There were only a few pages more to read. He stopped before continuing. No doubt her hardships were not portrayed in this little diary... setting it down on the bed he looked around the room. Several things he wanted to pack for her... he still couldn't believe she was moving for good this time. A smile crawled onto his lips... the teddy bear from Heero had to go, and the hairbrush and from Duo... The stuffed lion from Trowa... And Quatre's heart. With her gone... a part of him will go as well, he knew that. She stopped being his little girl a long time ago... but this was just the final step to womanhood. Damn it all. If time could just stop right here, right now... It would be unfair of him to try and keep her here. She would be in good hands.
He hugged the small teddy bear from Heero. This little bear carried many tales, too. More so than the diary. Heero had given it to her when they... when Duo found her. She left alright. Quatre's fingers curled into the tender bear... To face the world on her own. She was only a child - what was she thinking? Quatre sighed, dropping back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around himself over the plushy toy.
'She was thinking of me,' he thought solemnly. 'She loved me, and I pushed her away.' She told him it wasn't his fault. Trowa told him it wasn't his fault. Quatre didn't know what the little girl felt... He didn't even know her that day he tossed her aside. Like she was less than human. The things people do to one another is what made up the world. He knew... that he couldn't take the blame. He shouldn't. But there was nowhere else it could go. It could not be forgotten. Quatre wouldn't let that happen. She had been forgotten enough times... The only way he could keep the memory alive and burning was to hate himself. Trowa was there to keep it from dragging him down too far... and she was there. But now she will be gone.
Trowa will be good company. And she will visit. But it wouldn't be the same. It will never be the same. It was just like when she returned to them.
Quatre didn't know each and every solitary moment of her life after she left. To be honest, he hadn't noticed she was gone. Trowa and himself made up over the course of several days... and Trowa explained his nightmares, and then the nights were led to rest. Well, except those certain nights when -- well, they were only human. It was funny though, when he looked back on it. For that one sleepless night he endured... the first night they had slept together had been remarkably painful. Trowa made it up with many more sleepless nights that weren't soon forgotten. Quatre grinned as his cheeks grew red. He started to giggle, and kick his legs up like a schoolgirl. He mouthed an "Oh my" and calmed down. Quatre had been in the middle of something.
He looked down at the one-eyed bear. She had been on the streets... maybe for a little less than a year. But there were some sick people out there. Quatre growled at the thought of anyone even thinking of touching his little girl. Especially when she was a little girl. His stomach grew tight and began the second spin cycle. Duo was the one who found her.
~flashback...several months after her departure~
"C'mooon Heero let's go do something!!" Duo jumped and squealed around the breakfast table. It would seem the seventh cup of coffee had kicked in. Heero just continued with his waffles. "We've been cooped up in here, let's go shopping! Yeah! This colony's nice and ripe for the pickin'..." Heero glanced up and swallowed as he saw Duo rubbing his hands together maniacally. "Hey you forget I'm from L2 right? Can't get the kinda stuff here there, y'know." Heero cocked an eyebrow as if considering the fact... the Japanese had to agree with that one. He nodded. There was a group sigh of relief from the other occupants at the table inclusive of all the other former Gundam pilots.
Quatre looked over and Trowa beside him, and muttered, "Do you think after some shopping Duo might calm down?" ... Trowa looked at him. "No, no I guess not. Never has before." Trowa simply nodded, and looked over the morning paper.
"You workin' today Quatre?" Quatre nodded. "I suppose Troooowa's going with you, huuuh?" Trowa choked down another sip of cappuccino. Quatre did not like being winked and nudged at, either. He was thankful when Heero stood up from the table to imply that it was time to go. Wufei, who was uncharacteristically unscolding the entire time of the American's antics, spoke up.
"And don't bring him back until he's calmed down, Heero," Duo made a face and Heero half-smirked. Wufei knew that Heero had his ways of tiring Duo out. He didn't want to think about them while he was eating. He looked down at the sausage on his fork. Too late. ... He delicately pushed the plate aside.