Kevin Googe looked around himself. He appeared to be on some sort of arid land with dry trees here and there. On the trees were hanging melted clocks. He was bewildered.
"Hallo?" he called, "anyone there?"
The words didn't seem to leave like normal ones do, these hung around, skulking under rocks.
INDEED.
The voice was not unlike that of tombstones being used as a set of cutlery would have if they could talk.
Kevin whipped around. Behind him was standing a skeleton, seven feet high, wearing a long black robe and holding a huge scythe in one hand. In the other, he held a clock.
"Oh." said Kevin.
Death nodded.
"Where am I?" he asked.
IN YOUR AFTERLIFE.
Kevin blinked.
DO NOT WORRY.
He blinked again. The Grim Reaper was a about to say something, but was interrupted.
"'s a bit, how can I put this, stale isn't it?" asked Kevin.
Death sighed, he had a deep sigh, with the sound of wind passing right through the chest, which is what it was.
THIS IS NOT QUITE THE AFTERLIFE, he said, IT'S A BIT TECHNICAL. YOU WILL ARRIVE IN THE CORRECTLY DESIGNATED PARADISE/HEAVEN/REINCARNATED BODY (SELECT APPROPRIATE) ONCE YOU HAVE GOTTEN A MESSAGE ACROSS TO THOSE WHOM YOU NEARLY KILLED BY MISTAKE.
Kevin looked at him,
"You rehearsed that, didn't you?"
Death hung his head, with a noise of bone on bone and sheepishly handed him a piece of paper.
Kevin read it. He read it again. Just to be on the safe side, he read it once more.
"And how am I meant to send this to them?"
THAT IS UP TO YOU.
"Oh."
ANYTHING ELSE, ONLY THERE'S A PLAGUE IN HOWONDALAND, AND I HATE DEALING WITH QEUES.
"'s a bit deep innit, I mean, a bit pessimistic an' all."
THE GODS PLAY GAMES, and, with that, he clicked his fingers. An ebony white horse that had miraculously found some grass to graze trotted over. Death climbed on and clicked his teeth. The horse took a few steps into the air and vanished.
Just to be absolutely certain, Kevin re-read the message.
"Hallo?" he called, "anyone there?"
The words didn't seem to leave like normal ones do, these hung around, skulking under rocks.
INDEED.
The voice was not unlike that of tombstones being used as a set of cutlery would have if they could talk.
Kevin whipped around. Behind him was standing a skeleton, seven feet high, wearing a long black robe and holding a huge scythe in one hand. In the other, he held a clock.
"Oh." said Kevin.
Death nodded.
"Where am I?" he asked.
IN YOUR AFTERLIFE.
Kevin blinked.
DO NOT WORRY.
He blinked again. The Grim Reaper was a about to say something, but was interrupted.
"'s a bit, how can I put this, stale isn't it?" asked Kevin.
Death sighed, he had a deep sigh, with the sound of wind passing right through the chest, which is what it was.
THIS IS NOT QUITE THE AFTERLIFE, he said, IT'S A BIT TECHNICAL. YOU WILL ARRIVE IN THE CORRECTLY DESIGNATED PARADISE/HEAVEN/REINCARNATED BODY (SELECT APPROPRIATE) ONCE YOU HAVE GOTTEN A MESSAGE ACROSS TO THOSE WHOM YOU NEARLY KILLED BY MISTAKE.
Kevin looked at him,
"You rehearsed that, didn't you?"
Death hung his head, with a noise of bone on bone and sheepishly handed him a piece of paper.
Kevin read it. He read it again. Just to be on the safe side, he read it once more.
"And how am I meant to send this to them?"
THAT IS UP TO YOU.
"Oh."
ANYTHING ELSE, ONLY THERE'S A PLAGUE IN HOWONDALAND, AND I HATE DEALING WITH QEUES.
"'s a bit deep innit, I mean, a bit pessimistic an' all."
THE GODS PLAY GAMES, and, with that, he clicked his fingers. An ebony white horse that had miraculously found some grass to graze trotted over. Death climbed on and clicked his teeth. The horse took a few steps into the air and vanished.
Just to be absolutely certain, Kevin re-read the message.