Author's note: This is the fourth song on the BREAK THE CYCLE LP, from Staind. The bad part about .txt files is that you don't have all the options of text and font.
Warning: Ep 50 coupling. /evil grin/.
//song lyrics//
______________________________
Author: Rae (penname)
Title: Break the cycle-It's been awhile
Content: Sorato/Yamora. Yaoi hints, plus others.
"Yeah, we do." Matt nodded, and she sat down on the cooler that TK had abandoned. "How are you?"
"Good, I'm good." She looked away from the intensity of his blue gaze, and down at her left hand. Sh still wore the ring that he had given her six years ago, when he promised to give up the band and marry her. "You?"
"I can't really complain." He followed her gaze and swallowed. Hard. This wasn't exactly the way you were supposed to talk with the woman you were supposed to marry, not after having been apart for nearly two years. They talked on the phone, but it was sporadic and often interrupted on Matt's end by his band.
She had tried touring with him at one point, but had gone back to school for her degree. The late night parties, and constant lack of privacy wore on her quickly, even though he never seemed to notice.
//It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you//
A long silence followed, neither really knowing what to say. Matt spoke up. "I'm sorry." She looked at him, her eyes soft and filled with understanding.
"There's no need to apologize, Matt. You deserved the respect and adulation of your fans, and I realize that there's little else that can compare than a successful concert. I was there, watching, for a while, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember. You were miserable, and I ignored you, until there was a camera in my face." Her smile was pained, but still gentle.
"You were happy, and that was enough for a while." But not forever.
//And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you//
She had studied business and clothing design, and had been accepted into a large corporation right away. Now she was a VP, with her own staff. Biyomon was her assistant, though she had been offered a vice presidency also.
When she stopped traveling with him, Matt had started to have less and less time to talk to her, and they had drifted apart. To save part of their failing relationship, he had taken a break, and spent a month at home, six years ago. He had proposed the day he left, and they had parted with the hope that it would work between them from then on.
//But everything I can't
remember as fucked up as it
all may seem
the consequences
that I've rendered//
It had just gone hill from there. They barely wrote, they only spoke with each other one day a week, that slipped into one day a month. Neither really wanted to be the one to hurt the other, so they stayed in a relationship that neither was happy.
He looked down, leaning over to put his elbows on his knees, so that their faces were closer. "I never meant to become so distant. I just didn't know what to say, what to write. I should have gotten my head out of my ass sooner. I put you through so much shit, and I never took the time to care."
"But I knew that you did, even if you couldn't express how much. I never felt the lack of our friendship. You were always with me, in my heart and mind, and I knew that you thought of me, sometimes. That was enough."
"I can't believe that you don't hate me." His blue eyes were incredulous.
//I've stretched
myself beyond my means
Its' been awhile
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted//
"Matt, I don't hold any hard feelings from the last several years." She smiled at him with a teasing sparkle in her eyes. "I know how hard it is for a big rock star to talk to us little people."
He smiled in response, a small tilting of his lips. "So, what's new?"
"Nothing much. I'm putting together a small brochure that the company wants to send out, advertising some of my latest designs. It will bolster my rep, and hopefully, increase sales."
"You're amazing, you know that?" His smile widened into a small grin.
"Of course." They laughed softly together, their knees almost touching. They were comfortable together, even after such a long time apart. That ability to relax with each other was the reason that they had started dating. There had never been any pretense of being in love, though some of their friends had assumed that.
"Nice ego, Takenouchi." He brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear with gentle fingers. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." She smiled, leaning her cheek into his palm. With a sigh, she pulled back and touched her right hand to the ring on the left one. "I think that you might want this back."
//It's been awhile
Since I could say I love myself as well
It's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things
up just like I always do//
He watched as she removed the silver band. On one side were her initials, TS, and on the other, a replica of the crest of friendship. He had had it especially crafted for her, his gift to his future wife, and a bribe for her to stick with him.
