A Variance of Dreams

Sera had chosen to sleep in the lab again, the better to be close to Terry if she needed anything, even a familiar face. Hank apparently had another room, but spent most of his time in the lab, working. As she watched him putter, moving from one station to another, he explained his work to her. Not any shocker, most of it went straight over her head, but since he really seemed to just want someone to listen to him, that wasn't a problem. It was surprisingly pleasant to fall asleep to the sound of his rumbling voice. Although, she reflected in the last few seconds she was awake, it probably wasn't going to make him feel real good about his ability as a lecturer.

She was woken in what she assumed was the morning- there was a surprising lack of windows in the lab- by Hank leaning over her.

"Sera, Sera, time to wake up."

"What? I'm up, I'm up!"

A disbelieving shake of his head and then, "Professor Xavier would look to see you up in his office. I'll show you the way."

"Gotcha." Xavier wanted to see her and not Terry? Belatedly, Sera remembered his interest in her, from yesterday. What exactly was going on here? They'd been very nice to her, letting her sleep off the effects of healing Terry, but she was only here for Terry. She had a life to get back to.

Hopping out of the bed, Sera put on her combat boots and laced them up. She didn't look the least professional, she knew that, and to some effect it left her feeling vulnerable right now. During the school year, she could look as adult and competent as anyone else, but it was the summer now and she had wanted to look like herself. Ought to have known that would come back to bite her in the butt. There were no mirrors here, no way to check what she looked like, but that was okay, as she could guess. Past experience told her the hair would be a hopeless, a tangled mess despite the fact it was only a few inches long. Her favorite white dress shirt was now stained, thanks to that little run in with Wolverine last and she was almost regretting the black bra. Oh, well, she thought, and added her mantra from last night of Begin as you mean to go on. Clothes did not make the woman. "Let's go," she said to Hank.

The walk to the office was silent and Sera spent a couple minutes wondering if the kids she sent to the office always felt this awkward on the way there. She was developing a whole new sympathy for them.

Once there, she was surprised and vaguely reassured. Xavier was seated behind a large desk, with the couple from last night- uh-oh- on either side of him and that was daunting, but it looked like Hank was going to stay. Sera took a deep breath and tried to look respectable and not like she had been biting people's ankles the night before. Hell, maybe she did need to get called to the principal's office.

"Miss Jannhanson," Xavier began, with no preamble, "we, that is to say, my associates here and I, have discussed bringing your young friend Terry into the school and have decided that it would be entirely beneficial." Sera felt some source of tension she hadn't fully noticed before dissolve. They were going to help! "We have also been discussing your rather incredible talents as well."

Sera could feel her eyebrows go up. "Excuse me?" she asked as politely as possible. Her powers? What powers? Compared to her mother and sister, hell, even her little niece, she was strictly low wattage. Hence the teaching English. She knew where her strengths lay. And where they didn't.

"Your powers," Xavier reiterated, "and the fact that you say they are generational. Henry," and here he indicated Hank, now standing behind him, "and I have spent years studying the mutant phenomena and we have never come across any group where the mutation seems to have been present for so long. Generations, as you say. And so clearly inherited, passed on from mother to daughter. It is unprecedented and entirely fascinating."

"No offense, Professor," interrupted Sera, "but I'm starting to feel like a lab animal here. It's not unprecedented in my family, we've always been like this."

"My apologies on the wording," responded Xavier. "That could have been more politely done. I'm wondering, how was it that you learned to control your powers?"

"Mom taught me," Sera shrugged, "just like she taught my sister and just like my sister is teaching her daughter. We just always learn, shielding, healing, using and controlling the emotions. This is who we are, and we teach it to our children just like you would teach table manners or how to put on and tie your shoes correctly."

"And that, you see, is exactly what fascinates us, that your family teaches this so naturally. It is something we have not quite mastered here." Sera continued to stare at him. She was pretty sure she knew where this was going and she was starting to get a sick, sinking feeling in her stomach. "Would you have any interest in staying yourself, as a teacher, as a member of our team?"

At this point, Sera did decide that ethics-free, as Wolverine so classily put it, was the way to go. She thinned her shields to almost nothing and then spent a couple of seconds processing the emotions swirling around her and who they were coming from as well as what they meant to her. Hank was clearly fascinated by her, but there was genuine liking there as well. He wanted her to stay, wanted to learn from her. Xavier's interest was pure research; she represented an unknown factor and one that he thought could help him. There were other feelings from him, fainter, that were harder to read. He felt... she stretched her mind towards him, that she would be helpful to him, helpful to... his plan? Damn, she couldn't quite reach it. The woman from last night was curious but trusting of Xavier. There was a little doubt, centered on the behavior she had observed in Sera and a little worry. It was something about team dynamics. The man's emotions were almost a perfect reflection of the woman's and that in of itself was intriguing to Sera. Close bond between those two, maybe even closer than they themselves knew. In addition to the woman's feeling, however, the man had concerns. She pushed farther; he thought she was too wild. She almost laughed when she saw a connection in his thoughts about her and his thoughts about Wolverine.

