A/N: This chapter is um-intersting. On the upside, there's lots of Seamus!
Warning: Various kinds of Seamus abuse.
***
*BOOM!*
*cough*
*hack*
"Damn it, Finnigan! What the hell did you do?" demanded Draco, waving smoke away.
"*cough* I added the mandrake root."
"You dumbass! I told you three times-not one, not two, but three- you do not add the mandrake root until we take the cauldron off the fire!"
"Geez, I'm sorry."
"You know what? Just forget it! I'm out of here! You are driving me nuts!"
"And working with you has been the best experience of my life," quipped Seamus.
"Argh! If nothing else, you could at least make it a point not to make my life miserable."
"Where's the fun in that?"
"Keep it up, Finnigan. One of these days-"
"You're going to realize how much fun it is to work with me."
"Fun? My idea of fun does not include turning my cauldron into ooze!"
"No, your idea of fun includes handcuffs!" Seamus hissed. Draco turned pale. His lips compressed into a thin line. He gathered his thing and walked out of class without another glance at Seamus.
"Finnigan, see me after class," Snape said softly. Seamus winced.
"Finnigan, do you know why I keep pairing you and Draco?" Snape asked.
"No, professor," Seamus replied honestly.
"You give him a distraction."
"A distraction? I don't understand."
"There are unpleasant events happening in his life right now."
"So making fun of me makes him feel better?"
"It keeps him from brooding. Just, please, don't mention Harry." Seamus's mouth fell open. "It's like rubbing salt in the wound."
"You know about Draco and Harry?"
"I was among the first to find out."
"But-"
"You're dismissed."
"Yes, professor," Seamus said, making a beeline for the door.
"And Finnigan?"
"Yes?" Seamus answered, halting in the doorway.
"This conversation never happened."
"Yes, professor," Seamus replied with a grin.
Snape concerned about Draco? Seamus had to admit that was weird. Not just weird. It was bizarre. Still, it was kind sweet in an odd and evil Snape-like way...
Seamus knocked on the door of Snape's office. It opened instantly, and before Snape had time to react, Seamus kissed him eagerly. Snape returned it with just as much energy, tongue sliding into Seamus's mouth. They collapsed onto the bed, lips still locked. Snape's hands unfastened Seamus's robes and Seamus returned the favor. His hands met hot flesh as he gingerly touched Snape's chest. Seamus moaned and arched into Snape's hands as he entered him slowly-
Seamus woke up with a horrified yell that was quickly converted into a whimper. He hugged his knees to his chest. * I did not just dream about having sex with Snape. I did not just dream about having sex with Snape. I did not-* Damn! He did. He shuddered. Eww! That was just wrong and twisted on multiple levels. He shuddered again. If that's what happened when he slept, he was never going to do it again.
He woke up with a start. He glanced around the room while it slowly dawned on him that he was in the Defense Against Dark Arts Classroom and Bill was staring at him oddly. Seamus banged his head on the desk. "I don't believe I did that," he muttered. He looked up and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."
"I didn't realize my class was that boring. It would've been nice if someone told me," Bill said good-naturedly.
"No! No! It's not boring at all. I just-"
"Haven't been sleeping," Bill finished.
"Sworn off the stuff. It's no good for you. No good for me at least."
"Why do you say that?"
"Horrible nightmares."
"What could be so awful you've vowed never to sleep again?"
"Three words: sex with Snape." Bill winced.
"I see," he said.
"Trust me, you don't want to see."
"Seamus, sex with guys is no big deal."
"I agree completely. It's when you replace 'guys' with 'Snape' that I have problems. Of all people it had to be him! Of all teachers it had to be him!"
"Are teachers so very repulsive?" Bill laughed. Seamus could've kicked himself. His eye ran over Bill's red hair. He absolutely loved red hair, found it dead sexy even. Ever since he came to Hogwarts the Weasley family had been a special torment to him. Seven young people with hair as red as it got. It was enough to drive him crazy.
"Not all teachers. Just Snape- slimy, oily, the-term-asshole-was-invented-for-me Snape."
"Snape in a nutshell," Bill chuckled.
"Further proof on the 'G in Gryffindor Stands for Gay' theory."
"The what?" asked Seamus.
"A joke among me and my friends. We began to notice that a lot of Gryffindors are at least bi."
"Maybe it's just a recent thing."
"Nope, it's been that way for centuries. Ever wonder why Nearly Headless Nick was beheaded with a dull ax?"
"Now I do."
"His father-in-law caught him in bed with his brother-in-law."
"You're joking!"
"Ask him about it sometime. It's actually an interesting story."
Seamus looked at his watch. "Oh, shit! I'm late for Transfiguration! I've got to go!"
"Don't worry. I told her you were helping me. Go get some sleep."
"But-"
"Or I'll give you a detention. To be served with Snape." Seamus stretched.
"Oh my, as fun as that sounds, I'm positively exhausted. I've got a long afternoon ahead of me, so I'm going to go take a nap," he yawned.
"Why don't you do that," Bill agreed.
***
Poor Seamus! *turns slightly green* Review, please!
