Heart of Shadows

Again and again, she dreamed the same dream. Sparsely at first, but soon it came to her every day, sometimes even multiple times in one night.

Shiera knew what it meant, she knew what she had to do, but that made actually doing it no easier.

It was clear to her that the dragon would not hatch as things stood. None of their attempts had changed anything. Not fire and flame, not their combined blood, and not even Naruto's attempt from the day before at reversing the petrification.

He had announced his second attempt successful, but the egg had not taken to their efforts any different than before. Shiera could not detect the change herself, but she trusted that Naruto was telling her the truth. Whatever he had done exactly had worked, only it had not made a difference.

She needed Naruto to leave her and the egg. But not yet. The egg may not hatch in that time but there were other uses she had for him. A few days, two weeks perhaps. Maybe even more. Until then she had other things to do and prepare.

Once the necklace she had commissioned had been finished the next step was easy enough.

Last night, in the grip of their passions, Naruto had spilled his seed inside her. He had needed little enough encouragement for that. In the end he was still a man, if an extraordinary one.

Shiera had begun shaping her magic immediately afterwards, the steps and requirements of what she intended to do still clear in her mind after all those years since she had learned. A shadow familiar was a reflection of the person. A weak person produced a weak shadow and strong person a strong shadow. The kind created using Naruto would no doubt be both great and terrible to behold.

Of course, a shadow could not encompass every part of the person. They were not bound by a physical body which freed and limited them in different regards. How much of the effect Naruto had on the world and magic in his surroundings would be translated to the familiar she was creating would only be clear once it had been fully born.

Naruto had already left for the day, to train in bow and dagger and knife, and then to lighten the purses of the city's sailors. It was not only about the money, she knew. He also simply enjoyed the games and wagers.

Minutes and then hours passed, and Shiera spent the time she did not use on controlling the magic giving birth to shadows in her womb on reading. Even if she was not birthing life, the physical strain was no less considerable, which was to say nothing of the magical one.

Shiera was for more accustomed to her magic now than she had been when she had first learned of shadowbinding in Asshai, and more powerful besides, but that did little in making the process easy or pleasant.

Ordinarily a shadow familiar was imparted with a specific purpose before being born, but for this one she wanted as long a life as possible. She needed it only to continue its existence as time passed, nothing more. Trapping it inside the black opal set in the necklace would do the rest.

Morning turned to noon, then afternoon, and then evening. By that time Shiera near resembled a woman less than a moon away from giving birth. Naruto was soon to return as well, which suited her purposes. He would be no help during the actual birthing but, if worst came to worst and she lost control, having him there to interfere would be helpful.

Magic maintained her control and her body did the rest.

Though this was shadowbinding in its most powerful form, she supposed that it was just another shape of blood magic as well. This was sacrifice and power and blood as much as it was training, study, and will. Fortunately, blood magic was the most powerful form of magic there was.

The room was already prepared for everything to occur as she had planned, Valyrian glyphs mirroring those carved into the silver of the necklace spread out on the floor. Shiera had written them in her own blood. Considering her heritage, their effects should only be enhanced further.

She heard Naruto enter the building and move in her direction, done with his own business for the day. The smile on her lips was unconscious, but it only made what she would have to do soon more painful. Shiera tried her best not to think of that.

They had days, even weeks, yet. Time to spend together.

"Shiera?" Naruto called, before entering the room.

He stopped, frozen in his tracks, his mouth hanging open in surprise. That reaction was easy enough to understand, when he had left her that morning, she had not shown any signs of pregnancy yet, after all.

Shiera had seen the desire in his eyes when he looked at her many times, for her and her body, but now a different kind was reflected in his gaze. The sight of her like this, heavy with the fruits of magic, breasts and belly swollen, seemed to stoke an entirely different kind of fire in him. Enough to overwhelm his clear surprise.

Naruto had never said it to her in as many words, but his dreams and wishes in that regard were clear.

Perhaps she should have explained her plans before, but that conversation would have cut far too close to her reasons for going ahead with this now.

"Not what you expected to see?"

"Huh?" Naruto continued to stare, still clearly not understanding just what he was seeing. Shiera made to stand, but the movement made her wince and abandon the attempt. She had been spending too long sitting as her body adapted to the magical ritual, and even if there was no child's weight to accompany her size, there was still strain.

At least her reaction seemed to finally snap Naruto out of his daze. A few long strides and then he was next to her and helping her stand, allowing her to put most of her weight on him. "The floor." Shiera motioned towards the centre of the circle of glyphs.