She handed him the band with a slight smile. "I can't believe that six years passed so quickly." He nodded in agreement, putting the ring in his back pocket. "Rumor has it that you're coming home for good."
"Where did you hear that?" He wasn't really surprised. It wasn't exactly a secret, but he hadn't announced it to the press, yet. He had one more concert, in a week, and then his contract was up. The band was already lining up a new singer, and he would still write some of their music.
//And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to
disappear when I'm with you
But everything I can't remember
as fucked up as it all may seem//
"I didn't, really. I just assumed that that's what you told TK to make him so happy." He nodded, responding to her initial inquiry. "So, when were you going to tell the rest of us?" She waved around to encompass the rest of the digi-destined.
"I was hoping to do it today, before anyone left. I kind of wanted to tell someone else, first." He looked away guiltily, but she just smiled gently. She was a compassionate person, and she had understood his feelings long before. She reached out a hand and covered the two he had clasped above his knees.
"Have courage, and friendship will find love." She laughed slightly as he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm horrible at poetry. Try this: Have love, and friendship will find courage."
//The consequences that I've rendered,
I''ve gone and fucked up things again.
Yhy must I feel this way
Just make this go away,
just one more peaceful day.//
"Thank you, Sora. You're a true friend." He took her hand between his, and leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Why couldn't I fall in love with you?"
"Because you were meant to love another. And so was I." Brown eyes met blue, and her smile widened. "Don't look so surprised, or betrayed. I'm not seeing anyone else. I just...I fell in love with another, and I've been waiting for you to get back. I didn't want to break our engagement over the phone."
He smiled slightly mockingly, not really angry or hurt, just feeling left out. "I thought this was too easy." His expression softened when he saw the worry in hers. "I wish that I had known, though that's my fault, too. This could have happened so much sooner."
//It's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry//
"Oh, Yamato!" She sighed in exasperation. "Stop blaming yourself for losing touch. Anyone of us could have gone to you and dragged your ass back, but we didn't. We're as much to blame for your distance as you."
"I wish that you had." There was a sadness in his eyes that she'd never seen. "I really missed you guys. I know that I did it myself, but when noone pushed, I figured that they didn't really care. I know that that was wrong!" He said when she opened her mouth to protest. "I know that everyone cared, but I felt so alone, especially after we became engaged."
//And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way
the candle lights your face
But I can still remember
just the way you taste//
"I'm sorry, too, Matt." She refered to him by his nickname again. "I could have tried harder to be a better friend, but I became caught up in what I was doing here. We're all to blame, in a way. You for cutting us off, and us for not trying harder."
"I kept hoping that you'd decide to come back on the tour with me. It was a lot easier, having a true friend along, one that knew me beyond my voice. I felt really lost, but I couldn't ask you to give it up. I knew that I was being selfish, but I didn't care."
"You're human, Matt. You wanted comfort, and you withdrew farther when you didn't find it. I thought, once, about going back, too. It was the week of finals, that first year at college, and I was frustrated and stressed beyond belief. Then Izzy offered to help me, and I realized how badly I wanted to pass."
"You're really good at what you do, Sora. I'm glad, now, that you didn't give it up for me." The sincerity in his voice was unmistakeable.
//But everything I can't Remember
as fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me I cannot blame this on my
father he did the best he could for me//
"So am I." Matt leaned up, setting his elbow on the table. "So, what are you going to do now?"
She stood up, dusting off the seat of her pants needlessly. With a measured look, Matt thought for a moment. "The same as you. Go find the one I love and tell him. And hope that he'll accept my apology. I haven't called or written him since I asked you to marry me. I think that we've spoken all of three words together. He tried to communicate, but I couldn't bring myself to respond."
//Its been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been awhile sicne I said
I'm sorry//
"Good luck, Ishida Yamato, though you shouldn't need it. He's been waiting for you to come to your senses for six years." She bowed slightly, then walked away to do as he suggested.
