"Hi, guys" Cordelia said, apparently oblivious to the fact
that Buffy and Angel had seen her kissing someone earlier, and
now the someone was revealed as Wesley. "Guess we weren't the
only ones who decided to enjoy the beautiful day, huh?"
"Uh..."Angel really tried, but that was all he could come up
with. He was trying to compel his mind to make the connection:
Cordelia... and Wesley... together. However, his mind was
stubbornly refusing to cooperate with the attempt.
Cordelia gave Angel a strange look. She looked over at Buffy.
"What's his deal?"
Buffy grinned, "I think it might have something to do with the
fact that we saw you, earlier, kissing a random man and now we
discover there was nothing random at all about that man."
"Oh! Er, um, yes, you see..."Wesley trailed off and blushed a
bright red.
Cordelia shrugged, totally undaunted by the situation. "Shut
up, Wes" she said with a teasing smile. God, you act like a
little kid who's been found doing something wrong. Yes, Angel,
Wesley and I are seeing each other. We were going to tell you,
eventually."
Angel finally recovered his voice. "I'm happy for you, both of
you, if you're happy. I... well I was going to say I was
surprised, but I don't think I am. If anything, I'm surprised
it didn't happen sooner. But I am surprised you were able to
keep it from me."
"Oh, please" Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Angel, you've not
exactly been as observant about stuff as you used to be. You've
been pretty one-track-minded, and the object of that
one-track-mind is sitting beside you."
"I'm not that bad!"Angel protested. Cordelia and Wesley both
gave him a skeptical look. "Am I?"he asked.
"Definitely" Cordelia replied. "Not that that's a bad
thing, though. I like the non-broody version of you too much to
object to the lack of paying attention. Well, here I was going
to give _you_ a hard time about being all cozy alone with Buffy.
But I guess that'll just have to wait for another opportunity.
We're leaving now, I just wanted to say hi."
She waved and dragged off a still-stunned Wesley by the hand.
Angel smiled and shook his head. He turned back to Buffy, who
looked visibly amused at the situation. "What?"he asked.
"It's just weird" Buffy replied with a grin. "I remember
high school, how Wesley just worshiped the ground Cordy walked
on. Really ticked off Xander at the time. And now they're
together, after all these years?"
"What's so weird about it?"Angel asked. "If there's one
thing I've seen in almost three hundred years, it's that
things that are meant to be have a way of working themselves out
eventually. Take Willow and Xander, for instance. They certainly
had their share of relationships before they ended up together
finally."
"Or you and me?"Buffy replied hesitantly.
"Definitely" Angel said with a smile. "You want to take a
walk?"
"I'd love to."
Angel jumped to his feet, then offered his hand and pulled Buffy
up. He waited to see if she would pull her hand away. She
didn't and his heart skipped a beat. He decided he liked the
feeling.
They walked side by side along the edge of the pond, in silence
for a while. Buffy felt peaceful and she hoped the feeling would
last. She looked at the people around them as they walked,
mostly young couples or families with young children. *Must be
nice to have that kind of normal life. I wish I was ignorant of
the evil around us sometimes.*
Angel heard her sigh and looked down at her. "What's wrong?"
She looked into his eyes and knew he'd picked up on her mood
somehow. "I was just thinking I wish sometimes that I had what
some of these other people have. A normal, everyday life,
oblivious to what's really all around you. How did you do it,
Angel? How did you go so many years seeing everything you've
seen, and not go crazy?*
"I don't know" Angel shrugged. He stopped and faced her a
moment. "I guess for the first century I didn't do it all that
well. I avoided humanity, because I knew I didn't really belong
among them. The guilt was too overwhelming when I went too near
them, anyway. I tried to survive day-to-day, though I wasn't
really sure why I bothered at the time. I didn't see any
purpose, until Whistler found me and told me about you. Then
when I met you, started to help you, I felt like I had a reason,
a way to make up for every evil thing I'd done. And then even
after I left you, I knew I still had that purpose. That wasn't
the entire reason I stayed sane, though. All those years I also
held onto the hope that someday we'd find our way back together
again. If I'd ever let myself believe we were through, I don't
think I would have lasted. I think I would have gone crazy."
Buffy looked away a moment. She couldn't bring herself to think
clearly when she looked into Angel's eyes. She felt like he was
looking into her soul while revealing his soul to her. That was
part of what always had frightened her about loving him: the
intense connection they shared.
"I think that's part of why I survived as long as I did,
too" she said as she dropped his hand. She turned and looked
out over the pond. "I can't lie to you and say I had conscious
hope that I'd be with you again. Because I didn't, I had to
make myself move on. But somewhere, deep down, knowing that you
were still out there and fighting, it made me keep going. I knew
you loved me, Angel. But if you gave up *me* in order to fight
evil, then I had to believe that fight was more important. It
would've been selfish for me to just give up on the fight
myself. And I know that if I'd ever heard you were gone... even
with all my pretenses of being over you, it would have destroyed
me."
Angel walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her
waist. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "Like I said,
things work themselves out. We'll make it this time, I can't
believe otherwise."
Buffy relaxed against him with a nod. She couldn't help but
agree with him when she was in his arms like this. She felt safe
in his arms, she knew without a doubt that she loved him and he
loved her. They weren't totally back to the way they had once
been, yet; they still had a lot of pain to overcome. She was
willing to work through it, however, because she felt it would
be worth it. Besides, they'd given up enough, wasn't it time
for them to be happy? She thought it was.
