Chapter XV
Never Forget That The Most Powerful Force On Earth Is Love
Jane nervously licked her dry lips, her shaking hand reluctant to form around the cool door handle, her fingers shaking uncontrollably.
She had done this before, seen the same things, feared the same things, and more or less experienced the same things, but she still was not prepared.
She fretted what lay beyond the closed doors, in the room with the pasty walls and the machinery, but she knew she had to go in.
She didn't understand quite why everything always had to happen the way they did, but she knew it was too late to help it. Sure, she still felt guilty.
A tug at her other hand made her tumble from thought.
'Mommy?' China signed, a sad look of worry floundering in her big, blue eyes. 'Are you okay?'
Jane nodded, her voice buried in the dark recesses of her stomach and her hands too shaky to sign. She sniffed back defiantly and signed, 'yeah baby, mommy's okay'
China nodded, despite the worry and now reluctance in her eyes and gave Jane's hand a squeeze of reassurance.
Suddenly, something boiled up in Jane and she sank to her knees, her tear-filled eyes staring into China's.
'Do you understand what happened to your daddy?' Jane signed, forcing her fingers to work.
China nodded, wet, doe eyes shining in the hallway lights.
'A gun hurt him'
'I know' China signed back. Then she paused, 'why?'
Jane tried to break it down. 'Remember when daddy went to the store for some medicine for his foot? Well, there was a very angry man there and he…he got scared of your daddy, and he shot him'
China furrowed her tiny eyebrows, not liking the story her mother was telling her. Tears began to well in her big eyes and shimmered sadly in the lights. 'But he'll get better, right?'
Jane felt her eyes burn with tears as they streamed down her face and she pulled China against her, rocking her back and forth as more of a comfort to herself than to China.
"Yeah baby, he'll be okay." Jane said aloud, even though they were not heard. She knew China could understand.
China finally pushed her mom away, her eyes still wide with worry and sorrow and anything else she could pack in their that reminded Jane of Eddie, and she had to choke down the urge to cry out.
'Can we go in now?' China signed, peering deep inside her mom's head.
'Sure'
Jane rose to her feet, shook off another sob, and took a deep breath, forcing herself to open the incredibly heavy door.
It took a minute for Jane's eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room, only an overhead bar light illuminated the space above the bed, as opposed to the blazing lights of the hallway.
She wiped away the tears from her eyes with one hand and held tightly onto China's hand.
A rock started forming in her throat, as her watery eyes fell upon what she dreaded. She took in the formalities of the recent situation, again beholding her accident-prone husband as he lay recumbence in the hospital bed.
Eddie's pallor matched the pale wallpaper again, but unfortunately it was plagued with a deep, black bruise about his left eye, almost swelling it useless. More bruises were set across his cheeks and his jaw seemed to tilt at an odd angle.
An air hose was pushed down his throat, and an accordion-like pump hissed and belched air in and out of his renouncing body, forcing him to stay alive. From his eyebrows up, his forehead was wrapped in gauze, a bloom of blood pushing out from above his left eye.
He looked inhuman, so many tubes and wires twisting and snaking in and out of his body that Jane's head began to hurt when she tried to follow them back to the machinery piled around him.
"Dammit Eddie." Jane hissed at herself, noticing that China was peacefully staring at her father lying in a coma on the bed.
China pulled on Jane's hand, China's eyes refusing to tear away from her father.
'Mommy?' China signed, pulling her finger's loose from her mom's grip. 'Can I go see daddy?'
'You have to be careful, you can't touch him'
'Why?' The worry swam back into her eyes.
'Because he has to get better' Jane looked at her compassionately.
'What's all the stuff on him?'
'Do you remember when you hurt your finger?' China nodded. 'And we had to put a band-aid on it to make it better? This stuff is to make daddy better and we can't touch it until he does get better' China nodded in understanding again, her eyes wandering back to her dad.
China sighed heavily enough to sink her shoulders and puffed out her cheeks, something she did when making an incredibly huge decision.
'Okay' She signed halfheartedly as she walked carefully towards the bed, turning back to her mother as she was halfway there.
Jane put a finger to her lips, telling China to be as quiet as possible and Jane couldn't help but laugh as China nodded her head with big eyes and teeth showing and tiptoed carefully again towards the bed, slower this time.
Eventually, China made it over to the bed and was looking around curiously, until she found what she was looking for.
With a silent grunt, she drug a large chair over so that it was as close as she could possibly get it to her father's bed and crawled into it, surveying her new territory.
From this new height China could take in everything from a new angle, she could see the wounds on her dad, his black and white face, the hoses and wires going into him, and she realized what her mom was talking about.
Jane moved closer to the bed, standing next to China's chair and looking worriedly down at Eddie's still face.
"Hi." A sudden voice startled her and Jane whirled around on her heel, confronting an oddly beautiful woman standing in the doorway.
