CHAPTER XIII
After Observation - Parenting Is Much Like Trying To Staple Jell-O To A Tree
"Oh, come here baby…" Jane said in a comical, soft tone as she picked up the whaling infant from her crib. "Shh - shh, shh, shh, shh…" She tried to calm Mickey by bouncing her on her shoulder, but soon became tired of the ringing in her ear.
"What's the matter?" She coddled, moving China out in front of her to look at the baby's crumpled, red face - but mostly to get her screams away from her ear.
"Come on now, we don't want to wake daddy, do we?" Jane resumed bouncing the child in her arms, walking around the room with a hop in her step.
"Too late," A groggy voice floated from the doorway and Jane turned to see Eddie standing there. His hair was wild and his boxer shorts were rumpled around his waist, large, sleep-deprived bags shadowing his eyes.
"Aw." Jane cooed as she beckoned Eddie over to her as China began to quiet down. She was only a week old, and they were already having trouble.
He took the baby from Jane's arms and China immediately increased her scream/crying. "Are you sure we can't get a refund on this thing?" Eddie asked, moving her away from his ear. "Or at least a built-in volume control?"
"Ha, ha." Jane said sarcastically, gently slapping him on the butt as she walked out of the dark bedroom, heading toward the kitchen. Eddie followed her out, his steps slow and dragging as he slid across the cold floor.
"She's just hungry." Jane explained as she looked through the fridge for a bottle and milk. She went searching through the cupboard for a pan to heat up the milk in.
"So I've noticed." Eddie mentioned. She turned to see him seated at the counter on a barstool, his finger trapped inside China's gummed mouth.
Jane smiled and turned back to her task, waiting until the milk was at the right temperature, tested it on her arm, then filled the bottle and brought it to Eddie, who had a bit of trouble freeing his finger, but eventually was successful.
As China was quietly feeding, Jane came and sat down next to Eddie, who immediately slumped onto her shoulder, closing his eyes.
"…So…tired…" He whined, handing the still-feeding China over to Jane before his arms went limp.
"I know baby," Jane leaned her head against the top of his, watching China sleepily suckle on the bottle. "These are just road bumps." She tried.
"You mean 'traffic jams'…" Eddie corrected, the last words slipping from his tongue like the last breath of a dying man, and a rolling snore continued his sentence as Jane smiled to herself.
She sat there a moment, noticing that the bottle had meandered from China's mouth and was clasped in her small, pudgy hands as she slept.
Jane smiled, both her babies sleeping on her shoulders as she finally felt a roll of fatigue thunder through her.
She cringed as she began to move her arm up, gently supporting Eddie's head and easing it onto the counter, cowering as his skull hit the counter with a heavy thump.
Now free from her heaviest deadweight, Jane silently and carefully slipped from the barstool. She laid China back into her crib - undisturbed - and walked back out into the kitchen, despite the fact that the bed was calling her name.
She stifled a laugh as she saw Eddie try to get comfortable on the hard countertop, folding his arms like a pillow.
"Come on sleepy head, time to go to bed." Jane gently shook his arm and roused him from sleep, his voice warm and fuzzy.
"Sleep?" He asked pitifully, and she couldn't help but giggle lightly as she lifted his arm over her shoulder and tried to help him up.
"Oomph!" She grunted as she pulled him up from the barstool, his weight overpowering her as they began to tilt. "Eddie!" She said loud enough to startle him awake.
"What?" He asked imperceptibly, noticing his tilted angle and lazily supporting himself.
"We have to go to the bedroom."
"…Why?…"
"Because that's where we sleep."
"…O…kay…" He was so tired he seemed reluctant to move from his spot.
"I'm not dragging your ass all the way to the bedroom, you have to make an effort to walk." Jane laughed as he stumbled on the first step.
After successfully sliding/lurching into the room, Jane immediately headed for the bed and was suddenly brought down as Eddie collapsed into it, trapping her by his side with his arm, he was fast asleep.
Jane smiled and shook her head, craning her neck to kiss him, even though she could only successfully reach his own neck.
