Leigha sat on the windowseat in the drawingroom watching the rain pour down.
A book lay in her lap, still on the page she had opened it to an hour ago.
Instead of reading it, she traced lazy hearts on the cold glass and smiled
dreamily, her thoughts on Archie and the picnic two weeks ago. She blushed
slightly as other thoughts of that day came to her in vivid clarity. She put
her hand to her flushed cheek and recalled the excitement of that moment. How
she couldn't think of anything but the feel of Archie, the scent of Archie,
and the delicious weight of him against her. She, God forgive her sinful
thoughts, couldn't wait to explore those sensations again.
Then she sighed morosely, those things weren't likely to happen again for a
good while. He had been disappointingly proper towards her, even his kisses
were chaste! And then, he had a sent a message around to her stating that he
and Horatio had been summoned back to Plymouth. She cried herself to sleep
that night, thinking that he would not return for a long while.
"Not a great start to being brave." She chided herself, before drifting on
into a restless slumber.
Two days ago, she had received another message from him. This one said that
they should be returning to London within the week. Repairs on the Indy were
being delayed due to the arrival of a shipment of badly warped lumber; which
now had to be shipped back and replaced, thus, setting back the repair date
by another two weeks at least.
"If ye please, Miss Leigha? Milady be wantin' ye to attend to her." Pansy,
Leona's maid, came into the room to deliver the message.
"Thank you. Where is she, Pansy?" Leigha asked, wondering what menial task
Leona had set aside for her.
"She's still abed, Miss."
"Inform her that I'll be up directly, Pansy."
"Ais, Miss Leigha."
Leigha put the book aside, tucked Archie's note in her pocket, and with a
sigh headed upstairs to attend Leona.
"Madame, you wished to see me?"
"Oh, Leigha...thank God. Come in, dear, hurry."
Leigha glanced at her stepmother with surprise and suspicion on her face. She
entered the bedchamber warily, then took one good glance at Leona and her
suspicion became concern. Leona was pale and clammy and she knelt at the side
of her bed with her head over the chamberpot, retching miserably.
"Pansy," Leigha ordered, taking charge if the situation, "get milady some
weak tea with plenty of sugar and some dry toast."
"Ais, Miss Leigha." Pansy said with a curtsey and hurried to do as she was
bid.
Leigha then wet a cloth and brought it over to Leona. She gently helped her
back onto the bed and wiped her brow and flushed face.
"How long have you been like this?" Leigha asked.
"Oh, for about a week now, but it usually passes by midmorning."
"By midmorning, you say? Leona, forgive me for not being delicate, when was
your last flow?"
"My last flow? Oh, I don't know...mayhap, two months ago. Why do you ask?"
"Do you think you could be with child?" Leigha asked hesitantly. "I remember
Aunt Clara being sick in the mornings when was enceinte."
"With child?" Leona asked in surprise, "I never considered that. Damn your
father!"
Then, suddenly she smiled, not with happiness but with smug satisfaction,
"Now that changes everything, doesn't it?"
Leigha looked at her stepmother in consideration, before replying, "Pansy,
should be up with your breakfast. Eat it, it'll help settle your stomach.
Perhaps, you should stay abed today and take it easy?"
"Yes," Leona beamed, "I believe I shall. Send your father up to me when he
returns."
"I will." Leigha promised.
"Leigha? Aren't you going to congratulate me?"
"Of course, Leona," She replied, forcing a smile, "I'm very happy for you and
father."
She shut the door gently behind her, leaned against it and closed her eyes.
She *was* happy for her father, but she couldn't help feeling some envy.
Envy, because someone like Leona, a woman who could never love a child, was
being so blessed. Leigha longed for a family of her own. A husband to lavish
love on and brood of children they could both adore and spoil. She touched
the note in pocket lovingly and turned in the direction of her room.
Genny's room door flew open and with a smile of satisfaction, identical to
her sister's, Genny invited Leigha in for a chat.
"Could this day get any worse?" Leigha thought to herself.
****************************************************************
Archie and Horatio rode the post on their from Plymouth to London. Both
trying to hang onto balance and dignity as the coach rumbled it's way over
very bad roads.
