Title: Middle of Yesterday
Author:
Trinity ~Dreams_in_digital~
Rating:
PG13/R for language, yaoi, and drug usage (nothing positive about the drug
usage, of course!! ^^;)
Disclaimer:
most of these characters are not mine. If you haven't heard of their
names before, they're mine.. if you've heard of them, they aren't. the
song, "Middle of Yesterday" is not mine either, it is a song by OLP and it's an
awesome song so go buy it! (Heh... lol, I hope that'll make up for
stealing the lyrics ^_~) No, seriously.. Spiritual Machines is like the BEST cd
ever!! ^_^ even better than the science of things by bush ^^() (Never thought
I'd say THAT!) anyways... yeah.. Watashi no Raine wa kamisama desu ^_^ I have no
idea if that's right or not.. but in any case I was trying to say Raine is my
god ^_^ ok.. enough blabbing now..
A/N:
I am SO hooked on this couple now!! This is (will be) my second story
that has this coupling. This is actually my first fic using this coupling
that I have written by myself!! Yahoo! ^_^ If ya like yaoi, check out
Digitally Obsessed's fics (she's awesome! I luv ya Kate-sensei!) and my other
yaoi ficcie, Hanging by a Moment (odd coupling) !! ^_^ Please Read
and REVIEW!! My read:review ratio is WAY down , it's like 40 to 1 so
PLEASE review!! I love constructive criticism!! Another way to
contact me is by emailing me (duh) at Taichigrl@hotmail.com. Okay.. enough of my incessant
ranting, on with da ficcie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh,
well I woke up in hell today
I
woke up depressed and drained
but
that's okay 'cause I promised
not
to hurt you again and
apparently
I'm to blame but
apparently
I've been framed
by
a memory that won't help
One
when i'ts happening out
of
the mind soul light control
standing
in the middle of yesterday
where
it all went wrong where we made mistakes
I'm
sorry for the things I forgot to say
but
it won't be long until it will be okay
well
I promised you I would change
but
I"m an asshole and I"m ashamed
I'm
upset 'cause I betrayed everything that you gave
will
you ever let me explain?
can
I beg you to let me stay?
don't
quit me 'cause I'll never let this happen... again"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This
was the last time. He was going to quit, right after this one. Cold
Turkey. He had to.. Had to for Yamato. He held the plastic syringe,
dirtied from overusage, with shaking hands.. there.. right there over the large
bluish purple vein in his arm. He gritted his teeth as he felt the dulled
needle permeate the flesh and the thin wall of the vein. As he pushed the
plunger of the syringe slowly down, releasing the cocktail of would-be lethal
drugs into his system, he sighed and his eyes rolled back in his head in
ecstasy. As a quick fix, he had concentrated the mixture.. Anything to
relieve the burning inside the core of his being. He knew he had to
stop. He was trying to quit, had been for the greater part of the last
six months, but it was so hard. Maybe the greater problem was the fact
that he didn't want to quit. This was the best thing that had happened to
him; except for his Yama, of course. All the years of stress had taken
their toll on him; the first thing he had tried had not been drugs,
though. Of course, he had never been the smartest person in the world,
certainly not as smart as Koushirou or Jyou; college had been particuarly hard
on him. After barely getting a bachelor's degree in biochemistry, he
became a medical assistant. The pay was okay, good enough to rent a small
apartment in the northern part of Tokyo, but his true passion had always been
chemistry. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to get a good job to use his
talents in. Then he had become reaquainted with Yama. Yamato had
done very well for himself and was part owner of a very large electronics company;
Yama made about four times a month than he did in a year. They moved in
together, truely happy for the first time since they had parted, and Yamato had
taken over in "bringing home the bread." After all, Yama made more than
enough for two people to live off of anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ishida
Yamato hummed to himself as he walked up the steps leading to the apartment he
shared with his... significant other. He blushed as he thought of his
lover waiting for him; he wondered if he had made him cookies again.