It wasn't that Sera could read minds. She couldn't, not at all. But strong emotions, such as the ones around her, emotions that people were concentrating on, like people do when they want to figure things out, or convince themselves or others, shaped very clearly around ideas. Sera would never be able to tell what words exactly that they were thinking, but to her mind, that was fine. So far as she could tell, people lied to themselves all the time, told themselves anything and everything that they wanted to hear. Emotions, now, those you couldn't screw with at all.

No one, she could tell now, was going to make her do anything she didn't to and that was reassuring. However, they all felt very strongly about her staying. They all felt she was a very necessary addition to their... team. And that she couldn't understand. These people were fighters, even Hank, for all he seemed so gentle; there was that feel to their feelings, that they could handle anything. So why would she, who was so not a fighter, be at all useful to them?

"Miss Jannhanson?" prompted Xavier and she could feel concern from him at her long silence. She wove her shields to their usual thickness again to shut the others feelings out. Too hard to talk and filter through other people's emotions.

"You all feel very convinced this is the right thing to do," she said thoughtfully and was slightly amused to see how startled they looked when she said that, especially Xavier and the woman. That would warrant looking into. "But I'm less sure. My gifts, they're nothing special. Why do you all want me so badly?"

"They are special," insisted Xavier. "Not only the gifts but the way your were raised to feel about them, that they were natural and right. So many of our students come here like your Terry did, thinking that there is something wrong with them. You can help change that mind set."

"Okay, I almost see the teacher thing. Except, that I'm an English teacher and have really never taught anyone how to use these powers to anyone else. In my family, that's a mother's job. I've got no kids. And plus," and here she tried to make her voice more stern; worked when she was teaching, but she felt a little out of depth here, "there's more you want from me. You think I can be useful in other ways."

Xavier and the woman- were they ever going to get around to introductions in this strange little tea-party?- looked at each other, again, clearly surprised. "Well," hedged Xavier, "we are very interested in studying how the mutations have manifested themselves, genetically speaking."

Silence fell. Sera thinned the shields again, and focused on Xavier. He was telling the truth but there was a feeling of concealment to him as well. Not the whole truth then. "And?" she prompted, seeing what she could do to keep the shields lower while she talked. Tricky stuff that, but these people were having too many strange responses to statements she thought were perfectly logical, and shock-free. Full disclosure was obviously not these people's stock in trade, not by a long shot.

Xavier nodded his head slowly in response to her question. "And it is possible we could see some uses for your powers as well."

Now Sera could feel herself getting angry. Pretty soon they would feel it, too; that was the obvious downside to lowering the shields that she would project as well as receive. "Uses?" she asked, her voice lowered in a way that her students found out quickly meant trouble. "And what uses would those be?"

Yep, they were feeling her emotions. She could feel their confusion at suddenly feeling angry. Snarling, she wove the shields back up, picturing them like rich velvet curtains between her and them.

"Uses," agreed Xavier. "Your ability to project and manipulate feelings, and your ability to manipulate the human body. These can have uses."

She was suddenly glad that her shields were thick. From the look on Xavier's face, he didn't only mean in beneficial ways. "I'm a teacher!" she gritted out. "And after that, a healer. Not exactly what you would call defensive or offensive powers. So what uses could you possibly be thinking of?" Go on, say it, she silently dared. Tell me how these can be defensive and then tell me why. I can't wait to hear this.

Xavier stared at her for what felt like at least a minute. She held his gaze the whole time, never once breaking eye contact. She could sense his surprise at that but didn't dwell on it. There were other answers she wanted more. Eventually, he began to speak.

He had, he said, a dream. A dream of a world where mutants and humans could live peacefully, in unity. That dream, it seemed, was constantly in danger. There was danger from regular humans who wanted to keep the mutants where they could see them, through such things as the Mutant Registration Act, which she remembered well. There were also dangers from mutants who insisted on their supremacy over regular humans, constantly placing them in danger. Finally, there were dangers from other mutants who constantly showed their species in the worst possible light and which the regular human authorities were almost incapable of handling.