"Damn," Archie grumbled, rubbing his head where it had smacked against the
window frame," Must the driver seek out every rut in the road?"
Horatio shifted gingerly, trying to find an area on his abused posterior that
wasn't already bruised, "Oh, Archie, must you exaggerate? He hasn't hit
*every* rut, I believe he missed at least two."
"Just like you, Mr. Hornblower, to be counting them." Archie answered with a
grin.
Horatio chuckled and shifted once more. Silence descended, except for the
grunts and murmured curses. They both stared out the window and tried to
admire the changing landscape.
"Horatio?" Archie asked hesitantly.
"Mmmmmm...?" Horatio responded absently.
"I think I'm going to ask Leigha fro her hand."
"Think, Archie? Are you not sure? Do you not care as much for her as you
believed?"
"Oh, no! I have learned that, on my part, absence *has* made the heart grow
fonder, it's just that..." Archie trailed off.
"Just what?" Horatio prodded gently.
"I don't deserve her. She's too good for me. Too pure for me to even think
about touching. I have nothing to offer her. I'm a broken shell of a man,
prone to fits and panic attacks." Archie answered, his feelings pouring out
in a bitter rush.
Horatio stayed silent a moment, he pulled at his lower lip as he tried to
think of the best way to handle this situation. Sometimes, with Archie, it
was hard to figure what was the best approach to take; especially when he was
consumed by his self-hatred and doubts.
"Archie," Horatio began carefully, "there is nothing wrong with you. You have
not had a fit in several months now and I saw no signs of panic when we
engaged The Celeste, I witnessed only bravery on your behalf. Besides,
shouldn't it be Leigha who makes the decision as to whether you deserve her
or not? If she's willing to accept you as you are, how can you complain?"
"Horatio, she has no clue *what* I truly am, what nightmares I've had to
endure."
"Then tell her, Archie."
"I can't do that, I can't burden her. She's a gently raised lady, she'd never
understand." Archie protested.
"Look, you'll have to tell her something. If you pull away now, you'll only
hurt her. Do you want her to think ill of you? Do wish her to believe that
mayhap it was only her fortune you cared about after all? Because that is
exactly the conclusion everyone will come to. Can you hold her up to that
kind of ridicule? You love her, Archie, won't being without her only make you
miserable? Is that what you want?'
Archie remained silent and looked everywhere but at Horatio.
"My God! Do you really think you deserve this much misery? Why can't you
allow yourself happiness? It's *not* going to be snatched away from you, as
you seem to think."
"But it is, it always is. When things get better, something else comes along
and ruins it. I don't have your damnable luck, Horatio. I don't have your
charmed life, you know." Archie said, the envy he usually kept bottled away,
showing itself.
"It's not *like* that." Horatio protested.
"It's *exactly* like that." Archie sneered in response.
Horatio sighed, "Archie, we've had this conversation before, and, no, you
don't have my luck, but you have something infinitely better...you have the
love of a wonderful woman. What do I truly have compared to that?"
Archie laid his head back against the cushion of the coach and closed his
eyes wearily, "Your right, your absolutely right, But I'm...scared, Horatio.
What will I do if she's taken from me? I know I'll be happy with her, but I
always seem to have these black clouds that hang over my head. Is it fair to
her? Should I ask her to live this life with me?"
"Let her decide. That is all you can do. Trust her judgment and believe in
her strength."
****************************************************************
Leigha was developing a headache. How much worse was this day going to get?
She rubbed her temples as she lay back on her bed and contemplated the
ceiling, as if it contained the answer to the question she just posed. For
over two hours her home had been in an uproar.
Leigha's father had come back from his club, and was immediately sent
upstairs to his wife. Leigha had sat in the parlor with Genny and listened to
her drone on and on about the Duke of Belshear, who was coming for tea and
also to discuss marriage arrangements with Sir Ainsley.
Wasn't it marvelous? Genevieve had asked Leigha, that Leona had only managed
to snare a Knight of the Realm and Leigha a mere naval officer (though there
were doubts about that coming to fruition) while she, the glorious Genevieve
Margaret Elizabeth D'Armond, was to get a Duke.