If The Powers that Be ever determined otherwise, Buffy decided,
they'd just have to deal with her.
that Buffy and Angel had seen her kissing someone earlier, and
now the someone was revealed as Wesley. "Guess we weren't the
only ones who decided to enjoy the beautiful day, huh?"
"Uh..."Angel really tried, but that was all he could come up
with. He was trying to compel his mind to make the connection:
Cordelia... and Wesley... together. However, his mind was
stubbornly refusing to cooperate with the attempt.
Cordelia gave Angel a strange look. She looked over at Buffy.
"What's his deal?"
Buffy grinned, "I think it might have something to do with the
fact that we saw you, earlier, kissing a random man and now we
discover there was nothing random at all about that man."
"Oh! Er, um, yes, you see..."Wesley trailed off and blushed a
bright red.
Cordelia shrugged, totally undaunted by the situation. "Shut
up, Wes" she said with a teasing smile. God, you act like a
little kid who's been found doing something wrong. Yes, Angel,
Wesley and I are seeing each other. We were going to tell you,
eventually."
Angel finally recovered his voice. "I'm happy for you, both of
you, if you're happy. I... well I was going to say I was
surprised, but I don't think I am. If anything, I'm surprised
it didn't happen sooner. But I am surprised you were able to
keep it from me."
"Oh, please" Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Angel, you've not
exactly been as observant about stuff as you used to be. You've
been pretty one-track-minded, and the object of that
one-track-mind is sitting beside you."
"I'm not that bad!"Angel protested. Cordelia and Wesley both
gave him a skeptical look. "Am I?"he asked.
"Definitely" Cordelia replied. "Not that that's a bad
thing, though. I like the non-broody version of you too much to
object to the lack of paying attention. Well, here I was going
to give _you_ a hard time about being all cozy alone with Buffy.
But I guess that'll just have to wait for another opportunity.
We're leaving now, I just wanted to say hi."
She waved and dragged off a still-stunned Wesley by the hand.
Angel smiled and shook his head. He turned back to Buffy, who
looked visibly amused at the situation. "What?"he asked.
"It's just weird" Buffy replied with a grin. "I remember
high school, how Wesley just worshiped the ground Cordy walked
on. Really ticked off Xander at the time. And now they're
together, after all these years?"
"What's so weird about it?"Angel asked. "If there's one
thing I've seen in almost three hundred years, it's that
things that are meant to be have a way of working themselves out
eventually. Take Willow and Xander, for instance. They certainly
had their share of relationships before they ended up together
finally."
"Or you and me?"Buffy replied hesitantly.
"Definitely" Angel said with a smile. "You want to take a
walk?"
"I'd love to."
Angel jumped to his feet, then offered his hand and pulled Buffy
up. He waited to see if she would pull her hand away. She
didn't and his heart skipped a beat. He decided he liked the
feeling.
They walked side by side along the edge of the pond, in silence
for a while. Buffy felt peaceful and she hoped the feeling would
last. She looked at the people around them as they walked,
mostly young couples or families with young children. *Must be
nice to have that kind of normal life. I wish I was ignorant of
the evil around us sometimes.*
Angel heard her sigh and looked down at her. "What's wrong?"
She looked into his eyes and knew he'd picked up on her mood
somehow. "I was just thinking I wish sometimes that I had what
some of these other people have. A normal, everyday life,
oblivious to what's really all around you. How did you do it,
Angel? How did you go so many years seeing everything you've
seen, and not go crazy?*
"I don't know" Angel shrugged. He stopped and faced her a
moment. "I guess for the first century I didn't do it all that
well. I avoided humanity, because I knew I didn't really belong
among them. The guilt was too overwhelming when I went too near
them, anyway. I tried to survive day-to-day, though I wasn't
really sure why I bothered at the time. I didn't see any
purpose, until Whistler found me and told me about you. Then
when I met you, started to help you, I felt like I had a reason,
a way to make up for every evil thing I'd done. And then even
after I left you, I knew I still had that purpose. That wasn't
the entire reason I stayed sane, though. All those years I also
held onto the hope that someday we'd find our way back together
again. If I'd ever let myself believe we were through, I don't
think I would have lasted. I think I would have gone crazy."
Buffy looked away a moment. She couldn't bring herself to think
clearly when she looked into Angel's eyes. She felt like he was
looking into her soul while revealing his soul to her. That was
part of what always had frightened her about loving him: the
intense connection they shared.
"I think that's part of why I survived as long as I did,
too" she said as she dropped his hand. She turned and looked
out over the pond. "I can't lie to you and say I had conscious
hope that I'd be with you again. Because I didn't, I had to
make myself move on. But somewhere, deep down, knowing that you
were still out there and fighting, it made me keep going. I knew
you loved me, Angel. But if you gave up *me* in order to fight
evil, then I had to believe that fight was more important. It
would've been selfish for me to just give up on the fight
myself. And I know that if I'd ever heard you were gone... even
with all my pretenses of being over you, it would have destroyed
me."
Angel walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her
waist. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "Like I said,
things work themselves out. We'll make it this time, I can't
believe otherwise."
Buffy relaxed against him with a nod. She couldn't help but
agree with him when she was in his arms like this. She felt safe
in his arms, she knew without a doubt that she loved him and he
loved her. They weren't totally back to the way they had once
been, yet; they still had a lot of pain to overcome. She was
willing to work through it, however, because she felt it would
be worth it. Besides, they'd given up enough, wasn't it time
for them to be happy? She thought it was.
If The Powers that Be ever determined otherwise, Buffy decided,
they'd just have to deal with her.