I don't own any of this. I don't own the theme song from Donkey Kong 64, either. But I do own the changed version.
The Time War Chronicles Part 1: Challenge from The Past
They found themselves standing all together atop a high grassy plateau. It was a sunny day and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Down by the plateau's base, a small square patch of bare rock was visible. Four turrets rose from the perimeter, one in each corner. A dark form stood in the center. A group of fifty people stood off to one side, engaging each other in practice fights to see which of them would go up first. On the other side was a group of eight. Jadeite stepped forward and said, "Hey… I know this place…" Walking to the edge of the plateau, she peered down at the scene below and then exclaimed loudly, "Oh my God! We've just made a trip back in time!" Shade stepped up beside her and said, "What the heck just happened to us, Jadeite? Where in the world are we now?" Jadeite pointed down and replied, "Take a look down there. You'll see." He looked where she indicated for a moment, and then yelled, "Holy cow! We're in a parallel dimension or something! This place…we're seeing the initial warm-ups right before the Cell Games!" Cell looked confused at his shouted words. So did everyone else. Jadeite saw their confusion and explained to them calmly, "We've all crossed over into a parallel universe and arrived right before the Cell Games." Cell then stepped forward, completely perplexed, and interrupted, "But…but I'm me!" "So is he," Jadeite replied with a patient smile, "He's a different version of you. A double, so to speak. But he's very different from you. He is as Jade Falcon was." Shade poked her on the shoulder and asked her, "So we're here for the Cell Games. Now what do we do?" Jadeite stepped away from him, gestured expansively and replied in an urgent voice; "We have a tremendous opportunity lying before us right now. We can change the world…this world. We can change what is the past for us. We can act to stop Cell before he kills anyone in this tournament…" Shade practically tackled her after she said that. Eye to eye with her, screamed right in her face, "You want us to fight him?" She smiled at his wild reaction to her last words. "Not you," she said, "Me." Shade practically jumped on top of her. He screamed, "You alone? No way!" She replied, "Relax. I'll change to Laura and face him as her. I'll have all of my power, but he'll think I'm a pushover. Thusly, I will have the element of surprise. Also, I can transform. Each transformation is a lot more powerful than the last. And when I finally choose to become Jadeite…" Shade nodded to her, sharing in her feelings of complete confidence. She could take him. Jadeite smiled at him and then said, "Well, I'd better go and get started on the preliminaries." She then paused for a moment. "You guys can join in the fight after Cell ditches the rules out of desperation. Man, do I ever have an entrance planned for you!" She sent her plans directly into Shade's mind.
She turned and jogged down the side of the plateau, changing into her human form as she ran. The hybrid with green armor and black wings shifted into a short, thin girl with long brown hair and deep blue eyes. Laura wore a loose white tank top and brown denim shorts. Her long hair was done up in a single thick braid and her glasses sparkled in the sunlight. Leather sandals kicked up dust as she ran. She loped into the crowd and asked, "Which of you goons is currently the last in line to face off against Cell?" They pointed to a tall man with big bushy hair. Without another word, she charged at him and attacked. Using a mere fraction of her true powers, she beat him down in just minutes. Other challengers came quickly, and she took them all with ease. Soon she was the first in line and it was time to begin. Slipping into the old deceptive ways of her past, she put on her 'terrified girl' act, allowing herself to shiver and prepared to stutter. She had always been a superb actress. She would have thrown her physical retardation into the mix, but she had to make it believable that she had beaten the others. Now all she had to do was wait. When Cell called for the first challenger to come, she would put on her greatest act ever.
Cell smirked toward the waiting crowd and said, "Which of you pathetic fools will be the first to fall beneath my irresistible power?" Laura stepped forward and stammered in a squeaky little voice, "If-if you p-please, s-s-sir…I a-am." He just laughed at her for a moment, then said to the crowd seriously, "My first opponent is to be a mere child?" When he turned away from her, Laura put the palms of her hands to her face and made a colossal fart noise. Then she pointed at Cell, laughed at the top of her lungs and yelled out as loud as she could, "Whoa! Sounds like somebody had beans for dinner last night!" Her brazen attitude startled Cell into momentary immobility. She used that moment and continued, "It stinks back here! Why don't you do us all a favor and lay off the burritos?" That got the whole crowd roaring with laughter at Cell. That was more than what was necessary to get him riled up. His temper fairly exploded and he was ready to kill her. Had Laura been fully human, she would have been in very grave danger at that point.
When Cell whipped around to face her, it was plain to see that he was furious beyond all words. Laura put on a big stupid grin and waved at him in an idiotic fashion. He snarled at her, "You just signed your death warrant with that stunt, you impudent little brat!" She suddenly sneered at him and replied in a mocking tone, "Shut up, ego boy! You suck!" His anger went right through the roof when she said that to him. He charged at her, intending to kill her. She didn't move as he came at her and her grin never left her face. Just as he prepared to deal out the first hit, she rapidly hopped aside with a high, chirping giggle. "You missed me!" She was leaning up against a nearby pillar, faking a bored little yawn and regarding him with a derisive sideways leer. He then tried to kick her. She jumped straight upward and then landed right on top of the pillar that she had been leaning up against. "Up here, you dimwit!" He tried to pull a combo on her, punching and following up with a swift kick. She ducked down low, then jumped straight up. "Under I go, now over!" He went all out on her at that point, giving her a swift barrage of devastating punches and kicks in rapid-fire succession. She simply twisted her lithe little body, hopped sideways repeatedly and dodged all of it with great panache. When he finally stopped and backed off to reevaluate his attack strategy against her, she did a short little tap-dance routine. Then she sang The Chicken Song at the top of her lungs and also danced to it. Cell gaped at her in pure shock as she began to jump up and down while screaming incoherently, then began to run in circles while screaming 'Rubber Ducky' as loud as she could. She followed that by slowly waving her hand back and forth in front of her face while singing 'I'm A Little Teapot' in a robotic monotone. Lastly she stood on her head while screaming like a constipated chicken trying to lay a brick. He was really losing his temper with the fact that, despite the fact that she seemed to be totally insane, he couldn't hit her even once. Just then, he fired a huge blast of energy at her, deciding to just be rid of her. She gulped as it came at her. "Uh oh." It hit her with a giant explosion. Believing her to be dead, Cell turned away from where she had just stood and laughed, "Now that she's gone, who's up next?" His assumption soon proved to be quite wrong.
