Disclaimer:
Sayermyst: *tapping on shoulder* Squaresoft. Hey!
Squaresoft: What?
Sayermyst: I demand you hand over the propriety rights of the Secret of Mana. *pulls out a .22*
Squarsoft: *pulling out an AK-47* How about no?
Sayermyst: *dejectedly* Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Notes: Sorry for taking so long on this one, everyone. I had to take the time to settle into the wave of insanity again. Anyway, I became a bit more...shall I say, creative with this section, so if you're reaction is along the lines of "...riiiiiiight," that's okay.
Still Day 2
Randi: *Figuring he has nowhere else to go (other than through the two pillars to the Haunted Forest, where –with his sanity back- he decides not to go) he travels south a bit in an attempt to find Gaia's Navel* Sign, sign. Need to find a sign...Ah-ha! *walks over to the sign and feels something bite his ankle, after which he immediately swallows another herb to dispel the nauseous feeling* Alright, damnit! *glares around in the bunch of pink flowers and unsheathes his sword* I've had enough of this! Come out and face me like a true monster! * sees something rustle the bunch of pink flowers*
Pretty Pink Flower: *sway*
Randi: *cautiously searching for the monster that is moving the flowers*
Pretty Pink Flower: *sway, sway*
Randi: ...
Pretty Pink Flower: *swaying enticingly*
Randi: (??? The...flower. It moves like a woman! What an enchanting species....) * bends to pluck it from the earth*
Pretty Pink Flower: *CHOMP*
Randi: Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! My hand! *ineffectively swings the Mana Sword at the flower while clumsily popping yet another herb into his mouth* It's you! You bit me earlier you stupid frikin' plant! Die! *rushes towards it blade-first*
Lullabud: *easily evading Randi's swipes because of its shortness* *points to itself with one of its multi-leaved leaves and shakes it head innocently*
Randi: *pauses* Well, even if it wasn't you last time, it was you this time!
Lullabud: *CHOMP*
Randi: Evil *Pops another herb in his mouth* Evil plant! And how dare you imitate a woman to gain my attentions! That's not fighting fair! *charges again*
Lullabud: *easily evading the charge once again* *graces Randi with an adorable little flower grin, holds up a tiny flower fist and raises the middle leaf/finger*
Randi: *squinting to decipher the flower code* Just what kind of sign language...? *!!!* Why you little.... *approaching Lullabud with a predatory gait* I'm gonna chop you up into so many pieces you're family won't be able to recover one speck of gp from your decimated plant body! I will have taken every ounce! *makes to deliver a fatal blow, but with the first motion is stopped by the pain of another sudden bite to his ankle. He looks toward the ground to discover the kin of the Lullabud #1* *gulp* My, I never realized what a large...family... you have....
Lullabud: *snicker*
Randi: *Backing up slowly, scrounging for an herb to rid himself of the oncoming woozy sensation- to discover that his supply has already been depleted* And of course, by 'decimating you into so many pieces your family won't be able to recover a speck of gp from your body', I mean 'Why can't we just be friends?' *cheesy nervous smile, while sheathing the Mana Sword in a gesture of peace*
All the Lullabuds: *rising into a wave of their poisonous selves, ready to crash down in Randi's direction*
Randi: *craning head back to see the top of the plant wave* Oh. Shit. *runs like a bat out of hell*
All the Lullabuds: *crashing towards Randi*
Randi: *shouting* Heeeellllp! *huff* This...*huff* is not...*huff* right! Pretty things in nature *huff* are supposed to be nice! *huff* Pink is the friendly color! *huff* I didn't do anything! It's *huff* not my fault! *huff* It started it! Not me! *spots a cozy little cottage in the midst of the woods*
Anonymous Choir: *gloriously* AwwwwhhhhhhAhhhhhhh!
Sayermyst: *peeved* Okay! Where did the cottage come from? I was enjoying my scene of Randi running from the wave of psycho plants. Who would live out in the middle of nowhere, especially if they could gather a significantly larger amount of business living in a village?
