Chapter 6: Truth and Fear, Pt 2
The campfire was still going strong. It was now Three in the morning. The feelings were very tense. Five of the Chosen had taken their feelings
and shared them, no matter what the results were. Then there were seven.
Koushiro was diligently typing on his on his
laptop. He felt he couldn't tell
anybody. How could they
understand. He loved a DigiMon. He believed the feeling was mutual. She was the physical manifestation of his
true love, computer sciences. Whenever
he thought about it seemed complicated at times, so how could they know or
help. They didn't even really know him,
or understand him. He knew them all
better. Taichi was his best friend and
even he did not know Koushiro. Koushiro helped him and the others numerous
times. They all shared a physical bond,
but he was always the outsider.
"No one else is willing to talk? Well Koushiro what do make of all this so
far?" Taichi asked.
"Well I am beginning to see the purpose of
the voice. It acts like a mirror
forcing you to reveal and face your biggest problem or fear. Also so far the voice believes us to have
committed some serious grievance. We
must assume it is a being of great power. Much stronger than anything else so far. We can assume this because Piyomon could not Digi-Volve even with
Sora's help. The obvious decision is to
go into the Digital World and try to find the source. Once we get there we need to find Palmon…I mean our
partners." He stopped, slipped because
he was worried. He cussed himself. Baka-yaro. How could I have said that? They don't need to know.
"Koushiro…"
"Humph. I guess I forced myself to go next. I slipped my tongue, no need to pretend. I dreamt about Lillymon and me together. We have had this relationship for some time
now. In the dream we talked about our
future together. The only thing that
worried me was she sounded so cold talking to me. Mimi can tell you, Lilly…Lillymon is not cold, ever. We believe we love each other. But she is just a physical manifestation of
data. We can not have children. Or at least so far it does not look that
way. We are committing something
wrong. She's is data, I am human. We have crossed so many boundaries. I might as well have made love to my
computer. But love is real. I cannot mistake this emotion. So I will continue to see her, right or
wrong. Even if that voice tells me
different. I still have questions, especially if she does bear a child. But I will face those on my own."
So Methodical, but
you still don't
understand. Soon you will. Koushiro saw these words appear on his screen. That is true. I still don't know but in time I will, for it is knowledge. I must always obtain knowledge. He typed back. Sometimes
I wonder about him. He is concerned, it
is obvious, but he is acting so calm. Mimi thought. Takeru let go of
Hikari and stood up. I guess it's my
turn.
"I need to explain myself. My actions earlier tie into my dream. In my dream I was fighting with
Daisuke. He couldn't get it trough his
thick skull that Hikari did not want him. He kept taunting me. I got mad,
fighting back, I started yelling too. I
got angry and careless. He told me I
was unworthy. I didn't deserve her
love. What did he know. Did he protect her from Piemon? No, did she love him? No, she loved me. He defeated me with one question. He said what would have happened if she knew both of us at the
same time? He was Chosen, so was
I. We could have been Chosen at the
same time. I gave up, I didn't know the
answer. No one does. But it's true. Things might have turned out differently. That thought made me so angry. I woke up full of rage and snapped. I am sorry."
"Daisuke you go next."
"Sure, he has already done most of my work
for me. He kept telling me almost the
same things I told him. That Hikari
never wanted me. She couldn't stand me,
stuff like that. But then he hit me
below the belt. He told me Miyako only
gave herself to me out of pity. That
stopped me dead in my tracks. He was
right, what could I do. She only did it
to stop me from moping around. I didn't
deserve her gift. I still don't. I snapped, when we all awoke Miyako didn't
seek me for comfort, and I couldn't go to Hikari. Everything he said in my dream was true. Neither wanted or liked me. So I took it out on Takeru. I apologize again for, but I do not regret
it. I still feel I don't deserve Miyako
though."
"Daisuke…I did not know. I should have told you." Miyako took him by the hand and sat him back
down. "We will work this out together."
"We all will Miyako." Taichi said.
That was not what I meant
but I understand. Miyako thought. Yamato shifted uncomfortably. He was not ready to face his problem. Plus Taichi might hit him again. What would the others say anyway?
"Taichi?"
"Yeah Yamato?"
"Promise you wont wit me again?" Yamato joked, chuckling?
"Su..Sure." a bewildered Taichi said.
