The Falling Rain, A Dreamless Sleep
By Vapor
Masaharu Ishida walked
down the street so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the cold rain
that poured out of the November night sky. As much as he tried he couldn't make
sense of any of his thoughts. He tried to remember when he and his son had
stopped talking to each other to the point where they were basically strangers
sharing the same home. He couldn't remember.
Sighing he turned the corner and walked down another street it
didn't matter which one, he'd stopped caring. Today had been the one day he had
off all week, and to his surprise his son's busy schedule had slowed down
enough for them to spend some it together. The day had started off normal
enough, just the two of them lying around the house watching T.V. and doing
nothing in particular. The talk had ranged from little to none, but the day had
been enjoyable enough. That is until
his son had told him that he had something he wanted to tell him, something
serious.
They had been watching T.V. when he
quietly asked if they could talk. Masaharu, confident that his son could tell
him anything, had shut off the T.V. to listen to his son.
Masaharu
squeezed his eyes shut. "Dad…" But I didn't know. How could I
have known what he was going to say? Light how do you deal with
something like that? He wouldn't, couldn't believe that his son was telling
the truth. "Dad, I need to tell you something, something really
important..." He couldn't— "Dad I need to tell you…" He— "Need
to tell you that…" Couldn't— "That I'm gay." A simple
sentence really, not that big, but one that shattered many of his hopes and
dreams of the future.
Masaharu
looked up and saw that he had stopped walking and that the rain had slowed down
to a soft drizzle. He stood alone at a bus stop except for a young girl sitting
on a bench. The girl looked up at him with serene deep green eyes, eyes that
almost seemed to look right through him.
"Hello,"
Her voice was deep like her eyes but it held a musical quality of someone who
loved to sing and could do it well. She tilted her head and looked at him
quizzically. "Are you ok? The rain is beautiful this time of year but you
really shouldn't be walking in it if you're sick." The smile she gave him had a
practiced kindness to it; like she wanted to be friends with everyone she
talked to, everyone she met.
"I'm fine,"
He said curtly just wanting to be rid of her. But instead of taking the hint
she only smiled at him all the more and motioned for him to sit down.
"Well then
if you're not sick then you must have something on your mind that's troubling
you," her voice had a patient kindness to it, "I've learned that talking to
people helps. You can talk to me if you want, I'll listen and help you if I
can." She smiled again and he found himself sitting despite his earlier
feelings.
"I don't
want to talk about it," He told her wearily.
"Hmm… Then
maybe will you listen?" He nodded, she had given him such a look of hope that
he couldn't have walked away if he'd wanted to. She smiled again. " Do you have any kids?" He blinked, the
question had come out of the blue but it had hit so close to home that he
couldn't help but stare for a few minuets. He cleared his throat.
"Yes, two
sons: Takeru and Yamato," He hesitated then added, "TK's younger but Yamato's
about your age." She nodded sagely.
"You must
love them very much. Are you very close to them?" He looked down.
"I'm not
very close to TK but Matt…" He trailed off not being able to finish that
sentence, not being able to think about it. She smiled again, the gentle smile
of someone who knows what you're feeling and what you're going to say before
you even think of saying it.
"My dad and
I," she said softly, her eyes gazing off somewhere he could never see, "we were
very close once, as close as a father and daughter can get, I think. But the
years are hard, and time pulled us apart. Now we're practically strangers,
though we still love each other we barely talk." That smile of hers slipped,
and for a second her saw a girl who was so lonely that she reached out to
anyone she could, including a stranger standing out in the rain. "Isn't it
strange how parents are always there for you? Whenever you need them they're
there to fight the monsters and bandage up the cuts and bruises." Her smile was
back again, but her eyes he saw now had a sad lifelessness to them that hadn't
changed since she'd first looked up at him. "They're always there to listen,"
she whispered, "And they'll always understand," Abruptly she broke off looking
down at her hands which she had gently laid on her stomach. "I've always
thought that," she said gazing at him, through him, "at least until tonight."
Her eyes
focused again and she saw his questioning look. Sighing she looked back down at
her hands.
"I've always been kind to my dad, never disobeyed
him. And my dad's always been there for me, he made sure I was provided for,"
she sighed again, "But I was a fool, and I got into some trouble. I had to tell
him…" she choked, "tell him that I'm pregnant…" Her sadness grew until it was
practically dimming the air around her. Masaharu was silent; it was too close
to the situation he and his son were in. Abruptly she laughed bitterly, "You
know, I really did expect him to be there for me this time. It's funny how
parents are always there for you, always there until you really need them," she
whispered softly, then she looked up and said, "You know that's when we need
you the most, when it's the hardest thing for you to hear. That's when your
words make all the difference because that's when we need you the most." He
opened his mouth but no words came out.
Suddenly
she looked at him and smiled. She stood up as a bus pulled up. "Remember
that. If it hurts you to hear it, then
it hurts us to tell it." Still smiling she stepped out into the road, right in
front of the bus. After that things didn't fit together right. One minute she
was smiling at him; the next he was cradling her broken body screaming for help
that was already too late. Her last words before the bus hit her rang in his
head. A dreamless sleep daddy; a place where my baby and me are wanted.
He vaguely remembered talking to the police and watching her body being taken
away. I didn't even know her name. He suddenly realized that he'd made a
horrible mistake. He had to get home, had to talk to Yamato before it was too
late.
He hailed a
taxi all the time thinking that everything was going too slow, wanting to move
faster. He got home and ran to the elevator. It's not quick enough,
anytime's too long. He got out and opened their door.
"Yamato?"
The silence was deafening, almost alive. He walked to Yamato's room, quietly
opening the door. "Yamato?" He was lying on his bed sleeping. Masaharu walked
over to him and reached out to shake him awake. But stopped short, Matt wasn't
breathing. "Yamato?! MATT!?" A bottle of sleeping pills lay empty on the floor,
fifty at least. Yamato's skin had long been cold.
Masaharu
sat down on the bed smoothing back his son's hair. Outside the rain kept
falling, and inside he watched his son's dreamless sleep.
-The End-
I know that some
parts were hard to understand. (There had to be some because I
didn't even understand some parts.) But I would really appreciate it if you
reviewed, I don't even care if it's to flame me. I talk to flamers. Hell I am
a flamer! Yes I am The Mad Flamer That Flames At Midnight! *Insane laughter
that dies in a fit of coughing* Ok time to take my pills…remember to review…