Behind him, the smoke slowly died away, revealing Laura, who was quite unharmed. Her clothes were mildly charred and soot streaked her pretty face. She looked to be rather irate, but she still wore her cocky little grin. She tensed up her small body and prepared to pull off the grand illusion of transforming into a Super Saiyan. Tilting her head back, taking a deep breath and opening her mouth, she began to power up. She sang rather than yelled, emitting a single crystal-clear low note. A bright nimbus of pale golden light began to dance around her lithe little body. As her power grew greater, the notes she sang grew higher and higher in pitch. Her open lips twisted in a smile as she shone at the heart of a second sun and sang at a pitch that could shatter glass with ease. Cell cringed at the sound, the pitch at which she was singing causing him incredible pain. He stared at her, an expression of pained shock on his face. Thick tendrils of dust curled around her and obscured her from his sight as she sang at a pitch that could easily deafen anyone. Then she stopped singing. The dust cloud that had enshrouded her faded away, revealing…an empty space. Recovering quickly, Cell stared at where Laura had been. Eventually, he growled, "Where is that little brat?" A voice cried from up high above him, "Up here!"
Cell looked up and saw the radiant blond-haired green-eyed maiden hovering above him. She sat in the air with her legs crossed and her chin resting on her hand. Remembering her earlier wild behavior, he mused out loud, "An insane Super Saiyan. Hmmm… Now there's something I've never seen before." Cocking her head, she looked at him and gave a half grin, looking at him with the very same expression he had looked upon others with. He heard echoes of words he had spoken earlier as she stated, "You will be the first to fall before my irresistible power." Then she laughed evilly and sneered at him. She asked him, the tones and inflections of her own voice mirroring his, "Do you know who I am?"
He just stared up at her. Taking his stunned silence as an answer in and of itself, she said, "Very well. I'll tell you exactly who I am. I am a biological weapon. I have no name, but if you feel you must call me something, you may call me The Ultimate. I was created for the specific purpose of destroying you, and that I shall do. There is absolutely nothing you can do which I cannot do better. Feel privileged, pathetic little fool, for you now face the greatest fighter that ever was, is and ever will be! I am utterly invincible! No one is stronger than I am!" She laughed at him, then said, "You are nothing to me, you puny little insect, and that is all you ever will be, in my opinion. To me you are weak." She certainly knew how to get him started, since that last statement made his blood boil.
Snarling threats and curses at her, he took to the air and lunged for her. She dodged everything he threw at her, smiling all the while. After just letting him attempt to hit her for a few minutes, she got tired of toying with him and savagely backhanded him to the ground. He fell over a hundred feet straight down and landed face down in his ring. Laura quietly drifted down to land across the ring from him. He got to hands and knees and tried to stand up, but he gave a sudden dizzy lurch and dropped back down to the ground. Breathing heavily, he tried to summon up his full power. He then looked up at her, an expression of pure hatred on his face. She was standing tall and proud, her arms crossed over her chest, smirking down at him. In short, she was acting exactly as he would have if he had beaten her. She laughed in his face and then said, "So here you are, bowing down before your better." The cold, smug expression on her face turned serious and she hissed, "Do you surrender to me? Do you admit that I have beaten you?" Recovering just enough to speak, Cell growled up at her, "Never! I'll never surrender to you!" Her smirk just grew even larger as she said to no one in particular, "Haven't had enough of a beating yet, huh? Don't you see? It's over! I've defeated you, you idiot!" Turning away from him and beginning to walk off, making a great show of powering down as she did so, she huffed over her shoulder at him, "Weakling." That was it, the very last straw. Cell decided that he'd had quite enough of this mysterious new adversary and forced himself to stand up. He fairly roared at her, "You dare call me a weakling?" Then he lunged at her with all his remaining strength. She just stopped and held very still, waiting until he was practically right on top of her, and then she simply…disappeared. Confused, Cell stopped and just stood there, looking from side to side. The crowd roared with laughter, as Laura appeared right behind him, pulled her foot backward and then gave Cell a hard, sharp kick directly in the rear. He yelped, a cry that sounded like someone had just stepped on a puppy's tail, as he did an involuntary midair flip and landed right on his face outside the ring. Laura looked at this and, as the crowd roared with laughter, she laughed at him too.
She abruptly stopped laughing as his aura flared a dark blood red and he shot back up to his feet with a wordless scream of incensed rage. The sight of him rising up to challenge her once again froze her in place for a single short moment. A single moment was all that Cell really needed to do his thing. He formed a huge energy blast in his hands and sent it at her with a savage cry of purest anger. It hit her dead on, making a colossal explosion. He looked at his handiwork and nodded once in pure satisfaction, then he turned around to face the other challengers and said in a mildly exasperated voice, "Now that the brat is gone again, who of you will be the next one to challenge my power?" He once again assumed that she was dead and gone, and once again he would soon be proved wrong.
The smoke died away to reveal a very angry Mewthree. She called out in a mocking little singsong voice, "Oh, Cell…" He quickly turned around and saw the white feline creature coming straight at him with the speed of a fighter jet set firmly on overdrive. She yelled at him at the top of her lungs as she attacked him, "That was my best shirt, you hideous, mutated nincompoop!" She coiled her long, strong tail around his chest; tightly binding both of his arms by his sides, then spread her great white wings and took off straight up into the air. High above the ground, she rapidly spun in place, swinging Cell in a wide circle as he screamed, then promptly folded her wings and dove toward the ground, let Cell go, and finally spread her wings and pulled up at the very last second. He hit the ring with the force of a very large freight train going full speed and then hitting a brick wall.
The ring was totally demolished by the force of the impact. Mewthree hovered in place, watching the dust kicked up by the impact. Then she heard a familiar voice resonate in her mind. From somewhere far away, Shade was sending her a warning. (Laura, look out! Cell's still in the fight! And what's more-he's angry!) Quickly casting her psychic awareness outward, she sensed Cell's fury building to high levels from deep within the pile of pulverized rubble that had once been his ring. From the very heart of the great dust cloud, Cell screamed up at her, "Final Flash!" The huge ball of energy tore straight through where she hovered. When it dissipated, she was gone from the area entirely. There was no sign of her ever having been there. Cell slowly dusted himself off and then grumbled angrily, "Good riddance, you weird floating talking cat thing." He sneered at where she had been and then said in a huff, "Okay, now that she's out of the way yet again… Now who's going to be up against me next?" All of the other challengers just stared at each other, silently pleading for someone else to go up against Cell next.
