[Every Hogwarts student has gathered for an assembly]
Harry: "I wonder why Dumbledore's called this assembly?"
Ron: "I dunno, it might about those unexplained disapearances..."
Hermione: "What are you rambling on about?"
Ron: "Nothing! What missing people..." (eye twitches)
Hermione: "Oh ho..."
[Dumbledore walks on stage]
Dumbledore: "Alright students, there is an issue that need be addressed urgently. (pauses)
It has come to my attention that some-well- all of you are dangerously unaware people,
(looks pointedly at Harry) concerning a topic in which I thought you would have more
sense in..."
Students: (cough)
Dumbledore: "Er... recently, I came to the discovery of-of this (pulls something out of robes)
The Mary Jane! At my school!" (puts small package of drugs back in robes)
Harry: "So that's where it went!"
Dumbledore: "I will not point fingers." (looks pointedly at Harry) "But instead decided to have
this little assembly. Enjoy!"
Students: (cough)
[All of a sudden, dazzling lights fill the room. A group of uncoordinated dancers fill the stage]
Dancer #1: "Don't be a FOOL!" (does an absurd dance)
Dancer #2: "Stay in SCHOOL!" (mimics above)
Dancer #3: "Drugs aren't COOL!"(tries to dance, and falls)
Dancer #4: "Um....you RULE (under breath) if-you-don't-use-drugs."
Dumbledore: (slaps forehead)
Dancer #1: "Hey kiddies, we are just here to say drugs aren't cool!"
Hermione: "You said that already."
Dancer #2: "and here is someone whose life was ruined by drugs!"
[The dancers push a solemn Sirius onstage]
Students: (even Harry) "GASP!"
Sirius: (seriously) "My name is Sirius. I am an alcoholic."
Students: (cough)
Dumbledore: (slaps forehead yet again) Idiot! This isn't your AA meeting!"
Sirius: (near tears) "But I am an alcoholic."
Dumbledore: "You are supposed to talk about drugs!"
Sirius: (slowly) "Well, alcohol led me to drugs..."
Dancer #3: "See, kids, you do drugs, you end up in Azkaban!"
Sirius: (indignant) "I was innocent."
Dancer #4: "Any questions?"
Harry: (waves hand, he is the only one)
Sirius: (wearily) "Yes?"
Harry: (stupidly) "What's an alcoholic?"
Dumbledore: (bangs head on a table)
Sirius: (bored) "Next question, anyone?"
Harry: "But you didn-"
Sirius: "Anyone!"
Ron: (smiles in a sinister fashion) "How would you like a refreshment Mr. Black?" (offers Sirius a bottle of Vodka)
Sirius: (foaming at the mouth) "Da....me..drink."
Dumbledore: "Put that away, Weasley!"
Sirius: (has already grabbed the bottle) "GLUB! -gulp-....-gulp-."
Dumbledore: (trying to wrestle the bottle away) "It's not worth it, man! Give me the bottle!"
Sirius: "You'll have to kill me first!"
Hermione: (pulling out a tranqullizer gun) "Maybe we will..."
Sirius: (dashing away) "They'll never take me alive!"
[After two steps, Sirius falls to the floor with a bright, fluffy, plume in his backside]
Sirius: (tongue lolling out) "Uh..."(snore)
Hermione: (shooting another dart; Sirius stirs) "Just in case."
Students: "Aughhhh!" (everyone scrambles to their dormitories)
Hermione: (shooting darts everywhere) "Ha ah! Arghhh!"
Harry: (sleepily) "Hmmm...Harry goes beddy-byes." (plunks to the floor)
Dumbledore: (sticking a dart in himself) "Me too's..." (plunk)
End
Disclaimer: do-not-own-Harry-Potter...
Hehe...not as funny as some of my other fics, but I found the drug-free dancers amusing. Don't you just love school assemblies?
Harry: "I wonder why Dumbledore's called this assembly?"
Ron: "I dunno, it might about those unexplained disapearances..."
Hermione: "What are you rambling on about?"
Ron: "Nothing! What missing people..." (eye twitches)
Hermione: "Oh ho..."
[Dumbledore walks on stage]
Dumbledore: "Alright students, there is an issue that need be addressed urgently. (pauses)
It has come to my attention that some-well- all of you are dangerously unaware people,
(looks pointedly at Harry) concerning a topic in which I thought you would have more
sense in..."
Students: (cough)
Dumbledore: "Er... recently, I came to the discovery of-of this (pulls something out of robes)
The Mary Jane! At my school!" (puts small package of drugs back in robes)
Harry: "So that's where it went!"
Dumbledore: "I will not point fingers." (looks pointedly at Harry) "But instead decided to have
this little assembly. Enjoy!"
Students: (cough)
[All of a sudden, dazzling lights fill the room. A group of uncoordinated dancers fill the stage]
Dancer #1: "Don't be a FOOL!" (does an absurd dance)
Dancer #2: "Stay in SCHOOL!" (mimics above)
Dancer #3: "Drugs aren't COOL!"(tries to dance, and falls)
Dancer #4: "Um....you RULE (under breath) if-you-don't-use-drugs."
Dumbledore: (slaps forehead)
Dancer #1: "Hey kiddies, we are just here to say drugs aren't cool!"
Hermione: "You said that already."
Dancer #2: "and here is someone whose life was ruined by drugs!"
[The dancers push a solemn Sirius onstage]
Students: (even Harry) "GASP!"
Sirius: (seriously) "My name is Sirius. I am an alcoholic."
Students: (cough)
Dumbledore: (slaps forehead yet again) Idiot! This isn't your AA meeting!"
Sirius: (near tears) "But I am an alcoholic."
Dumbledore: "You are supposed to talk about drugs!"
Sirius: (slowly) "Well, alcohol led me to drugs..."
Dancer #3: "See, kids, you do drugs, you end up in Azkaban!"
Sirius: (indignant) "I was innocent."
Dancer #4: "Any questions?"
Harry: (waves hand, he is the only one)
Sirius: (wearily) "Yes?"
Harry: (stupidly) "What's an alcoholic?"
Dumbledore: (bangs head on a table)
Sirius: (bored) "Next question, anyone?"
Harry: "But you didn-"
Sirius: "Anyone!"
Ron: (smiles in a sinister fashion) "How would you like a refreshment Mr. Black?" (offers Sirius a bottle of Vodka)
Sirius: (foaming at the mouth) "Da....me..drink."
Dumbledore: "Put that away, Weasley!"
Sirius: (has already grabbed the bottle) "GLUB! -gulp-....-gulp-."
Dumbledore: (trying to wrestle the bottle away) "It's not worth it, man! Give me the bottle!"
Sirius: "You'll have to kill me first!"
Hermione: (pulling out a tranqullizer gun) "Maybe we will..."
Sirius: (dashing away) "They'll never take me alive!"
[After two steps, Sirius falls to the floor with a bright, fluffy, plume in his backside]
Sirius: (tongue lolling out) "Uh..."(snore)
Hermione: (shooting another dart; Sirius stirs) "Just in case."
Students: "Aughhhh!" (everyone scrambles to their dormitories)
Hermione: (shooting darts everywhere) "Ha ah! Arghhh!"
Harry: (sleepily) "Hmmm...Harry goes beddy-byes." (plunks to the floor)
Dumbledore: (sticking a dart in himself) "Me too's..." (plunk)
End
Disclaimer: do-not-own-Harry-Potter...
Hehe...not as funny as some of my other fics, but I found the drug-free dancers amusing. Don't you just love school assemblies?