Leigha's hand itched to slap the smirk off of Genny's beautiful face,
"Besides" she told herself, "no amount of kissing from Princess Genevieve is
ever going to turn His Grace, the Bullfrog of Belshear, into a handsome
prince."
At that moment, Sommes and Leona came into the parlor together, and in her
excitement, Genny rushed to them exclaiming, "Oh, Brother, have you
forgotten? You cannot greet His Grace in those clothing. Too casual by far!
He is to ask for my hand, and you must prove that you are not going to be an
undesired connection; or all will fall through! Is this not right, Leona? Oh,
Sister! How exciting!"
Any other time, Leona would have joined in her sister's merriment and they
both would have banded together to lord Genny's triumph over Leigha. Today,
though, she had no time for her sister when her own news was far more
paramount.
"Yes, yes, Genevieve, it's all very well." She said, shortly to her sister.
"Where is Charles?"
"Here I am, Madame." A young man, said from the doorway.
Leigha smiled fondly at her twelve-year-old brother and patted the space
beside her on the chaise lounges. He returned the smile as he came to sit
next to her. His brown eyes filled with curiosity and trepidation. Leigha
ruffled his brown curls, so like her own, in reassurance.
"We have gathered the family together for an announcement of an event that
will bring great changes, as well as, great joy to us," Sommes began, " Leona
and I are to have a child."
Genny. who was in the midst of preening, stopped dead still as the words sank
in and she realized they had nothing to do with her. Suddenly, she leapt up
and screamed at her sister, "NO! YOU HAD TO RUIN MY DAY, DIDN'T YOU!? THIS WAS MEANT FOR ME! IT WAS TO BE MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT! HOW DARE YOU!"
"Oh, Genny, be still! Must you be dramatic?" Leona snapped.
"I WILL NOT!!!!" Genny yelled back, and from there a strident argument ensued.
Charles sighed and rolled his eyes at Leigha, then a devilish light came into
his eyes and over the din, Charles made the declaration that if there was to
be a new child, then he would join the navy, like Mr. Kennedy. Sommes, who
was already annoyed with his wife and sister-in-law, did not find this funny
and quickly another heated argument sprung up between father and son. Leigha, soon, was battered at from all parties to take a side.
She looked up in relief when Buckston cautiously opened the door and caught
her eye. She made her way to the butler and hurriedly closed the door behind her.
"A message for you, Miss Leigha, just arrived." He said holding out the
salver. She took the letter and escaped upstairs to her room, where she
closed out the chaos of the household.
And here she laid for the last two hours, holding the message against her
chest and praying it was from Archie. Finally, she could no longer stand the
suspense and she eagerly broke the seal. She paled at what she read, it
chilled her to the very marrow of her bones.
Miss Sommes,
You have no clue as to my identity, and it must remain so. I have heard from
an acquaintance that you are being courted by a Lt. Archibald Kennedy. I am,
also, to understand that you are an innocent young lady of sizable fortune,
and I cannot in good conscience, remain silent on certain information I have
regarding Lt. Kennedy.
I pray this reaches you before you pledge your troth to him. Madame, he is
not what he seems. I know him for what he truly is, Miss Sommes; and that
truth is that Archie Kennedy is a sodomite, a lover of men. You have only to
mention the name Jack Simpson to him or his men, and you will see the guilt
and the truth of it on their faces. I will not go into detail, as you are a
genteel lady of good birth and decent upbringing, but I will go so far as to
say, that many suspect more to his close friendship with Lt. Hornblower than
meets the eye.
I apologize if I have shocked you, but I believe this unpleasant business of
informing you to be my duty.
A Friend.
Leigha dropped the letter as though it had burned her, she stared at it in
horror. She couldn't believe what she just read, Archie a...a...sodomite? No,
that couldn't be true. He couldn't have kissed her or touched her as he did,
unless he was an excellent actor.
She, quickly picked up the letter and hid it under her mattress where it
would remain out of sight. She'd wait until she saw Archie again, then she
would show him the letter and find out the truth for herself.
