Disclaimer: I do not own the girl that Aurora La'ana saw on the edge of the world, because she is Lyra and Philip Pullman owns her and since we are very obviously not married, I do not even own half of her. I do, however, own Aurora La'ana, her daughter La'ana, and the goddess La'ana. MWAH HA HA HA HAH! I own the translation of the name Aurora La'ana, unless it is correct, in which case whoever said they mean Light-within-the-Darkness owns that. I do not own sealskin or furs, being vegan (GO PETA!), much less Aurora La'ana's sealskin and furs. I do not own the world. I do not own the end of the world. I do not own George W. Bush, thank the Goddess! and I thought I'd say that in case he's so stupid he thinks La'ana is him and decides to sue me. And no, Dubya, La'ana is not based on you. Yada, yada, yada, the end.
A/N: This is pretty much the beginning of the era in which Lyra lives. The Aurora is not yet created, and there are no dæmons. (WAAAAH!) The Church is probably just a tiny cult, if it is anything. La'ana may or may not be a real Goddess. Being Wiccan, I prefer to believe she is, but those who share Philip Pullman's view can believe differently. And yes, I do realize that the ending is not the best.
And so, now that all that legal and background shit (that's French, really!) is over with, the story!
***
These slivers of being burst through me, like so many shattered curtains of vibrant light. They mix and swirl, undulate, all within me and invisible but more real than anything else I've felt. I call myself Aurora, Light-within-the-Darkness.
I was born with this bursting brilliance in me, yet it has never seemed mundane. Even as an infant, my eyes were black, black pools of night. In the pupils, strange lights gather, glitter. And so I was named La'ana Aurora, La'ana for the Goddess of Night and Aurora for the Light Within.
All my life, I have been drawn north, north towards these great empty expanses of ice and night. I found myself traveling north, away from all I had ever known and into this unfamiliar ground. I stopped, once, for a man for whom I bore a child, a tiny girl with hair like bright gold, but before the year had passed, the call of North became too strong and I took my daughter and left. It was not without tears, but I must grant you the truth. I was relieved. And I had my daughter, at least. I do not think I could have borne life without her.
She lies in my arms now, wrapped in sealskin and furs against the bitter cold. Bitter? Truthfully, it thrills me to the bones. And I have the sense that barely a few steps forward, just a few steps, waits my destiny, my fate.
And I am afraid.
Would you not be? For barely a yard in front of me, the earth ends. Or seems to, I do not know. The ice just ends in a sheer drop. If I should fall... La'ana, my daughter, seems so small, so delicate. I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid. But I must walk, I must keep walking. She opens her eyes, wails piteously, and I realized that I am clutching her tight, too tight. But I can't make my arms loosen her, lest she plummet over the edge as my imagination sees myself doing, and she wails. And then I take a step forward, and another step, and suddenly all is still. Silent. Vast. The vastness stretches on and on, and I am at the edge of it, on the edge of this cliff that is the edge of the world. Something has captivated me. I know what I have come for. I know what I must do.
My arms work separate of my mind, setting La'ana down in front of me. I am not afraid anymore. She stands quietly, looking grave-eyed out at something I can't see. I feel the power in me, steaming through my body, and I rise and rise, though beneath my feet there is still the unforgiving ice. My arms are raised to the sky, palms outward, and then the power ripples through me, streaming out from my hands in undulations of shattered light, streams and curtains of colored light, the light that is my name, my soul. I have a vision of a girl standing here many years hence, with the blond hair of my daughter, and I sense that she is our distant daughter, daughter of generations. The lights stream faster, faster, gathering around me in a brilliant haze, and then we rise because I am the light. And I am not named for La'ana, I am La'ana, and I will dwell in the sky.
I watch my daughter on the ridge of ice, and she watches me back.
And then I am gone.