"Sweet dreams."
After Observation - Parenting Is Much Like Trying To Staple Jell-O To A Tree
"Oh, come here baby…" Jane said in a comical, soft tone as she picked up the whaling infant from her crib. "Shh - shh, shh, shh, shh…" She tried to calm Mickey by bouncing her on her shoulder, but soon became tired of the ringing in her ear.
"What's the matter?" She coddled, moving China out in front of her to look at the baby's crumpled, red face - but mostly to get her screams away from her ear.
"Come on now, we don't want to wake daddy, do we?" Jane resumed bouncing the child in her arms, walking around the room with a hop in her step.
"Too late," A groggy voice floated from the doorway and Jane turned to see Eddie standing there. His hair was wild and his boxer shorts were rumpled around his waist, large, sleep-deprived bags shadowing his eyes.
"Aw." Jane cooed as she beckoned Eddie over to her as China began to quiet down. She was only a week old, and they were already having trouble.
He took the baby from Jane's arms and China immediately increased her scream/crying. "Are you sure we can't get a refund on this thing?" Eddie asked, moving her away from his ear. "Or at least a built-in volume control?"
"Ha, ha." Jane said sarcastically, gently slapping him on the butt as she walked out of the dark bedroom, heading toward the kitchen. Eddie followed her out, his steps slow and dragging as he slid across the cold floor.
"She's just hungry." Jane explained as she looked through the fridge for a bottle and milk. She went searching through the cupboard for a pan to heat up the milk in.
"So I've noticed." Eddie mentioned. She turned to see him seated at the counter on a barstool, his finger trapped inside China's gummed mouth.
Jane smiled and turned back to her task, waiting until the milk was at the right temperature, tested it on her arm, then filled the bottle and brought it to Eddie, who had a bit of trouble freeing his finger, but eventually was successful.
As China was quietly feeding, Jane came and sat down next to Eddie, who immediately slumped onto her shoulder, closing his eyes.
"…So…tired…" He whined, handing the still-feeding China over to Jane before his arms went limp.
"I know baby," Jane leaned her head against the top of his, watching China sleepily suckle on the bottle. "These are just road bumps." She tried.
"You mean 'traffic jams'…" Eddie corrected, the last words slipping from his tongue like the last breath of a dying man, and a rolling snore continued his sentence as Jane smiled to herself.
She sat there a moment, noticing that the bottle had meandered from China's mouth and was clasped in her small, pudgy hands as she slept.
Jane smiled, both her babies sleeping on her shoulders as she finally felt a roll of fatigue thunder through her.
She cringed as she began to move her arm up, gently supporting Eddie's head and easing it onto the counter, cowering as his skull hit the counter with a heavy thump.
Now free from her heaviest deadweight, Jane silently and carefully slipped from the barstool. She laid China back into her crib - undisturbed - and walked back out into the kitchen, despite the fact that the bed was calling her name.
She stifled a laugh as she saw Eddie try to get comfortable on the hard countertop, folding his arms like a pillow.
"Come on sleepy head, time to go to bed." Jane gently shook his arm and roused him from sleep, his voice warm and fuzzy.
"Sleep?" He asked pitifully, and she couldn't help but giggle lightly as she lifted his arm over her shoulder and tried to help him up.
"Oomph!" She grunted as she pulled him up from the barstool, his weight overpowering her as they began to tilt. "Eddie!" She said loud enough to startle him awake.
"What?" He asked imperceptibly, noticing his tilted angle and lazily supporting himself.
"We have to go to the bedroom."
"…Why?…"
"Because that's where we sleep."
"…O…kay…" He was so tired he seemed reluctant to move from his spot.
"I'm not dragging your ass all the way to the bedroom, you have to make an effort to walk." Jane laughed as he stumbled on the first step.
After successfully sliding/lurching into the room, Jane immediately headed for the bed and was suddenly brought down as Eddie collapsed into it, trapping her by his side with his arm, he was fast asleep.
Jane smiled and shook her head, craning her neck to kiss him, even though she could only successfully reach his own neck.
"Sweet dreams."