Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, do not sue me. This is merely for entertainment, nothing else.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Mild language, suicidal action
Note: Sakura POV. Clow Cards don't exist. Surroundings same as 'Why Must You Do This To Me?'. Li Syaoran only came as a transfer student, but then left for Hong Kong. Only difference.
Because Of You
Two-Saved
by Sakura Maxwell
Ah ha.. So I finally can do it. I can finally put an end to my miserable life once and for all. I have the strength to. See? See the knife in my hand? The wonderful sharp, gleaming blade? Yes, of course. Today, I die.
I press the cool blade against my pale skin. This is it, I'll finally leave this God forsaken world. I narrow my eyes. I know it'll be painful, but it'll soon end.
I press harder and I see blood spurt out and drip to the carpet. I wince. It was a little slice. I need it bigger.
I press even harder and then I see the crimson blood come out like waves and fall around my wrist and onto the carpet. I stiffle a cry. I. Am. Strong. I can do this.
Even so, a cry escapes my lips. Bitch! I curse myself mentally. Damnit, I better be dead before anyone comes up.
And yet I hear running footsteps and then a bang on my door.
"Sakura? Sakura! SAKURA!!" Oniisan cries out from the other side as my eyelids flutter. So, I'm losing consciousness...losing everything. Wait, what is there to lose? Nothing.. I thought so.
I hear banging. Heh, good thing I.. Good thing I locked it.. Damn, so fast already. Man, no wonder they say most people slit wrists. Blood does rush out fast..
Then the door gives way. Damnit! Ahh.. Yes, and the last thing I see is the cursed image of my brother scooping me up in his arms and calling Otousan downstairs for..the..ambulance..
-
"Is she gonna be okay?" Touya demanded as the doctor entered the waiting room. "Is she?!"
The doctor looked up at him and sighed. "You know, it's a good thing you got her when you did. Otherwise.. She probably would've died."
Every face in the room lit up. "You mean, she's not dead?" Tomoyo asked with joy.
The doctor nodded.
"That's a relief," Yukito said, letting out his breath. Touya nodded and sat back down next to him, pulling Yukito in a hug of happiness.
"Ack-Not so hard, ah?" Yukito managed to say.
Tomoyo smiled. "So, when can we see her?"
The doctor frowned and said, "Well, one can go in there now but.. I rather not, not at this moment."
Fujitaka adjusted his glasses and asked, "Is there a certain reason?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes, well.. Does anyone have any clue as to why Ms.Kinomoto tried to kill herself?"
No one answered.
"I thought so," he said. "Well, I'm afraid she must have not felt..welcome or something.. So, not now. Not until she regains consciousness, alright?"
Everyone nodded grimly.
-
I open my eyes slowly and wince at the bright light blinding me.
Hoho.. So did I die? This the light at the end of the so called tunnel? Of course not. That would've been far too easy.
I push myself up and instantly wince when pressure is put on my wrist. I stare at it, then look around.
Then I narrow my eyes. It's to be expected that I should land in a hospital like this. With weird tubes connected to me, to keep me alive! Hn. Those people never understand.
I raised my right arm and painfully touch the tubes. "If I pull these out, then I leave this world," I whisper.
I tug at it gently. Then smirk. Oh yea, this'll be easy, I'll die, no problem.
I grasp the tube within my fingers and tug at it harder. I bite my lip. Damn, it hurts.
Caught up in my thoughts, I didn't hear the door open.
"SAKURA?!"
I jerk my head at the noise and narrow my eyes. "Touya."
Hehe.. I don't call him Onnisan anymore.. He has no right to be called older brother. Nor does Fujitaka.
And he rushes in to.
The two idiots crowd by me and pull my hand away from the tube.
"What are you doing, Sakura?!" demands Touya, staring at me with worry in his eyes. No, fake worry, I'm sure.
"Why, what I tried to do earlier," I reply calmly. "I would've succeeded if some certain people hadn't found me. I have to blame them then, ne?"
Fujitaka blinks and Touya flinches back, obviously hurt. Hurt? I really don't give a damn. That isn't half of what I've been through.
"Sakura, we just want to help you-"
I cut Fujitaka off by saying, "Help me? Help me?! How do you expect to help me?! You CAN'T help me! I'm a fucking lost cause!!!"
Fujitaka steps back. "Sakura.."
"DON'T SAKURA ME!" I shriek. "YOU CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! You can't!"
Touya looks up at me. "We understand-"
I glare hatred at him. "Understand?! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?! Have you wanted to die everyday?! Wanting to have courage to kill yourself, but never having it?! Then finally, I DO get this courage and for what?!