______________________
Bad, good, horribly horrificly dull? Chapter four: "Epiphany". Soshiro/Koura. You are warned.
Warning: Ep 50 coupling. /evil grin/.
//song lyrics//
______________________________
Author: Rae (penname)
Title: Break the cycle-It's been awhile
Content: Sorato/Yamora. Yaoi hints, plus others.
"Yeah, we do." Matt nodded, and she sat down on the cooler that TK had abandoned. "How are you?"
"Good, I'm good." She looked away from the intensity of his blue gaze, and down at her left hand. Sh still wore the ring that he had given her six years ago, when he promised to give up the band and marry her. "You?"
"I can't really complain." He followed her gaze and swallowed. Hard. This wasn't exactly the way you were supposed to talk with the woman you were supposed to marry, not after having been apart for nearly two years. They talked on the phone, but it was sporadic and often interrupted on Matt's end by his band.
She had tried touring with him at one point, but had gone back to school for her degree. The late night parties, and constant lack of privacy wore on her quickly, even though he never seemed to notice.
//It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you//
A long silence followed, neither really knowing what to say. Matt spoke up. "I'm sorry." She looked at him, her eyes soft and filled with understanding.
"There's no need to apologize, Matt. You deserved the respect and adulation of your fans, and I realize that there's little else that can compare than a successful concert. I was there, watching, for a while, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember. You were miserable, and I ignored you, until there was a camera in my face." Her smile was pained, but still gentle.
"You were happy, and that was enough for a while." But not forever.
//And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you//
She had studied business and clothing design, and had been accepted into a large corporation right away. Now she was a VP, with her own staff. Biyomon was her assistant, though she had been offered a vice presidency also.
When she stopped traveling with him, Matt had started to have less and less time to talk to her, and they had drifted apart. To save part of their failing relationship, he had taken a break, and spent a month at home, six years ago. He had proposed the day he left, and they had parted with the hope that it would work between them from then on.
//But everything I can't
remember as fucked up as it
all may seem
the consequences
that I've rendered//
It had just gone hill from there. They barely wrote, they only spoke with each other one day a week, that slipped into one day a month. Neither really wanted to be the one to hurt the other, so they stayed in a relationship that neither was happy.
He looked down, leaning over to put his elbows on his knees, so that their faces were closer. "I never meant to become so distant. I just didn't know what to say, what to write. I should have gotten my head out of my ass sooner. I put you through so much shit, and I never took the time to care."
"But I knew that you did, even if you couldn't express how much. I never felt the lack of our friendship. You were always with me, in my heart and mind, and I knew that you thought of me, sometimes. That was enough."
"I can't believe that you don't hate me." His blue eyes were incredulous.
//I've stretched
myself beyond my means
Its' been awhile
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted//
"Matt, I don't hold any hard feelings from the last several years." She smiled at him with a teasing sparkle in her eyes. "I know how hard it is for a big rock star to talk to us little people."
He smiled in response, a small tilting of his lips. "So, what's new?"
"Nothing much. I'm putting together a small brochure that the company wants to send out, advertising some of my latest designs. It will bolster my rep, and hopefully, increase sales."
"You're amazing, you know that?" His smile widened into a small grin.
"Of course." They laughed softly together, their knees almost touching. They were comfortable together, even after such a long time apart. That ability to relax with each other was the reason that they had started dating. There had never been any pretense of being in love, though some of their friends had assumed that.
"Nice ego, Takenouchi." He brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear with gentle fingers. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." She smiled, leaning her cheek into his palm. With a sigh, she pulled back and touched her right hand to the ring on the left one. "I think that you might want this back."
//It's been awhile
Since I could say I love myself as well
It's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things
up just like I always do//
He watched as she removed the silver band. On one side were her initials, TS, and on the other, a replica of the crest of friendship. He had had it especially crafted for her, his gift to his future wife, and a bribe for her to stick with him.
She handed him the band with a slight smile. "I can't believe that six years passed so quickly." He nodded in agreement, putting the ring in his back pocket. "Rumor has it that you're coming home for good."