Mmm.. Yama's mouth watered at the thought of food. He hadn't eaten
since lunchtime, and that had been about 7 hours ago. He hated coming
home late; he didn't want to make his beautiful worry. He pulled out his
key card and slipped it into the slot. The light on the door flashed
green and Yamato turned the handle. He stepped into the darkened
apartment quietly, catlike. He heard soft music coming from the bathroom
area. He smiled as he thought of his gorgeous lover soaking in the large,
built-for-two, pink bubble filled jacuzzi, his hair wet and hanging in his
incredibly sexy eyes. The song playing was "Nothing" by Yaida
Hitomi. "Leave it to him to listen to depressed chick music," Yamato
thought as he walked into the master bedroom, changing from his business suit
into a terry cotton robe. He ran a hand through his blonde hair as he
stepped into the bathroom. When he got in there, he saw...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yagami
Taichi sat in the bubble filled jacuzzi he and his Yama-chan shared so many
evenings of the week; feeling lonely as he shaved his legs (only from sheer
boredom, of course!). Yama hadn't been home this late in a while, and he
was starting to become worried about his blonde haired lover. He pictured
Yama's lapis lazuli blue eyes staring so intently into his own molten chocolate
brown on their first date. Taichi had been at first uncomfortable with
all of Yama's staring, but later became flattered with Yamato's
infatuation-turned-love for him. He sighed and changed the channel on the
radio station. He knew that he shouldn't have his boom box in the
bathroom with him, as Yama warned him so frequently, but he was feeling bummed
and the only thing that seemed to cheer him up was his music. He turned
the dial until he found a song he liked, not bothering with numbers.
Aha! There! Yaida Hitomi's "Nothing" was playing. Suddenly he
heard the click of the door closing in the hall and smiled. His Yama-chan
was home! He lay back in the tub, letting the bubbles tickle the bottom
of his strong chin. He heard Yamato's footsteps as they came into the
bedroom; heard him undressing. Yamato stepped through the door and Taichi
beamed at him. "Have you no shame? I happen to be very naked in here!"
Taichi said with mock offense.
"I
know! Why do you think I came in?" Yama said, a smile approaching
his face. A blush crept slowly across his well defined cheekbones as he
thought of Taichi's body under the mountain of bubbles. He dropped his
robe and sunk into the hot water along with his mop-topped lover.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi
lay a hand upon his sleeping adoration's smooth bare chest and snuggled closer
to him. He loved his Yamato; he thought he could never do anything
to hurt him. That is why he had to stop. Now. Starting
tomorrow. It wouldn't be easy; he could feel the burning just thinking
about it. No. He wouldn't do it. Not tonight. Tonight
had been perfect. He was going to quit. Tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12
hours later, Taichi was concentrating on making his Schezuan stir fry perfect
for his Aoi Hitomi (blue eyes). Noodles, Soy Sauce, pea pods, carrots,
bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, tofu, ginger root, a bit of garlic, onion,
various bell peppers (Yama's favorite) and some cracked pepper. He
checked his watch; he should be here any minute. He smiled.
Yama-chan is coming home early tonight; he promised! His Yama
hadn't broken a promise yet, and Taichi didn't expect him to. Unlike what
most people had thought watching the two grow up, Yamato had grown into a very
decent young man; he was well liked and very educated in many
areas. On the other hand, Taichi was another story; He wasn't bad,
and he had a good soul, just no ambition. Taichi sat down and waited for
his blue eyed sweet to come through the door and whisk him into Yama-land,
where everything was good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3
hours later, Taichi had hit his private stash again. Just a little bit,
he told himself, just a little bit would be okay. Weaning himself off
seemed like a much better idea than going cold turkey. He sighed as the
burning turned into a cool, blissful feeling. He could almost feel the
seratonin levels in his brain rising. He lay down on the tatami covered
floor, so lost he forgot to take off his slippers. He didn't even hear
the sound of his beloved (but now forgotten) Yama-chan come through the door
only to smell the burning stir fry that Taichi had forgotten to take off of the
burner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When
Yamato stepped through the door and smelled the burning stir fry, panic seeped
into his veins. Where was his 'Chi-chan? Was something wrong? Had
something happened to his beloved? He ran through the house, searching
for his beautiful eyed lover, so frantic he didn't bother taking off his
shoes. Suddenly, there he was, lying on the tatami in the bedroom they
shared the way only husband and wife are supposed to. "'Chi-chan! Daijoubou? (Are you allright?) He sunk to his knees and hovered
over Taichi, who was passed out. "Taichi!! Taichi wake up! Oh, please wake up!" Yamato cried. He gasped as
Taichi's beautiful burnt sepia eyes opened and gazed into his.
