Part Six
Buffy sighed as she regarded her empty bed. Yes it had been a year,
but she didn't think that she'd ever get used to life without Riley
in it. She'd loved him, and she missed him. True, Angel had always
had a more prominent place in her heart, but she'd done her best
never to let Riley know that. She knew he'd worried occasionally the
first couple of years. But eventually, he'd learned to trust in them,
to her relief. And they'd had a wonderful marriage, a happy marriage.
Twenty years. Buffy was nearly forty. She remembered that once upon a
time she'd been thrilled to reach eighteen. Now she was realizing she
was way too old to play Slayer anymore.
Buffy and Angel were patrolling together. She teased him, "You
never take me any place new."
"What about that fire demon nest in the cave by the beach?" Angel
asked with a smile. "I felt that was a nice change of pace."
"So this is our future?" she asked, half-jokingly. "This is how we're
going to spend our nights when I'm fifty and you're ... the same age
you are now?"
They both turned as they heard a growl nearby.
"Let's just get you to fifty," Angel suggested.
"Liking that plan," Buffy agreed, as they turned to face the demon.
"Yeah, because I need those memories," Buffy said. "How about a
replacement-Slayer instead? Wouldn't that be nice? Hasn't Buffy
played nice for the past twenty-some years? Retirement wouldn't be a
bad thing about now. And I don't mean of the permanent kind."
She stripped her jeans and t-shirt and pulled on a white t-shirt and
boxer shorts, crawling into her bed. She hugged a pillow against her,
trying to compensate for the lack of a body to hold her. And finally,
she let the tears come, not needing to be brave for anyone any longer
that evening.
"I'm trying to do what's right here, okay?" Angel said. "I'm trying
to think with my head instead of my heart."
"Heart?" she questioned in disbelief. "You have a heart? It isn't
even beating!" She regretted the words when she uttered them, but
with her own heart breaking, she felt the need to make his break too.
"Don't," Angel pleaded.
"Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry, you know what? I didn't know
that I got a _choice_ in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't
change. I want my life to be with you," Buffy looked at him, hoping
for something to change in this discussion. Hoping this wasn't the
end of it all.
"I don't," Angel said.
She looked at him in shock for a moment. "You don't want to be with
me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me."
"Stop it, Buffy!" she ordered herself. "You've lived a perfectly
wonderful life for twenty years, you're just upset because Giles
brought him up. It's time to sleep and you won't remember him
tomorrow."
Eventually she drifted off into a fitful sleep.
********
Saturday
12 am
Angel finally got out of bed, and started getting dressed. He'd
drifted off to sleep several times, but had only dreamt of her. He
got the hint finally, and gave up on sleep.
He pulled on his black leather pants, and a black button-down shirt.
He looked over at his clock. It was only midnight. He'd get to
Sunnydale at three at the latest. "Fine, I'll just watch the
sunrise," he said with a shrug. "I can't stay here, it will drive me
insane!"
He felt a moment of indecision as he started his car, but pushed it
away. Cordelia was right. No matter what happened, this was one of
those things he had to do. He'd never be at peace if he didn't. And
if he kept telling himself that, he may get to Sunnydale with a
minimum of turn-backs.
Three hours later, he hit the Sunnydale City Limits, and remembered
what it was like to nearly hyperventilate. He pulled into the parking
lot of a gas station, and willed himself to calm down. "Stop acting
like a child," he told himself. "A nearly three hundred year old
child," he added with a sigh. "Time to find a hotel room. Something
tells me this isn't going to be easy. But nothing worth it ever is."
***********
Buffy jolted awake. She didn't have the slightest idea why, and was
incredibly irritated when she saw it was three a.m. "Dammit, I'm not
amused!" she yelled at whatever unseen force had awakened her.
She tossed and turned for several moments before giving up. "Fine,"
she sighed. She pulled on a black tank top and black spandex
pants. "Something, or several somethings, are going to suffer for my
insomnia," she muttered, before leaving to Patrol.
*********
Angel found a hotel room, and checked in. He felt restless though, so
decided to go for a walk. Not having a death wish, he armed himself
with a couple of stakes and a dagger. "This should be interesting,"
he mused. "Could be dangerous, too. Wouldn't it be funny if I died
the night I'd come back to Sunnydale to tell Buffy I was human and
wanted her back?" He paused and frowned. It had been funnier in his
head.
He stepped outside, and started walking, choosing a direction
randomly. Discovery number one was that his night-sight was much less
powerful now. It was a full moon luckily though, so even in the areas
without street lights he had only a little trouble seeing.
Discovery number two was that his sense for Buffy didn't disappear
with his humanity. That didn't surprise him very much. She was a part
of him, whether either of them liked it or not. She'd made him
believe in the concept of soulmates. That had made it hurt all the
more, though, when he'd had to leave.
Angel stopped in his tracks as his "Buffy-sense" went haywire. She
was close. He wondered what she was doing out so late, when she
should be home and in bed by now. Part of him wanted to run away, hop in his
car, and never come back. The other part of him, however, was too afraid of
Cordelia to do something so cowardly. So he stood, and waited for Buffy
to find him. He had the feeling that she would do just that.
