I just revised this like I said I would, improved for the time being.(25 Jan.02)
This is for the people who asked for a Sorato. I'm sorry it's angst one.
I got the idea after I saw 'A very digi Christmas' and I just wrote it. Lately I'm stuck on my fics in progress and only seem able to write new ones. I promised myself I'd review this later because it's not very well written. It's based a couple of months after 'a very digi Christmas.'
You Never Know, Might Turn Into Song Material
By yotama
Matt slung his guitar over his shoulder. Friday afternoon band practice was finished.
'Hey Matt, are you all right?' asked Lenny, the bass guitarist.
'Huh?' said Matt jerked out of his own thoughts.
'Well, you seemed a bit distant and you were a bit late on some of your entries. Something on your mind?' Lenny explained.
'Uh, no. Nothing important.'
'You wanna talk about it? You never know, might turn into song material.'
'Nah, it's all right. Hey you guys go on, I'll lock up here,' offered Matt.
'Ok, see you later man.' Lenny wandered out the side door after the rest of the band. Matt flipped the light switch. The fluorescent lights hummed and flickered a bit before fading into darkness. Matt stood and stared at the faint outline of the drum kit before turning around and slipping outside into the dull February afternoon. He shut the door and fished for the key in his pocket, found it and locked the door.
The Teenage Wolves practised in the end garage of a row of garages that were being rent out. They had had to scrounge money of friends and family for months to be able to afford the first couple of rent payments. Now they used their money from gigs, which left them with not much extra. But the rest of the band thought it was worth it.
Matt didn't like the crowds though, he would have been happy just playing in his room, preferring to hide away from the publicity. He just liked the music. He was sure no one really understood what he was saying in his songs, so what was the point of people hearing them? Matt didn't know and had gotten to the point were he didn't really care. The rest of the band just wanted three things; money, fame and girls. Matt couldn't even remember why he'd agreed to be in the band now.
Matt sighed and looked up, finding himself in the park he sat down and thought about what he was going to do. I don't want to, but I also do… I have to, wait stop! You think too much and don't talk enough, now's the time to talk. Go.
'Ok' he said to himself, looking towards the exit of the park, it led right to Sora's apartment block.
Matt had been doing a lot of thinking lately (almost too much thinking) mostly to do with Sora and partly Tai. When Matt was in a depressed mood, his life in general, sucked. When he was ok, he went into 'what can I do to make my life better' mode. That's what he was in now, except this was something he just thought was wrong and since he could fix it he thought he should.
Matt found himself at Sora's door this time. He knocked and waited, Sora answered.
'Matt!' said Sora, leaning forward and kissing him lightly.
'Hi Sora, I was-'
'What's wrong?' she interrupted, concern spreading over her face.
Can everybody tell what I'm thinking by my face? Matt thought.
'Uh nothing, I just wanted to talk.'
'Ok,' said Sora, 'Hold on and I'll get my coat, we can go to the park.' Matt nodded. Sora quickly put on her shoes and grabbed her long cream coat.
'Mama, I'm going to the park I'll be back for dinner, ok?' Sora ran out without waiting for an answer.
'So what do you want to talk about,' asked Sora, slipping her hand into Matt's He didn't object but he didn't hold on tighter either.
Sora was glad to have the time to talk for once. Matt was usually reserved and didn't talk much normally, the Digiworld had brought him out of that a bit and it helped if the person was a fellow Digidestined so they had something in common. It didn't help matters if he was in a band and had very little spare time.
They walked out of the apartment building in silence before Matt began.
'Sora, this is going to be very hard, but I want you to understand that I've given this a lot of thought, and… and that what I'm doing is right,' he paused.
Sora said nothing, her face was carefully expressionless, she wasn't going to think about were this conversation was going.
Matt was now nervous, he cast around for something.
'Sora, come on and sit down.' Sora removed her hand from Matt's and followed him over to the bench. They both sat down, Sora looked at her hands on her knees and Matt stared straight ahead. He took a deep breath.
'Sora, I'm no good for you,' Matt said, he turned to face Sora and took her hands in his.
'Sora, look at me please' Sora raised her gaze into his clear sapphire eyes (funnily enough my birth stone is the sapphire, and well…uh, back to the story -_-; )
'You don't love me, you may think you do but you don't. I don't know why you put up with me, we never have any time together, I'm always busy, I can never be there for you…You know it's true.'
Sora stared at some spot just above his head, tears glistened in the corners of her eyes.
'I was wrong to ever ask you out, I'm sorry,' he said looking down.
