Part Eight
Angel managed catch Buffy as she fell to the ground,
unconscious. "Good one, Angel. You had a plan to ease her into
your being alive. But no, you had to go and let her touch you and get the
shock of her life," he berated himself as he eased her to the ground.
He sat with her against his chest. It felt so good to hold her, after
all these years. He wanted to cry from joy that he was doing that
again. He'd missed how it felt, having her in his arms. It felt right,
as if his arms were made to hold her, and only her.
He shook those thoughts away, and tried to revive her. "Buffy?"
he checked her pulse to reassure himself she really _was_ okay. He
found that her pulse was strong, and he sighed with relief. "Come on,
Buffy, wake up. Please?" He looked around warily, realizing that
sitting in a cemetery with an unconscious Slayer at four in the
morning was not the prime situation to be in.
Buffy opened her eyes, and looked into Angel's. "You're alive?" She
looked up at him uncertainly.
"I guess that my long explanation just went out the window," Angel
replied with a smile.
She realized he was holding her. She pulled out of his arms, crawling
away quickly. "This isn't happening," she muttered, standing. "You're
alive????" She tried to force herself to find something else to say,
but her brain was stuck on that one sentence. She gave up, and stood
in silence, waiting for him to respond to the question.
Angel stood, and said, "Sit down, Buffy, this has to be a
shock for you." He reached for her and it was her turn to back away
quickly. He dropped his hand back to his side. "Buffy,
please, I need to explain this to you."
Buffy just looked at him, unsure whether she wanted to hear an explanation.
"Please?"
She sighed and sat back down on the bench. "Fine, explain."
"Thank you," he said and chose to stay standing. "Buffy, many years
ago, I found an ancient scroll. It contained prophecies, Wes went to
work translating it. It took him a while, but he figured out most
of it. One prophecy spoke of a vampire who fought on the side of good,
against the forces of evil. It said that the vampire fought against evil to
make amends for the great crimes he had inflicted on humanity. It was
talking about me, we realized. The final part is what really threw us:
that the vampire would one day repay his debt, and be rewarded with
the return of his humanity."
"And...what happened recently to make this prophecy come true?" Buffy
asked.
"The Scourge. A group of demons that we've fought before, they intended
to try to wipe out humanity this time. Cordelia, Wesley and I, along with
another person who works with us, Gunn, defeated the Scourge earlier...
yesterday. And afterward...I wasn't expecting it, but they decided to
give me my reward, a second chance at life."
"Who's they?"
"Doyle used to call them The Powers That Be. The ones in charge of
everything."
"So that's it? You're alive? Quest for redemption over?" Buffy
couldn't believe she was having this conversation. She'd hoped for it
for so many years, while alternately telling herself it would never
happen. This was most definitely NOT the way she'd imagined it would
happen. Wasn't the reuniting of soulmates supposed to be more
romantic, somehow? *No. That's not what this is. He left you,
remember? He can't just come back and expect you to fall into his
arms. Well, fine, you did that, but I mean willingly, not
unconsciously!*
"I don't think it means I'm going to stop trying to help people,"
Angel said slowly. "But I do believe that this... it's what they
wanted for me. I don't quite know why I earned it, but I have it from
the messengers from the source that it was the way they want it. I'm
alive, no mistake about it."
"Wow," Buffy looked away again. She was having a hard time looking at
him. Part of her wanted to beat him up for all the hell he'd put her
through, by leaving and by staying away. The other part of her
though...that was the reason she wasn't looking at him. "That's....
good, Angel. I'm ... I know it's something you've
probably wished for for a long time."
"I tried not to think about it," Angel said honestly. "If I had, I
think I would have gone crazy."
Buffy didn't reply, and Angel took advantage of the silence to
attempt to gauge her mood. She was avoiding his eyes, and she looked
confused, among other things. *Well, no kidding. If I ever wished for
this, she wished for it more. At least she did at one time. Now...Now
her body language says she doesn't want me here. Not that I can blame
her for that. There's so much pain and heartache built up over the years. On
both of our parts. Does it hurt her as much as it hurts me to be
together finally, and yet not together?*
"Why are you here?" she finally asked him, looking at him curiously.
She thought she saw the answer in his facial expression, and
continued, "Oh. This is the 'Hey, Buffy. I'm alive, so guess what, we
can be together now!' talk?" Her face contorted in pain, and she
looked away, saying, "If that's what this is, then go back to L.A.
I'm not that easy."
"Don't you think I know that?" Angel asked softly. "God, Buffy, I
know how much I hurt you all those years ago. I wouldn't presume to
expect anything like that." *I wouldn't. Hoping is not the same as
expecting.* "I just.... I couldn't NOT let you know about this. I
couldn't just let you hear it from someone else, either.
It wouldn't be right. Not after what we--" he shut his mouth
abruptly to keep from saying "mean to each other." *Past-tense,
Angel. That's becoming more and more clear as the night goes on.*
"Not after what we once meant to each other. I owed you that much."
"Oh." Buffy tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her heart. "Well,
open mouth insert foot. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions." She stood
and shrugged. "I'm happy for you, really. It's good news. I'm really tired,
though. So if we're done here--"
"No," Angel grabbed her arm again. "Wait. I don't think I'm
doing this right. I'm just..." *Truth might be a good thing to
try, Angel. If you want to ever get her back in your life again, that
is. Yeah, it'll hurt. But how much more would it hurt if things keep
dissolving like this to the point of no return and you haven't tried
your damnedest to reach her?*
"You're what?" Buffy countered. She ran a hand through her blonde
hair, and added, "Well, if we're not done, why don't we at least take
this somewhere less demon-friendly." Without waiting for his
response, she turned and walked away, leaving him to follow.
