Author's sidekick's note: Hi! I'm Sana-chan and I must say sorry for my "friend's" brain, the fact that she doesn't have one I understand but you might not. It is infact possible that you can live with out having a brain. My "Friend" is living prof of it. Enjoy.

Ohh! Wait!!! I have to tell you that each chapter is going to be a different author, but telling it from a diff. point of view. If you are confused, don't worry so am I and just read it and eat. Enjoy!

The Helpless Chicken

It was nearing nightfall and the sun was succumbing to the night's sultry caresses. The bright blue of the Heavens were slowly fading away into the grim hours of darkness. From the majestic trees of the Forbidden Forest emerged a small dot, crossing ever so slowly across the plain. Soon a large gargantuan of a person could be seen, creeping cautiously, as if not wanting to be seen. A small, wrapped package lay clutched tightly in his massive hand. He had been traveling all day, and the sight of his humble cabin eased his troubled mind and weary body. He reached the door of his cabin and quickly shut the door. At last. But what if someone saw him? Suddenly, his blood rushed cold. From the depths of his dark room came a large jaw, which gnawed at his pants. He turned his face and found himself staring into the jovial eyes of his pet boarhound. Finally somewhat relieved, he felt that whatever happened from then on wouldn't matter. He now had his greatest source of power that would bring him much more pleasure then any simple wand. The large man, Hagrid, opened the package over the table and carefully emptied its contents. Out fell a most peculiar fabric. It was small, black and shiny. He had traded 3 dragon's eggs and all his life savings for it. He had also traveled far in a foreign country to get this most elusive object. The merchants had said it gives one great comfort. "Now, my precious we can be together forever." Hagrid gently picked up the thong and slipped it on. From then on, a new, more laid-back Hagrid was alive. People all around him became jealous and lusted for his secret. It was preposterous. Hagrid was flirting left and right with all the ladies of the house. Every time he walked by a female body, it blushed. Something definately had to be done.

Then, one day, an absolution came. While sunbathing in nothing but, you know, a thong, Hagrid was suddenly disturbed by a large crash and bang. Out of nowhere a blur of black and white crashed into his face. Hagrid groaned and passed out. When he came to he found himself staring into the face of one like no other. "Well, I see that you are alive so I'll be leaving now," said the voice emotionlessly. Hagrid's eyes had fully adjusted just as the person was walking away. He immediately noticed that it was female. Hagrid saw that this girl was not taken away by his charms like all the other women. In fact, she gave him no attention whatsoever. Hagrid knew that this woman was one of a kind and he immediately lusted after her.

" Wait!" yelled Hagrid, "I must speak to you!" The woman turned around and gave him a look so intense that every hair on his back rose.

"Like, what do you want?" said the girl. Pointing to her ball the girl spoke in cold tone, " Well, duh. Isn't it obvious, I was like playing soccer and you totally got in my way. And because you were too slow to move, you got hit. You like deserved it for being lazy, like totally."

" Oh I see." said Hagrid who was feeling more attracted to her every minute. "Well, umm I think that I need to go to the hospital wing so could you take me there," said Hagrid with a droopy, puppy-doggish look on his face.

"Like no way, I have no time to take your sorry body to the hospital. I've got much more important things to do on my list."

"Huh, well how can I get on the top of that list?" Hagrid mumbled aside while quickly wiping a bit of saliva that had drooled out his mouth.

"Like what did you say."

"Oh nothing, ummm, I just wanted to get your name so I could fill out an accident report to get insurance coverage," Said Hagrid, lying.

"Well, the name's Brittany and like Get out of my face! Don't ever like bother me again or I'll have to like hurt you." Brittany clutched the soccer ball and ran off.

With a glazed look Hagrid floated back down to the ground. "oh Brittany, Brittany, like the sound of sunshine, lilies and sumptuos rock cakes. Oh Brittany believe me, even hurting me is better than being ignored. Oh I'll do anything to win your heart. Anything."