This is a very strange story that I wrote a long time ago and I finally decided to put it on here. It stinks, so please feel free to say that in many different forms in your reviews. Thank You! Well, I'll shut my mouth and let you read it.
Disclaimer: You've read enough disclaimers to know the basic content. Fill in your own._________ Also, I don't own the cream crackers. They belong to Robby Doyle.
The Matchmaker: chapter one-The Matching
By The Eternal Optimist
Usagi: I have terrible, terrible news!!!
Rei: *sarcastically* What, did the Hershey's company go out of business?
Ami: What is the problem?
Usagi: Mom is taking me to a matchmaker, and you have to go to 'cause our @%&! Mothers talked it over in the phone!! * breaks down, starts sobbing hysterically *
Minako: * scream *
Makoto: They can't do this to us!!
Rei: You've got to be kidding.
Chibi-Usa: She's not.
Makoto: How do you know?
Chibi-Usa: I have to go too.
Readers: That is revolting Chibi-Usa is too young to be married!
Author: Well in India people can get married at 9 months old, now shut up and let me get back to the story.
* at Setsuna's house *
Michiru: They can't control our lives! They can't force us to go!!
Setsuna: It's no use, they made the appointment. * sighs *
Haruka: What if I'm already matched??!!
Setsuna: (disgustedly) They're American, all they've seen is the dubs of us.
Michiru: You mean they think we're cousins?!
Setsuna: Yup.
Hotaru: ????
Setsuna: oh, Hotaru, right. You see, Bunny's #$!@ mom is making us go to a matchmaker, and we're adults!!
Haruka: !
Michiru: %&?@
Setsuna: %#&!
Hotaru: * faints *
Angel: What Vile Language!!!
The Eternal Optimist: Who invited YOU??? (menacing glare)
Angel: Um..oops, I've, uh, got to go to my appointment w/ God right now. Yeah, I do. Um, bye-bye!
EXIT ANGEL
Setsuna: (looks at Hotaru) Oh #%@#.
*At the matchmaker's*
Usagi: Who's first?
Ami: I think we all go in at the same time.
Minako: OK(all go into matchmaker's room)
Matchmaker: Heeelloooo, my dahlings. Who shall be first?
Minako: Me! Memememememe!!!!
Rei: Figures
Matchmaker: Matchmaker: All right. After much consideration and some help from your muzzer, this is to be your new fiancée.
*enter old bald unsexy millionaire)
Old Bald Millionaire(OBM): Greetings my love !
Minako: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(wails for 5 hours w/ no interruption then passes out)
Ami: I believe her continuous emitting of unnaturally high-pitched sound waves has permanently damaged my inner eardrum.
Rei: Hmmm? I can't hear you...
Makoto: Who goes next...
All: Not me!!
Rei: Let's draw straws...
ENTER OUTER SCOUTS AND CHIBI-USA
Usagi: Hi! (to other inner scouts) Let's make them go next.
Makoto: Hotaru! What are you doing here?
Hotaru: Bunny's mom said I had to come too *sniff*
Chibi-Usa: This is crazy, making us kids get married!!!
Usagi: And unfair, if Chibi-Usa gets Mamoru I'll scream.
Rei: Uh-huh(under her breath) Not like you don't do the same thing when your dessert is gone.
Matchmaker: Ahem.
Setsuna: Ummmm, uhhh.... (Looks at Ami)
Ami: All right, I'll accept the challenge to let this asinine woman attempt to pair me with another Homo sapiens of the male gender.
Matchmaker: Here is your soon-to-be husband, and may your life together be happy and wonderful!!!!!!
* Mamoru stumbles in, looking confused *
Usagi: There must have been a mistake...
Rei: Oh, darn. I wanted Mamoru.
Ami: x=y+62 over 8/5 + the square root of Q. Isn't that fascinating? Blah blah blah blah...
Mamoru: Usagi, what do I do?
Usagi: Oh, Mamoru...(they run into each others arms and kiss passionately like they always do)
Chibi-Usa: I think I'm going to throw up
Haruka: *sweatdrop*
Michiru: how sweet!
Matchmaker: *gasps* how dare you!! (grabs Usagi) Here's your husband!
* And none other but Rei's Grandpa walks in and promptly kisses Usagi on the lips*
Rei: This is humiliating...
Chibi-Usa: Poor Bunny...
Makoto: What is he doing?!
Rei: You know my grandpa well enough to figure that out.
Usagi: It's a dream...it's a dream...
Rei: No it's not...no it's not...
Usagi: Mamoru-
Matchmaker: You shall never speak to Mamoru again!
Usagi: You can't stop me!!
Matchmaker: NO but my hypnotist can.
Readers: Where did the hypnotist come from?
Author: The matchmaker makes friends with all sorts of oddities.
Enter Hypnotist
Hypnotist: Look deeply into my eyes
Usagi: Ok.
Hypnotist: You are getting sleepy...very sleepy,,
Rei: Shouldn't she know his routine by now?
