Me*bored and falling asleep*
*Peter Pettigrew appears*
Me: Oh goody, something to torture!
Peter*squeaks while running around crazily*: No, no! Help me!
Me: Never you evil rat! Die, worm, die! AVADA KEDAVRA!!!
*Peter dies*
Sirius*taps me on the shoulder*: Ahem.
Me: Yes?
Sirius: Sorry, you can't kill him yet. We need him to prove me innocent.
Me: Aw, crap! I forgot.
*Peter reappears*
Peter*sees Sirius*: Ahhh!*tries to hide behind me but is too fat* Help! He'll kill me!
Me and Sirius: I wish.
Me: I can still send him to the pits of Hades for a while, right?
*Sends Peter to the pits of Hades for a while*
Sirius: That wasn't very original.
Me*brandishing keyboard at him*: What did you say?
Sirius*backing away*: Uh- nothing!
Me*closing in*: I could have sworn you said you wanted to join him...
*I start to type Sends Sirius to the pits...*
Sirius: Help!
*James appears*
James*confused*: Huh? Where am I?! * looks at me* Who the heck is that?!
Sirius*earnestly*: You don't want to insult the fan fiction writer. You really don't.
James: Um, I mean, who is that lovely lady?
Lily *appears and smacks James on the head*: Are you flirting with the fan fic writer?
James: Uh...
*Suddenly a bunch of scary death eaters and Mrs. Norris appear*
Lily and James: EEP!!
Sirius*to me*: Very funny. Nice touch.
Me: Er-
Sirius: They almost look real.
Me: Er-
*Sirius walks over to the death eaters who attack him*
Me: Er, I tried to tell you.
Sirius*drags himself to his feet*: You're the fan fiction writer, right?
Me: Duh, but I didn't do that.
Sirius*scared*: But, if you aren't making this up, who is?
Evil voice:
James:*horrified*: But it can only be-
Evil voice*cuts him off*: Yes! You have guessed it! It is I! The one you all fear!
Me, Sirius, James, Lily, the death eaters, and Mrs. Norris:
Terry Boot* really pissed*: AHHHHH!!!!* jumps up and down whining like a baby* ME ME ME! Terry Boot! The one who's going to destroy you all!!!
We all stare at him blankly.
Terry*looks at us in amazement*: Did you hear what I said?! You're all mine!*laughs and points wand at us*
Terry*Waits for us to beg for mercy. Finally gives up*: I, Terry Boot will now destroy you all!! Watch as the minor characters take over the world!*pauses* Or at least this fan fiction!
Sirius*mutters*: What an accomplishment that will be! It already sucks.
I smack Sirius
Sirius:Ow!
Terry: Quiet! Pay ATTENTION while I murder you please! Now you will see how the ones you look over while you read can conquer you! You can't stop me! HA HA!*laughs evily*
*Remus Lupin appears behind Terry and transforms*
Terry*freaked out*: NO! NEVER! NO! I can't die! I'm a ... MINOR CHARACTER!!!!
*GULP*
Silence
Me: Was that really strange or was it just me?
Remus *turns back into a human and makes a face*: Bleaugh! What a nasty flavor! No more eating minor characters for me!
Sirius: Try living on rats...
James: How 'bout finishing them off.*Points at the death eaters*
*Death eaters cower*
A Death eater*throws wand over his shoulder*: No need for that!
Another death eater* hides knife behind his back*: We've done no harm!
Me: Let's do this fairly.
Death eaters*relieved*: Phew!
Me: I'll decide!
Death eaters*gasp*
Me: Bye bye!*waves at them*
Death eaters: AHHHH*fall of the edge of the world*
Me: Let's go before Susan Bones or someine bursts in.
Sirius*holds up a hand*: Hold on. I'm still confused. Let's get this straight. You, the fan fic author, are not controlling this fic.
Me: Correct.
Sirius: I am not in charge either. Neither are Lily, James, or Remus, right?
Lily, James, and Remus: Right.
Sirius: And obviously whats-his-name wasn't either so WHO IS IT? WHO THE HECK IS IN CONTROL OF OUR DESTINIES?!?!?
MEOW
We turn around.
Mrs. Norris: Meowhahahahahaha!!!!
Yeah, that's the end. DON"T ASK. I think I'll go now. And bring on the flames. Review if ya really want to...