"Your voice welcomed me in my sleep. I have dreamt of you most nights here
lately. It's quiet amazing. However in this one you turn on me. You start calling me names. Belittling me. Punching me. Then Sora
appears and you start to make love to her. Describing every thing. Making
fun of me, every word begins to cut me. I know I cant have you, but I can dream. You start another fight. You say I ruined my life, chose the wrong path. I said what do you know? You laugh, saying more than you. I scream 'you know nothing'. And I wake up. I tried to suppress this. I can't, not anymore. " Yamato
turns his back, wanting to walk away. A
hand catches him off guard.
"Yamato, you did the right thing. He's mine though."
"I know. Thanks."
Sora gave him a hug. She knew he had a hard time dealing with it
all. Now saying it in front of
everybody, which was hard. Taichi came
over, placing both arms on them.
"Look Yamato, your my friend. We have been best friends for years
now. You mean a lot to me. But not that much." Yamato chuckled at that. "Yeah Tai, let's finish this. Our partners need us."
"Piyomon! I have forgotten her." Sora
rushed over to her makeshift bed. Piyomon was sleeping soundly. "How in the world? She's
asleep."
"We will get her in the morning. She's fine, I'll go next."
Taichi got up as the same time as Ken. They both realized this. Taichi made a motion for Ken to go
ahead. Ken shook his head and bowed. He sat back down. This was Taichi's turn.
"Guys this is pretty weird. My dream was a lot like Miyako's. Darkness settled in and the Voice began
showing me scenes from my life. He told
me it was my fault. Your graves popped
up. One after the other. I was powerless to stop it. I hade sent you all to…your…deaths." He fell to his knees. "I was wanted to be the strong leader. I try, but I hurt too. It gets to me. When I realized this Daisuke appeared and thanked me for turning
over my power to him. He said he would
take good care of me. I lost everybody
then. No one helped me up. I didn't expect you too. Everyone appeared and turned their backs on
me. Each of citing various positions I
had put you in and caused harm. Hikari
and Sora both slapped me and belittled me. I didn't know what to do. I
began to give up. I still don't know
what to do but dammit I will not give up. I will not have this happen. And
we will do it too. With all of us
helping. I am the leader, but I will
accept that we all have to pitch in. And Daisuke…don't ever do that." Daisuke chuckled "Too late." A devilish gleam in his eye. "Why you…"
"Sorry to interrupt but I need your help."
"Nani? Ken?"
"Please. I cannot get that voice out of my head. I have ruined so many lives. Killed so many innocent. I am
alone. Not even my own voice trusts
me. It constantly yells at me. Changing with each accusation. They are all true but I want them to
stop. The only constant is the
yelling. All of you appear and accuse
me of destruction to so many. Then it
changes to my parents, accusing me of killing my brother. I didn't. I swear but they don't believe me. They hate me. Everyone
does. I seek solace in Wormmon and
Daisuke. It does not work. They turn on me, belittling me, trying to
hurt me. I didn't know. Gods I didn't
know they were real. I am sorry. They felt the pain I inflicted on them. They felt agony at losing their
friends. I forced you all to kill some
good DigiMon. They never returned. So many Innocents. They all died at my hands. The voice changes to one more, the last and worst. Myself. I am not to be trusted. Miss Hikari
was right. I did it before. Who is to say I will not do it again. Please, the voice wants to kill me. Hurt me as I hurt others. I have done so much. It hurts. Please help me. PLEASE!" Ken falls to the ground sobbing. Daisuke and Miyako immediately rush to his
side.
"Ken, listen to me. We all forgive you. We
do. You made a mistake. You learned from it. We will get to the
bottom of this. But we need you
Ken. We will help. Trust me."
"Daisuke is right. Ken, I love you; we love you. You mean a lot to us. Our
friendship is unconditional. Daisuke
and me will help you get through this. Be strong. You came this
far. Go a little further Ken. Please."
What have we gotten ourselves into this time?
We have got to do something. Poor Ken. He needs someone to love him. Love…Hmm…What do I know of love. Jyou says he loves me. Is it real? Do I love him back? Yes
I love him. Lets see what happens. "Guys, I'm afraid I can't help much. In my dream I was shopping in a mall and the
Voice sounded like the Announcer telling us the mall was closed. And I had only spent half of Daddies money."
Everyone face-faulted. "That was your dream?"
"Yeah. Sorry. But I would like to say;
Jyou I love you too. Lets see what
happens." She winked at him.
"Well Mimi, I think that does help us. Maybe you need to stop being so
superficial. You are so sincere. It is what makes you special, but sometimes
you need to slow down and think." It
was now five in the morning. They were
all tired.
Correct Sora. But I think she knew that. She is not dumb. Ditzy but not dumb. Very Good, you passed this test. In the next few days I will allow you to meet me. Sleep Well my Chosen.