(NOT SO FAST!)
The voice thundered from out of nowhere. The sheer power of it exploded in Cell's mind. He doubled over, clutched at his throbbing head and screamed in tortured agony. (I'm not through with you yet, Cell! Death from above!) He then looked upward and gasped at the terrifying sight of the sharp-clawed gray-furred bat-winged red-eyed monstrosity diving right at him from high above. Ultra Mewthree came down at him with her back toward the sun, making her almost totally invisible until she was almost right on top of him. She then performed a high-speed, full-body tackle on him with all of her long, lethal talons fully extended before her, gashing him deeply in multiple places and sending him to the ground, having been knocked to the ground with just one solid hit. She stayed right there on top of him, her feet firmly planted on his wrists to pin down both of his arms, her long spiked tail wrapped loosely around his legs and her claws held firmly at his throat. He looked into her evil red eyes, an expression of stark terror written all over his face. Then he flinched and gave a low cry of pure horror as she bared her sharp fangs, lowered her head and nipped at his throat just enough to draw a little bit of blood. She raised her head again, licked the blood from her lips, and then said softly, (This victory goes to me, Cell.) Blind anger at the thought of losing to her suddenly overwhelmed his fear of her. He abruptly convulsed in her grasp, his internal energy exploding all around him as he fought to break free of her grip. He screamed in a rough voice, "Get away from me!" Ultra Mewthree was thrown high into the air. Cell smirked at her and said, "For fighters of our caliber, there's no point in having rules, is there? From now on, we fight to the death." Ultra Mewthree just smirked right back at him and said fearlessly, (Yo, you big imbecile… The one-on-one rule is also one of the many rules that you have just tossed out the window. So…) She sent a psychic cue to Shade and four of her other friends.
Suddenly, the sky went dark. Five feline creatures hovered there, posing dynamically. They were, in order of appearance: Mewtwo, Snowfall, Storm, Shade and King Cold. A voice came from out of nowhere, saying, "Here we-here we-here we go!" Then the weird voice began to rap out a crazy tune. A moment later, they began to boogie, dancing to music that had no definable source. Ultra Mewthree smirked over at Cell. Cell was just plain dumbfounded at the sight of them. He hadn't expected this to happen. He hadn't expected there to be more creatures like the odd challenger he now faced off against. There were five newcomers and they were all as strange as the first one he had seen. Now he was outnumbered. And if they were all as strong as the first, then he was in big trouble. For the first time ever, Cell began to seriously doubt that he could win the fight against them. A new feeling took hold of his heart and Cell quietly began to panic.
"So we're finally here
Performing for you
If you know the words
You can join in too
Put your hands together
If you want to clap
As we take you through
This funky rap!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
He's the leader of the bunch
You know him well
He's finally back
To kick some tail
His psionic gun
Can fire in spurts
If he shoots ya
It's gonna hurt
He's bigger, faster and stronger too
He's the first member of the P.C crew!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
This gal's got style
So listen up, dudes
She can change her size
To suit her mood
She's quick and nimble
When she needs to be
She can float through the air
With the greatest of ease
She's really hip; she's where it's at
With a skip and a hop, she's one cool cat!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
He's back again
And about time too
And this time
He's in the mood
He can fly real high
And squash things flat
With his Gravity Strike
He's one cool cat!
He'll make you smile
When he plays his tune
But bad guys beware
'Cuz he's after you!
Huh!
He has no style
He has no grace
This cat has a funny face
He can vanish
When he needs to
And play with weather
Hey, man, it's true!
He floats himself
Just like a balloon
This crazy cat just digs this tune!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
And finally
He's here for you
It's the last member
Of the P.C crew
This dude's so strong it isn't funny
He can make a bad guy cry out for Mummy
Can levitate a boulder
With relative ease
Makes throwing rocks
Seem such a breeze
He may be slow
He can't jump high
But this cat's
One heck of a guy!
Come on, man! Show us what you got!
Psychic, fantastic, premonition tells,
Floating, flashing, flying and element spells!
Ah yeah!
Psychic, fantastic, premonition tells,
Floating, flashing, flying and element spells!"
Cell's eyes had gotten really big. Their power levels were enormous; more than double his own! "I'll handle them later," he growled uncaringly as he slowly turned to face Ultra Mewthree, "But first I'll deal with you!" He lunged at her. The battle raged across the sky, neither one gaining any advantage over the other. Wanting to get the fight over with, Ultra Mewthree sneered at Cell, (You think you were Doctor Gero's final creation, don't you? You always believed Android 21 to be the last. Well, prepare to meet Android 22! And Android 22 is…) There was a bright, blinding flash of blinding white light and suddenly Jadeite hovered there. Her deep green armor darkened to become a dark ashen gray hue "…Me." That transformation completely stunned Cell. There was another one like him? And her power level was amazing! It completely dwarfed his own! She sneered at him and said coldly, "I am Jade Falcon, Android 22, queen of all destruction, the master of the universe. Many different people have called me many different things over the time that I have been alive and wreaking havoc on the world at large: black lady, daughter of darkness, child of shadow, evil queen, death goddess… But you, Cell…" Her face twisted in a bloodthirsty snarl of pure hatred. "…You can just call me your killer!"