*********
Buffy sighed as she regarded her empty bed. Yes it had been a year,
but she didn't think that she'd ever get used to life without Riley
in it. She'd loved him, and she missed him. True, Angel had always
had a more prominent place in her heart, but she'd done her best
never to let Riley know that. She knew he'd worried occasionally the
first couple of years. But eventually, he'd learned to trust in them,
to her relief. And they'd had a wonderful marriage, a happy marriage.
Twenty years. Buffy was nearly forty. She remembered that once upon a
time she'd been thrilled to reach eighteen. Now she was realizing she
was way too old to play Slayer anymore.
Buffy and Angel were patrolling together. She teased him, "You
never take me any place new."
"What about that fire demon nest in the cave by the beach?" Angel
asked with a smile. "I felt that was a nice change of pace."
"So this is our future?" she asked, half-jokingly. "This is how we're
going to spend our nights when I'm fifty and you're ... the same age
you are now?"
They both turned as they heard a growl nearby.
"Let's just get you to fifty," Angel suggested.
"Liking that plan," Buffy agreed, as they turned to face the demon.
"Yeah, because I need those memories," Buffy said. "How about a
replacement-Slayer instead? Wouldn't that be nice? Hasn't Buffy
played nice for the past twenty-some years? Retirement wouldn't be a
bad thing about now. And I don't mean of the permanent kind."
She stripped her jeans and t-shirt and pulled on a white t-shirt and
boxer shorts, crawling into her bed. She hugged a pillow against her,
trying to compensate for the lack of a body to hold her. And finally,
she let the tears come, not needing to be brave for anyone any longer
that evening.
"I'm trying to do what's right here, okay?" Angel said. "I'm trying
to think with my head instead of my heart."
"Heart?" she questioned in disbelief. "You have a heart? It isn't
even beating!" She regretted the words when she uttered them, but
with her own heart breaking, she felt the need to make his break too.
"Don't," Angel pleaded.
"Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry, you know what? I didn't know
that I got a _choice_ in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't
change. I want my life to be with you," Buffy looked at him, hoping
for something to change in this discussion. Hoping this wasn't the
end of it all.
"I don't," Angel said.
She looked at him in shock for a moment. "You don't want to be with
me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me."
"Stop it, Buffy!" she ordered herself. "You've lived a perfectly
wonderful life for twenty years, you're just upset because Giles
brought him up. It's time to sleep and you won't remember him
tomorrow."
Eventually she drifted off into a fitful sleep.
********
Saturday
12 am
Angel finally got out of bed, and started getting dressed. He'd
drifted off to sleep several times, but had only dreamt of her. He
got the hint finally, and gave up on sleep.
He pulled on his black leather pants, and a black button-down shirt.
He looked over at his clock. It was only midnight. He'd get to
Sunnydale at three at the latest. "Fine, I'll just watch the
sunrise," he said with a shrug. "I can't stay here, it will drive me
insane!"
He felt a moment of indecision as he started his car, but pushed it
away. Cordelia was right. No matter what happened, this was one of
those things he had to do. He'd never be at peace if he didn't. And
if he kept telling himself that, he may get to Sunnydale with a
minimum of turn-backs.
Three hours later, he hit the Sunnydale City Limits, and remembered
what it was like to nearly hyperventilate. He pulled into the parking
lot of a gas station, and willed himself to calm down. "Stop acting
like a child," he told himself. "A nearly three hundred year old
child," he added with a sigh. "Time to find a hotel room. Something
tells me this isn't going to be easy. But nothing worth it ever is."
***********
Buffy jolted awake. She didn't have the slightest idea why, and was
incredibly irritated when she saw it was three a.m. "Dammit, I'm not
amused!" she yelled at whatever unseen force had awakened her.
She tossed and turned for several moments before giving up. "Fine,"
she sighed. She pulled on a black tank top and black spandex
pants. "Something, or several somethings, are going to suffer for my
insomnia," she muttered, before leaving to Patrol.
*********
Angel found a hotel room, and checked in. He felt restless though, so
decided to go for a walk. Not having a death wish, he armed himself
with a couple of stakes and a dagger. "This should be interesting,"
he mused. "Could be dangerous, too. Wouldn't it be funny if I died
the night I'd come back to Sunnydale to tell Buffy I was human and
wanted her back?" He paused and frowned. It had been funnier in his
head.
He stepped outside, and started walking, choosing a direction
randomly. Discovery number one was that his night-sight was much less
powerful now. It was a full moon luckily though, so even in the areas
without street lights he had only a little trouble seeing.
Discovery number two was that his sense for Buffy didn't disappear
with his humanity. That didn't surprise him very much. She was a part
of him, whether either of them liked it or not. She'd made him
believe in the concept of soulmates. That had made it hurt all the
more, though, when he'd had to leave.
Angel stopped in his tracks as his "Buffy-sense" went haywire. She
was close. He wondered what she was doing out so late, when she
should be home and in bed by now. Part of him wanted to run away, hop in his
car, and never come back. The other part of him, however, was too afraid of
Cordelia to do something so cowardly. So he stood, and waited for Buffy
to find him. He had the feeling that she would do just that.
*********