Her jet-black hair was slicked smooth against her head and a pair of stunning, dark, japanese-shaped eyes were hidden behind a seventy's style pair of glasses. A series of piercings glistened on both eyebrows, perforated her nose, and lined the outside of both her ears.
She wore torn and faded jeans that seemed about one step away from falling off of her legs in tatters, and from the holes, Jane could tell she was wearing fishnet stockings beneath.
Jane also noticed that when the woman - no, she seemed too young - when the girl spoke, a barbell ring clicked against her teeth from a hole in her tongue. Jane absentmindedly rubbed her tongue against her teeth, wondering what it felt like to have a piece of metal jabbed through her tongue.
"I'm Dr. Zigman, but you can call me Laura." The woman - er - girl smiled politely and wasted no time into going over and fiddling with a couple catheters in Eddie.
Jane's brain coughed and chugged as it slowly clunked into action, lamely taking in the greeting and coming up with a reply.
"…Hi…I'm Jane Alden." She said, forcing a lopsided smile at the doctor.
"Let me guess…spouse?" Laura looked up and smiled and Jane nodded grimly.
Suddenly, Laura's dark eyes turned to China who was sitting patiently and silently next to her father.
"Well hey there cutie." Laura smiled brightly, her heavy black shoes clumping across the floor as she floated towards China.
"She can't hear you, she's deaf." Jane found herself automatically saying, blowing out air through her nose and wrapping her arms around her as she felt a chill run down her spine.
"That's okay," Laura bent to the eye level of China. 'What's your name?' Laura signed as if it was second nature.
Surprisingly, China seemed to instantly like Laura and trust her, which was unusual because China barely trusted Liz, probably because Liz couldn't get the hang of sign language.
'China' She signed back, smiling happily.
'That's a very pretty name. How about you and I go get something to eat? Say, some candy?'
China looked from Laura, to her dad - who lay unresponsive - and finally to her mother who seemed reluctant but in conclusion nodded her acceptance.
'Yeah! Let's go!' Laura took China by the hand and allowed her to jump from the chair onto the ground.
As they were about halfway to the door, China suddenly stopped and turned with a worried look shading her face.
Without a sound, China tore loose from Laura's hand and ran back and scrambled back into the chair. She found a proper foundation for her hands on the rail at the side of Eddie's bed and gently leaned over, planting the softest kiss she could on her father's cheek.
Then, having finished her deed, jumped down from the chair and trotted back to Laura, allowing her to take her hand again.
And as they left the room, to leave Jane to her mind and husband, China turned back and signed.
'I love you'
Never Forget That The Most Powerful Force On Earth Is Love
Jane nervously licked her dry lips, her shaking hand reluctant to form around the cool door handle, her fingers shaking uncontrollably.
She had done this before, seen the same things, feared the same things, and more or less experienced the same things, but she still was not prepared.
She fretted what lay beyond the closed doors, in the room with the pasty walls and the machinery, but she knew she had to go in.
She didn't understand quite why everything always had to happen the way they did, but she knew it was too late to help it. Sure, she still felt guilty.
A tug at her other hand made her tumble from thought.
'Mommy?' China signed, a sad look of worry floundering in her big, blue eyes. 'Are you okay?'
Jane nodded, her voice buried in the dark recesses of her stomach and her hands too shaky to sign. She sniffed back defiantly and signed, 'yeah baby, mommy's okay'
China nodded, despite the worry and now reluctance in her eyes and gave Jane's hand a squeeze of reassurance.
Suddenly, something boiled up in Jane and she sank to her knees, her tear-filled eyes staring into China's.
'Do you understand what happened to your daddy?' Jane signed, forcing her fingers to work.
China nodded, wet, doe eyes shining in the hallway lights.
'A gun hurt him'
'I know' China signed back. Then she paused, 'why?'
Jane tried to break it down. 'Remember when daddy went to the store for some medicine for his foot? Well, there was a very angry man there and he…he got scared of your daddy, and he shot him'
China furrowed her tiny eyebrows, not liking the story her mother was telling her. Tears began to well in her big eyes and shimmered sadly in the lights. 'But he'll get better, right?'
Jane felt her eyes burn with tears as they streamed down her face and she pulled China against her, rocking her back and forth as more of a comfort to herself than to China.
"Yeah baby, he'll be okay." Jane said aloud, even though they were not heard. She knew China could understand.
China finally pushed her mom away, her eyes still wide with worry and sorrow and anything else she could pack in their that reminded Jane of Eddie, and she had to choke down the urge to cry out.
'Can we go in now?' China signed, peering deep inside her mom's head.
'Sure'
Jane rose to her feet, shook off another sob, and took a deep breath, forcing herself to open the incredibly heavy door.
It took a minute for Jane's eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room, only an overhead bar light illuminated the space above the bed, as opposed to the blazing lights of the hallway.
She wiped away the tears from her eyes with one hand and held tightly onto China's hand.
