Title: Sign, Symbol, Token, Chapter 22 - The Waiting Begins
By: PepperjackCandy
Rating: PG13 (up to "second base" explicit, beyond that implied)
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing them for
a time.
Warning: This is a slash story (Harry/Draco), though romantically-slashy, rather
than erotically-slashy. Hence the PG-13 rating.
A/N: Oh, look! Plot with a side order of Angst!
===========
After he'd claimed the Marauders' Map from his trunk, Harry avoided the Gryffindor
Tower, and all of the Gryffindors, for the rest of the night. Instead, he wandered
the hallways, knowing that to protect Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Draco,
he'd die a thousand times. Especially, always, Draco. He cursed himself over
and over for not assuring Draco of his love. But he'd always assumed that Draco
*knew* that he loved him, so he never felt the need to express it in words.
Even though he could see on the map that it'd be empty, he still had to go to
their room in the Astronomy Tower, where they'd spent so many hours working,
talking and snogging. He'd hoped to see Draco there, but the room remained as
empty as if no one had ever been in there at all.
There were, of course, no classes the next day, so Harry didn't worry about
his level of exhaustion. He was running on adrenaline anyhow, so he couldn't
feel anything but the familiar fight-or-flight sensation of the hormone running
through his system.
He stood in the window watching as the carriages took the majority of the student
body to Hogsmeade to catch the Hogwarts Express back to London.
And again when a smaller caravan of carriages took the majority of the faculty
and the other students who should be staying at the school in to Hogsmeade to
spend the rest of the break. Or at least until whatever would come, would come.
Finally, satisfied that he, Snape and Dumbledore were the only humans left in
the castle, he returned to the Great Hall. His footsteps echoed hollowly in
the stone room, reverberating from the walls all the way up to the ceiling,
which was the same slate gray as the clouds overhead outside the castle.
At last, he heard footsteps behind him. Who is it? Snape? Dumbledore? It
can't be Voldemort. I'd feel it if it was.
"Hi." A familiar voice said.
He turned so quickly he had a dizzy spell. "Draco! What the hell are you doing
here? You've got to leave! Now! Before your father . . ."
Draco held out a piece of paper. "I'm here on my father's orders. I don't know
why the Dark Lord needs me here . . ."
Harry took the slip of paper. There in Lucius Malfoy's familiar, spidery handwriting
was written, Good. You must take the ruby and destroy it completely. Do *not*
come home for break. The Dark Lord needs you at Hogwarts.
"And?" Harry asked. His eyes were filled with fear.
"So, Dumbledore's letting me stay, and we destroyed the ruby this morning. There's
another thing, too. They don't know how long we've been *working* together."
Harry wondered why the strange accent on the word 'working,' until he saw, Ron,
Hermione, Ginny and Neville step into the Great Hall. His worst fear, his greatest
hope, all in one. "No," he whispered, then stated it again more loudly. "No.
You can't be here. You've got to go home. I won't be responsible if something
. . ." He choked on the words.
"We aren't going." Hermione said flatly. "Dumbledore tried to convince us to
go, but he couldn't. The only thing he could do was to tell Hagrid to carry
us physically back to Hogsmeade."
"So, why are you still here? Why didn't Hagrid take you? Is he still getting
packed for his own stay in Hogsmeade?"
"No." Hermione shook her head. "Hagrid refused to take us, because he's staying,
too."
"So, is he going to turn up out of the woodwork, too?" Harry snapped, growing
increasingly uncomfortable by this display of affection from everyone he loved.
"And who's going to turn up next? Fleur?" He ignored the brief flicker of pain
in Draco's eyes when he mentioned the name of his ex-girlfriend.
Hermione snorted. "Of course not. Don't be silly. We're using the Gryffindor
common room as our base. Some people," she looked pointedly at Draco, "wanted
to use the Slytherin common room, but since we outnumber them seven to two .
. ." She grinned.
Oh, God. There should only be three people here, and instead, there are nine?
What do I do about this? Six people who should be safely away from here are
going to be in danger because of me.
As if she'd read his mind, Hermione said, "We're here because we care about
you, Harry, but we *want* to be here. If you blame yourself for something happening
to one of us, we'll come back and haunt you, like Moaning Myrtle." She grinned.
Harry had to laugh a little. "Heavens, anything but that."
Harry walked towards his friends. As he passed Draco, he paused, desperate to
take Draco into their group, but fearful that they'd reject Draco and cause
even more tension than there was going to be anyhow.
Draco solved Harry's dilemma by mumbling, "I'll see you guys in the common room,"
and hurrying into the corridor
Harry let himself be borne along by his friends until they returned to the Gryffindor
common room, where Draco, Dumbledore, Hagrid and Snape were all waiting for
them to return. Draco and Snape were deep in conversation as they leafed through
a stack of books on the table between them.
