***Celebrity Deathmatch: Trent Reznor vs. Fred Durst***
~By: Stacie Russell~
Johnny: Welcome to another gut-wrenching Celebrity Deathmatch! I'm Johnny Gomez.
Nick: And I'm Nick Diamond. Today's match will be a battle of the bands!
Johnny: That's right, Nick. Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails against Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit.
Nick: Fred Durst is known for his hatred of bands he thinks sucks. Like Creed.
Johnny: I'd have to agree with Fred there, Nick.
Nick: As would I, Johhny. As would I.
Johnny: Anyway, on his radio interview, Trent said that Fred's music "sucked as much as one could suck. It was the most suckiest piece of crap I've ever heard in my life. Frankly, Limp Bizkit sucks."
Nick: Not the most intelligent thing to say about Fred Durst. His words may prove fatal.
Johhny: And here comes Trent Reznor!
(Trent walks out, dressed all in black with a silver pendant necklace)
Trent: Thank you! I am friends with Marilyn Manson, and he's never lost a match, so why should I?
(Trent smiles and touches his pendant briefly)
Nick: And Trent seems confident about this match.
(Fred walks out with his usual NY Yankees cap)
Fred: Listen, you black haired bitch! I don't give a f*ck who you know. Know this, asshole: I pack a chainsaw and I'll skin your ass raw!
(The crowd cheers and hold up "Limp Bizkit" signs)
Trent: What the f*ck does that sh*t mean? How in the holy Christ could you be packing a fuc*in chainsaw?
(Fred flips off Trent and then mouths "Blow me")
Johnny: And these two can't wait to beat the living hell out of each other!
Mills: All right, gentleman. You (Pointing to Trent) are a depressing rock jockey. And you (Pointing to Fred) are a rock/rap singer. I want a good, clean, fight. Now let's get it on!
(Bell rings)
Nick: I couldn't wait for this fight to start! I have high hopes for this event!
(Fred walks up to Trent and slaps him lightly across the face)
Johnny: What the hell?! Fred needs to put more oomph in his ass-kicking technique, or he's going down fast!
(Trent smiles and grabs Fred and throws him against the turnbuckle)
Trent: You suck, Durst. You always have, and always will. Face it: You'll never amount to anything, poser!
(Fred looks pissed and jumps into the air as Trent runs towards the turnbuckle)
Nick: A nice move by Fred Durst! Things are starting to look up for him.
(Fred lands in the opposite corner and Trent turns and runs towards him again)
Fred: Bring it on, bitch-ass!
(Crowd: OOOH)
(Trent runs towards Fred)
Johnny: Can Trent catch up to Fred?
(Fred thens grabs Trent's necklace and turns it around his neck tighter)
(Trent's face turns red and he drops)
Nick: And Judge Mills is looking over this particular move by Durst)
(Mills squats, looking at Trent's face, which is now turning purple. He nods his head)
Mills: I'll allow it!
(The pendant glows a bright red and burns Fred's hand)
Fred: F*ck!
Johnny: Trent's necklace seems to posses some magical power!
(Trent jumps up again and takes off the necklace, which is now glowing so red, the camera can't focus on it)
Trent: Now, let's see if you can handle the heat, Durst!
(The lights to the arena go out and the fans scream)
Nick: Those damn electritions! Lazy bastards probably screwed up the system!
Johnny: Folks, just relax. I'm sure the personnel can fix this.
(Suddenly the light goes back on)
(Durst is in the middle of the ring, with a baseball bat plunged in his chest)
Nick: Oh my God!
Johnny: Look over there!
(Trent is laying in between the ropes, strangled)
Johnny: Who could have done such a thing?!
(A figure walks up to the ring)
Nick: That's Wes from Limp Bizkit!!!
Johnny: What the f*ck is going on here?!
(Crowd: Holy sh*t!)
Mills: What the darn?
(Wes is holding a mic and glaring at the camera)
Wes: Yeah, that's right ladies and gentleman: I, Wes, killed Trent and Fred. And why?
(Wes paues and kicks Fred's body)
Wes: I'll tell you, why! All the fans, all the interviewers, all the women want FRED. It's Fred this and Fred that. What about me? What about Wes?!
(In the audience is Raven from ECW. He gets up.)
Raven: I can not believe you are utilizing my gimmick in this shoddy display of envy over your better.
Wes: What the f*ck are you talking about?!
Raven: "What about me? What about Raven?!" is my line, you freakish monkey!
Wes: Shut the f*ck up! This is my night of glory. All these years I have been living in Fred's shadow. But no more!
Raven: All right, you can have your fifteen minutes of fame, I guess. I too know the hardships of being overlooked.
Nick: Johnny? What the cripes is going on?
Johnny: It seems that Wes has snapped and has killed Trent Reznor and Fred Durst. I can't believe it!
Wes: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some groupies to lay!
(Wes exits. Trent's body falls from the ropes when the door is slammed)
Nick: Well, folks, this has been a very surprising turn of events.
Johnny: You can say that again, Nick!
Nick: I'm Nick Diamond
Johhny: And I'm Johnny Gomez saying: Good fight, good night!
