Downpour
Time: 5:42 p.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Infirmary]
Date: December 6, 2000
It's confusing. I always think that I can't fail, but when my plans finally undergo everything, they just collapse. If I get the disease, will it solve everything?
"You're clean."
She speaks to me.
"Cleaner than anyone I've seen."
HA! If only she knew me. Would she still speak of me being as being untouched? If she knew what I had done to Quistis, would she even offer to check my body for anything that would cause harm?
"Are you sure there's nothing there? I mean, no poison or anything?"
She shakes her head.
"Nope. Nothing there."
"HOW COULD THAT BE?!"
"Please calm down. I'd love to stand here and answer every question that you have, but I have students I must attend to."
Yeah, of course she does.
Time: 6:08 a.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Classroom]
Date: December 6, 2000
I made it to class today. It seems quiet. Quiet of the usual gossip, that is. Everyone looks at me, amazed that I showed up. I think they're beginning to suspect something. They compare the mark on Quistis' face to the size of my hands, and eye me angrily when they think that I'm not looking. I see them pass notes to each other. I don't have to wonder what the contents are, because I already know what they're writing about. They wildly whisper to each other "How could he even show his face in here?" or "He must be weak, beating on the instructor like that!"
Weak? If they were able to spend a day in my shoes, they'd fall apart. They'd die in a second. Well, the only thing I know is that they wouldn't be able to stand, as long as I've been standing.
I brutally sneer at two girls who seem to be disgusted with me, and focus on Quistis who's standing in front of the class.
"Alright class, quiet down. Please take out your homework, and—" She pauses, and takes a seat. "And…" Resting her head on her hand, she seemed disoriented, confused.
We all watch quietly as she carefully takes long silent breaths. It's my cue to run up to her and see if she's ok, but instead I just sit here. After awhile, she presses the red button on the intercom and calls for someone to substitute the class, while she steps out.
Time: 6:30 a.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Classroom]
Date: December 6, 2000
I am truly the biggest asshole in the world. She left class about 20 minutes ago, and I'm still in here. Why am I still in here? I hate myself, I hate everyone. I feel like crushing those eyes that are still staring at me. I feel like strangling the mentor who's wasting my time.
Five minutes have passed, and I still stupidly sit here. The clock on the wall ticks soundly, and outside the harsh winds blow, and whistle throughout the room. I want to be the one who saves her. I know if I don't check up on her, Squall is going to run to her and be the damn hero again. I can't let that happen.
Time: 6:49 a.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Hallway]
Date: December 6, 2000
Despite the many requests for me to take my seat again, I walked right past the short old witch, and into these disgusting hallways. I'm worried, angry, and confused. Such feelings are causing me to walk at an incredibly fast pace. My ears are shut off to the voices of everyone else, and my fists don't yearn to crash into the faces of SeeDs who fear me. I don't know where I'm going; I don't know where the fuck she went.
I've checked the infirmary, the library, cafeteria, and Quad. One would think in these lifeless walkways, that fluorescent beauty would be simple to find. Wrong. Quistis doesn't shine like she used to. She's faded; she's dim. And it's my fault. I stopped in my tracks, frustrated. I spun around to check every corner of the school, and didn't find her, when finally…this thought came to me.
"She's in the dorm."
Time: 7:02 a.m.
Location: Balamb Garden [Dorm Corridor]
Date: December 6, 2000
Looking for her idiotically has caused me to waste time, and without a second thought, I burst into the room, and found her on her knees, weeping over the bed.
Time: 7:08 a.m.
Location: My Dorm Room
Date: December 6, 2000
She didn't look up at me, but I'm positive that she heard me. I tucked my hands into my pockets, and watched her cry for awhile. I had to break the silence, but I didn't know what to say.
"Do you—I mean, are you OK?"
What the hell kind of question was that.
She's given up on me; she's given up on us. I could tell, because she innocently held her hand out to me, and showed me the medicine she's neglected to take. Our life…she's refusing to live.