With that, she lunged at him, screaming at him wordlessly and insanely. He just barely managed to block her first strike, but he soon found that she was far superior to him in every possible way. She moved so fast that he couldn't even see her. She hit so hard that he thought he was going to die for sure. He couldn't even catch up to her, much less get close enough to hit her. Desperation mixed with anger and stark terror as he tried in vain to move faster. She's so fast! I can't even see her! A short instant later, he was picking himself up out of the large pile of dirt that he'd just been socked into. She hits like a ton of bricks, too. Wet warmth slid somewhere deep down in the very back of his throat, wrapping warm, wet, slippery tendrils around deep inside his heaving lungs, momentarily threatening to drown him. A sudden surge of panic exploded within him and he promptly doubled over, coughing and gagging with a frantic intensity. A great plume of purplish blood spewed from his open mouth, splattering all over the ground before him. What's happening to me? He limply dropped down to land on his knees, frantically gasping for air and choking on his own blood. Feels like I'm dying… His hands were at his throat as if he were trying to pry away some strange invisible force that was bent on strangling him to death. An expression of pain and suffering crossed with confusion and fear settled in on his face as he fought in vain against the limitations thrust upon him by his own body. So…tired… Try as he might, the terrible weakness that he felt growing somewhere deep within his body just wouldn't go away. Have to…rest… As his swirling thoughts began to grow dimmer and more distant, the idea of just calling it quits and resting his weary body began to seem more and more attractive to him. Just for…a moment… He was barely even aware of it as he fell completely, limply dropping down to the ground. The pulverized dirt felt very soft and cool against his face. He could hear birds singing a soft lullaby to him from somewhere far away. Face Jade Falcon…after that… His harsh, labored breathing began to slow down and even out as his body gradually relaxed. The expression on his face grew calm, even tranquil. Right now…I'll rest for a few minutes… The darkness began to close in around him, the world was growing dim and distant, but he welcomed it. Yes… Things were slipping away from him, but he didn't really mind that fact. Rest… He almost smiled as everything fell away into a soft, warm darkness.
Jade Falcon could feel Cell's thoughts fading away into darkness. She turned to Mewtwo, then smirked and said; "He's losing consciousness. You want that I should leave him be, or should I give him what he would have given me if I had lost to him?" Mewtwo replied, (The choice is yours alone to make. Do with your prey as you will, Jade Falcon.) She then smiled evilly and said, "I'm not through with him just yet. I'll show him new levels of pain and suffering before I finish him off once and for all. Tell my love to avert his eyes from this. Get him to do it quickly. I can feel a certain murky violence coming on." She seemed pleased with that, as if her savage, violent urges were nothing new to her.
Mewtwo turned and sent the command to the hybrid that remained atop the plateau. Then he turned back to face Jade Falcon and nodded. (He's not watching you anymore, Jade Falcon. You may begin when ready.) She laughed out loud at that news. The sound was disturbing, ominous and all-around frightening. It was plain to all that watched her and heard her that she was slipping back into the sadistic ways of the original Jade Falcon. Mewtwo felt a moment's shock at the sight of his former beloved preparing to do evil. He turned away as well, not wanting to see the severe violence that would surely follow.
Wasting no more time on matters that she considered nothing more than mere trivialities Jade Falcon abruptly stepped forward, reached down with one hand, grabbed Cell by the throat and roughly hauled him up to her eye level. He just hung there limply, looking like he was either soundly asleep or in a coma. She suddenly slapped him hard across the face once, then again and again with increasing strength. Her face twisted in a fierce snarl as she suddenly, violently forced her way into his sleeping mind. If he wouldn't wake up naturally, then she would force him to wake up if such actions became necessary. What she had just done shocked her somewhere deep down inside of her raging soul. Invading someone's mind without first getting permission was the deepest, most basic violation she could have possibly performed. But she didn't really care about such things anymore.
As a young child, she'd always wondered what a creature like Cell would dream about. Now, as she stood on the sidelines of a colossal battlefield, she finally knew the answer. Armies moved all around her as large numbers of tanks rolled by and many thousands of warplanes soared by overhead. Groups of soldiers carrying large guns like bazookas and rocket launchers ran from one side of the scene to the other. A rapid-fire series of large explosions and the sounds of a massive scuffle drew her attention in the direction that the soldiers were all heading in. She turned and looked at the source of the sounds. What she saw elicited a gasp of pure shock from her. Amid vast swarms of exploding artillery shells, Cell was going up against Goku, Gohan, Piccolo, Trunks and even Vegeta all at once. Missiles launched from a seemingly infinite number of warplanes hit Cell every few seconds, but they had absolutely no effect on him. The five fighters were going at him all at the same time in a concerted effort that combined their strength, but they still couldn't even manage to touch him. Cell was invincible, unbeatable, a God among mere mortals. She took a moment to marvel at the size of his ego. Then she got right down to business. Using her psychic powers, she began to subtly alter elements in Cell's triumphant dream.
A hard punch directly in the face from Piccolo sent him sprawling face down on the ground. Stunned, he stayed there for a few seconds. After a few seconds, he moaned softly and slowly got onto hands and knees. An odd whistling sound came from somewhere high above. Looking upward, Cell saw that Vegeta was coming down at him feet first. The Saiyan's steel-tipped boots stomped down on his back, right between his glossy black wings, and he screamed in extreme pain. He heard a sickening wet crack as, below where he'd been hit, a searing heat filled his whole body. Coughing weakly, Cell tried to move, but found that he couldn't. His legs refused to respond and he could feel nothing from them. His milk-white face twisted in strain as he tried and failed to force himself to move. He gasped feebly, "What is this? What's happening to me?" Vegeta snarled, "Your spinal column was shattered by my last attack. You'll be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of your life…if, by some bizarre miracle, I decide to let you live." "No," Cell mewled in a soft voice, "No…" Due to the pain his newly crippled body was in, but also due to the fact that he had gotten a massive concussion in the fall, the hybrid did the one thing he had never done before in his entire life. He began to cry. He sobbed, "I don't want to be this way…" Vegeta smirked at the sight and said mockingly, "Don't worry, you pathetic monstrosity. I'll help you." Cell gazed up at him, a confused, devastated look on his face. Creating an enormous energy ball, Vegeta then clarified, "Help you into your next life, that is!" Laughing madly, he gave Cell a lethal blast.
Jade Falcon returned to reality just in time to see Cell convulse in her grip with a cry of startled fear. He opened his eyes and looked at her, confused and terrified. She smirked and said; "Now, Cell, we are going to play some more." Then she punched him straight in the face. She dragged him up into the air and then began to beat on him with a rapid flurry of devastating punches and kicks. Beyond all the pain and suffering that Cell was feeling, his rage was beginning to build. As his rage grew, so did his power. She laughed in his face as she dealt him another agonizing kick directly in the side and then sent him right back down to the ground. He landed in a huge cloud of dust. Jade Falcon smiled at the huge crater that Cell had just made. Crossing her arms, she cocked her head and smirked at the thought of having defeated Cell. She huffed softly, "And I thought that he'd actually be a challenge to me. There's no accounting for weaklings in life, though."