All of this coincided with the rumors that Sera had heard about Xavier. That he was associated with a group of near out-laws, mutants who showed up out of nowhere to battle with other mutants. She watched the news, she had heard of the X-Men. And if she wasn't mistaken, Xavier had just tactically admitted to her that he was not just buddies with them, but ran them. Strange risk to take with a near stranger.

"So..." she began slowly, trying to process the information, "what you want is, basically, for me to join your team of superheroes. For me to fight on your side."

"Sera." It was the first time Hank had spoken throughout this whole meeting and because she liked him, she gave him the benefit of her full attention. "So far as I can tell, it's your side, too. Everything you've told me, us, shows that you feel humans and mutants can coexist peacefully. Indeed, it's the apparent that this type of peace is the only thing you have ever known. Do you have any idea of how amazing that is to us?"

Sera could feel her mouth curl up in a bitter smirk. So those long talks were an interview of sorts, then? And she wasn't surprised when he wouldn't meet her eyes after that. Figures. "What you guys don't get... sure, it was peace where I grew up, in the little town in the middle of nowhere where I come from, where hardly any leaves and where my family has been forever, where we're known. Out here, in the rest of the world, it's peace cause I can pass for a regular human."

"Don't you want more than that?" said the woman and it was the first time Sera had heard her speak. "Don't you want that peace you grew up with for yourself, for others like you?"

"You don't know me," shot back Sera. "You can't presume to make any guesses about what I want, who I am..." Sera's voice trailed off. Those funny glances between the woman and Xavier, their surprise whenever she said anything straight out. Quick as a thought, she tore the shields down till they were nothing but gauze. Some kind of a guilt there, some kind of a confidence about Sera's responses. "Or maybe you know," Sera finished grimly, "because you've been crawling around in my mind all this time! You're a telepath, aren't you?" Guilt and surprise then. Hit the hammer on the head, there. Sera shook her head in disgust. "Shit! And your buddy Wolverine said I don't have any ethics! What do you call this, good bloody manners?"

"Our apologies, Miss Jannhanson," started Xavier. "It was necessary."

"I'll show you necessary!" retorted Sera. "Necessary is you show me some place I can be by myself, pronto, away from you mind-crawlers. I don't know what I think about any this stuff you just dumped on me, but I sure as hell know your recruitment tactics need some serious work!"

Hank stepped forward then. He looked the most apologetic. With her lowered shields, he could tell he felt pretty lousy about how this had gone and it made her like him again, at least a bit. A small bit. "Perhaps you would like the explore the grounds?" he ventured. "I could take you outside?"

"And stick by me like glue?"

"No, Sera," he corrected gently. "And let you be by yourself, as you clearly desire. We would not do that to you."

Sera felt the smallest bit of her anger fade, in the face of his gentleness. When she responded, it was in a much cooler tone of voice. "Yeah, that would be great, Hank. I'd like that. Thanks."

He escorted her out, leaving the others in the room alone. Sera had never been quite so happy to leave any place, for all she could tell they had only the best interests of the world at heart. Can't see the trees for the forest, she thought to herself. But her, she would prefer to see the trees. Like this one here, next to her, hoping they hadn't pushed her away.

"I don't hate you, you know," she offered, after a moment's silence. "I'm just disappointed."

"Understood."

The rest of the walk outside was completed in silence. Sometimes there's just nothing to say, and no right way to say it, even if there was.

When they reached the door, Hank finally spoke again, sounding awkward, "Well, here we are. I'll make sure the others know that you're friend and not foe."

As that was the nearly the worst thing he could have said, given that debacle of a meeting, Sera just glared and grunted out something that might be taken as a thank you. He smiled hopefully at her, his eyes, surrounded by the blue fur, wistful. She grunted again, and he left then, giving her the peace and quiet that she wanted so badly.

The grounds were beautiful. Grass, flowers, trees, she could even see a lake in the distance; it was a good place to try and calm down, to look at this whole situation, incredible and unbelievable as it seemed, in perspective. It was, no doubt about it, the strangest conversation she had ever had and she couldn't make up her mind about whether she felt flattered or insulted that they asked. And then there was the manner of their asking... where they always like that, so heavy handed? Did they have the right, as they so clearly felt? Was any of this right? Damn, her head hurt and she doubted that it was even noon yet. She had no idea of what to feel or think or do. Going home and curling up in her mother's lap sounded pretty tempting but even her 12 year old niece was too old for that stuff and she was the baby of the family. So, it was left to her, to decide what to do. That fleeting thought she had earlier, about her life changing, she was obviously much more right than she could have ever expected. What a surreal 24 hours. Maybe she could go back in time, just take Terry to the blasted emergency room, this time?

