freaking tired. I said up all freaking night, giving people freaky nightmarez.... (yawn) Dammit... I need freaking caffiene. (goes downstairs for caffiene)
Rose: (wakes up for no reason and goes downstairs too)
Downstairz
pureVENOM: YEEE HAAAWWWW!!!! (leaps down by a case of soda) SODDAAA!!!!!
Dart: Yee haw?
pureVENOM: This is what lack of sleep will do to you, people!! Remember to get your needed daily amount of sleep of about eight to nine hourz!!
Everybody: ?
pureVENOM: (looks at soda) Alright!! A thirty pack!! Not bad!! (grabs a can of Mountian Dew)
Rose: (looks at everyone) You guys are having a party here without ME!?!?!?
Everyone: ROSE!?!?!? BUT YOU'RE DEAD!!!
Miranda: @#^*&%$(&*^&$^$*!! That $^&%*&$ is supposed to be ^&$&%*&% dead!
Rose: Dead? Don't you guys ever pay attention to what I say? As long as I have this choker on, I can't die. I'm IMMORTAAAALLLLLL!!!!! Mwa hahahahaha!!
Lloyd and Lavitz: Alright!! Hand over the Dragoon Spirits!!
Everybody: 0_o;;;;;; !??!!??
Lloyd: Dart, gimmie back my Divine Dragoon Spirit!! (looks around) Er, Dart? Where are you!? Dammit!! This ruinz the plan!!
A Muffled Voice From the Closet: MmmmmMmmphhHhh!!!
Rose: ? (opens the closet)
Dart: (falls out, flat on his face.)
pureVENOM: Ouch. . I know that hurts.
Dart: (leaps back up) You!! This is MY Dragoon Spirit!!!
Lloyd: No way!! I just let you borrow it!! Use your old one!!
Dart: I can't!! My dad stole it!!
Rose: (smacks him) No he didn't. It was his Dragoon Spirit first.
Lavitz: I want my Dragoon Spirit back too!
Albert: O.O MINE!!! (runs away with it)
Lavitz: Hey!! (chases him)
Lloyd: (tacklez Dart.)
Lavitz: (tacklez Albert.)
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pureVENOM: Well, time to end this fic! I hope you readerz enjoyed it!! ^_^ Oh, ya wanna know what happened, right?
Well, they started fighting over the Dragoon Spirits. Of course, Lloyd beat Dart's ass with his incredible strength and got his Divine Dragoon Spirit back.
Lavitz got his Jade Dragoon Spirit back too. Even though he was only at like level 18 and Albert was at level 38. Yeah, I helped Lavitz a little. Well okay, I helped him a lot. He's my favorite character, all right!?!?
Afterwards, Lloyd got greedy and wanted to be immortal and tried to steal Rose's choker. Then Rose almost strangled him to death. Heh.
Miranda found some beer in the closet and she, Kongol, Shana, and Haschel got drunk.
Shana passed out and Kongol started singing a really creepy Barney song so I beat him to a bloody pulp with Meru's hammer.
Then I drank the whole case of Mountain Dew and because Meru was being really hyperly annoying, Lloyd blew her up.
I was gonna write all of this out in the fic, but I got lazy. Sorry!
That's all. Bye nowz!! ^_^