Pray God, it was all a lie.
A book lay in her lap, still on the page she had opened it to an hour ago.
Instead of reading it, she traced lazy hearts on the cold glass and smiled
dreamily, her thoughts on Archie and the picnic two weeks ago. She blushed
slightly as other thoughts of that day came to her in vivid clarity. She put
her hand to her flushed cheek and recalled the excitement of that moment. How
she couldn't think of anything but the feel of Archie, the scent of Archie,
and the delicious weight of him against her. She, God forgive her sinful
thoughts, couldn't wait to explore those sensations again.
Then she sighed morosely, those things weren't likely to happen again for a
good while. He had been disappointingly proper towards her, even his kisses
were chaste! And then, he had a sent a message around to her stating that he
and Horatio had been summoned back to Plymouth. She cried herself to sleep
that night, thinking that he would not return for a long while.
"Not a great start to being brave." She chided herself, before drifting on
into a restless slumber.
Two days ago, she had received another message from him. This one said that
they should be returning to London within the week. Repairs on the Indy were
being delayed due to the arrival of a shipment of badly warped lumber; which
now had to be shipped back and replaced, thus, setting back the repair date
by another two weeks at least.
"If ye please, Miss Leigha? Milady be wantin' ye to attend to her." Pansy,
Leona's maid, came into the room to deliver the message.
"Thank you. Where is she, Pansy?" Leigha asked, wondering what menial task
Leona had set aside for her.
"She's still abed, Miss."
"Inform her that I'll be up directly, Pansy."
"Ais, Miss Leigha."
Leigha put the book aside, tucked Archie's note in her pocket, and with a
sigh headed upstairs to attend Leona.
"Madame, you wished to see me?"
"Oh, Leigha...thank God. Come in, dear, hurry."
Leigha glanced at her stepmother with surprise and suspicion on her face. She
entered the bedchamber warily, then took one good glance at Leona and her
suspicion became concern. Leona was pale and clammy and she knelt at the side
of her bed with her head over the chamberpot, retching miserably.
"Pansy," Leigha ordered, taking charge if the situation, "get milady some
weak tea with plenty of sugar and some dry toast."
"Ais, Miss Leigha." Pansy said with a curtsey and hurried to do as she was
bid.
Leigha then wet a cloth and brought it over to Leona. She gently helped her
back onto the bed and wiped her brow and flushed face.
"How long have you been like this?" Leigha asked.
"Oh, for about a week now, but it usually passes by midmorning."
"By midmorning, you say? Leona, forgive me for not being delicate, when was
your last flow?"
"My last flow? Oh, I don't know...mayhap, two months ago. Why do you ask?"
"Do you think you could be with child?" Leigha asked hesitantly. "I remember
Aunt Clara being sick in the mornings when was enceinte."
"With child?" Leona asked in surprise, "I never considered that. Damn your
father!"
Then, suddenly she smiled, not with happiness but with smug satisfaction,
"Now that changes everything, doesn't it?"
Leigha looked at her stepmother in consideration, before replying, "Pansy,
should be up with your breakfast. Eat it, it'll help settle your stomach.
Perhaps, you should stay abed today and take it easy?"
"Yes," Leona beamed, "I believe I shall. Send your father up to me when he
returns."
"I will." Leigha promised.
"Leigha? Aren't you going to congratulate me?"
"Of course, Leona," She replied, forcing a smile, "I'm very happy for you and
father."
She shut the door gently behind her, leaned against it and closed her eyes.
She *was* happy for her father, but she couldn't help feeling some envy.
Envy, because someone like Leona, a woman who could never love a child, was
being so blessed. Leigha longed for a family of her own. A husband to lavish
love on and brood of children they could both adore and spoil. She touched
the note in pocket lovingly and turned in the direction of her room.
Genny's room door flew open and with a smile of satisfaction, identical to
her sister's, Genny invited Leigha in for a chat.
"Could this day get any worse?" Leigha thought to herself.
****************************************************************
Archie and Horatio rode the post on their from Plymouth to London. Both
trying to hang onto balance and dignity as the coach rumbled it's way over
very bad roads.