The Time War Chronicles Part 1: Challenge from The Past
They found themselves standing all together atop a high grassy plateau. It was a sunny day and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Down by the plateau's base, a small square patch of bare rock was visible. Four turrets rose from the perimeter, one in each corner. A dark form stood in the center. A group of fifty people stood off to one side, engaging each other in practice fights to see which of them would go up first. On the other side was a group of eight. Jadeite stepped forward and said, "Hey… I know this place…" Walking to the edge of the plateau, she peered down at the scene below and then exclaimed loudly, "Oh my God! We've just made a trip back in time!" Shade stepped up beside her and said, "What the heck just happened to us, Jadeite? Where in the world are we now?" Jadeite pointed down and replied, "Take a look down there. You'll see." He looked where she indicated for a moment, and then yelled, "Holy cow! We're in a parallel dimension or something! This place…we're seeing the initial warm-ups right before the Cell Games!" Cell looked confused at his shouted words. So did everyone else. Jadeite saw their confusion and explained to them calmly, "We've all crossed over into a parallel universe and arrived right before the Cell Games." Cell then stepped forward, completely perplexed, and interrupted, "But…but I'm me!" "So is he," Jadeite replied with a patient smile, "He's a different version of you. A double, so to speak. But he's very different from you. He is as Jade Falcon was." Shade poked her on the shoulder and asked her, "So we're here for the Cell Games. Now what do we do?" Jadeite stepped away from him, gestured expansively and replied in an urgent voice; "We have a tremendous opportunity lying before us right now. We can change the world…this world. We can change what is the past for us. We can act to stop Cell before he kills anyone in this tournament…" Shade practically tackled her after she said that. Eye to eye with her, screamed right in her face, "You want us to fight him?" She smiled at his wild reaction to her last words. "Not you," she said, "Me." Shade practically jumped on top of her. He screamed, "You alone? No way!" She replied, "Relax. I'll change to Laura and face him as her. I'll have all of my power, but he'll think I'm a pushover. Thusly, I will have the element of surprise. Also, I can transform. Each transformation is a lot more powerful than the last. And when I finally choose to become Jadeite…" Shade nodded to her, sharing in her feelings of complete confidence. She could take him. Jadeite smiled at him and then said, "Well, I'd better go and get started on the preliminaries." She then paused for a moment. "You guys can join in the fight after Cell ditches the rules out of desperation. Man, do I ever have an entrance planned for you!" She sent her plans directly into Shade's mind.
She turned and jogged down the side of the plateau, changing into her human form as she ran. The hybrid with green armor and black wings shifted into a short, thin girl with long brown hair and deep blue eyes. Laura wore a loose white tank top and brown denim shorts. Her long hair was done up in a single thick braid and her glasses sparkled in the sunlight. Leather sandals kicked up dust as she ran. She loped into the crowd and asked, "Which of you goons is currently the last in line to face off against Cell?" They pointed to a tall man with big bushy hair. Without another word, she charged at him and attacked. Using a mere fraction of her true powers, she beat him down in just minutes. Other challengers came quickly, and she took them all with ease. Soon she was the first in line and it was time to begin. Slipping into the old deceptive ways of her past, she put on her 'terrified girl' act, allowing herself to shiver and prepared to stutter. She had always been a superb actress. She would have thrown her physical retardation into the mix, but she had to make it believable that she had beaten the others. Now all she had to do was wait. When Cell called for the first challenger to come, she would put on her greatest act ever.
Cell smirked toward the waiting crowd and said, "Which of you pathetic fools will be the first to fall beneath my irresistible power?" Laura stepped forward and stammered in a squeaky little voice, "If-if you p-please, s-s-sir…I a-am." He just laughed at her for a moment, then said to the crowd seriously, "My first opponent is to be a mere child?" When he turned away from her, Laura put the palms of her hands to her face and made a colossal fart noise. Then she pointed at Cell, laughed at the top of her lungs and yelled out as loud as she could, "Whoa! Sounds like somebody had beans for dinner last night!" Her brazen attitude startled Cell into momentary immobility. She used that moment and continued, "It stinks back here! Why don't you do us all a favor and lay off the burritos?" That got the whole crowd roaring with laughter at Cell. That was more than what was necessary to get him riled up. His temper fairly exploded and he was ready to kill her. Had Laura been fully human, she would have been in very grave danger at that point.
When Cell whipped around to face her, it was plain to see that he was furious beyond all words. Laura put on a big stupid grin and waved at him in an idiotic fashion. He snarled at her, "You just signed your death warrant with that stunt, you impudent little brat!" She suddenly sneered at him and replied in a mocking tone, "Shut up, ego boy! You suck!" His anger went right through the roof when she said that to him. He charged at her, intending to kill her. She didn't move as he came at her and her grin never left her face. Just as he prepared to deal out the first hit, she rapidly hopped aside with a high, chirping giggle. "You missed me!" She was leaning up against a nearby pillar, faking a bored little yawn and regarding him with a derisive sideways leer. He then tried to kick her. She jumped straight upward and then landed right on top of the pillar that she had been leaning up against. "Up here, you dimwit!" He tried to pull a combo on her, punching and following up with a swift kick. She ducked down low, then jumped straight up. "Under I go, now over!" He went all out on her at that point, giving her a swift barrage of devastating punches and kicks in rapid-fire succession. She simply twisted her lithe little body, hopped sideways repeatedly and dodged all of it with great panache. When he finally stopped and backed off to reevaluate his attack strategy against her, she did a short little tap-dance routine. Then she sang The Chicken Song at the top of her lungs and also danced to it. Cell gaped at her in pure shock as she began to jump up and down while screaming incoherently, then began to run in circles while screaming 'Rubber Ducky' as loud as she could. She followed that by slowly waving her hand back and forth in front of her face while singing 'I'm A Little Teapot' in a robotic monotone. Lastly she stood on her head while screaming like a constipated chicken trying to lay a brick. He was really losing his temper with the fact that, despite the fact that she seemed to be totally insane, he couldn't hit her even once. Just then, he fired a huge blast of energy at her, deciding to just be rid of her. She gulped as it came at her. "Uh oh." It hit her with a giant explosion. Believing her to be dead, Cell turned away from where she had just stood and laughed, "Now that she's gone, who's up next?" His assumption soon proved to be quite wrong.
