Downpour
Time: 5:01 p.m.
Location: My Dorm Room
Date: December 5, 2000
After all her classes were over with, we went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Well, we didn't eat, only I did. After trying numerous times to convince her to take a bite out of my salad, I finally gave up, and finished it on my own. I watched her daintily sip from her cup of pitch-black coffee, and continuously pull napkins from the dispenser, just to nervously fold them. It's a bit hard to remember, but I'm pretty sure I didn't act this way when I was "infected". She'll still talk to me, and she'll touch me. Only problem is, I don't want her to touch me.
Time: 5:54 p.m.
Location: Dancing in a sickness
Date: December 5, 2000
Is it wrong for me to fear her touch? I am, after all, the one who gave her this illness. She took me in, when I stumbled to her front door, bleeding and dying. She cleansed me. Ah, I'll never forget that night. The night I finally got to feel what I've been deprived of all my life. I was oblivious to what was going on around me, but then she spoke to me. Those five words that came so naturally, honestly, and just in time.
"I'll take care of you."
We then proceeded to do the one thing we shouldn't have.
It'd be easier for me to turn away from her, if she didn't open up so many places in me. I'd be able to run freely if she didn't touch me the way she does, if she didn't care for me the way she does. I peek up from the weekly packets of "Remember your Fighting Skills" that she has brought for me to work on. She's grading papers. I wonder to myself how she finds it so easily to go on with her "normal life".
Time: 6:00 p.m.
Location: My Dorm Room
Date: December 5, 2000
I can't understand her. I stare at her, and I don't see what I used to see. For some strange reason, I want to touch her now.
Setting the worksheets down, I walk behind her, and massage her shoulders. Once again, she pauses, but finally puts her paperwork away and stands up. She strokes my face, and makes me feel guilty. I can't do the same, because I don't want to hurt her. Instead, I kiss her, making sure to keep my eyes closed tightly. We move once again, towards the bed. I close my eyes and sigh, as she removes my belt. I don't want to do this, but it'll get my mind off of things for now.
Time: 6:09 p.m.
Location: Skipping through her
Date: December 5, 2000
She holds me tightly, and breathes heavily on my shoulders. Her breath is warm, and a bit comforting. I wish I could look at her, but I can't. Instead, I close my eyes, and keep moving. She whimpers and moans quietly. I imagine that she's the same beautiful girl she used to be. I want to get contaminated again. I want to feel what she feels right now. I deserve to. With that final thought, I press deeply and quickly one last time into her, as she cries in pleasure. Smiling, Sweating, and out of breath, I rest my head on her chest and sleep.
In the morning, after I awoke, I headed to the infirmary; only to find that strangely, I wasn't infected at all.