Luv ya!
J. Silver
Warning: Various kinds of Seamus abuse.
***
*BOOM!*
*cough*
*hack*
"Damn it, Finnigan! What the hell did you do?" demanded Draco, waving smoke away.
"*cough* I added the mandrake root."
"You dumbass! I told you three times-not one, not two, but three- you do not add the mandrake root until we take the cauldron off the fire!"
"Geez, I'm sorry."
"You know what? Just forget it! I'm out of here! You are driving me nuts!"
"And working with you has been the best experience of my life," quipped Seamus.
"Argh! If nothing else, you could at least make it a point not to make my life miserable."
"Where's the fun in that?"
"Keep it up, Finnigan. One of these days-"
"You're going to realize how much fun it is to work with me."
"Fun? My idea of fun does not include turning my cauldron into ooze!"
"No, your idea of fun includes handcuffs!" Seamus hissed. Draco turned pale. His lips compressed into a thin line. He gathered his thing and walked out of class without another glance at Seamus.
"Finnigan, see me after class," Snape said softly. Seamus winced.
"Finnigan, do you know why I keep pairing you and Draco?" Snape asked.
"No, professor," Seamus replied honestly.
"You give him a distraction."
"A distraction? I don't understand."
"There are unpleasant events happening in his life right now."
"So making fun of me makes him feel better?"
"It keeps him from brooding. Just, please, don't mention Harry." Seamus's mouth fell open. "It's like rubbing salt in the wound."
"You know about Draco and Harry?"
"I was among the first to find out."
"But-"
"You're dismissed."
"Yes, professor," Seamus said, making a beeline for the door.
"And Finnigan?"
"Yes?" Seamus answered, halting in the doorway.
"This conversation never happened."
"Yes, professor," Seamus replied with a grin.
Snape concerned about Draco? Seamus had to admit that was weird. Not just weird. It was bizarre. Still, it was kind sweet in an odd and evil Snape-like way...
Seamus knocked on the door of Snape's office. It opened instantly, and before Snape had time to react, Seamus kissed him eagerly. Snape returned it with just as much energy, tongue sliding into Seamus's mouth. They collapsed onto the bed, lips still locked. Snape's hands unfastened Seamus's robes and Seamus returned the favor. His hands met hot flesh as he gingerly touched Snape's chest. Seamus moaned and arched into Snape's hands as he entered him slowly-
Seamus woke up with a horrified yell that was quickly converted into a whimper. He hugged his knees to his chest. * I did not just dream about having sex with Snape. I did not just dream about having sex with Snape. I did not-* Damn! He did. He shuddered. Eww! That was just wrong and twisted on multiple levels. He shuddered again. If that's what happened when he slept, he was never going to do it again.
He woke up with a start. He glanced around the room while it slowly dawned on him that he was in the Defense Against Dark Arts Classroom and Bill was staring at him oddly. Seamus banged his head on the desk. "I don't believe I did that," he muttered. He looked up and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."
"I didn't realize my class was that boring. It would've been nice if someone told me," Bill said good-naturedly.
"No! No! It's not boring at all. I just-"
"Haven't been sleeping," Bill finished.
"Sworn off the stuff. It's no good for you. No good for me at least."
"Why do you say that?"
"Horrible nightmares."
"What could be so awful you've vowed never to sleep again?"
"Three words: sex with Snape." Bill winced.
"I see," he said.
"Trust me, you don't want to see."
"Seamus, sex with guys is no big deal."
"I agree completely. It's when you replace 'guys' with 'Snape' that I have problems. Of all people it had to be him! Of all teachers it had to be him!"
"Are teachers so very repulsive?" Bill laughed. Seamus could've kicked himself. His eye ran over Bill's red hair. He absolutely loved red hair, found it dead sexy even. Ever since he came to Hogwarts the Weasley family had been a special torment to him. Seven young people with hair as red as it got. It was enough to drive him crazy.
"Not all teachers. Just Snape- slimy, oily, the-term-asshole-was-invented-for-me Snape."
"Snape in a nutshell," Bill chuckled.
"Further proof on the 'G in Gryffindor Stands for Gay' theory."
"The what?" asked Seamus.
"A joke among me and my friends. We began to notice that a lot of Gryffindors are at least bi."
"Maybe it's just a recent thing."
"Nope, it's been that way for centuries. Ever wonder why Nearly Headless Nick was beheaded with a dull ax?"
"Now I do."
"His father-in-law caught him in bed with his brother-in-law."
"You're joking!"
"Ask him about it sometime. It's actually an interesting story."
Seamus looked at his watch. "Oh, shit! I'm late for Transfiguration! I've got to go!"
"Don't worry. I told her you were helping me. Go get some sleep."
"But-"
"Or I'll give you a detention. To be served with Snape." Seamus stretched.
"Oh my, as fun as that sounds, I'm positively exhausted. I've got a long afternoon ahead of me, so I'm going to go take a nap," he yawned.
"Why don't you do that," Bill agreed.
***
Poor Seamus! *turns slightly green* Review, please!
Luv ya!
J. Silver