She'd been walking so long that her feet hurt, that the lake that was once in the distance was now very near. Sighing, she pushed forward just a bit more, towards a rock that looked perfect for sitting on and contemplating the black hole of confusion that her life had fallen into. A few more feet had her there and she climbed up, wrapping her arms around her bent legs and resting her chin on her knees. It was peaceful, no sights of the modern world, just the water, the trees and the sky. The wheeling of the birds over the water was almost hypnotic and so much more restful than her thoughts, that she gave herself up to just watching, mind blank, thoughts still as the water. Her shields were at their tightest, a warm cocoon around her heart, allowing for only her own feelings. She felt curiously at one with nature in a way she couldn't remember ever having felt before. She let herself go with it, floated away on the contentment she felt all around her.

Wolverine had gotten up early to walk the woods. He wasn't as angry as he had been the night before but when the anger had faded, it had left confusion behind. He'd heard from Jeannie that Xavier was gonna talk to Sera about joining the X-Men and he couldn't figure out how he felt about that. He was, however, real clear on the fact that he wanted to be nowhere nearby when they had that conversation with her. She seemed a real independent thinker that one, and he couldn't imagine how it would go. He guessed that she wouldn't bite anyone else but even that he wasn't willing to bet on. And if she said yes... he was going to have to think about being around that obvious of a nutcase for who knew how long.

Wolverine growled, annoyed. Damn woman hadn't been out of his thoughts for any stretch of time since he dragged her and the kid into the mansion. It was driving him nuts; she was contagious, that was it, she just spread her craziness round like the flu. That would explain why he was feeling this way.

Unbidden, he could picture her in his mind. Not classically beautiful, not by a long shot, but eye catching with her wild tangle of black hair and those amazing eyes. Those tattoos, so barely visible through her soaked shirt, he wanted to see what they were. She was short, shorter than him, and her body was thin but had enough curves for a guy to tell she was put together right. Yes, she was. And to Wolverine, whose senses were so important to him, there were the other, smaller details. He was never gonna be able to smell cinnamon again without her popping up in his brain.

Hell, he could smell it now; cinnamon... and rain... and stale beer. Stale beer? That was no memory. That was real. Sprinting, he ran forward to the lake. He couldn't even bring himself to be surprised to see her, perched on a large stone, staring out into the water peacefully. Wolverine slowed, decided to approach quietly. Moving through the light woods easily he felt, as he always did, as one with nature around him. This was a world he understood, even better than he understood himself. No missing pieces here, he just part of the whole. He came out of the woods and stood behind her, surprised when she didn't react at all. Woman's got not sense o' self-preservation, she lets someone get this close to her.

"Wolverine," she said suddenly, not even turning. Her voice was calm, not at all surprised. Had she known he was there?

"Yeah, it's me. How'd you know? I know I wasn't making that much noise, not with how spaced out you were."

"I was feeling really in touch with nature," she replied, finally turning around a bit, those uncanny eyes of hers focused somewhere off in the distance. "Then it started to hit me as odd that I felt that at peace. So I figured it was you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Ain't you got shields for that trick of yours? Jeannie can read minds, but she's not on all the time like you seem to be."

"Jeannie's the red head? And yes, I do have shields. It's just they seem to short out around you." She blushed at that, catching him by surprise. "And why," she seemed to wonder out loud, "why did I just tell you that?"

He climbed up on the rock next to her, since she was for once not driving him batty. "Obviously yer babbling," he suggested, as she scooted over to make room for him. She bared her teeth at him, but it seemed a half-hearted attempt to say the least. She was a lot less feisty this morning, he couldn't help but notice. On the other hand, it was probably good news that she didn't respond to everything he did by biting him. "Something botherin' ya, darlin'?" he asked, when it came clear that she wasn't going to say anything.

She sighed. "No, everything is just peachy-keen. Why do you ask?"

"I dunno. Rock in the middle of nowhere. You haven't drawn blood. You don't seem yourself."

She cringed at the blood bit. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Uh-uh," he said, a feral grin spreading across his face. "What you gotta apologize for ain't biting, cause that was almost funny. What you gotta apologize for is telling Scott and Jean it was foreplay."

A one-sided grin flashed across her face. "Nah. That was even funnier. You should have seen the looks on their faces."

Wolverine laughed. "Well, as long as ya did it for the right reasons then." A quiet pause followed. She was being careful-girl today, he couldn't help but notice. No eye contact, no part of her body touching his.

"Seriously, what's the deal?"

A longer pause. He thought she wanted to look at him but had decided that was a real bad idea. She seemed to wrestle with something in her mind. Wolverine. "You an X-Man?"