"Ah, there you are, Harry!" Dumbledore smiled at him as if Harry had come back
from the restroom, rather than from a night of panic-stricken wandering. "Would
you like something to eat?" He indicated an array of cold sandwiches set out
on a side table.
"No thank you, Professor Dumbledore." Harry yawned. "I didn't sleep all night.
I'd better get some rest so that I'm ready to face Voldemort whenever he arrives."
Harry mounted the steps to his room when he heard Hagrid's voice calling out,
"Harry! Wait for me! I need to talk to you about something!"
Harry slowed down, but didn't stop for his friend. Hagrid caught up to him easily
and the pair walked the rest of the way to Harry's room in silence.
"So," Harry asked, no small amount of bitterness in his tone. "What do you need
to talk to me about?"
"It's about Malfoy. I hate to have to admit it, but he really does love you.
Do you know where he was all night?"
"No. And I don't know if I have the right to wonder anymore, since I'm about
to die at Voldemort's hands."
"He was in my cottage," Hagrid informed him simply. "Crying his eyes out because
the man he loves might be about to die, and there's nothing he can do about
it."
This affected Harry like a punch to the stomach. He even grunted aloud as the
import of Hagrid's words hit him.
"What do you want me to do about it?" Harry asked.
"Mend the break between you. Tell him you love him."
"I can't, Hagrid. Don't you see? No matter how much I love him, it won't be
enough to protect him if Voldemort realizes just how much I love him."
Hagrid was wise enough to know not to push it. "All right, Harry." He assented.
"Do it your way, but if you *do* die this week, not knowing that you love him
won't stop him from mourning you for a long, long time. Possibly the rest of
his life."
With that, Hagrid left the room, and soon after, deep, dreamless sleep swamped
Harry, pulling him downwards into a place where his worries could no longer
reach him.
Harry was awakened several hours later by Ron. "Harry, wake up. It's time for
supper."
Harry sat up, straightening out his glasses and running a hand through his tousled
hair as he yawned. "Well, I guess it'd be kind of counterproductive to be plotting
against Voldemort and then die of starvation before he can get to me." He joked
weakly.
The house elves had bought some new cookbooks and the few who stayed on, including
Dobby, were using the nine Hogwarts residents as test subjects for their new
recipes. Tonight's dinner was out of an Italian cookbook - veal picatta, aubergine
parmagiana, and spaghetti Vesuvio were the main courses available, with an assortment
of cold sliced meats and bread slices for appetizer.
The food was excellent, and everyone heartily approved. All except Harry, who
only ate enough veal and spaghetti to take away the little bit of hunger he
felt and then pushed himself away from the table.
"Mr. Malfoy and I've been working on defensive tactics to take with the Dark
Lord," Snape informed the others while they were eating. "We have several charms
and potions in mind that might just be helpful."
Hermione, Ron and Neville pursed their lips. You could almost see their doubts
about Snape and Draco hanging above their heads like thought bubbles in a comic
strip.
"Thank you, Severus." Dumbledore leapt into the silence that followed Snape's
announcement. "I know we'll all be interested to hear what you've come up with."
Harry glanced briefly at Draco, who was staring right into Harry's green eyes.
He wanted to stop the discussion right there, at least long enough to confess
his love for Draco, but Snape followed Dumbledore's offer with a dissertation
on each of the charms and potions that he and Draco had come up with.
Harry listened impassively to lists of invulnerability charms, invisibility
potions, and omnipotence charms, but none of these answered his main question.
"How much warning will I have when Voldemort strikes?" He asked.
This stopped Snape cold. Everyone looked at Dumbledore, who merely shrugged.
"It depends. If he decides tonight that he's going to attack tomorrow, you'll
feel the pain in your scar hours before he actually Apparates into the castle.
But if he decides on, say, Wednesday, that now's as good a time as any, he'll
be here before the pain stops."
"That's comforting," Ron whispered to Hermione, but in the silence that followed
Dumbledore's announcement, it carried as if he'd shouted it.
The room grew silent again, the only sound the crackling of the fire in the
fireplace. Harry scanned the faces of his friends, realizing once again how
fortunate he was to have so many friends who were so true to him. And what
about you? a voice in the back of his mind taunted. Are you true to them?
Are you doing them a service or a disservice by keeping your love for Draco
a secret?
Harry told that voice to shut up. He knew that his love for Draco had to stay
a secret until Draco was safe once and for all from his father. Really?
The voice responded, You have to keep it a secret from your best friends?
Especially since only three people in the room are ignorant of your relationship
with Draco?
Harry realized that the voice was right. Ginny, Dumbledore, Snape, Hagrid and
Draco already knew about their relationship. And he needed to tell Draco that
he loved him. If Hermione, Ron and Neville couldn't handle the news, then they
must not be the good friends they seemed to be . . .
Harry fell over in a faint as the worst pain he'd ever felt hit his scar.