A/N: It's nice that when I speak, people listen! Okei, dears, this is the funny/odd version of chapter 3. I'll post this until I have the more serious chapter three. If you really like it, maybe I'll keep it as the actual chapter three and just go with it, or I could do both. Oh, the possibilities... Let me know what you think!
PS In my version, death eaters only wear masks when they're in public.
Thanks to Wyv and Bel (I wish I knew why it's so addictive. No one's been able to tell me.), Fleur, Tubbs, Becks, Cat Samwise, Glace de Slytherin (developing a case of Neville adoration? Don't worry. I've got one too.), DS Ire, Maidmarian62, Mrrrisa, Tom Riddilpley, Mystica, Luna (when dialogue gets involved, I forget to add depth), Padfoot Lover, Lelio (Who's better now. Yay!), and Rehanna.
***
Lucius gave an evil grin. Draco merely looked at him. He wasn't sure if death eaters were an improvement over darkness. "Goyle! Call the Dark Lord," Lucius commanded. Okay, given his options, he'd take darkness, pitch-black with little creatures scurrying about. He was torn between curiosity and the compelling urge to run screaming out of the dungeons. Fate is funny and somehow, curiosity won.
Draco watched as Goyle pulled back his sleeves and produced what appeared to be a woman's purse. He rummaged through it and drew out what Draco recognized as a Muggle "cell phone." Goyle looked blank for a moment. "Damn," said Goyle. "I've forgotten the number. What is it again?"
"Goyle, you idiot! Give me that!" Crabbe said, grabbing the phone. He dialed the number furiously and put it to his ear. His jaw dropped. "It's busy!" he exclaimed, hanging up.
"Busy?!" Lucius sputtered. "Who else would be calling him? Good lord, with genes like yours, it's a wonder your sons didn't end up vegetables."
"Boys inherit intelligence from their mothers," volunteered Nott.
"That explains you," Lucius sighed to Draco.
He dialed again. Draco heard the phone ring. Lucius's face turned into a look of surprise then annoyance. He tapped his foot impatiently. "What happened?" inquired Avery.
"I'm on hold," Lucius snapped. Draco, who was trying very hard not to laugh, let out a small giggle. "Take this," he growled, pushing the phone at Crabbe, who began to make some jerky movements resembling someone having a seizure. "What *are* you doing?"
"The tune is kinda catchy," Crabbe answered. Lucius put his hands to his temples.
"I 'm sorry I asked. Why me? Why?" Lucius sighed.
"Luci, the music stopped." Luci? Draco giggled again.
Lucius grabbed the phone and pointed his wand at it. "Sonorus! Now, we'll see what he has to say about this." Draco strained to hear despite himself. That was unnecessary. An ear-splitting shriek poured out of the phone and Lord Voldemort's hissing voice filled the room.
"My faithful death eaters, why have you called me?"
"Well-" Lucius began.
"Whatever it is, I hope it isn't time-sensitive because I'm going on holiday. It's not easy being evil and walking the line between life and death, so I thought I'd take a cruise. Call again in about a month or leave a message. On second thought, leave a message because I know you morons will forget to call in a month." There was a beep followed by the smashing of the phone, a tense silence as all the death eaters turned to look at Lucius, and Draco's laughter echoing through the halls as he made his not-so-sneaky escape.
***
*crosses fingers* What did you think? Keep it? Toss it? What? I haven't decided. Review!
Luv ya-
J. Silver
PS In my version, death eaters only wear masks when they're in public.
Thanks to Wyv and Bel (I wish I knew why it's so addictive. No one's been able to tell me.), Fleur, Tubbs, Becks, Cat Samwise, Glace de Slytherin (developing a case of Neville adoration? Don't worry. I've got one too.), DS Ire, Maidmarian62, Mrrrisa, Tom Riddilpley, Mystica, Luna (when dialogue gets involved, I forget to add depth), Padfoot Lover, Lelio (Who's better now. Yay!), and Rehanna.
***
Lucius gave an evil grin. Draco merely looked at him. He wasn't sure if death eaters were an improvement over darkness. "Goyle! Call the Dark Lord," Lucius commanded. Okay, given his options, he'd take darkness, pitch-black with little creatures scurrying about. He was torn between curiosity and the compelling urge to run screaming out of the dungeons. Fate is funny and somehow, curiosity won.
Draco watched as Goyle pulled back his sleeves and produced what appeared to be a woman's purse. He rummaged through it and drew out what Draco recognized as a Muggle "cell phone." Goyle looked blank for a moment. "Damn," said Goyle. "I've forgotten the number. What is it again?"
"Goyle, you idiot! Give me that!" Crabbe said, grabbing the phone. He dialed the number furiously and put it to his ear. His jaw dropped. "It's busy!" he exclaimed, hanging up.
"Busy?!" Lucius sputtered. "Who else would be calling him? Good lord, with genes like yours, it's a wonder your sons didn't end up vegetables."
"Boys inherit intelligence from their mothers," volunteered Nott.
"That explains you," Lucius sighed to Draco.
He dialed again. Draco heard the phone ring. Lucius's face turned into a look of surprise then annoyance. He tapped his foot impatiently. "What happened?" inquired Avery.
"I'm on hold," Lucius snapped. Draco, who was trying very hard not to laugh, let out a small giggle. "Take this," he growled, pushing the phone at Crabbe, who began to make some jerky movements resembling someone having a seizure. "What *are* you doing?"
"The tune is kinda catchy," Crabbe answered. Lucius put his hands to his temples.
"I 'm sorry I asked. Why me? Why?" Lucius sighed.
"Luci, the music stopped." Luci? Draco giggled again.
Lucius grabbed the phone and pointed his wand at it. "Sonorus! Now, we'll see what he has to say about this." Draco strained to hear despite himself. That was unnecessary. An ear-splitting shriek poured out of the phone and Lord Voldemort's hissing voice filled the room.
"My faithful death eaters, why have you called me?"
"Well-" Lucius began.
"Whatever it is, I hope it isn't time-sensitive because I'm going on holiday. It's not easy being evil and walking the line between life and death, so I thought I'd take a cruise. Call again in about a month or leave a message. On second thought, leave a message because I know you morons will forget to call in a month." There was a beep followed by the smashing of the phone, a tense silence as all the death eaters turned to look at Lucius, and Draco's laughter echoing through the halls as he made his not-so-sneaky escape.
***
*crosses fingers* What did you think? Keep it? Toss it? What? I haven't decided. Review!
Luv ya-
J. Silver