Entry Four
--The rain stopped, finally. It's muddy as hell out now though, and as we
were crossing the courtyard to go to the dining room for lunch (me, Freya,
Eiko and Steiner clanking along behind) I guess I was still feeling weird
from last night 'cause I just went and picked up Eiko and Freya too and crossed
the mud with them. Eiko made some kind of annoying noise and said she didn't
think I had it in me, so I almost dropped her in the mud but didn't. Freya
was blushing some, you wouldn't think you could see it on her face, her being
a demi-human and all, but you can, and she said she could have jumped it
just fine but thank you anyway. Even though she wasn't really impressed I
kind of liked doing it. See what all that last night did to me?
Shit.
Oh, in case you were wondering, I ended up sleeping
as best I could sitting there on the couch with her using me for her damn
pillow. I was expecting her to say something about it, but she was gone after
I managed to fall asleep one time and when we met up again she acted like
nothing happened and she'd been here the whole time and hadn't just come
back. It pisses me off a little but at the same time I'm glad she's not suddenly
acting like I'm her best girlfriend.
For some reason today I remembered the time when we
were trying to get into Terra and had to fight at all the shrines. I resented
Zidane sticking me with Freya, but who else would he have sent with me? Well,
I guess Freya telling me her stuff last night reminded me of this, now that
I remember it. When Zidane came back for me in Ipsen's Castle I sort of had
an eye-opener and I kind of told her about it when the Fire Shrine guardian
popped up. I wasn't planning to tell her that I had been wrong about myself
and everything all these years, but I'm sure she wasn't planning on telling
me about that ass Fratley last night either.
I think after that she really did become my friend.
I never really knew Vivi too well and Eiko goes out of her way to piss me
off sometimes. Steiner and Dagger I still don't know too well either,
and Quina's Quina. If I was meant to know someone and Zidane
had everyone else to deal with because he's our connection then maybe
it's natural for Freya and I ah, hell, I don't know what I'm saying.
I'm just rambling about nothing. But if she happened to change her opinion
of me when we fought at the shrine, I think I started to then too. After
the fight with the guardian we were pretty torn up but she didn't act like
it even bothered her, even when she was bleeding all over the place. I couldn't
help but notice that, how strong she is on the battlefield and then her eyes
last night after coming all this way
I really need to shut up now. I'm making a fool out
of myself here and the more I write the dumber it gets. She's gonna have
to leave again sometime and then I'll get back to normal.