Behind him, the smoke slowly died away, revealing Laura, who was quite unharmed. Her clothes were mildly charred and soot streaked her pretty face. She looked to be rather irate, but she still wore her cocky little grin. She tensed up her small body and prepared to pull off the grand illusion of transforming into a Super Saiyan. Tilting her head back, taking a deep breath and opening her mouth, she began to power up. She sang rather than yelled, emitting a single crystal-clear low note. A bright nimbus of pale golden light began to dance around her lithe little body. As her power grew greater, the notes she sang grew higher and higher in pitch. Her open lips twisted in a smile as she shone at the heart of a second sun and sang at a pitch that could shatter glass with ease. Cell cringed at the sound, the pitch at which she was singing causing him incredible pain. He stared at her, an expression of pained shock on his face. Thick tendrils of dust curled around her and obscured her from his sight as she sang at a pitch that could easily deafen anyone. Then she stopped singing. The dust cloud that had enshrouded her faded away, revealing…an empty space. Recovering quickly, Cell stared at where Laura had been. Eventually, he growled, "Where is that little brat?" A voice cried from up high above him, "Up here!"
Cell looked up and saw the radiant blond-haired green-eyed maiden hovering above him. She sat in the air with her legs crossed and her chin resting on her hand. Remembering her earlier wild behavior, he mused out loud, "An insane Super Saiyan. Hmmm… Now there's something I've never seen before." Cocking her head, she looked at him and gave a half grin, looking at him with the very same expression he had looked upon others with. He heard echoes of words he had spoken earlier as she stated, "You will be the first to fall before my irresistible power." Then she laughed evilly and sneered at him. She asked him, the tones and inflections of her own voice mirroring his, "Do you know who I am?"
He just stared up at her. Taking his stunned silence as an answer in and of itself, she said, "Very well. I'll tell you exactly who I am. I am a biological weapon. I have no name, but if you feel you must call me something, you may call me The Ultimate. I was created for the specific purpose of destroying you, and that I shall do. There is absolutely nothing you can do which I cannot do better. Feel privileged, pathetic little fool, for you now face the greatest fighter that ever was, is and ever will be! I am utterly invincible! No one is stronger than I am!" She laughed at him, then said, "You are nothing to me, you puny little insect, and that is all you ever will be, in my opinion. To me you are weak." She certainly knew how to get him started, since that last statement made his blood boil.
Snarling threats and curses at her, he took to the air and lunged for her. She dodged everything he threw at her, smiling all the while. After just letting him attempt to hit her for a few minutes, she got tired of toying with him and savagely backhanded him to the ground. He fell over a hundred feet straight down and landed face down in his ring. Laura quietly drifted down to land across the ring from him. He got to hands and knees and tried to stand up, but he gave a sudden dizzy lurch and dropped back down to the ground. Breathing heavily, he tried to summon up his full power. He then looked up at her, an expression of pure hatred on his face. She was standing tall and proud, her arms crossed over her chest, smirking down at him. In short, she was acting exactly as he would have if he had beaten her. She laughed in his face and then said, "So here you are, bowing down before your better." The cold, smug expression on her face turned serious and she hissed, "Do you surrender to me? Do you admit that I have beaten you?" Recovering just enough to speak, Cell growled up at her, "Never! I'll never surrender to you!" Her smirk just grew even larger as she said to no one in particular, "Haven't had enough of a beating yet, huh? Don't you see? It's over! I've defeated you, you idiot!" Turning away from him and beginning to walk off, making a great show of powering down as she did so, she huffed over her shoulder at him, "Weakling." That was it, the very last straw. Cell decided that he'd had quite enough of this mysterious new adversary and forced himself to stand up. He fairly roared at her, "You dare call me a weakling?" Then he lunged at her with all his remaining strength. She just stopped and held very still, waiting until he was practically right on top of her, and then she simply…disappeared. Confused, Cell stopped and just stood there, looking from side to side. The crowd roared with laughter, as Laura appeared right behind him, pulled her foot backward and then gave Cell a hard, sharp kick directly in the rear. He yelped, a cry that sounded like someone had just stepped on a puppy's tail, as he did an involuntary midair flip and landed right on his face outside the ring. Laura looked at this and, as the crowd roared with laughter, she laughed at him too.
She abruptly stopped laughing as his aura flared a dark blood red and he shot back up to his feet with a wordless scream of incensed rage. The sight of him rising up to challenge her once again froze her in place for a single short moment. A single moment was all that Cell really needed to do his thing. He formed a huge energy blast in his hands and sent it at her with a savage cry of purest anger. It hit her dead on, making a colossal explosion. He looked at his handiwork and nodded once in pure satisfaction, then he turned around to face the other challengers and said in a mildly exasperated voice, "Now that the brat is gone again, who of you will be the next one to challenge my power?" He once again assumed that she was dead and gone, and once again he would soon be proved wrong.
The smoke died away to reveal a very angry Mewthree. She called out in a mocking little singsong voice, "Oh, Cell…" He quickly turned around and saw the white feline creature coming straight at him with the speed of a fighter jet set firmly on overdrive. She yelled at him at the top of her lungs as she attacked him, "That was my best shirt, you hideous, mutated nincompoop!" She coiled her long, strong tail around his chest; tightly binding both of his arms by his sides, then spread her great white wings and took off straight up into the air. High above the ground, she rapidly spun in place, swinging Cell in a wide circle as he screamed, then promptly folded her wings and dove toward the ground, let Cell go, and finally spread her wings and pulled up at the very last second. He hit the ring with the force of a very large freight train going full speed and then hitting a brick wall.
The ring was totally demolished by the force of the impact. Mewthree hovered in place, watching the dust kicked up by the impact. Then she heard a familiar voice resonate in her mind. From somewhere far away, Shade was sending her a warning. (Laura, look out! Cell's still in the fight! And what's more-he's angry!) Quickly casting her psychic awareness outward, she sensed Cell's fury building to high levels from deep within the pile of pulverized rubble that had once been his ring. From the very heart of the great dust cloud, Cell screamed up at her, "Final Flash!" The huge ball of energy tore straight through where she hovered. When it dissipated, she was gone from the area entirely. There was no sign of her ever having been there. Cell slowly dusted himself off and then grumbled angrily, "Good riddance, you weird floating talking cat thing." He sneered at where she had been and then said in a huff, "Okay, now that she's out of the way yet again… Now who's going to be up against me next?" All of the other challengers just stared at each other, silently pleading for someone else to go up against Cell next.
