Downpour
Time: 5:57 p.m.
Location: Leaving Balamb
Date: December 2, 2000
Softly, flakes begin to touch the tip of her hair. They playfully dangle from the strands, as she takes each step. Softly snowflakes touch the tip of my hair, but only melt, and splash my scalp with cold drops. Once again, the feeling of being cold.
It reminds me of the days I ran restrained, yet free with Raijin and Fujin. We held our heads high, and tortured those who happened to fall in our path. Me, strong and fearless would grab younger students by their shirts, and thrust them so hard onto Balamb Garden walls, that the paint nearly chipped away. My reasons for such actions are still unknown. It's all that's been done to me. Physically? No. Mentally? More times than anyone would wish for. Shaky palms smash into the ground. The remains of my mind painted a blunt message in the sky for everyone to read.
"This is Seifer; pitiless, wretched, and ill mannered. Stay away from this one."
I don't know the whole world, yet the world knows me.
Fujin and Raijin; such respect had to come at an expensive price. Idolization has shown in the worst way possible. I want to hurt them. I want to kill them, but if they were gone who would look up to me? Their names only bring one definition up to mind: Feeble "yes man" who are only able to shine when sheltered within my shadow. Bastards. Yes, I do still speak to them. Why, you ask? The answer is still unknown. I'm probably contradicting myself, but who knows; they may come in handy later.
"You know, I don't blame you for what's happened to me. I didn't think you'd get cured… but you did. There is a way out there, and we are going to find it."
"Yeah, it's out there."
My responses are short and to the point. I have a lot to say to her, but thoughts of the way I've wasted numerous years of my life are beginning to interrupt the joy I have right now. The bliss of being with her, knowing I am able to take care of somebody.
We're still far from reaching our destination, and already I'm about to fall to the ground. Does she feel the same way? How do I ask her to turn back? How can I say that I'm feeling weak; that the powerful title I'm given is being manipulated by the wrong person?
Time: 7:43 p.m.
Location: Somewhere outside Balamb
Date: December 2, 2000
This walk is getting us nowhere. With the weather we're surrounded by, we're bound to wake up sick in the morning. Does this hospital even exist? Was the only cure left the one that was used on me? Damnit. What the hell was everyone thinking when they poured it into my mouth? Does Quistis actually have the same amount of care for me, which I do for her?
I cringe at the thought of me knowing how to feel. If she hadn't touched me in so many open places in my life, I wouldn't be walking her to this unreal hospital in the deadest air. I'd be back at home. Yes, tormenting seeds. Laughing at their mistakes, their attempts to seem strong. Either that, or being out cold on my hard mattress.