"What..., what is this?" he asked, confused but willing to follow her lead even without knowing the details, as they walked the short distance. Naruto carefully lowered her to the floor, where a simple Myrish carpet was laid out to make the following proceedings a bit less uncomfortable for her.

"Explanations will be, ugh, for later." Things were starting now, no doubt helped along by Naruto's mere presence. She had judged there to still be a few minutes left, but that had been before and could not be helped now. "I will need you to wait for now, outside the glyphs."

Magic began pulsing from inside her, and the strain on her body and mind quickly increased. That was abnormal but not cause for great concern yet. Shiera had only birthed a shadow familiar three times, all of which had happened during training, but the knowledge of the process and its intricacies had been burned into her mind more clearly than any amount of direct experience could accomplish.

She had braved the Pit in the bowels of Stygai and touched Shadow itself. Knowledge had been imparted that day, but not freely, and then had followed the fight to return. To herself it had not taken long, hours, days at most. On the outside it had been years.

More and more magic and shadow reacted to each other, joining into one, allowing her will to form it. Pressure heightened, physically and magically.

Even if Shiera had never birthed a child of her own, she knew of the physical strain involved in ordinary labour. The one she was engaged in was a kinder sort in that regard. There was tension and pressure but no pain for her here, much of which she could ignore quite well, her mind hard at work shaping the familiar and imparting it with purpose.

Breathing life, if a queer sort, into something that would and could never truly live.

Further and further the energies rose and roused and the tension in her body followed along. Shiera groaned, no longer able to bare it all in complete silence. Nearly there.

Naruto obediently waited outside of the ring of glyphs, kneeling on the floor without complaint, his weapons put to the side in an orderly fashion. Weapon maintenance was one of the few things that could get him to act with care and attention every single time, she had learned. Swing a piece of steel around, or more often give it to him to fiddle with, and you would have his mostly undivided attention.

Now the armaments were entirely forgotten, despite their value, and she could see the conflict starting to grow in him. But he had agreed to wait, even if he had not said it out loud, and so he would, no matter his dislike for doing so.

Magic reached its peak not much later and then there was only shadow, bending to her will. And the pressure released as one. Shiera could not suppress a moan at the freeing sensation, but she needed her wits, to stay in control now at this most important part. Shadow had formed, but now the purpose she had shaped inside it had to be expressed within.

She closed her eyes as the process began, shadow, that was like water and yet not, like smoke and yet not, leaving her body. Tendrils shaped themselves into fingers, and hand, and arm, with a body soon to follow. Next to her, outside of the ring of glyphs, Naruto reacted, gasping as the air was suddenly driven from his body, and then audibly gritting his teeth against the sudden strain.

Last night she had established the connections between them, between him and her, between the shadow and herself, and between the shadow and him. A healthy adult with purpose and vitality could provide for one shadow familiar, though they would be drained for days afterwards, sometimes even weeks. Naruto was far from normal, but so would the familiar be, and she did not doubt that they would both need at least two days of rest after this.

Then instead of fingers there were claws, painfully gripping her flesh. They easily pierced her skin, drawing blood, and she had to fight to maintain her control over the whole process. Her eyes snapped open. Shiera gasped in equal parts surprise and pain as the vaguely human amalgam of shadows started pulling its way to the outside.

"."

She tried to ignore the pain and discomfort as best she could, but air would not enter her body, the breath stuck in her throat, and the pressure on her lower body was there again, if slightly different now.

"!"

Gulping down air became a battle as much as maintaining her control was, and her mind scrambled to keep up with everything that was happening. This was not how things normally went, far from it, but she would not let that ruin everything. Her eyes were open, yet Shiera did not truly see at the moment, too much light and yet none at all reaching her. She had to rely on feeling alone, on the movement of shadow as it passed out of her body and mingled with the pressure of the world.

Inch by inch she clawed herself back to control and sense and reality. The birthing was nearly complete, most of the familiar already in front of her, and sound and sight filtered in again with a snap.

"Shiera!" Naruto was shouting, had been shouting for a bit already she knew, even if she had not really heard, the panic clear in his voice. Her back was touching the floor, the billowing robe she was wearing opened and baring her to the world. Her head hurt, temples threatening to crush inwards, but she turned her head towards Naruto regardless.

For an instant he looked wild and feral, crimson not blue, but then everything was as it should again.