~Amazing, huh? I didn't know how this would end, either. I just typed and out it came! Spooky... E-mail: offspringchica84@aol.com
~By: Stacie Russell~
Johnny: Welcome to another gut-wrenching Celebrity Deathmatch! I'm Johnny Gomez.
Nick: And I'm Nick Diamond. Today's match will be a battle of the bands!
Johnny: That's right, Nick. Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails against Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit.
Nick: Fred Durst is known for his hatred of bands he thinks sucks. Like Creed.
Johnny: I'd have to agree with Fred there, Nick.
Nick: As would I, Johhny. As would I.
Johnny: Anyway, on his radio interview, Trent said that Fred's music "sucked as much as one could suck. It was the most suckiest piece of crap I've ever heard in my life. Frankly, Limp Bizkit sucks."
Nick: Not the most intelligent thing to say about Fred Durst. His words may prove fatal.
Johhny: And here comes Trent Reznor!
(Trent walks out, dressed all in black with a silver pendant necklace)
Trent: Thank you! I am friends with Marilyn Manson, and he's never lost a match, so why should I?
(Trent smiles and touches his pendant briefly)
Nick: And Trent seems confident about this match.
(Fred walks out with his usual NY Yankees cap)
Fred: Listen, you black haired bitch! I don't give a f*ck who you know. Know this, asshole: I pack a chainsaw and I'll skin your ass raw!
(The crowd cheers and hold up "Limp Bizkit" signs)
Trent: What the f*ck does that sh*t mean? How in the holy Christ could you be packing a fuc*in chainsaw?
(Fred flips off Trent and then mouths "Blow me")
Johnny: And these two can't wait to beat the living hell out of each other!
Mills: All right, gentleman. You (Pointing to Trent) are a depressing rock jockey. And you (Pointing to Fred) are a rock/rap singer. I want a good, clean, fight. Now let's get it on!
(Bell rings)
Nick: I couldn't wait for this fight to start! I have high hopes for this event!
(Fred walks up to Trent and slaps him lightly across the face)
Johnny: What the hell?! Fred needs to put more oomph in his ass-kicking technique, or he's going down fast!
(Trent smiles and grabs Fred and throws him against the turnbuckle)
Trent: You suck, Durst. You always have, and always will. Face it: You'll never amount to anything, poser!
(Fred looks pissed and jumps into the air as Trent runs towards the turnbuckle)
Nick: A nice move by Fred Durst! Things are starting to look up for him.
(Fred lands in the opposite corner and Trent turns and runs towards him again)
Fred: Bring it on, bitch-ass!
(Crowd: OOOH)
(Trent runs towards Fred)
Johnny: Can Trent catch up to Fred?
(Fred thens grabs Trent's necklace and turns it around his neck tighter)
(Trent's face turns red and he drops)
Nick: And Judge Mills is looking over this particular move by Durst)
(Mills squats, looking at Trent's face, which is now turning purple. He nods his head)
Mills: I'll allow it!
(The pendant glows a bright red and burns Fred's hand)
Fred: F*ck!
Johnny: Trent's necklace seems to posses some magical power!
(Trent jumps up again and takes off the necklace, which is now glowing so red, the camera can't focus on it)
Trent: Now, let's see if you can handle the heat, Durst!
(The lights to the arena go out and the fans scream)
Nick: Those damn electritions! Lazy bastards probably screwed up the system!
Johnny: Folks, just relax. I'm sure the personnel can fix this.
(Suddenly the light goes back on)
(Durst is in the middle of the ring, with a baseball bat plunged in his chest)
Nick: Oh my God!
Johnny: Look over there!
(Trent is laying in between the ropes, strangled)
Johnny: Who could have done such a thing?!
(A figure walks up to the ring)
Nick: That's Wes from Limp Bizkit!!!
Johnny: What the f*ck is going on here?!
(Crowd: Holy sh*t!)
Mills: What the darn?
(Wes is holding a mic and glaring at the camera)
Wes: Yeah, that's right ladies and gentleman: I, Wes, killed Trent and Fred. And why?
(Wes paues and kicks Fred's body)
Wes: I'll tell you, why! All the fans, all the interviewers, all the women want FRED. It's Fred this and Fred that. What about me? What about Wes?!
(In the audience is Raven from ECW. He gets up.)
Raven: I can not believe you are utilizing my gimmick in this shoddy display of envy over your better.
Wes: What the f*ck are you talking about?!
Raven: "What about me? What about Raven?!" is my line, you freakish monkey!
Wes: Shut the f*ck up! This is my night of glory. All these years I have been living in Fred's shadow. But no more!
Raven: All right, you can have your fifteen minutes of fame, I guess. I too know the hardships of being overlooked.
Nick: Johnny? What the cripes is going on?
Johnny: It seems that Wes has snapped and has killed Trent Reznor and Fred Durst. I can't believe it!
Wes: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some groupies to lay!
(Wes exits. Trent's body falls from the ropes when the door is slammed)
Nick: Well, folks, this has been a very surprising turn of events.
Johnny: You can say that again, Nick!
Nick: I'm Nick Diamond
Johhny: And I'm Johnny Gomez saying: Good fight, good night!
~Amazing, huh? I didn't know how this would end, either. I just typed and out it came! Spooky... E-mail: offspringchica84@aol.com