(NOT SO FAST!)
The voice thundered from out of nowhere. The sheer power of it exploded in Cell's mind. He doubled over, clutched at his throbbing head and screamed in tortured agony. (I'm not through with you yet, Cell! Death from above!) He then looked upward and gasped at the terrifying sight of the sharp-clawed gray-furred bat-winged red-eyed monstrosity diving right at him from high above. Ultra Mewthree came down at him with her back toward the sun, making her almost totally invisible until she was almost right on top of him. She then performed a high-speed, full-body tackle on him with all of her long, lethal talons fully extended before her, gashing him deeply in multiple places and sending him to the ground, having been knocked to the ground with just one solid hit. She stayed right there on top of him, her feet firmly planted on his wrists to pin down both of his arms, her long spiked tail wrapped loosely around his legs and her claws held firmly at his throat. He looked into her evil red eyes, an expression of stark terror written all over his face. Then he flinched and gave a low cry of pure horror as she bared her sharp fangs, lowered her head and nipped at his throat just enough to draw a little bit of blood. She raised her head again, licked the blood from her lips, and then said softly, (This victory goes to me, Cell.) Blind anger at the thought of losing to her suddenly overwhelmed his fear of her. He abruptly convulsed in her grasp, his internal energy exploding all around him as he fought to break free of her grip. He screamed in a rough voice, "Get away from me!" Ultra Mewthree was thrown high into the air. Cell smirked at her and said, "For fighters of our caliber, there's no point in having rules, is there? From now on, we fight to the death." Ultra Mewthree just smirked right back at him and said fearlessly, (Yo, you big imbecile… The one-on-one rule is also one of the many rules that you have just tossed out the window. So…) She sent a psychic cue to Shade and four of her other friends.
Suddenly, the sky went dark. Five feline creatures hovered there, posing dynamically. They were, in order of appearance: Mewtwo, Snowfall, Storm, Shade and King Cold. A voice came from out of nowhere, saying, "Here we-here we-here we go!" Then the weird voice began to rap out a crazy tune. A moment later, they began to boogie, dancing to music that had no definable source. Ultra Mewthree smirked over at Cell. Cell was just plain dumbfounded at the sight of them. He hadn't expected this to happen. He hadn't expected there to be more creatures like the odd challenger he now faced off against. There were five newcomers and they were all as strange as the first one he had seen. Now he was outnumbered. And if they were all as strong as the first, then he was in big trouble. For the first time ever, Cell began to seriously doubt that he could win the fight against them. A new feeling took hold of his heart and Cell quietly began to panic.
"So we're finally here
Performing for you
If you know the words
You can join in too
Put your hands together
If you want to clap
As we take you through
This funky rap!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
He's the leader of the bunch
You know him well
He's finally back
To kick some tail
His psionic gun
Can fire in spurts
If he shoots ya
It's gonna hurt
He's bigger, faster and stronger too
He's the first member of the P.C crew!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
This gal's got style
So listen up, dudes
She can change her size
To suit her mood
She's quick and nimble
When she needs to be
She can float through the air
With the greatest of ease
She's really hip; she's where it's at
With a skip and a hop, she's one cool cat!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
He's back again
And about time too
And this time
He's in the mood
He can fly real high
And squash things flat
With his Gravity Strike
He's one cool cat!
He'll make you smile
When he plays his tune
But bad guys beware
'Cuz he's after you!
Huh!
He has no style
He has no grace
This cat has a funny face
He can vanish
When he needs to
And play with weather
Hey, man, it's true!
He floats himself
Just like a balloon
This crazy cat just digs this tune!
Huh!
P.C!
Power-Cat!
P.C!
Power-Cat is here!
And finally
He's here for you
It's the last member
Of the P.C crew
This dude's so strong it isn't funny
He can make a bad guy cry out for Mummy
Can levitate a boulder
With relative ease
Makes throwing rocks
Seem such a breeze
He may be slow
He can't jump high
But this cat's
One heck of a guy!
Come on, man! Show us what you got!
Psychic, fantastic, premonition tells,
Floating, flashing, flying and element spells!
Ah yeah!
Psychic, fantastic, premonition tells,
Floating, flashing, flying and element spells!"
Cell's eyes had gotten really big. Their power levels were enormous; more than double his own! "I'll handle them later," he growled uncaringly as he slowly turned to face Ultra Mewthree, "But first I'll deal with you!" He lunged at her. The battle raged across the sky, neither one gaining any advantage over the other. Wanting to get the fight over with, Ultra Mewthree sneered at Cell, (You think you were Doctor Gero's final creation, don't you? You always believed Android 21 to be the last. Well, prepare to meet Android 22! And Android 22 is…) There was a bright, blinding flash of blinding white light and suddenly Jadeite hovered there. Her deep green armor darkened to become a dark ashen gray hue "…Me." That transformation completely stunned Cell. There was another one like him? And her power level was amazing! It completely dwarfed his own! She sneered at him and said coldly, "I am Jade Falcon, Android 22, queen of all destruction, the master of the universe. Many different people have called me many different things over the time that I have been alive and wreaking havoc on the world at large: black lady, daughter of darkness, child of shadow, evil queen, death goddess… But you, Cell…" Her face twisted in a bloodthirsty snarl of pure hatred. "…You can just call me your killer!"
