The Eternal Optimist makes her entrance once more...the second chapter is out. Again, this story is dumb but amusing to write, so flames are welcome. However, if you are a Minako fan, then you might not like this chapter. But Minako is just a bimbo, and I can't stand to write about her anymore, she makes me sick.
Disclaimer: SM is NOT MINE. I mean, this wouldn't be called fanfiction.net unless fans wrote the stories. Duh. The cream crackers belong to Robby Doyle and I am sorry if they give you nightmares.
The Matchmaker
By The Eternal Optimist
Makoto: Usagi, are you feeling all right?
Usagi: Of course. I'm just despairing for my love is away today.
Rei: (Whispers to Ami) He's out buying Usagi underwear.
Chibi-Usa: Where's Hotaru?
Makoto: That ******* Eternal Optimist forgot who Hotaru was matched to so Hotaru isn't in this chapter.
The Eternal Optimist: Watch it...I could kill you in this if I so chose...
Makoto: Sorry.
Chibi-Usa: Ah, I wish I were back in the good old days, when anyone of any age could have a grade-A temper tantrum, and then we wouldn't be in this mess.
Ami: * Enthusiastically * Guess what?
All, expectant of a solution: What?
Ami: 86%=y-qx+5 over the square root of 12.
All: *sweatdrop*
Makoto: Hey, Ash here just taught me a cool song!
Ami: (interested) What?
Rei: Oh NO!
Makoto: POKEMON!! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
Ash: *holding a fake microphone up to his mouth, acting like a rock star about to sing something cool, but...*
WHAT KIND OF POKEMON ARE YOU, WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Rei: I knew it...oh #$%@.
(Meanwhile, at Minako's house, our favorite (ha!) bimbo scout is feeling depressed! What a terrible shame. Let's see what's going on...;-)
Minako: This is Devastating...(oh, wait, Mina-san wouldn't have that expansive a vocabulary...how about...)
This is really, really bad...I just thought I had a life, and then my world turned upside down...
(Notice that she doesn't think of just getting the heck out of Tokyo and eloping with a guy she likes...what an idiot.)
I've been stupid, maybe I deserve this...
(She's recognizing her stupidity, maybe she'll be cured...)
I should have married that guy I had sex with just to assure I had a hottie fiancée...
(OK, she's hopeless)
The video game is better than me...
(Yup, the video game's interesting. Well, now back to the Inner Scouts.)
Rei: Usagi, where are you off to tonight?
Usagi: *giggles* My love and I are going out!
Makoto: Oh my God...
Rei: *stomps up to Usagi* Snap out of it!
Usagi: What do you mean? I've got to go, I'm late.
Makoto: *darkly* We better follow her...
(We go now w/ the Inner Scouts to an old abandoned alley...)
Ami: This does not appear to be the ideal location for a young male and female to engage in romantic conversation. It is statistically shown that both genders find that a well-furnished place of eating with a view of the earth's daily cycle is most preferable, although while engaging in sexual activity they blah blah blah blah blah...
Chibi-Usa: Whatever you do, don't look over there, because Usagi and her 'love' are-
Makoto: That is DISGUSTING!!
Rei: Oh. My. God. That. Is. Not. Pretty.
Chibi-Usa: %$#@&%$! If %$#@ Usagi and Mamoru don't get together, then I won't exist! &%$#$^%#&.....
(And we'll leave Chibi-Usa shouting a long line of profanity and return to Minako.)
Minako: I'm always the lesser one w/ weaker attacks w/ corny names...
(She's got it right. I mean, come on. How could something called 'Venus Love And Beauty Shock' hurt anyone! )
Everyone hates me...even this fanfiction.net author does...
(YES!! She's lowering her self-esteem. This just might work...)
I'm useless and I can't marry that man...I'll do what must be done, and may the world be better for it!!!
(And now we get back to the gang.)
Usagi: I feel refreshed!
Makoto: She's gotta be either sick, mad, crazy, insane, or under hypnotic control.
Rei: I think it's the latter choice. We saw what happened at the matchmakers...
Ami: Where is Mina-san? I have not seen her for a long period of time.
Makoto: Let's stop by her house.
*At Minako's house*
Makoto: Hello-o? Knock knock!
Rei: Oh let's just go in.
(all see poor Minako lying dead on the floor...yes, my plan worked!)
Ami: Oh my god...
Makoto: (sobs hysterically)
Rei, Usagi, Chibi-Usa, The Eternal Optimist: Hurrah!
Ami: Did she commit suicide?
Chibi-Usa: (gleefully) Probably.
(AN: I am not in any way promoting suicide but having an anime character commit suicide non-graphically does not seem to me to be encouraging suicide in any way. If you are going to commit suicide go and get help. You won't regret it. Shakespeare(my god!!) and his friends believed in the wheel of fortune. If you're at the bottom of the wheel right now, it will spin!!!! Trust me. Optimism is the best policy^_^)
Makoto: She was a bimbo anyway...
Usagi: That's the spirit!
(They all link arms and go off singing 'We're Off To See The Wizard' and they happen upon Zoisite, Kunzite, Haruka, and Michiru)
Kunzite; We've got a plan...
Ok. That was part 2. Please review!