"So they did talk to you. Jeannie said they were going to. Yeah, I am. That a problem?"

She shook her head abruptly. "No. Yes. I dunno. Why would they want me? You, yeah, that I can see. Me? Harder. But, past that, why? I mean, man, I don't even make sense to myself here. Why are you one?"

"Why?" There was a question he hadn't thought about in a while. "Look at me, darlin'. Only," he hastened to add as she turned his eyes on him, "no weird stuff. Just... look." Her eyes traveled up and down his body.

He wished he could meet them; he had never realized quite how important eye contact was. He wanted, almost needed, to get some sort of a feel for what she was thinking. About the X-men. About him. "You see what I am. A fighter. Not really much else I can be. Seemed a good thing to fight for. Seemed a good group of people to fight with. Good people to fight for. That's important, ya know, to trust who yer fightin' for."

"So," she asked slowly, "you do trust him? Them?"

A pause. "Much as I trust anything, I guess."

"You do," she said, wonderingly. "I can feel it."

"Ah, hell. Feel it? You weren't kidding when ya said I shorted out your shields, huh?" Wolverine felt almost embarrassed. He had never given much of a thought to his feelings. He could hide most anything, but apparently not from her. He breathed deeply. Turn about was fair play. He couldn't read her emotions, but some things left a scent. No fear, but then, she had never seemed afraid of him. Yes... the faintest whiff of interest, her body showing her what her actions hid. Well, that answered the question of what she thought about him. He felt a rush a purely male pride. He had impressed a female.

"I can feel that, too, you know," Sera said quietly and he flushed. Quick as a snake, she took his face in her hand and stared him right in the eye.

How had this gotten out of hand so quickly, some small part of Sera's mind couldn't help wondering as she took his face in her hand and brought her eyes up to his. Not only could he slide inside her shields like no one she had ever met before, her emotions when she was around him seemed to spiral out of control. Some of it was him, that much was clear, but some was her as well. And a frighteningly large amount seemed to be simply them together. Not good.

Their eyes met and she was lost in a swirl of emotions again; primal this time, no words needed and obviously neither of them were really thinking or this never would have happened. Without breaking eye contact, she kissed him and felt the emotions flare; hers and his, insta-chemistry and not like anything else she had ever experienced, almost frighteningly intense. His hands grabbed her, his arms wrapped around her and some small part of her was afraid, remembering those claws that had come out of nowhere. But they stayed hidden, leaving only a strength she sensed he was just managing to control. Her control was gone; there was only this one moment in time. Only him and the riot of emotion swirling around them.

Gasping, she broke both the kiss and the eye contact, swearing. Looking shaken, he pulled back, following her lead. Sera concentrated on staring at the nice, benign lake. Calm lake, calm waters. She wasn't calm and neither was the man next to her, who still seemed to be holding on to his self-control by only the thinnest of threads. "Shit," she muttered, almost reflectively.

"No kidding. What the hell was that?"

"A problem, that's what that was."

The slightest shiver of anger there. "Wanna explain that?"

"It'll piss you off."

"So will you not telling me. This way, at least I got something clear to pissed about."

"I've got a boyfriend." Well, that was hard to say aloud. And her call was right; he was pissed, she call feel it shimmering off him, strong enough for it to be hard for her to control her own emotions.

"No. You. Don't," he spit out.

"Saying that isn't going make it less true."

"Dump him." A lower growl this time, his control slipping.

"You want me to end a three year relationship over some weird thing I can't understand or explain?"

No words this time, just a snarl and another wave of rage. She held on to her own sense of self through sheer strength of will. He was scary like this, his feelings so overwhelming strong. She had always viewed herself as independent, strong willed and centered. She had never been easily pushed off balance but Wolverine was managing to. In desperation, she leaped down from the stone. A strong arm caught hers before she could run off.

"Where you going?" His voice was so low she could barely hear it, lost as he was in his anger.

"Away from here. Think it through and let me the hell go." Fighting her own emotions past his anger, she tried to project calmness. Fear would be bad, very bad. she couldn't tell if she was making any head way at all and then, suddenly, he let go.

"Go!" he gritted out. "Just go!"

She forced herself to walk, although she wanted nothing more in the world to run like hell. His emotions felt barely human, barely in his ability to control and she didn't want to do anything to make him break that hold. He wasn't just a fighter, he was a hunter, a predator, and if she ran, it would only invite a chase. Slowly, she walked back into the wooded area. She could feel his eyes on her the whole way.

Bloody hell. And Xavier wanted her here? That was a brilliant idea.