Chapter
4: Truth and Fear.
"Listen up everybody. I will get the campfire going big again and
then I want you all to gather around. We have stuff to talk about." It
took Taichi three times to get the fire going, but he did. "Ok come on over."
The
Chosen wearily approached him. This was
not going to be good. He couldn't
possibly expect them to talk about their dreams now. He wouldn't understand. Not one of them would understand the others. These were thoughts that were most intimate to them and them
alone. How could they understand?
"Sora it's your idea want to
start?"
"Ahhh…Sure I guess. Just give me a minute. Tell them about it to let me get ready. This will be hard."
"Guy's something is wrong
here. All of you know it. Daisuke and Takeru just beat each other
badly. All of us are shaken up. Hikari can't stop crying. We have to get the bottom of this. Mimi's game of Truth or Dare gave Sora an
idea. We will all play Truth. After one of us finishes telling about
what's bothering us the next Chosen begins. But I need to I need to know did each of you have a dream and a voice in
it similar to the one that stopped Daisuke and Takeru from killing each other?"
"Ye-Ye-Yes." Only a few answered but Taichi saw it in the
others eyes.
Sora spoke "Good this will
help us understand each other and our dreams better. This will not be easy, if your dreams were like mine." She drew in her breath. Here goes nothing. "I had a dream that my father and I were
having a conversation. What makes this
so strange is that after we started to argue he would make accusations towards
me. Like why was I being such a bad
daughter?…I began to cry, asking him why he left. Did he love me anymore? He answered never to every question…but then he stopped and just kept
telling me I broke my destiny. I was
being a horrible person…I…I…I told him I did not love him any more. I became so confused. He told me I was lying. And I didn't know
what I was talking about. I began to
hate him. It hurt me so bad, by own
father turned his back on me like I was a common whore. I was given the crest of love. And yet I couldn't love my own dad…I can't
finish…I have told you all I can. "
"Sora, I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me at least?"
"Oh Tai, I couldn't burden
any of you like this."
"It wou…I had…but" Taichi
had nothing to say. Yet he had
everything not say. It will be
ok. I'm here, I will take care of
everything. But…none of it
mattered. He knew what to say now. It is so hard to say these things in front
of everybody.
"I…I…I…Lo…Lov…Love…I Love
You" was barely whispered
Sora threw herself onto
Taichi. Losing herself in him, she
cried.
"Brother's right" Hikari
said softly. I must do this. "In my dreams…"
"Hikari…don't…"
"I have to Takeru. We all do. The voice turned out to be K…K…Ken's. I tried to reason with him. He
betrayed us. He started talking of all
the kills he has, had, and the kills he wants. He began listing off our names. I tried to fight back. He was
too great of a force though. I thought
my greatest fear would be Vamdemon returning. And it would be if Ken had never become the Digi-Emperor. He hurt so many innocent lives. With out rhyme or reason, except for
power. At least our DigiMon enemies
only cared what was immediately in front of them. Ken wanted kill just because he could. The more I struggled, the worse it got. He never listened. Always
saying I ruined it. I am the reason he
is weak. He started to slap me, hit
me. I fled as far as I could but the
voice always caught up with me. I know
he didn't know any better, but he can return to that. That scares me. His
sullen withdrawn demeanor is a constant reminder. I try to suppress it because I saw he was trying so hard. But if it was, and might still, be easy for
him to return to the dark…what about us? Ken, I'm sorry…I can't explain myself. I…I…I…am sorry. I never meant…" She couldn't finish. The sobs were choking her.
"Miss Hikari, it is ok, I
understand. I think that everyday."
She sobbed alone. No one knew what to do. Daisuke spoke up.
"Go to her Takeru. She needs you."
"Daisuke…"
"Just go before I do baka…"
With that he turned away. "Who is
next?"
Iori really did make heads
to tails of this whole situation. He
just figured he needed to go. "The
Voice in my dream was a mix of every bodies voices. I doubt my skills as a Chosen. It asks me continually was I meant to be one. Do I have what it takes to continue on. It doesn't seem to understand that I ask that question to myself
everyday. I don't see what I contribute
to the group, nor if I was gone do I think I would matter. You all would say this was foolish, without
me we wouldn't have survived. We had to
work as a team. You maybe right but I
still can not help but doubt it. I
don't want to bother you guys, I just want to help but sometimes I feel it is
not enough. I want to prove him wrong,
but I don't know how."
"Don't worry Iori, we will
figure out what's going on. You will
be, and are, needed, and wanted. You
will understand one day." Daisuke
commented.