P.S. A Note From The Cream Crackers: When you turn off a lamp, it gets dark. Isn't that interesting?
-The Eternal Optimist
Disclaimer: SM is NOT MINE. I mean, this wouldn't be called fanfiction.net unless fans wrote the stories. Duh. The cream crackers belong to Robby Doyle and I am sorry if they give you nightmares.
The Matchmaker
By The Eternal Optimist
Makoto: Usagi, are you feeling all right?
Usagi: Of course. I'm just despairing for my love is away today.
Rei: (Whispers to Ami) He's out buying Usagi underwear.
Chibi-Usa: Where's Hotaru?
Makoto: That ******* Eternal Optimist forgot who Hotaru was matched to so Hotaru isn't in this chapter.
The Eternal Optimist: Watch it...I could kill you in this if I so chose...
Makoto: Sorry.
Chibi-Usa: Ah, I wish I were back in the good old days, when anyone of any age could have a grade-A temper tantrum, and then we wouldn't be in this mess.
Ami: * Enthusiastically * Guess what?
All, expectant of a solution: What?
Ami: 86%=y-qx+5 over the square root of 12.
All: *sweatdrop*
Makoto: Hey, Ash here just taught me a cool song!
Ami: (interested) What?
Rei: Oh NO!
Makoto: POKEMON!! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
Ash: *holding a fake microphone up to his mouth, acting like a rock star about to sing something cool, but...*
WHAT KIND OF POKEMON ARE YOU, WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Rei: I knew it...oh #$%@.
(Meanwhile, at Minako's house, our favorite (ha!) bimbo scout is feeling depressed! What a terrible shame. Let's see what's going on...;-)
Minako: This is Devastating...(oh, wait, Mina-san wouldn't have that expansive a vocabulary...how about...)
This is really, really bad...I just thought I had a life, and then my world turned upside down...
(Notice that she doesn't think of just getting the heck out of Tokyo and eloping with a guy she likes...what an idiot.)
I've been stupid, maybe I deserve this...
(She's recognizing her stupidity, maybe she'll be cured...)
I should have married that guy I had sex with just to assure I had a hottie fiancée...
(OK, she's hopeless)
The video game is better than me...
(Yup, the video game's interesting. Well, now back to the Inner Scouts.)
Rei: Usagi, where are you off to tonight?
Usagi: *giggles* My love and I are going out!
Makoto: Oh my God...
Rei: *stomps up to Usagi* Snap out of it!
Usagi: What do you mean? I've got to go, I'm late.
Makoto: *darkly* We better follow her...
(We go now w/ the Inner Scouts to an old abandoned alley...)
Ami: This does not appear to be the ideal location for a young male and female to engage in romantic conversation. It is statistically shown that both genders find that a well-furnished place of eating with a view of the earth's daily cycle is most preferable, although while engaging in sexual activity they blah blah blah blah blah...
Chibi-Usa: Whatever you do, don't look over there, because Usagi and her 'love' are-
Makoto: That is DISGUSTING!!
Rei: Oh. My. God. That. Is. Not. Pretty.
Chibi-Usa: %$#@&%$! If %$#@ Usagi and Mamoru don't get together, then I won't exist! &%$#$^%#&.....
(And we'll leave Chibi-Usa shouting a long line of profanity and return to Minako.)
Minako: I'm always the lesser one w/ weaker attacks w/ corny names...
(She's got it right. I mean, come on. How could something called 'Venus Love And Beauty Shock' hurt anyone! )
Everyone hates me...even this fanfiction.net author does...
(YES!! She's lowering her self-esteem. This just might work...)
I'm useless and I can't marry that man...I'll do what must be done, and may the world be better for it!!!
(And now we get back to the gang.)
Usagi: I feel refreshed!
Makoto: She's gotta be either sick, mad, crazy, insane, or under hypnotic control.
Rei: I think it's the latter choice. We saw what happened at the matchmakers...
Ami: Where is Mina-san? I have not seen her for a long period of time.
Makoto: Let's stop by her house.
*At Minako's house*
Makoto: Hello-o? Knock knock!
Rei: Oh let's just go in.
(all see poor Minako lying dead on the floor...yes, my plan worked!)
Ami: Oh my god...
Makoto: (sobs hysterically)
Rei, Usagi, Chibi-Usa, The Eternal Optimist: Hurrah!
Ami: Did she commit suicide?
Chibi-Usa: (gleefully) Probably.
(AN: I am not in any way promoting suicide but having an anime character commit suicide non-graphically does not seem to me to be encouraging suicide in any way. If you are going to commit suicide go and get help. You won't regret it. Shakespeare(my god!!) and his friends believed in the wheel of fortune. If you're at the bottom of the wheel right now, it will spin!!!! Trust me. Optimism is the best policy^_^)
Makoto: She was a bimbo anyway...
Usagi: That's the spirit!
(They all link arms and go off singing 'We're Off To See The Wizard' and they happen upon Zoisite, Kunzite, Haruka, and Michiru)
Kunzite; We've got a plan...
Ok. That was part 2. Please review!
P.S. A Note From The Cream Crackers: When you turn off a lamp, it gets dark. Isn't that interesting?
-The Eternal Optimist