He was still outside of the circle of glyphs, but standing now, restless energy making him open and close his hands again and again while he stood glued to his spot on the floor, unable to pass the ring of symbols. The worry and fear in his blue eyes, a result, she realised, of both her state and lack of reaction before, abated slightly. Naruto turned towards the result of her actions, wariness and sharp clarity filling in for the concern directed at her.

Finally, the last of the shadow left Shiera, and all the tension and pressure and strain that had weighed on her, acknowledged or not, was released, leaving a dull throbbing in its place. That at least she could deal with far easier. Shiera struggled onto her forearms, lifting her upper body slightly, and took in the now fully formed shadow familiar.

Taller than Naruto, it stood near seven feet, though in place of feet there were only dark tendrils and curling smoke-like shadows creating the illusion of contact with the floor. Ordinarily she would have expected Naruto's visage reflected in the face, if warped and twisted, but this one looked more animal than wholly man.

Thin, bony limbs with great claws at the end, the tips still dripping her blood, could have served to cleave through even the best plate, rending steel as easily as they did flesh, but she had no need of that ability. The face was vulpine, the jaw and nose elongating slightly to change the shape of the head entirely, sharp teeth ready to rip and tear.

It saw her then, meeting her eyes with two pitch black pits of nothingness, where in Naruto she would have seen warmth, with steel and storm usually unseen underneath. It turned away again a moment later, remaining in place and inspecting the surrounding in room in a mimicry of curiosity.

Shiera realised then, that the purpose she had so carefully imparted was being entirely ignored. A force of will great enough for that, where there should be none at all? Vexing, in the kind of way she should have expected with this many unknowns involved.

Yet, she was not so easily subverted. Rallying what little energy and magic remained to her she focused on the connection between them. She had not erred in the shaping and forming, her purpose had been imparted, but that alone was not enough, it seemed.

A deep breath in, and Shiera pushed on that purpose through the connection, all the force of her will and the power she could bring to the effort being exerted. She was master of this art, and blood of Old Valyria. She was fire, and fire was power.

Even a powerful shadow would be forced to obey.

The necklace was on the floor in front, no more than a step away from the familiar, and the shadows began to bow to her will. They warped and shifted and then the being she had birthed was right above the dark gemstone, where the carefully inscribed version of the Valyrian glyphs and the chain of iron links made it recoil only to be unable to escape.

A hiss, like water dripping onto red-hot steel, sounded as the gemstone and shadows began bowing to her will and magic. Her creation fought her every step, clinging to its facsimile of freedom. Just as Shiera thought the task was beyond her, already too exhausted by the preceding events, she forced open a new well of strength and magic, unknown to her but vital all the same.

Sharp curved claws left deep furrows in the floor and an echoing howl split the air and then there was no more struggle, the opal darkening so much that looking inside suggested an impossible depth contained inside the gemstone. The part of her that had forbidden the shadow from passing beyond the circle of glyphs relaxed, as did every other part of her, now well and truly exhausted.

Shiera collapsed backwards but Naruto was already there to catch her, no longer impeded. She was drenched in sweat, near naked, bleeding from punctures in her legs, and struggling to breath, even the act of keeping her eyes open near too much to accomplish.

Safe, that is what she felt, as he gently cradled her in his arms, never breaking eye contact, even as her vision began to swim.

"Necklace," she spat out, before he could carry her somewhere else, her mouth as dry as the Dornish desert. Shiera closed her eyes, but she felt him lean down to do as she had asked before he pressed the cool chain into her hands.

Even to her exhausted self the power contained inside was obvious, though the true effect would only be clear once she was not so close to Naruto, and she relished the success.

A warm hand smoothed her hair back and she could not help but relax further.

Shiera knew what she felt in her heart. Love, how ridiculous. Yet she was neither blind nor too stubborn to admit it. She also knew that he felt the same, even if he had not necessarily realised it, much less admitted it to himself or her, yet.

Soon. Two days, three days at most. Enough time for them to recover and not a day more. Otherwise, she would not be able to bare it.

The harbour was pleasant in the early morning, the sun only just peeking over the horizon. At first Shiera had decided to simply send Naruto on his way to Braavos and then the North, a message for Aemon in hand. By the time he returned to Volantis months later she would simply be gone, no trace of her presence or message left behind for him to find.

Maybe that would have made all of this easier, but he deserved better. Even if he ended up not understanding her reasons, or even hating her, tricking him like that was the coward's way.

Shiera had already attempted to tell him two times, but the words would not come. When he had left the bedroom with all of his belongings efficiently secured to his person, instead of speaking she had gotten up and joined him. At the house's entrance she had simply continued walking with him, her tongue like a lead weight in her mouth.

