Yay! Another chapter!! I'm not sure that I like this one very much… but it leads into the plot, so I have to post it…
I do not own this story. The people who do, have money… unlike me. I'm some poor, confused teenager who has more mental problems than he can manage. That, and I really miss my b/f… hmm, can you go through withdrawal from a person?
Dedications: Well, as always, I dedicate this chapter to my sister, Dar. But I'd also like to dedicate it to one of my favorite authors who I know is reading this. Yeah, I'm talking 'bout you AnimeCat. You should really read their stories. Dar's pen name is ~Trista~ and AnimeCat is AnimeCatARA. I highly recommend her story "Demons"; I love it! Another good writer I must mention is Midii Une. Her stories are awesome!
Mournful Love ~ Chapter 4
Heero was sitting on the couch, watching the news when Duo walked down stairs later that day. Sighing as he walked passed, he made his way to the kitchen for a snack. He grabbed a bag of chips and walked back into the living room to sit next to Heero. Munching on his chips he waited for Heero to say something, anything. Suddenly, Heero stood.
"Relena wants to go out tonight, so I might not be home until late," Heero said in his usual monotone.
"She does, huh?" He said softly, trying not to sound hurt.
"Hn."
Duo laid the chips on the table and turned to face Heero who was now in the doorway to the kitchen. "Why are you doing this?" Stunned, Heero stared.
"Doing what?" he asked simply, trying to ignore the accusations in Duo's voice.
"You like her, don't you, Heero?" No sense in wasting time. Might as well start with what was bugging him, right?
"Hn?" he asked trying to fit everything into the dishwasher.
"She's been all over you and you haven't cared one bit. I'm sick of it!" he was angry now.
"Sick of what Duo?" he asked.
"This! Of us, Heero, if that's what you want to call what we have. Do we even have anything? We've got sex, which's about it. Can you honestly tell me you have no feelings for her at all?"
"Duo, she means nothing to me. You're the one always saying I should be a little nicer," Heero reminded him, "And as for what we have or haven't got… You never complained before."
Not sure of what to say, Duo blurted out the only thing he could think of. "I love you."
Glass shattered as it hit the floor.
"…don't expect me to say it back, Duo," was all Heero said before he left the room, leaving Duo behind.
He didn't love him. Sure, he'd never said it, but Duo had always assumed he did. That's what he got for assuming. Sighing, he kneeled down and began to pick up the remains of the glass bowl.
There, he had done it. This would do it, this would finish off whatever it was that existed between them now… But the sight of Duo's face, the shattered look that only rejection can put there, mirrored the pain in his own chest.
***
Thirty-four thousand, thirty-five thousand, thirty-six thousand… The dots had been his entertainment for an hour now. 11:36, they should be home soon, he thought dully as he turned on his side to face the wall. The bed felt cold and strange to his skin. This was actually rather humorous when given a little thought; the bed was his own. Too much time in Heero's bed made his own seem strange.
The shutting of a door brought Duo out of his thoughts. They were home. Faking sleep, he listened to the movement down-stairs and then to the "Good night" and "Thank you". Finally, the door to the room next to his closed followed by the one down the hall. Finally content enough to sleep, Duo turned again.
It was no use; he couldn't sleep. Unless… Silently he got up and left his own room. Entering the one beside his, he closed the door softly behind him, trying not to wake anyone. Navigating his way in the dark didn't prove to be too difficult and soon he found himself in Heero's bed, snuggling against the other pilot.
"Duo…?"
"Hmn?" he asked groggily hoping that he wouldn't be told to leave.
"What are you doing?"
"I can't sleep in my bed," he whispered and tucked his head against Heero's chest.
"Why not?" he asked trying to control his own reaction to having the other boy so close.
"I miss you," Duo mumbled into Heero's shirt.
Tired of arguing with him, Heero gave up. Instead, he decided, he'd simply remind him of earlier. "Duo, I don't love you…"
"I know," he replied sadly, "You don't have to, just let me sleep here tonight."
Unsure of what to do, and unable to turn the other boy away when he looked as he did just then, Heero wrapped an arm around the other boy and held him. It seemed this would be harder than he'd thought…
***
"Duo," Heero said nudging the other boy softly. No reply. "Duo, it's morning, move so I can get up."
"Humn?" Duo mumbled looking dimly up at Heero.
"Get off me so I can go downstairs; you don't have to get up." Duo shifted his weight so the other boy could get out from under him.
"Do ya hafta Heero?" He whined. He received a glare in return.
"Duo, you shouldn't have come over here last night."
A little surprised, Duo managed to mumble a reply. "I couldn't sleep… it's been so long since I slept in my bed… it's just…"
"No excuses," Heero said firmly, "You'll have to sleep there eventually." Duo nodded mutely. He hadn't expected Heero to be so cold. He looked down, unable to meet the other man's glaring eyes any longer.
He had to get out of that room; he couldn't take it anymore. This was hurting himself and Duo way too much. If this was going to work he had to make Duo hate him. It would be the only way. But how to do that? Heero thought about this as he walked down the stairs.