Downpour
Time: 4:48 a.m.
Location: My Dorm Room
Date: December 5, 2000
I'm sleeping with her. Well, no, I'm not sleeping…more like dying with her. She breathes slowly, her chest moving up and down. Slow motion. In 2 hours, she has to wake up, and teach a class. What will her students think when they see my handprint on her face? Will they question her? Will they know that I'm the one who finger-painted her in red? Removing my arm from under her head, I sigh and turn on my side. It's still hard to look at her, which is strange. I used to love seeing her. I could stare at her for hours. Now, the very sight of what I did makes me want to vomit.
Time: 12:19 p.m.
Location: My Dorm Room
Date: December 5, 2000
Waking up, I see what's left of the sun shining dimly into the room. Quistis had left already. I meant to stand up and apologize once more. Wish her a good day, and kiss the other side of her face, far from my mistakes. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I also didn't mean to hit her. I must've been dreaming, but I believe that before she left, she kissed me. That strong beautiful drug she used to leave on my tongue doesn't exist anymore. I taste her pain. The tears that expired on her lips last night; they're bitter.
Time: 12:22 p.m.
Location: My Dorm Room [Bathroom]
Date: December 5, 2000
The medicine cabinet mirror has painted an honest picture of me. I see a man that has lost it. My eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep. I wasn't even comfortable enough to change out of my snow stained clothes. I'm a puzzle. The pieces of everyone never did fit, but they were shoved in place anyway. My mind is missing her piece; it fell out last night.
Over to my right, the bathtub rests peacefully. I nervously peek at it from the corner of my eye. It's haunting. I can almost see the exact position she laid in, hours after I was gone. Sobbing hysterically in her hands, hating who she is, hating where she was.
Time: 1:02 p.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Hallway]
Date: December 5, 2000
"Hey Seifer!"
Peering up from my hands, I bury my face again when I see the cheery brunette accompanied by her loyal cowboy.
"How come you didn't go to class today?"
I ignored her.
Assuming I didn't hear her, she repeated her question again, bending over speaking in front of my face.
"I'm sick, I couldn't go." I mumbled through my palms.
Finally, the truth.
"Sick? Well, shouldn't you be in your room, sleeping or something?"
My mind was filled, and I was ready to snap. Things weren't going my way. I didn't feel like sitting here, and answering dumb, meaningless questions.
"Anyway, did you see Quistis' face? What happened to her?"
Was she ever going to give up? Should I confess and tell her the horrifying details of last night? How I brutally slapped her in the face, and made her tumble down and hit her back against the walls of the tub? No, I decided to stay silent. Instead of even thinking of an answer, I got up and walked towards her classroom.
Time: 1:12 p.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Classroom]
Date: December 5, 2000
Looking inside, I see her grading papers. Her chin propped up on her hand, as if to hide the mark. The room was empty. Good.
"How are you feeling?"
She didn't look up, she knew it was me. She stayed silent a few seconds more, before answering.
"I'm good Seifer, and yourself? How are you doing?"
This was strange. It reminded me of when I always tried talking to her, before I really knew her. I hated this feeling.
I walked up to her, and placed my hand on her shoulders. I apologized once more, and began to run my fingers through her hair. She paused, afraid of what I was doing. This is terrible. I don't want her to fear me. Trying to ignore how terrified she was, I let her know how my day was, and thanked her for not waking me up for class. God, I'm such a weak bastard. Here, she's bruised and beaten, and she comes to class. I'm the one who hurt her, and I decide not to show up.
At least we were talking. I reached into my pocket, and pulled out two blue tablets. She picked them up, and stared at them for a bit, before bringing her cupped fist to her mouth. Seeing how she didn't put up a fight, I smiled, pulled her up, and held her tight. She didn't hold me back though. It wasn't 'til later that I realized she actually still had the pills hidden in her hand.