* Usagi falls asleep *
Rei: Guess not.
Hypnotist: You will do what I say. When you awaken from your slumber, Rei's grandpa will be the love of your life.
Usagi: Rei's-grandpa-is-the-love-of-my-life.
Hypnotist: You will wake when I say " Rutabagas" Rutabagas!
Usagi: Huh? Where am I? Where's my beloved???
Rei's grandpa(RG): I am right here, babe!!!(Rush to each other)
Mamoru: *shocked* Usagi! What is the meaning of this?!
Haruka: Ok, I'm getting sick of all this %$#@&*% @#!&%. Give me my match, you scumbag!!
Matchmaker: Here he is and I hope he works out, this one put up quite a struggle!!
* Enter our favorite general Kunzite, being held by 2 men whose faces are black and blue *
Kunzite: This author made sure I wasn't evil anymore, but I can still get mad.
Haruka: I know what you mean by getting mad
Kunzite: Oh, thank God you're not in love w/ me. I mean, no offense to you, but I'm with-
* Both look over to see Zoisite and Michiru shouting at the Matchmaker, and both seem to be saying, 'I'm already matched, you %$#@#!!!' *
Haruka: Him, by any chance? I'm actually partnered with your partners "match"...this is crazy.
Soon the pairs are....
Ami&Mamoru
Usagi&Rei's grandpa
Chibi-Usa&NOBODY!!!! She had such a big temper tantrum her fiancée left...
Haruka&Kunzite
Michiru&Zoisite
Minako&the old bald millionaire
Setsuna&Professor Tomoe
Hotaru&Helios
Rei&Melvin
Makoto&Ash(from Pokemon)
Ami: (staring at Mamoru) Too bad you're meant for Usagi...
Mamoru, Chibi-Usa: WHAAAAAT???!!!
Professor Tomoe: I don't have time for all this marriage nonsense; I've got to work on my Very Important Science Experiments!!!! Oh, $%#@.
Chibi-Usa: Cool! $%#@!
Usagi: My love, come to my arms!
RG: YOU GOTIT!
This is the end of part 1. Wow!!! Isn't that fascinating! Sorry...Anyway, please review, and as long as you don't just put 'lol' which I don't consider feedback, you can type whatever you like. Flames wanted, they're so interesting to me!!! ^_^
Au Revoir, mon petite chou!
(goodbye, my little cabbages!)
-The Eternal Optimist
P.S A NOTE FROM THE CREAM CRACKERS: When you put your feet in water, they get wet. Isn't that interesting?
Disclaimer: You've read enough disclaimers to know the basic content. Fill in your own._________ Also, I don't own the cream crackers. They belong to Robby Doyle.
The Matchmaker: chapter one-The Matching
By The Eternal Optimist
Usagi: I have terrible, terrible news!!!
Rei: *sarcastically* What, did the Hershey's company go out of business?
Ami: What is the problem?
Usagi: Mom is taking me to a matchmaker, and you have to go to 'cause our @%&! Mothers talked it over in the phone!! * breaks down, starts sobbing hysterically *
Minako: * scream *
Makoto: They can't do this to us!!
Rei: You've got to be kidding.
Chibi-Usa: She's not.
Makoto: How do you know?
Chibi-Usa: I have to go too.
Readers: That is revolting Chibi-Usa is too young to be married!
Author: Well in India people can get married at 9 months old, now shut up and let me get back to the story.
* at Setsuna's house *
Michiru: They can't control our lives! They can't force us to go!!
Setsuna: It's no use, they made the appointment. * sighs *
Haruka: What if I'm already matched??!!
Setsuna: (disgustedly) They're American, all they've seen is the dubs of us.
Michiru: You mean they think we're cousins?!
Setsuna: Yup.
Hotaru: ????
Setsuna: oh, Hotaru, right. You see, Bunny's #$!@ mom is making us go to a matchmaker, and we're adults!!
Haruka: !
Michiru: %&?@
Setsuna: %#&!
Hotaru: * faints *
Angel: What Vile Language!!!
The Eternal Optimist: Who invited YOU??? (menacing glare)
Angel: Um..oops, I've, uh, got to go to my appointment w/ God right now. Yeah, I do. Um, bye-bye!
EXIT ANGEL
Setsuna: (looks at Hotaru) Oh #%@#.
*At the matchmaker's*
Usagi: Who's first?
Ami: I think we all go in at the same time.
Minako: OK(all go into matchmaker's room)
Matchmaker: Heeelloooo, my dahlings. Who shall be first?
Minako: Me! Memememememe!!!!
Rei: Figures
Matchmaker: Matchmaker: All right. After much consideration and some help from your muzzer, this is to be your new fiancée.
*enter old bald unsexy millionaire)
Old Bald Millionaire(OBM): Greetings my love !
