Disclaimers: All characters from the show do not belong to me – they come from head of Joss. Any others will be from head of me.
Summary: Set a few weeks after The Gift. Set around five weeks after The Gift. (Contains Spoilers) A member of the Scoobies is risen and they and the rest of the gang including Spike have to resolve issues around it. A B/S Shipper Fic.
Spoilers: Set after The Gift, so could reveal anything up to.
Rating: I've made it PG13, for purposes of future content.
Feedback: Please review and/or email me with your thoughts, its all very much appreciated.
Distribution: If you want to place it on your site, please mail me to ask. This is my own original writing and I'm sure no one in fan fic world would try rip me off!
Part 3 of Dream of Me.
Sitting there alone, Spike felt worse than ever. His dream had been the most vivid, the most poignant, and meaningful yet. The most upsetting, for it had taken him several hours to stop crying. That had been the longest since... since 'it' had happened. That day... night... he'd been uncontrollable... He'd sobbed for three days... 'Til he could cry no more. And it hurt that the pain had come back so badly. It hurt like hell.
***
"...Earth to earth... ashes to ashes... dust to dust... The Lord bless her and keep her, the Lord makes his face to shine upon her and be gracious to her, the Lord lift up his countenance upon her and give her peace. Amen."
"Amen" He whispered in the shadows.
Watching from the distance he'd paid his respects. Watched the people who barely knew her try to comfort those who loved her. But no one consoled him.
When it was dark enough, he came out of the shadows, and had sat on his knee's there, in front of where his love now lay.
He'd felt a small cold hand on his shoulder.
"She did know Spike."
He had just looked at the little one in the eyes. She had sat beside him, and they both just looked at the headstone that night. Neither able to utter another word.
* * *
The guilt made it worse. It wasn't just the fact he lost the woman he had loved. It was the fact maybe he could have stopped it. How he'd wished every second since that day he could have had a few more minutes. He could have got there in time, fought Doc properly, stopped him starting the ritual. Protected Dawn properly. Or even if... if he had been able to sacrifice himself somehow. He would have died for either of them - Dawn or Buffy - any day.
The picture in his hand was all he had now. He'd burnt everything else in a rage. But this one picture, Buffy, sitting in front of Sunnydale High, he'd rescued.
"I'm never going to stop loving you Buffy Summers. Even if you were a bloody slayer, I don't know what you did to me. But you did it good. Because here I am. Everything I despise."
Buffy had been holding Dawn in her arms for some time now. When Dawn had started crying, she had too. She hadn't known what to say to her, how to apologise, for leaving her. Now she was back. It was only Willow, Dawn and she who knew. Undoubtedly Tara would by now... And Giles, would Willow have told him?
She checked the clock on the wall. 10am. They may as well get up now anyway, it had been a long night - but they could catch up on sleep any night. Lost days they couldn't.
"Dawn" she whispered, kissing her sister on the forehead. "I won't leave you again. I promise. But you know I had to." She swept the long dark hair from her sisters' face, it was entangled with salty tears, and her young usually bright eyes were red and her skin damp. "I love you Dawn, I hope you didn't forget that."
"Dawn listen to me. Listen. I love you. I'll always love you. But this is the work I have to do. Tell Giles I... I figured it out. And I'm okay. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now -- you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."
That's all she had thought about. Clung to. Buffy's words. Those past few weeks had been the hardest, no mum, no sister, and her future in uncertainty. Willow had been nice enough... but... She'd felt alone. And now, all her prayers had been answered. Buffy was back. But the only the thing she could think about was she shouldn't have left, and that she had to stay. At least she'd had Spike. She'd been able to talk to him; it had seemed he was the only one who had understood.
"Dawn? Dawn?"
"Uh... Oh," She focused her red eyes on Buffy's. "I... I know Buffy."
"Now get up, and I'll make us some breakfast or something. I'm guessing a long day ahead, people to see right?" She smiled at her sister, trying to encourage one.
"Yeah. I'll be down now." Dawn smiled back; hoping the tears would stay back at least until her sister had gone.
"Ok." Buffy left the room, walking down her familiar hallway again, back down her stairs. Pausing before going into the kitchen, she stared at the sofa.