A rock started forming in her throat, as her watery eyes fell upon what she dreaded. She took in the formalities of the recent situation, again beholding her accident-prone husband as he lay recumbence in the hospital bed.
Eddie's pallor matched the pale wallpaper again, but unfortunately it was plagued with a deep, black bruise about his left eye, almost swelling it useless. More bruises were set across his cheeks and his jaw seemed to tilt at an odd angle.
An air hose was pushed down his throat, and an accordion-like pump hissed and belched air in and out of his renouncing body, forcing him to stay alive. From his eyebrows up, his forehead was wrapped in gauze, a bloom of blood pushing out from above his left eye.
He looked inhuman, so many tubes and wires twisting and snaking in and out of his body that Jane's head began to hurt when she tried to follow them back to the machinery piled around him.
"Dammit Eddie." Jane hissed at herself, noticing that China was peacefully staring at her father lying in a coma on the bed.
China pulled on Jane's hand, China's eyes refusing to tear away from her father.
'Mommy?' China signed, pulling her finger's loose from her mom's grip. 'Can I go see daddy?'
'You have to be careful, you can't touch him'
'Why?' The worry swam back into her eyes.
'Because he has to get better' Jane looked at her compassionately.
'What's all the stuff on him?'
'Do you remember when you hurt your finger?' China nodded. 'And we had to put a band-aid on it to make it better? This stuff is to make daddy better and we can't touch it until he does get better' China nodded in understanding again, her eyes wandering back to her dad.
China sighed heavily enough to sink her shoulders and puffed out her cheeks, something she did when making an incredibly huge decision.
'Okay' She signed halfheartedly as she walked carefully towards the bed, turning back to her mother as she was halfway there.
Jane put a finger to her lips, telling China to be as quiet as possible and Jane couldn't help but laugh as China nodded her head with big eyes and teeth showing and tiptoed carefully again towards the bed, slower this time.
Eventually, China made it over to the bed and was looking around curiously, until she found what she was looking for.
With a silent grunt, she drug a large chair over so that it was as close as she could possibly get it to her father's bed and crawled into it, surveying her new territory.
From this new height China could take in everything from a new angle, she could see the wounds on her dad, his black and white face, the hoses and wires going into him, and she realized what her mom was talking about.
Jane moved closer to the bed, standing next to China's chair and looking worriedly down at Eddie's still face.
"Hi." A sudden voice startled her and Jane whirled around on her heel, confronting an oddly beautiful woman standing in the doorway.
Her jet-black hair was slicked smooth against her head and a pair of stunning, dark, japanese-shaped eyes were hidden behind a seventy's style pair of glasses. A series of piercings glistened on both eyebrows, perforated her nose, and lined the outside of both her ears.
She wore torn and faded jeans that seemed about one step away from falling off of her legs in tatters, and from the holes, Jane could tell she was wearing fishnet stockings beneath.
Jane also noticed that when the woman - no, she seemed too young - when the girl spoke, a barbell ring clicked against her teeth from a hole in her tongue. Jane absentmindedly rubbed her tongue against her teeth, wondering what it felt like to have a piece of metal jabbed through her tongue.
"I'm Dr. Zigman, but you can call me Laura." The woman - er - girl smiled politely and wasted no time into going over and fiddling with a couple catheters in Eddie.
Jane's brain coughed and chugged as it slowly clunked into action, lamely taking in the greeting and coming up with a reply.
"…Hi…I'm Jane Alden." She said, forcing a lopsided smile at the doctor.
"Let me guess…spouse?" Laura looked up and smiled and Jane nodded grimly.
Suddenly, Laura's dark eyes turned to China who was sitting patiently and silently next to her father.
"Well hey there cutie." Laura smiled brightly, her heavy black shoes clumping across the floor as she floated towards China.
"She can't hear you, she's deaf." Jane found herself automatically saying, blowing out air through her nose and wrapping her arms around her as she felt a chill run down her spine.
"That's okay," Laura bent to the eye level of China. 'What's your name?' Laura signed as if it was second nature.
Surprisingly, China seemed to instantly like Laura and trust her, which was unusual because China barely trusted Liz, probably because Liz couldn't get the hang of sign language.
'China' She signed back, smiling happily.
'That's a very pretty name. How about you and I go get something to eat? Say, some candy?'
China looked from Laura, to her dad - who lay unresponsive - and finally to her mother who seemed reluctant but in conclusion nodded her acceptance.
'Yeah! Let's go!' Laura took China by the hand and allowed her to jump from the chair onto the ground.
As they were about halfway to the door, China suddenly stopped and turned with a worried look shading her face.
Without a sound, China tore loose from Laura's hand and ran back and scrambled back into the chair. She found a proper foundation for her hands on the rail at the side of Eddie's bed and gently leaned over, planting the softest kiss she could on her father's cheek.
Then, having finished her deed, jumped down from the chair and trotted back to Laura, allowing her to take her hand again.
And as they left the room, to leave Jane to her mind and husband, China turned back and signed.
'I love you'