Yamato stood up. He had
had enough and was going to do something about it.
"This is childish. We need to find a way into the Digital
World. We don't know if something bad
is happening. I refuse to sit here any
longer and play some stupid little game."
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?
"Where are you, tell me."
"I will not play these games
any longer."
"Yamato calm down. You don't have to go now. I will."
"Jyou…"
"No Mimi, I have to face
this sometime. Why not tonight? It
looks like we don't have anything better to do. My dream was not pleasant to begin with. I was arguing with my father. We started about my career." Humph…I should say his career. "He couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to
be a doctor. That concept seemed
foreign to him. It is all I know
now. It is too late for me to explain
it to him that he was pushing me too hard. But I will live with that. I
gave up on that one. It has is
advantages. Its good money and I will be
able to support a family…if I ever have one. I have almost given up on that one, too. He began on my being Chosen. I told him it was not my fault I was. But now that I am I have a great responsibility to him and the
world. That outweighs just him by a
lot. I will continue this as long as
possible. I will stand up to him about
the rest of the areas of my life. Its
funny, it didn't really seem like arguments as it went on. He got softer. Listened more. I asked
him why this was important any way. He
said because I have to make sure you are right for her. Her who I said. Mimi." Jyou stopped
mid-sentence. I have to own up to
it. "Mimi…I think I am in love with you. I have for some time now. He was
right…that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have shamed myself. No that's not right. I have to face up to my father and
myself. He will have to accept my
decision about everything outside the medical field. I am sorry Mimi. I
shouldn't have…"
"Jyou…don't, you talk to
much." She kissed him lightly to shut
him up. It worked. Miyako was having a hard time containing her
self anymore. She dreamed of darkness,
nothing ness. It talked to her. What does it mean? Am I shallow? Or so damn
stupid I don't understand? I don't
know. Can they help me?
"Miyako, something on your
mind?"
"Yes…No…I don't know. I am so confused. My dream and the voice in it didn't make sense. I start out in darkness, nothing. Then I move to my bedroom. Both times I never get to see the
voice. It remains hidden from me. I believe it stems from this problem I
have. I could be wrong. As you may or may not know Daisuke and I
have been having sex for a while now. I
thought I was going to do him a favor, let him release him self and his
problems. I thought I liked him enough
not to get hurt. I was wrong. I sat down for the past two weeks, talking
to myself to make sense of it all. I
realized that I gave myself to him because it was something I wanted. I was using him to fulfill a want I
had. I used him to bring pleasure to
me. I used him" Tears well in her
eyes. Then she realized something
else. "The talk behind my back was
true. I have been acting like a
slut. Only using a man to give me what
I wanted, not thinking of him or his needs. I tried not to think about it. I
failed. These dreams have been coming
to me for a little over two weeks now. I plunge into darkness and a voice speaks to me. It starts out soothing, calming, almost
loving. I believe it to be
Daisuke. After a bit I realize I want
it to be him. I want it to be him so
much." She blushed. "He begins caressing me, continuing his
sweet words. He…begins…getting…rougher." Holding back sobs. "His soft caress turns to a bitter slap. I try, but can't, fight back. He starts calling me names. SLUT! WHORE! USER! UNWORTHY! I realize it is not Daisuke, but I understand he was telling the
truth. I become frightened and curl
into myself as much as possible. I cry
out for Daisuke. He never comes. I cannot even control it in my dreams. He never comes. I have to go to him. The
voice tells me only he can save me. I
am scared. I plead with him to stop
then. Leave me alone. He tells me I ruined my chance for him to
save me when I slept with Daisuke for no reason other than personal gain. I slump down realizing he was right. He leaves me alone, like everybody
else. I don't want to be alone. Yet I am everyday. I never intended this to get like it was. I never meant to use you Daisuke. I am sorry. I want to be with you, only you, and I can't. You don't even want me." She fled into the forest sobbing.
"Miyako, stop!" Taichi yelled. "Kuso! This is getting
pretty weird." He looks over to
Daisuke. Daisuke is staring off into
the direction she went. He walks over
to him, and nudges him. Daisuke just
looks at him confused. Taichi smacks
him lightly on the back of the head. "Go." Daisuke understood that
one and runs off after her catching her and bringing her back. He sits down and gently places her head on
his shoulder. She doesn't even realize
where she was. She only cries. How did she have the same dream as
me? I know her circumstances are
different but darkness spoke to me too… Taichi got lost in his mind.
I never knew. Koushiro thought. I am sorry as well Lilly. This is turning into a mess.