Neko: *glare warningly*
Sayermyst: Huh? Wha-? Oh. Ohhhhh, this is your cottage? *sees audience* Whoops, uh, no offense intended. It's my dysfunctional side talking, really it is. You know, late at night, computers, chocolate syrup, bathtubs, flame throwers, seashells....*sweatdrop* Er... I'm going now. *leaves the scene*
Randi: *has finally reached the cottage in the woods and is now pounding against the door* Open the door! Let me in! Lemme in! Lemme in! Lemme-! *falls in as the door is suddenly opened*
Catman with a cowboy hat: *shutting the door* Welcome, how may I help you?
*much tiny patting and pittering is heard hitting the door*
Randi: *sprawled on the floor* Wha'ever you do, don't open tha' door.
Catman with a cowboy hat: Mista soun' like in need of herbs, yes?
Randi: *losing consciousness* Uhnn. Yessss.
Catman with a cowboy hat: This good! Business been slow for very long time. You first customer in weeks! Now, here is the herb. *placing the herb in one of Randi's hands* Now you give me money. *Reaches for Randi's money pouch*
Randi: *stuffing the herb in his mouth and simultaneously springing up from the floor, using his other hand to grasp the pouch away* Don't touch my gp! D'you 'ave any idea how long it took t' colle' all this? And I wo' 'ave i' stolen by some catman jus' 'cause I'm falling unconscious.... *collapses onto one of the three beds*
Catman with a cowboy hat: Hey, you no pay, you no stay! *makes another grab for the money pouch*
Randi: *clamps his money pouch between the top of his thighs* Whe' I wake up.... *snore*
Catman with a cowboy hat: *shaking his head, grumbling* You a dirty man, Mista. A sick, sick teenager.
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Day 3
Randi: *peering eyes open, only to see the catman*
Catman with a cowboy hat: *face to face with Randi, grinning* Now you pay, yes?
Randi: *yawning leisurely* Yeah yeah yeah. Hold on. * Takes pouch from between his thighs and nearly winces at the ache* How much do I owe you?
Catman with a cowboy hat: Emergency service alone is one hundred gp. Herb costs twenty gp. Inn services are... *eyeing full money pouch* ... fifty gp.
Randi: What?! But those prices are even more ridiculous than the ones in Potos! Practically double or more! Who are you anyway?
Catman with a cowboy hat: I am salesman Neko, kindly vendor to all unfortunates and then some. Now, please, the money, or I shall be forced to kill you with my claws.
Randi: *reluctantly acceding* *grumbling* Stupid cat. Rotten salesman....*drops the gp into Neko's furry palm*
Neko: *Closes palm around the gp, counting and caressing every coin*
Randi: *arms crossed, still sitting on the bed* Y'know, I am THE...the....
Neko: Mana Knight?
Randi: Right. Exactly. So you should give me a discount or something.
Neko: * holding extreme dubiousness, sees Randi's serious expression, spurts poorly withheld laughter* 'Dis very nice mista. You very funny teenager! Everybody try that ploy with Neko, but you de funniest yet! *wiping laughter tears from eyes, irritates eye with fur and instead wipes with sleeve* A teenager with fluffy hair, who runs away from Lullabuds, is gonna save the world. Oh, the insanity!
Sayermyst: Hey, that's my line!
Neko: *warning glare at the roof*
Sayermyst: Ummm...right.
Randi: I'm serious!
Neko: *humoring the teenager with fluffy hair who thinks he is going to save the world* Yes yes, of course. Now, will there be anything else you require?
Randi: Um.... (Oh, I miss my stash of chocolate!) Chocolate?
Neko: Just chocolate? Please, follow me to counter. There are lots of other things for you, mista. *beckons to follow*
Randi: *follows*
Neko: Here four chocolate bars.
Randi: Just four? *stuffs three of the bars into pouch and voraciously unwraps and eats the fourth* (mmmm...Breakfast of champions!) *Instantly he feels totally refreshed, the bags underneath his eyes disappear and his hair becomes glossier*
Neko: *lifts a furry eyebrow* You no blame Neko. I reorder many days ago, but nothing is sure with monsters around. * scrounges through the shelves more, finds a sack of something, and blows off a layer of dust, setting it on the counter* And herbs, 'dis really something you need when you skip through the flowers outside.
Randi: (Well, that's one thing a person can never have enough of....) Yeah, I'll take the sack, too. * (disposes of the last herb sack) ties the new herb sack next to the pouch* Um...do you have any armor? You know, something metal?