Angel managed catch Buffy as she fell to the ground,
unconscious. "Good one, Angel. You had a plan to ease her into
your being alive. But no, you had to go and let her touch you and get the
shock of her life," he berated himself as he eased her to the ground.
He sat with her against his chest. It felt so good to hold her, after
all these years. He wanted to cry from joy that he was doing that
again. He'd missed how it felt, having her in his arms. It felt right,
as if his arms were made to hold her, and only her.
He shook those thoughts away, and tried to revive her. "Buffy?"
he checked her pulse to reassure himself she really _was_ okay. He
found that her pulse was strong, and he sighed with relief. "Come on,
Buffy, wake up. Please?" He looked around warily, realizing that
sitting in a cemetery with an unconscious Slayer at four in the
morning was not the prime situation to be in.
Buffy opened her eyes, and looked into Angel's. "You're alive?" She
looked up at him uncertainly.
"I guess that my long explanation just went out the window," Angel
replied with a smile.
She realized he was holding her. She pulled out of his arms, crawling
away quickly. "This isn't happening," she muttered, standing. "You're
alive????" She tried to force herself to find something else to say,
but her brain was stuck on that one sentence. She gave up, and stood
in silence, waiting for him to respond to the question.
Angel stood, and said, "Sit down, Buffy, this has to be a
shock for you." He reached for her and it was her turn to back away
quickly. He dropped his hand back to his side. "Buffy,
please, I need to explain this to you."
Buffy just looked at him, unsure whether she wanted to hear an explanation.
"Please?"
She sighed and sat back down on the bench. "Fine, explain."
"Thank you," he said and chose to stay standing. "Buffy, many years
ago, I found an ancient scroll. It contained prophecies, Wes went to
work translating it. It took him a while, but he figured out most
of it. One prophecy spoke of a vampire who fought on the side of good,
against the forces of evil. It said that the vampire fought against evil to
make amends for the great crimes he had inflicted on humanity. It was
talking about me, we realized. The final part is what really threw us:
that the vampire would one day repay his debt, and be rewarded with
the return of his humanity."
"And...what happened recently to make this prophecy come true?" Buffy
asked.
"The Scourge. A group of demons that we've fought before, they intended
to try to wipe out humanity this time. Cordelia, Wesley and I, along with
another person who works with us, Gunn, defeated the Scourge earlier...
yesterday. And afterward...I wasn't expecting it, but they decided to
give me my reward, a second chance at life."
"Who's they?"
"Doyle used to call them The Powers That Be. The ones in charge of
everything."
"So that's it? You're alive? Quest for redemption over?" Buffy
couldn't believe she was having this conversation. She'd hoped for it
for so many years, while alternately telling herself it would never
happen. This was most definitely NOT the way she'd imagined it would
happen. Wasn't the reuniting of soulmates supposed to be more
romantic, somehow? *No. That's not what this is. He left you,
remember? He can't just come back and expect you to fall into his
arms. Well, fine, you did that, but I mean willingly, not
unconsciously!*
"I don't think it means I'm going to stop trying to help people,"
Angel said slowly. "But I do believe that this... it's what they
wanted for me. I don't quite know why I earned it, but I have it from
the messengers from the source that it was the way they want it. I'm
alive, no mistake about it."
"Wow," Buffy looked away again. She was having a hard time looking at
him. Part of her wanted to beat him up for all the hell he'd put her
through, by leaving and by staying away. The other part of her
though...that was the reason she wasn't looking at him. "That's....
good, Angel. I'm ... I know it's something you've
probably wished for for a long time."
"I tried not to think about it," Angel said honestly. "If I had, I
think I would have gone crazy."
Buffy didn't reply, and Angel took advantage of the silence to
attempt to gauge her mood. She was avoiding his eyes, and she looked
confused, among other things. *Well, no kidding. If I ever wished for
this, she wished for it more. At least she did at one time. Now...Now
her body language says she doesn't want me here. Not that I can blame
her for that. There's so much pain and heartache built up over the years. On
both of our parts. Does it hurt her as much as it hurts me to be
together finally, and yet not together?*
"Why are you here?" she finally asked him, looking at him curiously.
She thought she saw the answer in his facial expression, and
continued, "Oh. This is the 'Hey, Buffy. I'm alive, so guess what, we
can be together now!' talk?" Her face contorted in pain, and she
looked away, saying, "If that's what this is, then go back to L.A.
I'm not that easy."
"Don't you think I know that?" Angel asked softly. "God, Buffy, I
know how much I hurt you all those years ago. I wouldn't presume to
expect anything like that." *I wouldn't. Hoping is not the same as
expecting.* "I just.... I couldn't NOT let you know about this. I
couldn't just let you hear it from someone else, either.
It wouldn't be right. Not after what we--" he shut his mouth
abruptly to keep from saying "mean to each other." *Past-tense,
Angel. That's becoming more and more clear as the night goes on.*
"Not after what we once meant to each other. I owed you that much."
"Oh." Buffy tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her heart. "Well,
open mouth insert foot. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions." She stood
and shrugged. "I'm happy for you, really. It's good news. I'm really tired,
though. So if we're done here--"
"No," Angel grabbed her arm again. "Wait. I don't think I'm
doing this right. I'm just..." *Truth might be a good thing to
try, Angel. If you want to ever get her back in your life again, that
is. Yeah, it'll hurt. But how much more would it hurt if things keep
dissolving like this to the point of no return and you haven't tried
your damnedest to reach her?*
"You're what?" Buffy countered. She ran a hand through her blonde
hair, and added, "Well, if we're not done, why don't we at least take
this somewhere less demon-friendly." Without waiting for his
response, she turned and walked away, leaving him to follow.