Minako: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
(wails for 5 hours w/ no interruption then passes out)
Ami: I believe her continuous emitting of unnaturally high-pitched sound waves has permanently damaged my inner eardrum.
Rei: Hmmm? I can't hear you...
Makoto: Who goes next...
All: Not me!!
Rei: Let's draw straws...
ENTER OUTER SCOUTS AND CHIBI-USA
Usagi: Hi! (to other inner scouts) Let's make them go next.
Makoto: Hotaru! What are you doing here?
Hotaru: Bunny's mom said I had to come too *sniff*
Chibi-Usa: This is crazy, making us kids get married!!!
Usagi: And unfair, if Chibi-Usa gets Mamoru I'll scream.
Rei: Uh-huh(under her breath) Not like you don't do the same thing when your dessert is gone.
Matchmaker: Ahem.
Setsuna: Ummmm, uhhh.... (Looks at Ami)
Ami: All right, I'll accept the challenge to let this asinine woman attempt to pair me with another Homo sapiens of the male gender.
Matchmaker: Here is your soon-to-be husband, and may your life together be happy and wonderful!!!!!!
* Mamoru stumbles in, looking confused *
Usagi: There must have been a mistake...
Rei: Oh, darn. I wanted Mamoru.
Ami: x=y+62 over 8/5 + the square root of Q. Isn't that fascinating? Blah blah blah blah...
Mamoru: Usagi, what do I do?
Usagi: Oh, Mamoru...(they run into each others arms and kiss passionately like they always do)
Chibi-Usa: I think I'm going to throw up
Haruka: *sweatdrop*
Michiru: how sweet!
Matchmaker: *gasps* how dare you!! (grabs Usagi) Here's your husband!
* And none other but Rei's Grandpa walks in and promptly kisses Usagi on the lips*
Rei: This is humiliating...
Chibi-Usa: Poor Bunny...
Makoto: What is he doing?!
Rei: You know my grandpa well enough to figure that out.
Usagi: It's a dream...it's a dream...
Rei: No it's not...no it's not...
Usagi: Mamoru-
Matchmaker: You shall never speak to Mamoru again!
Usagi: You can't stop me!!
Matchmaker: NO but my hypnotist can.
Readers: Where did the hypnotist come from?
Author: The matchmaker makes friends with all sorts of oddities.
Enter Hypnotist
Hypnotist: Look deeply into my eyes
Usagi: Ok.
Hypnotist: You are getting sleepy...very sleepy,,
Rei: Shouldn't she know his routine by now?
* Usagi falls asleep *
Rei: Guess not.
Hypnotist: You will do what I say. When you awaken from your slumber, Rei's grandpa will be the love of your life.
Usagi: Rei's-grandpa-is-the-love-of-my-life.
Hypnotist: You will wake when I say " Rutabagas" Rutabagas!
Usagi: Huh? Where am I? Where's my beloved???
Rei's grandpa(RG): I am right here, babe!!!(Rush to each other)
Mamoru: *shocked* Usagi! What is the meaning of this?!
Haruka: Ok, I'm getting sick of all this %$#@&*% @#!&%. Give me my match, you scumbag!!
Matchmaker: Here he is and I hope he works out, this one put up quite a struggle!!
* Enter our favorite general Kunzite, being held by 2 men whose faces are black and blue *
Kunzite: This author made sure I wasn't evil anymore, but I can still get mad.
Haruka: I know what you mean by getting mad
Kunzite: Oh, thank God you're not in love w/ me. I mean, no offense to you, but I'm with-
* Both look over to see Zoisite and Michiru shouting at the Matchmaker, and both seem to be saying, 'I'm already matched, you %$#@#!!!' *
Haruka: Him, by any chance? I'm actually partnered with your partners "match"...this is crazy.
Soon the pairs are....
Ami&Mamoru
Usagi&Rei's grandpa
Chibi-Usa&NOBODY!!!! She had such a big temper tantrum her fiancée left...
Haruka&Kunzite
Michiru&Zoisite
Minako&the old bald millionaire
Setsuna&Professor Tomoe
Hotaru&Helios
Rei&Melvin
Makoto&Ash(from Pokemon)
Ami: (staring at Mamoru) Too bad you're meant for Usagi...
Mamoru, Chibi-Usa: WHAAAAAT???!!!
Professor Tomoe: I don't have time for all this marriage nonsense; I've got to work on my Very Important Science Experiments!!!! Oh, $%#@.
Chibi-Usa: Cool! $%#@!
Usagi: My love, come to my arms!
RG: YOU GOTIT!
This is the end of part 1. Wow!!! Isn't that fascinating! Sorry...Anyway, please review, and as long as you don't just put 'lol' which I don't consider feedback, you can type whatever you like. Flames wanted, they're so interesting to me!!! ^_^
Au Revoir, mon petite chou!
(goodbye, my little cabbages!)
-The Eternal Optimist
P.S A NOTE FROM THE CREAM CRACKERS: When you put your feet in water, they get wet. Isn't that interesting?