"Damn," Archie grumbled, rubbing his head where it had smacked against the
window frame," Must the driver seek out every rut in the road?"
Horatio shifted gingerly, trying to find an area on his abused posterior that
wasn't already bruised, "Oh, Archie, must you exaggerate? He hasn't hit
*every* rut, I believe he missed at least two."
"Just like you, Mr. Hornblower, to be counting them." Archie answered with a
grin.
Horatio chuckled and shifted once more. Silence descended, except for the
grunts and murmured curses. They both stared out the window and tried to
admire the changing landscape.
"Horatio?" Archie asked hesitantly.
"Mmmmmm...?" Horatio responded absently.
"I think I'm going to ask Leigha fro her hand."
"Think, Archie? Are you not sure? Do you not care as much for her as you
believed?"
"Oh, no! I have learned that, on my part, absence *has* made the heart grow
fonder, it's just that..." Archie trailed off.
"Just what?" Horatio prodded gently.
"I don't deserve her. She's too good for me. Too pure for me to even think
about touching. I have nothing to offer her. I'm a broken shell of a man,
prone to fits and panic attacks." Archie answered, his feelings pouring out
in a bitter rush.
Horatio stayed silent a moment, he pulled at his lower lip as he tried to
think of the best way to handle this situation. Sometimes, with Archie, it
was hard to figure what was the best approach to take; especially when he was
consumed by his self-hatred and doubts.
"Archie," Horatio began carefully, "there is nothing wrong with you. You have
not had a fit in several months now and I saw no signs of panic when we
engaged The Celeste, I witnessed only bravery on your behalf. Besides,
shouldn't it be Leigha who makes the decision as to whether you deserve her
or not? If she's willing to accept you as you are, how can you complain?"
"Horatio, she has no clue *what* I truly am, what nightmares I've had to
endure."
"Then tell her, Archie."
"I can't do that, I can't burden her. She's a gently raised lady, she'd never
understand." Archie protested.
"Look, you'll have to tell her something. If you pull away now, you'll only
hurt her. Do you want her to think ill of you? Do wish her to believe that
mayhap it was only her fortune you cared about after all? Because that is
exactly the conclusion everyone will come to. Can you hold her up to that
kind of ridicule? You love her, Archie, won't being without her only make you
miserable? Is that what you want?'
Archie remained silent and looked everywhere but at Horatio.
"My God! Do you really think you deserve this much misery? Why can't you
allow yourself happiness? It's *not* going to be snatched away from you, as
you seem to think."
"But it is, it always is. When things get better, something else comes along
and ruins it. I don't have your damnable luck, Horatio. I don't have your
charmed life, you know." Archie said, the envy he usually kept bottled away,
showing itself.
"It's not *like* that." Horatio protested.
"It's *exactly* like that." Archie sneered in response.
Horatio sighed, "Archie, we've had this conversation before, and, no, you
don't have my luck, but you have something infinitely better...you have the
love of a wonderful woman. What do I truly have compared to that?"
Archie laid his head back against the cushion of the coach and closed his
eyes wearily, "Your right, your absolutely right, But I'm...scared, Horatio.
What will I do if she's taken from me? I know I'll be happy with her, but I
always seem to have these black clouds that hang over my head. Is it fair to
her? Should I ask her to live this life with me?"
"Let her decide. That is all you can do. Trust her judgment and believe in
her strength."
****************************************************************
Leigha was developing a headache. How much worse was this day going to get?
She rubbed her temples as she lay back on her bed and contemplated the
ceiling, as if it contained the answer to the question she just posed. For
over two hours her home had been in an uproar.
Leigha's father had come back from his club, and was immediately sent
upstairs to his wife. Leigha had sat in the parlor with Genny and listened to
her drone on and on about the Duke of Belshear, who was coming for tea and
also to discuss marriage arrangements with Sir Ainsley.
Wasn't it marvelous? Genevieve had asked Leigha, that Leona had only managed
to snare a Knight of the Realm and Leigha a mere naval officer (though there
were doubts about that coming to fruition) while she, the glorious Genevieve
Margaret Elizabeth D'Armond, was to get a Duke.