"YOU ASSHOLES GO AND SAVE ME! SAVE ME WHEN I WANTED TO DIE!! WHAT REASON DID YOU HAVE FOR SAVING ME WHEN I DIDN'T WANNA BE SAVED!"
Now tears are blurring my vision, but I don't care. The tears are of sorrow. Sorrow.. That I couldn't die. They just want to make me suffer. Bastards.
Both of them stare at me in absolute shock.
"Sakura.." Touya whispers.
Fujitaka adjusts his glasses and says softly, "Sakura, I'm sorry.. But.. I came in here to tell you that.."
I am positively glaring venom at him. "What, Fujitaka?! Tell me what?! You have a party for me living?! Oh great, I'll get the cake knife and use it!"
Fujitaka winces but says, "When you get better, you are going to see a psychiatrist. Sakura, we all want you to get better and-"
I push myself off of the bed and spit in Fujitaka's face. "Get better?! Better?! I can't get better!! I'M A FUCKING LOST CAUSE!
"You let me outta here, and I'll just keep getting knives, razors, anything! Anything that'll slice my wrist! There is no HOPE. If I had the strength, I'd grab that chair and throw it out the window. With the glass shards I'd slice myself!!"
The two go big eyed. "How could you think of.." Touya begins.
I laugh harshly. "Didn't expect that, did you? Never underestimate what a suicidal mind is capable of. If we really wanna die, then we'll do ANYTHING!"
Touya just stares at me, then runs out the door.
"THAT'S IT, TOUYA!" I scream. "CRY YOUR LITTLE HEART OUT! Oh wait.. YOU HAVE NO HEART! IF YOU HAD ONE, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE HERE! SO THANKS, TOUYA, YOU HELPED ME LAND IN THIS FUCKING DUMP!"
Fujitaka stares at me with both grief and disappointment. He turns and walks out, closing the door behind him.
I keep looking at the door and then look out the window.
"Serves them right," I mumble, pressing my hands against the glass. "They should take care of their own lives, and not worry about others."
I grimace.
"This fake worry..it's plain disgusting."
-
Please R&R. Arigato, minna-san!
Author Note: Heh heh.. Don't worry, there IS S&S. Just waaaaaaiiit..
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Mild language, suicidal action
Note: Sakura POV. Clow Cards don't exist. Surroundings same as 'Why Must You Do This To Me?'. Li Syaoran only came as a transfer student, but then left for Hong Kong. Only difference.
Because Of You
Two-Saved
by Sakura Maxwell
Ah ha.. So I finally can do it. I can finally put an end to my miserable life once and for all. I have the strength to. See? See the knife in my hand? The wonderful sharp, gleaming blade? Yes, of course. Today, I die.
I press the cool blade against my pale skin. This is it, I'll finally leave this God forsaken world. I narrow my eyes. I know it'll be painful, but it'll soon end.
I press harder and I see blood spurt out and drip to the carpet. I wince. It was a little slice. I need it bigger.
I press even harder and then I see the crimson blood come out like waves and fall around my wrist and onto the carpet. I stiffle a cry. I. Am. Strong. I can do this.
Even so, a cry escapes my lips. Bitch! I curse myself mentally. Damnit, I better be dead before anyone comes up.
And yet I hear running footsteps and then a bang on my door.
"Sakura? Sakura! SAKURA!!" Oniisan cries out from the other side as my eyelids flutter. So, I'm losing consciousness...losing everything. Wait, what is there to lose? Nothing.. I thought so.
I hear banging. Heh, good thing I.. Good thing I locked it.. Damn, so fast already. Man, no wonder they say most people slit wrists. Blood does rush out fast..
Then the door gives way. Damnit! Ahh.. Yes, and the last thing I see is the cursed image of my brother scooping me up in his arms and calling Otousan downstairs for..the..ambulance..
-
"Is she gonna be okay?" Touya demanded as the doctor entered the waiting room. "Is she?!"
The doctor looked up at him and sighed. "You know, it's a good thing you got her when you did. Otherwise.. She probably would've died."
Every face in the room lit up. "You mean, she's not dead?" Tomoyo asked with joy.
The doctor nodded.
"That's a relief," Yukito said, letting out his breath. Touya nodded and sat back down next to him, pulling Yukito in a hug of happiness.
"Ack-Not so hard, ah?" Yukito managed to say.
Tomoyo smiled. "So, when can we see her?"
The doctor frowned and said, "Well, one can go in there now but.. I rather not, not at this moment."
