A Cure for Insomnia
By: Priscilla Violet Regina
Disclaimer: I own the jar of pickle juice, nothing else! Although, a copy of Monopoly has graced my game collection, surprisingly...
Warning: Now Yaoi/Shonen Ai (other than friends) intended whatsoever. D&H just live together for mission purposes, k? K!
Insomnia is not a fun thing to cursed with, Duo soon found out. Lying in bed for hours it seemed, he tried every trick in the book.
Counting sheep.
Singing endless songs.
Trying not to think.
Counting sheep again.
Just plain counting.
None of it worked. So, he sat up and reached for his remote.
"Maybe there is something boring on TV..." he said aloud to no one but his three angel fish, half-heartedly trying to sound hopeful. Flipping through channels, he found a documentary on the mating habits of shrimp.
One thought crossed his mind.
'Those scientist people have way too much time on their hands.'
After about twenty minutes of watching sea bugs get it on, Duo sighed, and headed for the kitchen. Maybe a snack is all I need...
Reaching the fridge, he searched through what little contents it held.
A dish of some kind of casserole that was now the proud creator of an entire ecosystem of mold; a jar of Mayonnaise, no lid; a half empty cup of milk with icebergs; and a jar of pickle juice.
'What about in the freezer?'
A Popsicle was all the sleep-deprived Gundam Pilot found.
And it was the flavor he hated the most.
Coconut.
"Yuck!"
Going into his living room, he plopped down on the couch, trying to think of ways to entertain himself. Gazing around the room with exhausted eyes that refused to give in to sleep, he spotted a cabinet that was always locked up by Heero.
But Heero was out on a mission.
He wouldn't care, would he?
Hopping to his feet a bit too energetically for it to be one in the morning, Duo's hand prodded gently at his head, searching his knee length braid for a bobby pin. "Success!" he shouted, holding up the hair accessory. Making his way to the cabinet, Duo mentally prepared himself for all the scolding he'd receive from Heero when he returned the next day to their safehouse.
"Duo, this is the one place where I was guaranteed privacy! Guaranteed you wouldn't go through it...you promised, Maxwell. And you did it anyway. I'm very disappointed."
Duo had to laugh at the image of Heero reprimanding him, hands on his hips and face in the 'Don't go there, girlfriend!' expression.
"Who am I kidding? Heero will probably just throw a few Omae o Korosu's at me, scowl, pull his gun, hn and walk away, no second thought about it! Although the gun might be a slight problem..."
Once again, the braided one laughed. "Yeah, right."
The pop of a picked lock brought him back to attention, and he ducked as the cabinet doors opened rapidly, items falling down in torrents on the boy. "What is all this stuff?"
Boxes of cookies were scattered all over him and the floor around him, with the occasional bag of Hershey's or Reeses. Duo scowled. "So that's where all the junk food I keep buying goes! Hee-kun swipes it all for himself! How selfish!" Looking about him, Shinigami frowned as his stomach growled, seeming very loud in the silence of their empty safe house. Anger forgotten, he snatched a few boxes of cookies and a bag of Reeses, and headed back to his room.
A few hours, more documentaries, and five boxes of cookies later...
"Man, I still can't sleep! What am I gonna do? I have a mission in two hours!" Getting to his feet, a thought crossed his mind. Heading towards Heero's computer, he grabbed a bag of Hershey's and opened it, popping a kiss in his mouth while sitting down. The screen clicked on, filling the room with a fluorescent blue tint as the Amiga software loaded.
The wallpaper on the computer was black, all the icons were the same, and the cursor was a monotonous white arrow.
"Time to spice things up a bit..."
Half an hour passed, and finally, Duo was satisfied. Closing down the computer, he yawned and went back to the living room, pulling out every board game they had. Which was not a large number, but for Duo's purpose, it worked. Laying them out on the floor, he proceeded then to set up what little pieces they had to the games at random intervals on the floor, most of them blending in with the carpet. Kneeling by the couch, he grabbed a remote and held it to his face, whispering loudly into the battery pack.
"No Sleep to Empty Fridge, can you hear me? I have spotted the enemy, they're trying to hide in the shag. My troops will go in at your command..."
He paused, then adopted a lower and somewhat slower tone of speech. "No Sleep, send in your troops and you can have more of Cookie Hog's dough, got it?"
The insomnia driven maniac nodded. "Roger; over and--"
"Roger who?"
"You know, Roger!"
"Uh, no, I don't. Who is Roger?"
Duo must have made an odd sight, kneeling by the couch, board games everywhere, and talking to himself into a remote, but...
People do weird things when they can't sleep.
"It doesn't matter, Empty Fridge, I'm going in!"
With that, the one known as No Sleep hopped up, dropping the remote and screaming like a banshee, and proceeded to destroy every one of the enemy by repeatedly jumping on the board pieces until they were beyond recognition. Dancing in victory, Duo ran into the kitchen, slapped hands with Empty Fridge, and made his way over to Cookie Hog's cabinet to get his reward.
More dough.
Noticing it was almost dawn, the Gundam Pilot collapsed on the couch, remote by his ear, crumbs all around him, and watched the sun rise through heavily lidded eyes. As soon as his alarm went off for five o-clock, Duo threw a box at it and fell asleep, finally rid of his insomnia.
Heero came home from his mission at six, very tired and ready for bed himself, but as soon as he stepped in the door, he slipped on a Monopoly board and landed on his rear, Sorry piece poking him rudely.
Wing Zero's pilot gazed around the room in a daze, amazed at the mess the snoring baka had created.
Game boards everywhere, mutilated pieces scattered and mixed with cookie crumbs and candy wrappers...
Oh was that boy gonna get it.
Standing, he noticed a blinking from his computer that indicated someone other than himself had used it.
'No, not my lap top...' Fearing the worst, he pulled up the database, logging in as he always did. The gentle humming of the computer processing what he had just told it threatened to put Heero to sleep, but he was too anxious and afraid to see what Duo had done.
The wallpaper loaded first, followed by the icons, and finally, mouse cursor.
Heero couldn't move.
He was riveted.
Pink?
Bunnies?
FLOWERS!?!
The cursor was the worst part.
All it consisted of was text scrolling by that simply said:
"I love everyone."
"MAXWELL!"
Insomnia is not a fun thing to be cursed with, as Duo and Heero found out. But the only way to cure insomnia is sleep. And once an insomnia victim starts sleeping...
There's no telling when they'll wake up. So Duo Maxwell, finding the cure to insomnia, slept peacefully.
That is, until Heero found out that he had eaten every single box of cookies he had stowed.
-Owari