With that, she lunged at him, screaming at him wordlessly and insanely. He just barely managed to block her first strike, but he soon found that she was far superior to him in every possible way. She moved so fast that he couldn't even see her. She hit so hard that he thought he was going to die for sure. He couldn't even catch up to her, much less get close enough to hit her. Desperation mixed with anger and stark terror as he tried in vain to move faster. She's so fast! I can't even see her! A short instant later, he was picking himself up out of the large pile of dirt that he'd just been socked into. She hits like a ton of bricks, too. Wet warmth slid somewhere deep down in the very back of his throat, wrapping warm, wet, slippery tendrils around deep inside his heaving lungs, momentarily threatening to drown him. A sudden surge of panic exploded within him and he promptly doubled over, coughing and gagging with a frantic intensity. A great plume of purplish blood spewed from his open mouth, splattering all over the ground before him. What's happening to me? He limply dropped down to land on his knees, frantically gasping for air and choking on his own blood. Feels like I'm dying… His hands were at his throat as if he were trying to pry away some strange invisible force that was bent on strangling him to death. An expression of pain and suffering crossed with confusion and fear settled in on his face as he fought in vain against the limitations thrust upon him by his own body. So…tired… Try as he might, the terrible weakness that he felt growing somewhere deep within his body just wouldn't go away. Have to…rest… As his swirling thoughts began to grow dimmer and more distant, the idea of just calling it quits and resting his weary body began to seem more and more attractive to him. Just for…a moment… He was barely even aware of it as he fell completely, limply dropping down to the ground. The pulverized dirt felt very soft and cool against his face. He could hear birds singing a soft lullaby to him from somewhere far away. Face Jade Falcon…after that… His harsh, labored breathing began to slow down and even out as his body gradually relaxed. The expression on his face grew calm, even tranquil. Right now…I'll rest for a few minutes… The darkness began to close in around him, the world was growing dim and distant, but he welcomed it. Yes… Things were slipping away from him, but he didn't really mind that fact. Rest… He almost smiled as everything fell away into a soft, warm darkness.
Jade Falcon could feel Cell's thoughts fading away into darkness. She turned to Mewtwo, then smirked and said; "He's losing consciousness. You want that I should leave him be, or should I give him what he would have given me if I had lost to him?" Mewtwo replied, (The choice is yours alone to make. Do with your prey as you will, Jade Falcon.) She then smiled evilly and said, "I'm not through with him just yet. I'll show him new levels of pain and suffering before I finish him off once and for all. Tell my love to avert his eyes from this. Get him to do it quickly. I can feel a certain murky violence coming on." She seemed pleased with that, as if her savage, violent urges were nothing new to her.
Mewtwo turned and sent the command to the hybrid that remained atop the plateau. Then he turned back to face Jade Falcon and nodded. (He's not watching you anymore, Jade Falcon. You may begin when ready.) She laughed out loud at that news. The sound was disturbing, ominous and all-around frightening. It was plain to all that watched her and heard her that she was slipping back into the sadistic ways of the original Jade Falcon. Mewtwo felt a moment's shock at the sight of his former beloved preparing to do evil. He turned away as well, not wanting to see the severe violence that would surely follow.
Wasting no more time on matters that she considered nothing more than mere trivialities Jade Falcon abruptly stepped forward, reached down with one hand, grabbed Cell by the throat and roughly hauled him up to her eye level. He just hung there limply, looking like he was either soundly asleep or in a coma. She suddenly slapped him hard across the face once, then again and again with increasing strength. Her face twisted in a fierce snarl as she suddenly, violently forced her way into his sleeping mind. If he wouldn't wake up naturally, then she would force him to wake up if such actions became necessary. What she had just done shocked her somewhere deep down inside of her raging soul. Invading someone's mind without first getting permission was the deepest, most basic violation she could have possibly performed. But she didn't really care about such things anymore.
As a young child, she'd always wondered what a creature like Cell would dream about. Now, as she stood on the sidelines of a colossal battlefield, she finally knew the answer. Armies moved all around her as large numbers of tanks rolled by and many thousands of warplanes soared by overhead. Groups of soldiers carrying large guns like bazookas and rocket launchers ran from one side of the scene to the other. A rapid-fire series of large explosions and the sounds of a massive scuffle drew her attention in the direction that the soldiers were all heading in. She turned and looked at the source of the sounds. What she saw elicited a gasp of pure shock from her. Amid vast swarms of exploding artillery shells, Cell was going up against Goku, Gohan, Piccolo, Trunks and even Vegeta all at once. Missiles launched from a seemingly infinite number of warplanes hit Cell every few seconds, but they had absolutely no effect on him. The five fighters were going at him all at the same time in a concerted effort that combined their strength, but they still couldn't even manage to touch him. Cell was invincible, unbeatable, a God among mere mortals. She took a moment to marvel at the size of his ego. Then she got right down to business. Using her psychic powers, she began to subtly alter elements in Cell's triumphant dream.
A hard punch directly in the face from Piccolo sent him sprawling face down on the ground. Stunned, he stayed there for a few seconds. After a few seconds, he moaned softly and slowly got onto hands and knees. An odd whistling sound came from somewhere high above. Looking upward, Cell saw that Vegeta was coming down at him feet first. The Saiyan's steel-tipped boots stomped down on his back, right between his glossy black wings, and he screamed in extreme pain. He heard a sickening wet crack as, below where he'd been hit, a searing heat filled his whole body. Coughing weakly, Cell tried to move, but found that he couldn't. His legs refused to respond and he could feel nothing from them. His milk-white face twisted in strain as he tried and failed to force himself to move. He gasped feebly, "What is this? What's happening to me?" Vegeta snarled, "Your spinal column was shattered by my last attack. You'll be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of your life…if, by some bizarre miracle, I decide to let you live." "No," Cell mewled in a soft voice, "No…" Due to the pain his newly crippled body was in, but also due to the fact that he had gotten a massive concussion in the fall, the hybrid did the one thing he had never done before in his entire life. He began to cry. He sobbed, "I don't want to be this way…" Vegeta smirked at the sight and said mockingly, "Don't worry, you pathetic monstrosity. I'll help you." Cell gazed up at him, a confused, devastated look on his face. Creating an enormous energy ball, Vegeta then clarified, "Help you into your next life, that is!" Laughing madly, he gave Cell a lethal blast.
Jade Falcon returned to reality just in time to see Cell convulse in her grip with a cry of startled fear. He opened his eyes and looked at her, confused and terrified. She smirked and said; "Now, Cell, we are going to play some more." Then she punched him straight in the face. She dragged him up into the air and then began to beat on him with a rapid flurry of devastating punches and kicks. Beyond all the pain and suffering that Cell was feeling, his rage was beginning to build. As his rage grew, so did his power. She laughed in his face as she dealt him another agonizing kick directly in the side and then sent him right back down to the ground. He landed in a huge cloud of dust. Jade Falcon smiled at the huge crater that Cell had just made. Crossing her arms, she cocked her head and smirked at the thought of having defeated Cell. She huffed softly, "And I thought that he'd actually be a challenge to me. There's no accounting for weaklings in life, though."