Leigha's hand itched to slap the smirk off of Genny's beautiful face,
"Besides" she told herself, "no amount of kissing from Princess Genevieve is
ever going to turn His Grace, the Bullfrog of Belshear, into a handsome
prince."
At that moment, Sommes and Leona came into the parlor together, and in her
excitement, Genny rushed to them exclaiming, "Oh, Brother, have you
forgotten? You cannot greet His Grace in those clothing. Too casual by far!
He is to ask for my hand, and you must prove that you are not going to be an
undesired connection; or all will fall through! Is this not right, Leona? Oh,
Sister! How exciting!"
Any other time, Leona would have joined in her sister's merriment and they
both would have banded together to lord Genny's triumph over Leigha. Today,
though, she had no time for her sister when her own news was far more
paramount.
"Yes, yes, Genevieve, it's all very well." She said, shortly to her sister.
"Where is Charles?"
"Here I am, Madame." A young man, said from the doorway.
Leigha smiled fondly at her twelve-year-old brother and patted the space
beside her on the chaise lounges. He returned the smile as he came to sit
next to her. His brown eyes filled with curiosity and trepidation. Leigha
ruffled his brown curls, so like her own, in reassurance.
"We have gathered the family together for an announcement of an event that
will bring great changes, as well as, great joy to us," Sommes began, " Leona
and I are to have a child."
Genny. who was in the midst of preening, stopped dead still as the words sank
in and she realized they had nothing to do with her. Suddenly, she leapt up
and screamed at her sister, "NO! YOU HAD TO RUIN MY DAY, DIDN'T YOU!? THIS WAS MEANT FOR ME! IT WAS TO BE MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT! HOW DARE YOU!"
"Oh, Genny, be still! Must you be dramatic?" Leona snapped.
"I WILL NOT!!!!" Genny yelled back, and from there a strident argument ensued.
Charles sighed and rolled his eyes at Leigha, then a devilish light came into
his eyes and over the din, Charles made the declaration that if there was to
be a new child, then he would join the navy, like Mr. Kennedy. Sommes, who
was already annoyed with his wife and sister-in-law, did not find this funny
and quickly another heated argument sprung up between father and son. Leigha, soon, was battered at from all parties to take a side.
She looked up in relief when Buckston cautiously opened the door and caught
her eye. She made her way to the butler and hurriedly closed the door behind her.
"A message for you, Miss Leigha, just arrived." He said holding out the
salver. She took the letter and escaped upstairs to her room, where she
closed out the chaos of the household.
And here she laid for the last two hours, holding the message against her
chest and praying it was from Archie. Finally, she could no longer stand the
suspense and she eagerly broke the seal. She paled at what she read, it
chilled her to the very marrow of her bones.
Miss Sommes,
You have no clue as to my identity, and it must remain so. I have heard from
an acquaintance that you are being courted by a Lt. Archibald Kennedy. I am,
also, to understand that you are an innocent young lady of sizable fortune,
and I cannot in good conscience, remain silent on certain information I have
regarding Lt. Kennedy.
I pray this reaches you before you pledge your troth to him. Madame, he is
not what he seems. I know him for what he truly is, Miss Sommes; and that
truth is that Archie Kennedy is a sodomite, a lover of men. You have only to
mention the name Jack Simpson to him or his men, and you will see the guilt
and the truth of it on their faces. I will not go into detail, as you are a
genteel lady of good birth and decent upbringing, but I will go so far as to
say, that many suspect more to his close friendship with Lt. Hornblower than
meets the eye.
I apologize if I have shocked you, but I believe this unpleasant business of
informing you to be my duty.
A Friend.
Leigha dropped the letter as though it had burned her, she stared at it in
horror. She couldn't believe what she just read, Archie a...a...sodomite? No,
that couldn't be true. He couldn't have kissed her or touched her as he did,
unless he was an excellent actor.
She, quickly picked up the letter and hid it under her mattress where it
would remain out of sight. She'd wait until she saw Archie again, then she
would show him the letter and find out the truth for herself.
Pray God, it was all a lie.