Now they were nearing the ship that would take him west, towards Lys, and then north to Pentos and eventually Braavos. From there he would have to find passage to White Harbour or Eastwatch-by-the-Sea on his own, before making the remaining trip to Castle Black over land. It was also her last opportunity to say her piece, one that she would not waste.

Merchant vessels tended to leave for the water as early as possible, so that they could make as much headway on their journey during the daytime as possible. Accordingly, the harbour was already a busy place, grumbling sailors and deckhands making the last necessary preparations for casting off.

They stopped a few yards from the ship, enough distance remaining to give them the privacy she wanted from curious sailor ears.

"When you return to Volantis, I will no longer be here," she said, for a lack of a more graceful way to start. Naruto was clearly confused by her words, to him it must all seem terribly sudden. Her glamour was in place, though she had decided against the mask, but there was no question that he was looking right through it at the moment. Just another shield, just another lie.

"What do you m—" Shiera hushed him by laying a finger on his lips before he could finish. If she allowed him to talk before she had said her piece, she would only waver.

"We, what we have right now, it will not be. It cannot be." His confusion was rapidly shifting into tension now, the smile falling from his lips. She moved her hand to his cheek and tried her best to show only resolve. "When you have delivered my message, stay in Westeros. Find a lord to serve, find a wife to love and to give you children. Make a life for yourself there. Forget about me and never look back. Promise me."

If she would have still been capable of bearing children by this time ordinarily, Shiera did not know, but it was doubtful. When her mother had invoked blood and sorcery during the pregnancy, Shiera had been changed, but knowing all of the effects of that was impossible. In any case, she had sacrificed her ability to birth new life decades ago, far more interested in achieving the last steps of shadowbinding than personally continuing her line. Everything had a price, and no womb could foster both life and shadow.

Shiera knew very well of Naruto's dreams and wishes in that regard. That, she could not give him.

Naruto's brow creased, the stubborn set of his jaw entirely expected, as were his words. "I don't care about that." A lie, an obvious one to boot, and they both knew it. But perhaps Naruto really was stubborn enough to convince himself that it was the truth.

"You do," she countered.

For a few moments he was silent and then he spoke again, as stubborn as before.

"I still won't."

"You will," Shiera insisted. Naruto was young, not even finished with his second decade. He would find someone else. Perhaps, had she met Naruto in her youth, things could have been different between them. But they had not, and so they were not.

When Brynden had proposed marriage to her half a dozen times, she had rejected him every time without fail, finding amusement in his more and more desperate attempts at persuading her. There had been times she had regretted that decision afterwards, but the past was already written, the ink dry. Regret would not change what had transpired back then.

Naruto's eyes searched her own and she had to resist the instinct to look away in an attempt to stop herself from getting lost in them. Oh, how she wanted to. But she could not show that. If he knew the truth, Naruto would never submit.

"In twenty, thirty years, things may be different, but until then we have different paths to walk," Shiera said, wavering. She knew that opening that crack was foolish, but she did so any way. Who could know how things would be, then. Perhaps she would be an old woman by then, her youth suddenly as fleeting as it was for everyone else, and he would not look at her twice.

"Why?"

"Because it must be that way," she said in answer.

"How can you know that?" Naruto bit out, frustrated with her words.

"I have seen it. My dreams do not lie. It is our fate to be separated," Shiera admitted to him.

A muscle in Naruto's jaw jumped and his neck flexed. "Fuck fate." For the first time since the pirates had attacked them on their way to Volantis, genuine anger was leaking into his tone. For an instance his eyes changed to resemble a cat's, the black centre moving from round to slit and back to round.

He had an animal's wildness to him then, like a caged beast furious at its confinement, and the comparison to the being sealed away inside him was reflexive. Shiera felt no less safe in his presence. Naruto would not harm her, she was convinced, though perhaps things would have been easier if he would. She could have claimed fear then, for her safety and life, for her future and with it the world, but she could not.

If he had been less capable or less trustworthy, she could have discarded him without batting an eye. With some regret for the resource lost, perhaps, but discarded, nonetheless. She would have moved on, never looking back.

But he had been good to her, gentle despite his strength and abilities, and there, when no one else was.

"You do not understand." Shiera shook her head and dropped her hand from his face. This she had also expected. Maybe without seeing it himself, he was incapable of understanding. "I need your word either way. I need your promise, now. Deliver my message to Aemon and don't come looking for me," she said, insisting on her stance.