"Where did you hear that?" He wasn't really surprised. It wasn't exactly a secret, but he hadn't announced it to the press, yet. He had one more concert, in a week, and then his contract was up. The band was already lining up a new singer, and he would still write some of their music.
//And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to
disappear when I'm with you
But everything I can't remember
as fucked up as it all may seem//
"I didn't, really. I just assumed that that's what you told TK to make him so happy." He nodded, responding to her initial inquiry. "So, when were you going to tell the rest of us?" She waved around to encompass the rest of the digi-destined.
"I was hoping to do it today, before anyone left. I kind of wanted to tell someone else, first." He looked away guiltily, but she just smiled gently. She was a compassionate person, and she had understood his feelings long before. She reached out a hand and covered the two he had clasped above his knees.
"Have courage, and friendship will find love." She laughed slightly as he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm horrible at poetry. Try this: Have love, and friendship will find courage."
//The consequences that I've rendered,
I''ve gone and fucked up things again.
Yhy must I feel this way
Just make this go away,
just one more peaceful day.//
"Thank you, Sora. You're a true friend." He took her hand between his, and leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Why couldn't I fall in love with you?"
"Because you were meant to love another. And so was I." Brown eyes met blue, and her smile widened. "Don't look so surprised, or betrayed. I'm not seeing anyone else. I just...I fell in love with another, and I've been waiting for you to get back. I didn't want to break our engagement over the phone."
He smiled slightly mockingly, not really angry or hurt, just feeling left out. "I thought this was too easy." His expression softened when he saw the worry in hers. "I wish that I had known, though that's my fault, too. This could have happened so much sooner."
//It's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry//
"Oh, Yamato!" She sighed in exasperation. "Stop blaming yourself for losing touch. Anyone of us could have gone to you and dragged your ass back, but we didn't. We're as much to blame for your distance as you."
"I wish that you had." There was a sadness in his eyes that she'd never seen. "I really missed you guys. I know that I did it myself, but when noone pushed, I figured that they didn't really care. I know that that was wrong!" He said when she opened her mouth to protest. "I know that everyone cared, but I felt so alone, especially after we became engaged."
//And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way
the candle lights your face
But I can still remember
just the way you taste//
"I'm sorry, too, Matt." She refered to him by his nickname again. "I could have tried harder to be a better friend, but I became caught up in what I was doing here. We're all to blame, in a way. You for cutting us off, and us for not trying harder."
"I kept hoping that you'd decide to come back on the tour with me. It was a lot easier, having a true friend along, one that knew me beyond my voice. I felt really lost, but I couldn't ask you to give it up. I knew that I was being selfish, but I didn't care."
"You're human, Matt. You wanted comfort, and you withdrew farther when you didn't find it. I thought, once, about going back, too. It was the week of finals, that first year at college, and I was frustrated and stressed beyond belief. Then Izzy offered to help me, and I realized how badly I wanted to pass."
"You're really good at what you do, Sora. I'm glad, now, that you didn't give it up for me." The sincerity in his voice was unmistakeable.
//But everything I can't Remember
as fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me I cannot blame this on my
father he did the best he could for me//
"So am I." Matt leaned up, setting his elbow on the table. "So, what are you going to do now?"
She stood up, dusting off the seat of her pants needlessly. With a measured look, Matt thought for a moment. "The same as you. Go find the one I love and tell him. And hope that he'll accept my apology. I haven't called or written him since I asked you to marry me. I think that we've spoken all of three words together. He tried to communicate, but I couldn't bring myself to respond."
//Its been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been awhile sicne I said
I'm sorry//
"Good luck, Ishida Yamato, though you shouldn't need it. He's been waiting for you to come to your senses for six years." She bowed slightly, then walked away to do as he suggested.
______________________
Bad, good, horribly horrificly dull? Chapter four: "Epiphany". Soshiro/Koura. You are warned.