So many memories.
Summary: Set a few weeks after The Gift. Set around five weeks after The Gift. (Contains Spoilers) A member of the Scoobies is risen and they and the rest of the gang including Spike have to resolve issues around it. A B/S Shipper Fic.
Spoilers: Set after The Gift, so could reveal anything up to.
Rating: I've made it PG13, for purposes of future content.
Feedback: Please review and/or email me with your thoughts, its all very much appreciated.
Distribution: If you want to place it on your site, please mail me to ask. This is my own original writing and I'm sure no one in fan fic world would try rip me off!
Part 3 of Dream of Me.
Sitting there alone, Spike felt worse than ever. His dream had been the most vivid, the most poignant, and meaningful yet. The most upsetting, for it had taken him several hours to stop crying. That had been the longest since... since 'it' had happened. That day... night... he'd been uncontrollable... He'd sobbed for three days... 'Til he could cry no more. And it hurt that the pain had come back so badly. It hurt like hell.
***
"...Earth to earth... ashes to ashes... dust to dust... The Lord bless her and keep her, the Lord makes his face to shine upon her and be gracious to her, the Lord lift up his countenance upon her and give her peace. Amen."
"Amen" He whispered in the shadows.
Watching from the distance he'd paid his respects. Watched the people who barely knew her try to comfort those who loved her. But no one consoled him.
When it was dark enough, he came out of the shadows, and had sat on his knee's there, in front of where his love now lay.
He'd felt a small cold hand on his shoulder.
"She did know Spike."
He had just looked at the little one in the eyes. She had sat beside him, and they both just looked at the headstone that night. Neither able to utter another word.
* * *
The guilt made it worse. It wasn't just the fact he lost the woman he had loved. It was the fact maybe he could have stopped it. How he'd wished every second since that day he could have had a few more minutes. He could have got there in time, fought Doc properly, stopped him starting the ritual. Protected Dawn properly. Or even if... if he had been able to sacrifice himself somehow. He would have died for either of them - Dawn or Buffy - any day.
The picture in his hand was all he had now. He'd burnt everything else in a rage. But this one picture, Buffy, sitting in front of Sunnydale High, he'd rescued.
"I'm never going to stop loving you Buffy Summers. Even if you were a bloody slayer, I don't know what you did to me. But you did it good. Because here I am. Everything I despise."
Buffy had been holding Dawn in her arms for some time now. When Dawn had started crying, she had too. She hadn't known what to say to her, how to apologise, for leaving her. Now she was back. It was only Willow, Dawn and she who knew. Undoubtedly Tara would by now... And Giles, would Willow have told him?
She checked the clock on the wall. 10am. They may as well get up now anyway, it had been a long night - but they could catch up on sleep any night. Lost days they couldn't.
"Dawn" she whispered, kissing her sister on the forehead. "I won't leave you again. I promise. But you know I had to." She swept the long dark hair from her sisters' face, it was entangled with salty tears, and her young usually bright eyes were red and her skin damp. "I love you Dawn, I hope you didn't forget that."
"Dawn listen to me. Listen. I love you. I'll always love you. But this is the work I have to do. Tell Giles I... I figured it out. And I'm okay. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now -- you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."
That's all she had thought about. Clung to. Buffy's words. Those past few weeks had been the hardest, no mum, no sister, and her future in uncertainty. Willow had been nice enough... but... She'd felt alone. And now, all her prayers had been answered. Buffy was back. But the only the thing she could think about was she shouldn't have left, and that she had to stay. At least she'd had Spike. She'd been able to talk to him; it had seemed he was the only one who had understood.
"Dawn? Dawn?"
"Uh... Oh," She focused her red eyes on Buffy's. "I... I know Buffy."
"Now get up, and I'll make us some breakfast or something. I'm guessing a long day ahead, people to see right?" She smiled at her sister, trying to encourage one.
"Yeah. I'll be down now." Dawn smiled back; hoping the tears would stay back at least until her sister had gone.
"Ok." Buffy left the room, walking down her familiar hallway again, back down her stairs. Pausing before going into the kitchen, she stared at the sofa.
So many memories.