Unfortunately, Yamato realized, they weren't truely Tai's gaze. He wasn't
gazing at Yamato, but somewhere else...somewhere in the center of Yamato's
forehead. Yamato gulped down his fear, worried that his 'Chi-chan was
sick. Then, he spotted something lying beside Taichi's hand, something
small and cylindrical. He picked it up and examined it closely. It
was a syringe, and an empty one at that. He then examined Taichi's
arms. There was a large discoloured area on his left forearm, and there
were a dozen trackmarks in various places around the large bruise rapidly
forming near the underside of his elbow. Yamato dropped Tai's arm,
suddenly disgusted. He felt the bile itch at the back of his
throat. His usually serene eyes filled with contempt and hatred.
How could he have done this to himself? To him? To the person that
loved him most in the world? Why hadn't he told him? Hadn't gotten
help? He ran into the bathroom and threw up, not being able to take the
sudden stress. He cleaned out his mouth and suddenly realising the stir
fry was still on fire, ran into the kitchen. After he had turned cold
water on the blackened stir fry and dumped the ruined pan in the sink, he
pondered. What was he going to do with Taichi? He knew he should
feel sorry for him... should help him get help. No, he didn't want
to. He had always felt a strong hatred for drugs, and even moreso for
liars. But this was his 'Chi-chan, his lover, his love, his life.
He heard a stirring in the bedroom. Taichi was getting up. He
looked towards the entrance to their bedroom as Taichi came through it, smiling
goofily. He came up to Yamato and threw his arms around him, obviously
not in his right mind. "Yama-chan! You're home. You're late
you know, you shouldn't keep me waiting like this! I'm lost without you,
mi vida (my life), you know that. Did you like your stir fry? I
worked on it all day to make it perfect!" He reached up to Yamato for a
kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His
head was swimming. Where was he? Oh yes, the bedroom.. What had he
done? He got up slowly on shaky legs and walked through the doorframe
only to find Yamato staring at him from the kitchen. He ran up to his
love and threw his arms around him. He reached up to him for a kiss; he
had always had to struggle because Yamato was much taller than him.
Yamato pushed him away with a force Taichi had never felt from him
before. He looked up into his love's purest of pure blue eyes only to
find hatred and contempt staring back at him. He backed away; a
scared child not knowing what he has done wrong. "I'm leaving. You
obviously have a problem that you think you can handle by yourself. You
must not have wanted me to be included in it, since you didn't tell me about
it. I... I..I can't stay here any more. Goodbye Taichi." With
that, and a last look that showed the beginning of tears, he was gone.
Out the door still ringing from the force of the slam. Taichi could feel
his stomach churning, his heart twisted in knots. Confusion racked his
stoned mind. Tears brimmed in his eyes and began to pour down his
cheeks. What had just happened? Yama-chan.. was.. gone.
Taichi sank to the floor, sobbing as realization poured into his tired
head. He knew what he now had to do. The only thing left to do. He
ran into his bedroom and locked the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yamato
walked down the street, no longer ashamed to cry. Taichi had taught him
that. Ignore the people's stares, just worry about what was going through
your mind at that moment in time. The only thing going through Yamato's
mind was Taichi, though. Taichi.. Why? He was still so
confused as to what had happened. He couldn't believe... Should he have
stayed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi
dragged all of the candles he owned out of the closet. He and Yamato had
used them on special occasions, for a romantic setting that was just
right. Tears clouded his eyes; he couldn't see straight. He set
them in a circle around the tatami mat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yamato
knew that Taichi needed help. He should stay to help him pull through
this. But, what if he didn't want help? What if he wanted to stay
in this deranged state? And most importantly, how was he going to support this
growing beast named addiction? He had no job. Should he have
stayed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi
began lighting the candles, one by one, savoring the smell of each.
