by Alias
Disclaimer: Don't own it, won't own it, wish I did. Damn you, episode 50. I'm not going to accept it Toei. Not in a million years.
I thought of maybe changing this to Ken's POV about in the middle, but changed my mind and kept dear Diasuke. Sweet sweet Daisuke. I love writing from his POV.
Haha! New fic from me. This time- dundundun. A Takedai! I haven't even tried this one yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stare at the spot where you just stood. It's empty now, so incredibly empty.
I won't leave for a while, I can't. I just look and see the exact point where my heart was crushed.
How could I be so stupid? How could I ever think that something so bizarre could work?
Gads, my life just sucks. It blows. I hate it, I hate the world. I hate everything.
Except you. I can't hate you, no matter how hard I try.
Do you know how long it took me to get here? All the time, lying in my bed trying to figure out my incredibly fucked-up mind.
My thoughts raced over and over again, thinking of you, trying to forget I love you, trying to push my feelings deep inside. I tried SO hard, every night.
I don't think I've slept in a long time.
Why did I think this would work? Why did I think that you would return my feelings?
God, how could I be gay? Me? The prized soccer star, the leader. Courage, friendship. Pretty meaningless now. I had courage, you crushed it. I had the courage to say to you, I love you. And what did you do? Walked away. You just walked away. Forever. Gone. And friendship, what a laugh. If you were my friend, how could you do what you did?
I thought about this meating over and over again. I thought that the worst thing you could do was say no. Fuck, how wrong I was. This was much worse. You walked away, leaving me right here. It feels like an hour about now. I don't really know. All I know is that the tears still haven't stopped streaming down my face.
It's really dark. I think I said to meet at 8. Now it would be 9. No one is in the park now, they've all gone home. I don't want to go home.
I hope you burn in hell. You could have said no, goddamn you. You could have said yes. You could have taken me up in an elaborate kiss and said that we would live happily ever after. But you walked away.
I still do not know how I could be so stupid. Why did I think that you would be gay? Or even, that you would like me?
I showed you the pictures in my sketch book. Right before you left, that is. I showed the pictures I had drawn of you. The beautiful sketches of you I made from the indemdible impression you have made on my mind.
You almost laughed at them. At least I can be thankful you didn't.
The deep drawings I had made of you. Beautiful, fantastic you. You are a fabulous muse, I should tell you that.
You could see the detail. I made your hair to the exact detail. Without the hat though. You never looked good in that hat.
Correction, you looked great, just like always. But it made you look so ridiculous.
Damn you, Takeru. How could you do that? Just walk away. I can almost see you standing where you were. Before my life spiraled deeper into hell.
You were the only thing I lived for. The only thing I could think about, for a long time. All the agony I went through to admit to myself I loved you. And then admit it to you.
Damn, 3 years of loving you. 3 years of my life, apparantly wasted. Three years of telling myself, 'You'll talk to him tomorrow.'
Sure, we had grown apart a bit, after I started to hit on Hikari less and less. But you didn't move on her. You didn't do anything.
Why is that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a VERY big, VERY serious fic. TONS of angst. TONS of saddness/depressingness whatever. I am SUPER proud of this one, I reread it and it is SO good. I argue that this is the best I've writen so far. I think all of my comedy is complete crap, but hey, I've never had high self esteem. Ever been to one of those seminars? They have them all the time at my school. I think it's bullshit. Me and my friends just make fun of the guy at the front saying 'love yourselfs'.
Disclaimer: Don't own it, won't own it, wish I did. Damn you, episode 50. I'm not going to accept it Toei. Not in a million years.
I thought of maybe changing this to Ken's POV about in the middle, but changed my mind and kept dear Diasuke. Sweet sweet Daisuke. I love writing from his POV.
Haha! New fic from me. This time- dundundun. A Takedai! I haven't even tried this one yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stare at the spot where you just stood. It's empty now, so incredibly empty.
I won't leave for a while, I can't. I just look and see the exact point where my heart was crushed.
How could I be so stupid? How could I ever think that something so bizarre could work?
Gads, my life just sucks. It blows. I hate it, I hate the world. I hate everything.
Except you. I can't hate you, no matter how hard I try.
Do you know how long it took me to get here? All the time, lying in my bed trying to figure out my incredibly fucked-up mind.
My thoughts raced over and over again, thinking of you, trying to forget I love you, trying to push my feelings deep inside. I tried SO hard, every night.
I don't think I've slept in a long time.
Why did I think this would work? Why did I think that you would return my feelings?
God, how could I be gay? Me? The prized soccer star, the leader. Courage, friendship. Pretty meaningless now. I had courage, you crushed it. I had the courage to say to you, I love you. And what did you do? Walked away. You just walked away. Forever. Gone. And friendship, what a laugh. If you were my friend, how could you do what you did?
I thought about this meating over and over again. I thought that the worst thing you could do was say no. Fuck, how wrong I was. This was much worse. You walked away, leaving me right here. It feels like an hour about now. I don't really know. All I know is that the tears still haven't stopped streaming down my face.
It's really dark. I think I said to meet at 8. Now it would be 9. No one is in the park now, they've all gone home. I don't want to go home.
I hope you burn in hell. You could have said no, goddamn you. You could have said yes. You could have taken me up in an elaborate kiss and said that we would live happily ever after. But you walked away.
I still do not know how I could be so stupid. Why did I think that you would be gay? Or even, that you would like me?
I showed you the pictures in my sketch book. Right before you left, that is. I showed the pictures I had drawn of you. The beautiful sketches of you I made from the indemdible impression you have made on my mind.
You almost laughed at them. At least I can be thankful you didn't.
The deep drawings I had made of you. Beautiful, fantastic you. You are a fabulous muse, I should tell you that.
You could see the detail. I made your hair to the exact detail. Without the hat though. You never looked good in that hat.
Correction, you looked great, just like always. But it made you look so ridiculous.
Damn you, Takeru. How could you do that? Just walk away. I can almost see you standing where you were. Before my life spiraled deeper into hell.
You were the only thing I lived for. The only thing I could think about, for a long time. All the agony I went through to admit to myself I loved you. And then admit it to you.
Damn, 3 years of loving you. 3 years of my life, apparantly wasted. Three years of telling myself, 'You'll talk to him tomorrow.'
Sure, we had grown apart a bit, after I started to hit on Hikari less and less. But you didn't move on her. You didn't do anything.
Why is that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a VERY big, VERY serious fic. TONS of angst. TONS of saddness/depressingness whatever. I am SUPER proud of this one, I reread it and it is SO good. I argue that this is the best I've writen so far. I think all of my comedy is complete crap, but hey, I've never had high self esteem. Ever been to one of those seminars? They have them all the time at my school. I think it's bullshit. Me and my friends just make fun of the guy at the front saying 'love yourselfs'.