Neko: *thinking* My store not carry much in way of armor, but...*digs out a bracelet from a bin of miscellaneous junk* this is the top line in fashion these days.
Randi: *trying it on* Uh-hn. And how, exactly, does this help me?
Neko: *conspiratorially* One thing I know for sure that's good about this: Lullabuds can't bite you on the wrist. And oh, just man to man, the ladies love them.
Randi: (To buy or not to buy...) You're sure?
Neko: Would I lie?
Randi: ...I'll take it. *feeling grateful to the catman* What do I owe you, Neko sir?
Neko: My fine quality goods total to the sum of every gp coin you have in that pouch, and then some. But I like you, so I give you fair deal. Just give me all of the gp in your pouch. Yes?
Randi: *glaring* How 'bout no? (Which one.... I should probably keep the herbs....) I'll simply return these three other chocolate bars....* digs out the three chocolate bars and slaps them onto the counter's surface* *mock respect* I would like to return these items, please. *places a substantial amount of gp with the chocolate to pay for the herbs and wristband*
Neko: This is no problem. I am always happy to transact with a customer. * gathers the money and goods, calculates, then closes the register and clicks 15 gp onto the counter*
Randi: *scrutinizes the meager amount of coins* This can't be right. You did your calculations wrong!
Neko: Mista, shipping and handling very expensive these days. And the chocolate's value was cut in half for being in the bag that was near your crotch all night. * raises hands and shrugs* I am simply a poor, humble, shrewd businessman trying to make his way in the world.
Randi: If this is all I get back for the chocolate, I want those three bars back!
Neko: Of course, as the customer wishes. *bows and retrieves the bars from the shelf*
Randi: *tosses the 15 gp into Neko's paw, stuffs the chocolate in his pouch, and turns to leave*
Neko: Mista! This only half the cost of the chocolate! You owe me the rest in your bag!
Randi: What?! You charge me double the price you gave me for them?
Neko: I could not be where I am today if I let people slide. My policy *points to The Board of Policies on the wall* clearly states my rules.
Randi: Well, what if I just return them again?
Neko: I can't allow you to do that. They're now officially contaminated and may spoil my other goods. No, you see, money the only way.
Randi: *gives the money* You'll be sorry. You are ticking off one powerful guy here. I am THE-
Neko: Mana Knight?
Randi: Right. Exactly.
Neko: *snorting with laughter*
Randi: I hate you. *opening the door, grumbling* Lousy, sleazy, no-good....*pauses in front of closed door when he hears...nothing* (O-kay. What happened to the Lullabud Gang?) *cautiously nears a bunch of serene pink flowers that look like Lullabuds and jabs one with the tip of the Mana Sword*
Pretty Pink Flower: *being jabbed*
Randi: *slices the stem from beneath the flower*
Pretty Pink Flower: *dead*
Randi: *whew* (Well at least this isn't the bunch of bloodthirsty Lullabuds-)
The Bunch of Bloodthirsty Lullabuds: *moving closer very quickly*
Randi: ( GP GALORE!!!) *readies his blade at the oncoming mass* Ohhhhhh, you are just pleading to die! *rushes ahead*
Sayermyst: Wow, I haven't seen him fight this skillfully since...well, he's never fought this well. Randi, save some for the bosses.
Randi: *slicing and dicing the flurry of Lullabuds* Grahh! *swip* Nnaaa! *swing* Erraa! {Translation: indecipherable male battle grunts}
Sayermyst: So much whacking! *poetically* It is as a rainfall of petals and gold....
Randi: Yay! I have my money back! *begins collecting all of the gp from the ground, while keeping Neko (who rushed outside) at bay with the Mana Sword*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sayermyst: Neko bothers the heck out of me. Oh, sure, he'll save your life at times, but there's always a price. Isn't there? ISN'T THERE?!
Neko: *stops counting his gp to glare*
Sayermyst: No complaining. * to people of the non-magical game world* Oh, and the next part should be coming out fairly soon. *getting tingly all over because the next part will be even more fun than this one* *tapping fingers together* I have plans....
PS- I made a slight change to the end of chapter 3. (I had to atone for my forgetfulness. It's all Neko's fault, whining about my narration)....