Fujitaka adjusted his glasses and asked, "Is there a certain reason?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes, well.. Does anyone have any clue as to why Ms.Kinomoto tried to kill herself?"
No one answered.
"I thought so," he said. "Well, I'm afraid she must have not felt..welcome or something.. So, not now. Not until she regains consciousness, alright?"
Everyone nodded grimly.
-
I open my eyes slowly and wince at the bright light blinding me.
Hoho.. So did I die? This the light at the end of the so called tunnel? Of course not. That would've been far too easy.
I push myself up and instantly wince when pressure is put on my wrist. I stare at it, then look around.
Then I narrow my eyes. It's to be expected that I should land in a hospital like this. With weird tubes connected to me, to keep me alive! Hn. Those people never understand.
I raised my right arm and painfully touch the tubes. "If I pull these out, then I leave this world," I whisper.
I tug at it gently. Then smirk. Oh yea, this'll be easy, I'll die, no problem.
I grasp the tube within my fingers and tug at it harder. I bite my lip. Damn, it hurts.
Caught up in my thoughts, I didn't hear the door open.
"SAKURA?!"
I jerk my head at the noise and narrow my eyes. "Touya."
Hehe.. I don't call him Onnisan anymore.. He has no right to be called older brother. Nor does Fujitaka.
And he rushes in to.
The two idiots crowd by me and pull my hand away from the tube.
"What are you doing, Sakura?!" demands Touya, staring at me with worry in his eyes. No, fake worry, I'm sure.
"Why, what I tried to do earlier," I reply calmly. "I would've succeeded if some certain people hadn't found me. I have to blame them then, ne?"
Fujitaka blinks and Touya flinches back, obviously hurt. Hurt? I really don't give a damn. That isn't half of what I've been through.
"Sakura, we just want to help you-"
I cut Fujitaka off by saying, "Help me? Help me?! How do you expect to help me?! You CAN'T help me! I'm a fucking lost cause!!!"
Fujitaka steps back. "Sakura.."
"DON'T SAKURA ME!" I shriek. "YOU CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! You can't!"
Touya looks up at me. "We understand-"
I glare hatred at him. "Understand?! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?! Have you wanted to die everyday?! Wanting to have courage to kill yourself, but never having it?! Then finally, I DO get this courage and for what?!
"YOU ASSHOLES GO AND SAVE ME! SAVE ME WHEN I WANTED TO DIE!! WHAT REASON DID YOU HAVE FOR SAVING ME WHEN I DIDN'T WANNA BE SAVED!"
Now tears are blurring my vision, but I don't care. The tears are of sorrow. Sorrow.. That I couldn't die. They just want to make me suffer. Bastards.
Both of them stare at me in absolute shock.
"Sakura.." Touya whispers.
Fujitaka adjusts his glasses and says softly, "Sakura, I'm sorry.. But.. I came in here to tell you that.."
I am positively glaring venom at him. "What, Fujitaka?! Tell me what?! You have a party for me living?! Oh great, I'll get the cake knife and use it!"
Fujitaka winces but says, "When you get better, you are going to see a psychiatrist. Sakura, we all want you to get better and-"
I push myself off of the bed and spit in Fujitaka's face. "Get better?! Better?! I can't get better!! I'M A FUCKING LOST CAUSE!
"You let me outta here, and I'll just keep getting knives, razors, anything! Anything that'll slice my wrist! There is no HOPE. If I had the strength, I'd grab that chair and throw it out the window. With the glass shards I'd slice myself!!"
The two go big eyed. "How could you think of.." Touya begins.
I laugh harshly. "Didn't expect that, did you? Never underestimate what a suicidal mind is capable of. If we really wanna die, then we'll do ANYTHING!"
Touya just stares at me, then runs out the door.
"THAT'S IT, TOUYA!" I scream. "CRY YOUR LITTLE HEART OUT! Oh wait.. YOU HAVE NO HEART! IF YOU HAD ONE, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE HERE! SO THANKS, TOUYA, YOU HELPED ME LAND IN THIS FUCKING DUMP!"
Fujitaka stares at me with both grief and disappointment. He turns and walks out, closing the door behind him.
I keep looking at the door and then look out the window.
"Serves them right," I mumble, pressing my hands against the glass. "They should take care of their own lives, and not worry about others."
I grimace.
"This fake worry..it's plain disgusting."
-
Please R&R. Arigato, minna-san!
Author Note: Heh heh.. Don't worry, there IS S&S. Just waaaaaaiiit..