Coffee- that was Matt's favorite, Baked Apples- Taichi's.
Vanilla- Taichi's little sister, Hikari had gotten him that one as part
of a Christmas basket this past December. The mixture of the aroma began
to fill the apartment. After lighting all of the candles, Taichi pulled
out his stash once more. He undid all of the little plastic bags, labeled
neatly with code names. He got out his mixing bowl as well. A
little of this, a lot of that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yamato
stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, letting the people go around him.
How could he have just walked out on his Taichi like that? He was in love
with him! If he truly cared about Taichi, he would help him, no matter
what. Love was unconditional, right? He turned around, struggling
to go in the opposite direction of the steady flow of people on the
sidewalk. "Taichi," he thought, "I"m coming."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi
filled his syringe with the super-concentrated cocktail of drugs. Did he
need a note? Nah... He didn't have his Yama-chan anymore, did he?
It didn't matter. Not anymore. He looked down at his "usual"
arm. A large, yellow bruise was covering almost his entire arm!
Ohwell, the other side, then. He switched hands, and found the large
bluish purple vein in his right arm, identical to the one in his left. He
poised the needle right above it and sunk it into his flesh. He smiled at
the sharp twinge of pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yamato
was running now. He had reached their apartment building once again. He
ran through the doors and up the stairs, jumping three at a time. "Don't
worry, Taichi. I'm coming back! Please. I want to help you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi
pressed his thumb on the base of the plunger. He slowly applied
pressure. He could feel the drug entering his blood stream as he watched
the level of the liquid decrease in the syringe. He took in his last
looks of the world, his last smells. Then he heard the door open.
Yama-chan? Back?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Taichi,
I'm so sorry! I was so wrong! Please forgive me! I want to help you
get through this! We'll go through it together, I promise I won't yell at
you again!" Yamato yelled as he ran through the door and into the
bedroom. He found Taichi there, sitting in a circle of lit candles,
shooting up again. A moment of disgust floated through his brain again.
He was doing it again? So soon after their fight? Then he realized what
his precious, beautiful, sexy 'Chi-chan was doing. "No!" he cried out, jumping
into the circle of candles and dropping to his knees beside his love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It
was too late, Taichi knew that already. What had been done was done, or
it would be soon. His thumb slipped and he pushed the rest of the drug
into his body. He yanked the syringe out and flung it from himself as if
it were a very unpleasant thing. He gazed into Yamato's eyes and he felt
the drug flowing through his body. It was everywhere now, from his
fingertips to his toes and back. It would only be a few moments
now. He lay back on the tatami, never breaking his gaze from Yamato.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yamato
cried as he realized what Taichi had done to himself. All he could do now
was gaze into his lover's molten chocolate eyes, and wait. That's all they
both could do.. just wait. It was sick, waiting for someone to... to..
die. Yamato had pondered this thought, but he didn't think he would have
to face it so soon. He gripped Taichi's hand. "I love you,
Taichi. I always have. You will always be my first, my lover, my
love, my life." A tear fell off of his cheek and onto Taichi's
shirt. Taichi reached up and pulled him into a final, passion filled
kiss. He then pulled away and said two words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm
sorry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GYA!
That's it!! ^_^ Didja like?? Isn't 'Chi-chan the most ADORABLE name??
*sniff* I'm even crying, man!! *sigh* Ohwell... ouch.. my butt
hurts.. Damn wooden chair w/ no cushion.. Well, I've only been sitting
here for 3 hours writing this damn thing! Jeez.. I kinda got
hooked... ^^() *sigh*.. I WANT REVIEWS!! NOW!
~Trinity~
dreams_in_digital
Taichigrl@hotmail.com