Naruto clenched both fists and she could hear the way he was gritting his teeth. He looked to be in physical pain, like he was fighting himself for control. She wanted to stop all this, but she remained firm, she had to. Any single person's wishes inevitably bowed beneath the weight of the world. "I promise."

Tension left her in a flood, the most important part finally over with. He would keep that promise, if it meant fighting the gods. Before she could fully relax Naruto continued, quieter, sombre. The anger and frustration having left him in a rush.

"Was it real, any of it? For you?" It felt like a knife to the heart, but she let nothing show. This was an opportunity, nothing more. She needed to exploit it to the fullest. Naruto was apt at reading facial expressions and intent. If he caught her in a lie now, everything collapsed. If she avoided his eyes, he would know if she stayed silent, he would know. If she convinced him, everything would fall into place.

'Say it.' Say it now and it would be over. It was just one word, just one more little lie told for the good of the world. What was one word like that truly worth? Less than nothing.

Why then, did it feel like she was stepping off a cliff?

Shiera hardened her heart and answered.

"No." Yes.

Naruto only twitched, his expression blank and unfeeling except for the downward tilt of his lips.

"At any point?"

'Just get it out.' No grimaces, no tension, no stalling. Even, controlled, simple. A horrible lie. Just one word.

"Never."

He dropped his head and turned away, his hands slowly clenching and unclenching in time with his breaths. She wanted to collapse right then and there, but the facade remained. Control, it was all about control.

Slowly he took the first step towards the ship and away from her. If certain things had to be, why did they have to make her feel this way.

Naruto stopped, head raised to the cloudless sky and the few stars bright enough to still be visible with the sun continuing to rise. "You know, I really hate people that lie to themselves." Without another word he continued walking, never looking back.

The moment she went from inside the fifteen-foot radius around him to outside should have been felt. It should have been significant. Yet the necklace around her neck prevented even that impact, and for a blinding moment Shiera wanted to fling it into the bay, consequences be damned.

She watched him climb on deck, and then she watched the ship leave for open water from the same spot. A cold wind blew towards the city, making her shiver, and the sea breeze had nothing comforting about it now. Shiera paid the salty raindrop running down her cheek no mind.

There was a dragon egg waiting for her.

I hope you enjoyed chapter 19. Next week will be chapter 20, and with that the last one for this part of the story.

It is implied in Davos II ACOK that Melisandre used sexual intercourse with Stannis to birth the shadow assassins that kill Renly and Cortnay Penrose. If that is the only way to do it, we don't know from the books, but I imagine that there could be others.

A few hints of backstory for Shiera in here again. I'm not sure if I will ever make everything about that clear, since it has little relevance to the story beyond those details I have already written about.

This will be the last Shiera chapter for a while, I think. I had been planning for something like this to happen for a long time now, near the time I decided to even include her in the story, but writing her and Naruto together has been pretty fun for me, and I debated throwing my plans out and just going with them doing things together from here on out. There might be a few disconnected chapter from her PoV in the next part, but her larger part in the plot won't begin again until the canon time, where she returns as Quaithe.

I want to make it clear, Shiera truly believes that this is the only way for dragons to be born.

Prophecy is a tricky subject in fiction, whether literal, like the Azor Ahai story, or more indirect, like the dragon dreams and visions of the future, and one I tried to touch on in chapter 9. Knowledge of that kind is basically a curse. You see things/know things you shouldn't, and nobody else really understands or believes you. That can drive you insane pretty quickly, or make you do things that are unwise/painful/dangerous. Insert Thanos: "You're not the only one cursed with knowledge." here.

Naruto of course, sees things differently. But he also doesn't want to fight with Shiera and he knows she isn't just playing. That will be relevant next chapter.

The Elder Toad gives Naruto a few predictions of the future as well, about B and Sasuke, and then gives him the key to his seal. He goes along with that easily enough at the time, but there is nothing in there he particularly disagrees with. In basic terms prophecy/fate/destiny is a point of contention for him when he disagrees with them. Then he fights and rages and argues.

Naruto is the child of prophecy, in Jiraiya's mind, who goes through a similar experience as Rhaegar, switching from who he views to be that person, Nagato then Minato then Naruto.

On the point of the comparison to Brynden last chapter. Remember, as far as she knows, Brynden is dead, and has been for a while now. They also hadn't seen each other for decades before that. I intended it to be an off-hand comment, slightly humorous to her, and of no particular relevance. Simply pointing out the parallels Shiera sees. Some people seem to have taken it differently.

As always thanks for reading and reviewing. Until next time.