'No Matt, don't be-'
'Well I am,' Matt interrupted looking up again. 'Look at how much pain it's caused you, I knew it would never last… and what about Tai?'
'Tai?'
'Don't you ever notice the way he's been so quiet since we've been together? Or the look on his face when he thinks no one's watching? We're breaking his heart but he tries to hide it. For you. So that you're happy. But I know your not. And the longer we're together the worse it is, for the both of you. Think about it Sora, you know I'm right,' he said quietly looking down again.
Sora nodded, tears ran down her face.' I, I didn't realise…that you- I didn't want to hurt you, I couldn't...'
'You,' he said, voice choking up. 'You and Tai should be together.'
Sora said nothing till Matt got up and began to walk away.
'Matt, wait!' she ran towards him and wrapped him up in a hug.
'Thank-you,' she whispered, then she left.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Matt walked home, his guitar felt very heavy. I did the right thing, he told himself.
He let himself into the apartment he shared with his dad and sometimes T.K. His dad wouldn't be home yet. He left his guitar in his room and wandered around the kitchen. The only thing left to eat was mouldy, uh… well mouldy something, not that you could tell and some flavoured tofu. Matt decided he wasn't hungry.
He wandered around to the sofa and sat beside the phone. Eventually he picked it up and dialled.
'Hello, this is the Kamiya residence.' Matt heard someone giggle in the background.
'T.K? What are you doing there?' asked Matt. He heard T.K talking to somebody, possibly Kari.
'It's Matt, what'll I do?'
'Here give it to me'
'We are all out at the moment, if you want to leave a message please do so after the beep,' said Kari.
'Kari, look everyone knows about you and T.K so don't try and hide it, and I need to talk to Tai. Now.'
'Oh…right. Well, Tai's not here 'cause if he was T.K wouldn't be.'
'Hey, what are you doing,' asked T.K.
'Don't worry,' said Kari. 'Matt says everyone knew anyway.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Tai's POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Do you know what it feels like? Watching the girl you love with another guy? And of all the people that guy could be, it's your best friend.
It's like having a constant pain that makes you want to be dragged somewhere kicking and screaming just to drown it out, or curl up in an inconspicuous corner and cry quietly.
You are consciously aware of it all the time. Sure, sometimes you can be distracted for a few seconds and the pain dulls to an ache. Maybe, just maybe, you might even be able to forget why it hurts. But it's there. It's not like physical pain. It's in your heart. It's worse because it doesn't go away with aspirin. I suppose it would go away if you had all memories of the fact that Sora and Matt were together, erased. Or if you had a frontal lobotomy.
My head says, 'let them be together, they're happy.' So my heart just has to deal.
I hate the way Sora's eyes light up when Matt walks into a room or his name is mentioned. I hate it more when that sad, defeated look appears on her face when she has to miss out on a school dance because Matt has a gig or cancel a date because his practice ran over.
The only thing worse than seeing her with Matt is seeing her get hurt by him.
But she puts up with it and for what? Five minutes on the phone while Matt does his homework.
I suppose she really loves him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
'Oh wait, he's home now I'll get him for you Matt,' said Kari across the phone.
Matt heard quite a commotion on the other end. Just because Tai knew didn't mean he couldn't make a fuss when he found Kari and T.K together. Eventually Tai picked up the phone.
'Whoever this is I don't feel like talking right now, so-'
'It's Matt, I need to tell you something; me and Sora broke up,' he said as casually as possible.
'YOU, WHAT? Matt, how could you? It's bad enough you never have time for her, how can you hurt her like that? You are such a total- I mean… why?' demanded Tai.
'We talked and decided it was for the best, I … I think you should go talk to her,' said Matt.
'Oh, don't worry, I'll just brake up with Sora and let Tai pick up all the pieces. He won't mind since he's always there and got nothing better to do,' said Tai angrily.
'Tai this is serious, and your starting to sound like Joe. Just go talk to her and it'll all work out, bye.'
Tai was left with the buzzing sound of the phone. He set it down and left the apartment. Walking towards the part were Sora lived.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Matt hung up and shuffled down the hall to his room. He sat on his bed for a while. Then he picked up his acoustic guitar for a while and set it down again without playing anything. He fumbled through his desk drawer for a pencil. When he found one he began to write on the wall. It was a bad habit. There was nowhere else to write. He wrote all his best songs on his bedroom wall anyway.
End
----------------------
Based on previous experience (-_-)
So that's it, thanks for reading.
If you anything at all to say please review or email me-
hikari_kamiya_@hotmail.com
arigatou
